In early 2000, I was discerning whether I should apply to a leadership program at work. I went to a monastery in Dubuque, IA (partly to escape from the Y2K craziness but that’s another story), and did a discernment exercise. Night before, write down pros and cons and then tuck the paper away, giving them up to God. Day one, “act as if you said yes to this decision”, see what happens, and write it all down. Day two, “act as if no”, see what happens, and write it all down. Day three, meet with the spiritual director. (This is a VERY truncated version of discernment, mind you!)

Day one – The sun shone; I wandered in the woods and had a flash of brilliance about how to finish a poem I’d been trying to finish for a year; everything was beautiful and all was bright and gay.

Day two – I woke up at 4 am with a raging headache, went to prayer at 4:30 am with said headache, had a hard time keeping “quiet” for the contemplative prayer period between 6-7 am, and when I went back to have breakfast, A FLY FELL IN MY OATMEAL! And it wasn’t even 8 am! It rained and was a generally crummy day.

Day three – I met with the spiritual director. I told her of my experiences. She laughed out loud and said, “You do know what He’s saying, don’t you? And you do know he’s usually not quite this black and white?” I hauled myself off, wrote my application, and sent it in. And wasn’t selected. I raged. I fired off an email to Sister. Why did God want me to apply for something that I wouldn’t get? Her response: “You asked if you should apply, not if you’d be accepted.” *hmph* In the meantime, every time I was at a work function with higher ups, they all told me to apply again the next year – 2000 had more applicants than usual because of a prior freeze. Since I wasn’t in the program, I was able to take care of a medical issue in the latter part of 2000.

End result? I applied again in 2001 (I didn’t bother with the discernment process), was accepted, had some amazing experiences in 2001 and 2002 (including being in Norfolk, VA less than two months after 9/11 – now THAT was high security!), and am forever grateful for the lesson in perseverance and trust. God answers in HIS time and manner, not ours, and he WILL answer your prayers, in ways you could never imagine!