Let’s Blame Santa for Childhood Obesity

coke_santa.jpgWell, I guess it was only a matter of time. Something had to be done.

You see, kids are fatter than ever. And they’re only getting fatter.

Of course, we can’t address the primary cause of the problem (parenting) because it is nearly impossible to question people’s parenting skills — it’s a touchy issue that can make the abortion debate look like a civilized afternoon tea. Since we can’t make parents be better parents (which might include doing stuff like making sure their kids don’t sit in front of a video game for hours on end every day, putting a stop to the purchase of piles of junk food, and electing for a more home cooked meals sitting around a table than fast food feasts consumed in the family SUV), we must look elsewhere.

First we can ban cupcakes from schools. Then we can give out stuff like acorns and toothpaste to kids on Halloween. And you know what else we should do?

Make Santa go on a diet!

That’s what a British shopping center is out to do. Fiona Campbell-Reilly, spokeswoman at the Bluewater shopping centre thinks Santa is setting a bad example to the children who idolize him. She said, “Santa has been around for years, but society has changed and our Santa needs to reflect this.”


I wonder if we’ll ever go back to the day when parents act like parents so kids could act like kids.

Watch out, Easter Bunny, you’re next, what with your evil little basket filled with chocolate bunnies and jelly beans. Be afraid, Easter Bunny, be very afraid.

Technorati Tags: , , ,

want more good stuff like this?
Sign up to get the best this blog has to offer, including FREE weekly tips for
fighting Adultitis. It's like milk and cookies for your inbox! (Learn more.)


  1. Oy vey.

  2. Chris says:

    Oh dear; makes me embarrassed to be British!

    The same thing happened to the Little Chef – someone suggested (for a joke, it might be added) that the chef was a bit tubby, and the company decided they were right. He got his belly back after customer complaints, though.

  3. Talk about Political Correctness on LSD, The Washington Post has taken turned this story on its head, suggesting a whole mess of other bizzare things to make santa more modern from, fair labor laws for eleves to disability for Rudolf.

  4. I saw that Washington Post article…very funny. Probably because it’s not far off from the truth!

  5. Minette says:

    Just read the Washington Post article – thanks for the link, Veltrex! I, too, started laughing when I was reading it. However, about this whole Santa Claus losing weight thing – are people so afraid of change they have to blame SANTA??? I’m with Jason. Get a life, get out and play instead of sitting at the computer all day. Better yet, do what I did recently and get a puppy! They are guaranteed to get you moving and out into the world. I’ve lost 25 lbs so far and intend to lose more while I walk and play with my “little tornado” Pointer puppy.

  6. The Puppy Weight Loss Program — I love it, Minette! Better than diet pills and fasting for sure!

  7. Too funny! (Great link to the Post article by the way). I LOVE Santa. I remember my despair when I found out the truth. But as the oldest I still had to “pretend”.

    I still thought it was great. Santa brings families together, encourages sharing, and promotes fun and laughter. I loved it as a kid and I still love it now. I’ll always believe in Santa! :0)

  8. Shirley — Some people don’t like Santa because of how the modern day version was invented by Coke. But like you said, he brings families together and promotes fun and laughter. Good can always come out of less than ideal situations!

  9. Dylan says:

    Jason- the Coke inventing Santa thing is a myth. Santa has been fat since the 1800’s. And if they want to blame obesity on Christmas, lets talk about the feasts we have every year. This is just another example of adults calling kids irresponsible and then taking the easiest, most irresponsible way out of a mess, thereby making it worse. It’l never end.

    • …”the easiest most irresponsible way out of a mess…”

      Boy this sounds a lot like the government to me, Dylan. Heaven help us!


  1. […] Kim and I have felt that we’ve spent a lot of time ranting on bad parenting. A lot of that is attributed to our mission. Although it largely involves helping […]

Become an Adultitis Fighter!

Isn't it time to add a little happy to your inbox?