Keeping Kids Safe: Let’s Ban Tag!


In a story that seems ripped from the pages of The Onion, a middle school in Port Washington, New York has banned tag and cartwheels and balls of all sorts in order to cut down on injuries to children during recess.

Yet another example of adults ruining everything.

And we are one step closer to living in a society where we all wear Nerf clothing and drive on streets paved in Nerf in our Nerf-covered cars to our Nerf-wrapped places of employment.

Kind of makes me want to invest in Nerf stock.

Back in the day, if you didn’t accidentally cut yourself on some sort or metal-edged toy before 9:00 in the morning, you weren’t doing childhood right.

And now dodge ball is demonized, Red Rover has been neutered, and it’s illegal to throw a football around at recess. How long before recess itself is banned?

It’s easy to point fingers at the school officials. The main reason they’ve concocted this ridiculous new policy is most likely to avoid lawsuits. Which is a legitimate concern in our sue-happy society. If I may state the obvious, however, the idiots who sue people for stupid things AND the policymakers who try to stay one step ahead of them are both demopgraphic groups made entirely of adults.

There are plenty of fingers to go around, but they all point to one problem: grown-ups.

It’s a crystal clear indicator that Adultitis is winning the war. Make no mistake: we will continue fighting the good fight. I’m not advocating giving kids bags o’ glass for Christmas, but then again, I’m not sure which extreme is more terrifying.

Instead of turning into a society of wimps living painfully boring stories, let’s keep in mind that life is a contact sport, and no one gets out alive.

No matter how much Nerf you’re wearing.

What do YOU think about the decision to ban balls, tag, and cartwheels at recess?

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  1. Steven says:

    As a 35-year-old mature adult, I have one word for the poopyheads: ppbblbbpplbbbbbbtttttt!

  2. Laurie says:

    Ridiculous!!!!!!! Poor kids.

  3. Ed&Cindy Croal says:

    It is another mindless step to socialism. It is just to show that they have control. Patents need to be proactive and not let them get away with it.

  4. Heather Pierik says:

    Its bad enough that kids barely have enough time to run around at recess and get enough excercise in pe or gym class. Appparently we need to wrap every one in bubble wrap. Absolutely awful idea. Taking the fun out of everything.

  5. Anamarie says:

    We are creating a world of “play it Safe” kids……or even worse yet those who do not know how to react properly to situations that need confidance and maybe “risk” taking. There have been many names for different generations… boomers, the me generation, yuppies….what’s coming the roll over and play dead generation?

  6. I wouldn’t mind having nerf cars. I’d feel a lot safer driving on the highways. Nerf streets might be fun, too. You could bounce all the way to work!

    • Wanda Klimaszewski says:

      Jennifer I have to agreed with you. Would make my 45 minute commute a lot more fun!

    • I concur. As I wrote that part about Nerf, I actually thought that might be a fun way to go… :)

  7. Kris Bell says:

    I agree completely that our society has lost their “marbles”! We are a product of our actions. I am saddened by our lack of common sense. Bless all of those little ones who will not experience “living” the way we were meant to live. Bless all of those parents who DO have a clue and do all they can to give their children those experiences that will bless their lives as they grow.

  8. Wanda Klimaszewski says:

    I loved dodgeball and red rover! Adults complain that “kids now days are over weight” (In my deep grown up voice). Well when I was a child I left the house in the morning and played all day long. Grumbled when I had to eat dinner (which I hurried though) just so I could go OUT to play again! Of course, before the street lights came on. Oh we would play a number of games between that time. Everyone in the neighborhood. One of my favorites was hide n seek! We would run all over the neighborhood hiding. We use to play TV tag, commerical tag, cigarette tag, (back then it was except able), car tag. Smile. So stop making our children whimps it is ok if they get dirty. Have fun!

  9. Jill Bodwin says:

    Remember the old Saturday Night Live Commercials for the Bass-o-matic with Chevy Chase? I think they threw in a bag of broken glass.

  10. Anonymous says:

    I agree that you should not ban tag, somersaults and other contact sports on the playground. It is
    too restrictive to the active children. They banned springboards in pools too. Let the school district
    decide on these sports with input from the parents.

  11. If the present might come as a surprise, then evgen cooler.
    If not, you can sgill make it a small surprise by double wrapping
    it or furthermore, making 2 presents, your first being a kind of decoy.

  12. Melissa says:

    Thank you for the reference to Bags O Glass! That is one classic SNL skit. Wasn’t that followed by the giant teddy bear with the chainsaw in it?
    I think we are made to play and children need some free, unstructured play time especially to let out some energy during a school day!

  13. Being an educator and child care giver, I know what it is like to have to explain an injury to an irate parent – an injury that occurred under my care and supervision. It seems that some parents these days do not expect their children to get hurt, and when they do, it’s due to bad teaching/supervision. Either that or stop them from getting hurt in the first place. It is outrageous and there has to be a way that people can learn to understand that getting hurt at recess is not because of neglectful teachers (let’s hope so anyway), or due to dangerous and inappropriate conditions. Kids just get hurt because they can’t control their movements as adults do. Kids get hurt because they are not afraid to take risks and jump. It’s sad that adults have forgotten that, but no one wants to see their child hurt. I’m not sure there is a solution.

  14. Ridiculous for sure! The kids at my son’s school are always playing two hand touch football, kickball, soccer, tag, etc. at recess. They learn to make and play in teams under good teacher supervision. They learn fairness as well as get a lot of exercise in their 20 minutes outside. And if they didn’t I’m sure they’d all be doing very poorly in the classroom.

  15. We need more physical activity at recess, not less, to support our kids’ health (physical and mental)!


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