Help Write My Book (a Poll)


As you may have heard, we have a new book in the works with St. Martin’s Press about the “Rules That Don’t Exist.” There are approximately 1,385,984 of these so-called rules, although most of them have yet to be discovered. I have uncovered no less than 118 so far, but alas, the forthcoming book can only hold 40. (I smell a sequel. And maybe even some prequels starring the cousin of Jar Jar Binks!)

Anyhoo, I am on a writing retreat in Milwaukee this very moment, trying to decide which rules should be included in this particular book. So far, I’ve got over 30 of the rules nailed down.

But I could use your help.

I’ve got a number of rules that are on the fence, listed below in random order. Which ones most resonate with you? Which ones would you most like to read about? Which ones does the world most need to know about (and ignore)?

The ones that get the most votes will find their way into the finished book!

What Rules That Don't Exist do you think absolutely MUST be included in the book? (Select up to 5)

  • Thou Shalt Hide Thy Weirdness (43%, 91 Votes)
  • Thou Shalt Not Have Too Much Fun at Work (41%, 87 Votes)
  • Thine Offspring Shall Be Involved In A Million Extra Curricular Activities (40%, 85 Votes)
  • Thou Shalt Do and See Everything Whilst On Vacation (39%, 82 Votes)
  • Thou Shalt Take Thyself Seriously (34%, 71 Votes)
  • Thou Shalt Brag About How Busy Thou Art (31%, 66 Votes)
  • Thou Shalt Not Allow Others to See Thee Car Dancing (30%, 64 Votes)
  • Thine Offspring Must Wear a Respectable and Matching Outfit to School (28%, 60 Votes)
  • Thou Shalt Wear Matching Socks (28%, 59 Votes)
  • Thou Shall Not Say No to Good Things (23%, 48 Votes)
  • Thou Shalt Not Ask Too Many Questions (21%, 45 Votes)
  • Thou Shalt Finish Every Book Thou Has Started (21%, 45 Votes)
  • Thou Shalt Watch the Evening News to Stay Informed (19%, 40 Votes)
  • Thou Shalt Always Take the Promotion (18%, 39 Votes)
  • Thou Shalt Not Step On a Crack, Lest Thou Break Thy Mother’s Back (18%, 38 Votes)
  • Thou Shalt Not Have Fun Whilst Announcing You Have Cancer (17%, 35 Votes)
  • Thou Shalt Not Sit Too Close to the TV Lest Thou Ruin Thine Eyesight (14%, 30 Votes)

Total Voters: 211

Loading ... Loading ...

Thanks for sharing your two cents!

want more good stuff like this?
Sign up to get the best this blog has to offer, including FREE weekly tips for
fighting Adultitis. It's like milk and cookies for your inbox! (Learn more.)


  1. Marci J says:

    I think the rule “Thou shalt not say no to good things” could be tweaked to
    “Thou shalt not say no.” (Period)…….it’s taken me 36 years (and a few hundred counseling sessions to learn that we certainly, without a doubt, have permission to say NO – to anything – good, better, even iffy.

  2. Brett says:

    Next book can include this one: “Thou shalt work for the money, regardless of the passion.”

  3. You should check out “Thou Spleeny Swag-Bellied Miscreant” – Create Your Own Shakesperean Insults. It’s HILARIUOS – a three column flip chart that you can create with till the day is done!


  1. […] drafts for all 40 rules that will be in the book! I ended up including 6 of the top 7 rules voted on by you, so thank you to all who voted! (I decided the rule “Thou shalt take yourself […]

Become an Adultitis Fighter!

Isn't it time to add a little happy to your inbox?