OK, so it wouldn’t have exactly been my TV show.

I would have been the host of an established show called “Talk of the Town” in which I’d get to interview cool people around Madison. I was offered the job by a producer at a local TV station who heard me speak recently. If I did well, there was an opportunity to branch out into other shows, and maybe even create my own. Kim and I spent some time imagining the seeds of a pretty cool program we could do highlighting fun Adultitis-fighting things in our area.

While grocery shopping last week, I imagined what it would be like to be famous, even just in this part of Wisconsin. I’d be in the produce section picking out cantaloupe and someone would come up and accidentally bump my cart and then notice me and say something like, “Omigosh are you that guy from TV?” Then they’d roll away, with their shopping cart with three good wheels, flabbergasted by the fact that the guy from TV picks out his own cantaloupe.

I imagined rocking the local show so hard that some big national channel would come calling and pay me and Kim big bucks to do a show on their network. We’d get to go to all kinds of amazing places with our kids and interview even more cool people.

And then even people in Atlanta or Seattle or Peoria would recognize me as that guy from TV who actually buys his own cantaloupe.

The other day, I turned down the opportunity.

When it came right down to it, I don’t really want to be a TV personality. Some people come alive when they see a red light on a camera. Not me. I mean it’s fun, and I’m halfway decent on camera, but what makes ME come alive is being in my studio making art.

Last year, after years of being mostly dormant, I got back with my first love, art. And it was wonderful. I decided I wanted to devote more time to it, hoping that one day it could earn me enough money to not have to spend as much time on airplanes.

As soon as I made that commitment, it was amazing how many things popped up to derail me from following through. Steven Pressfield calls it The Resistance, and it is a bee yotch. It would whisper things like, “Your art is not that good,” or “Why are you wasting time on this when it’s not making you any money?” or “Hey, why don’t you watch this episode of Seinfeld for the 37th time?”

And then sometimes I would be presented with really good opportunities, like this TV show. And it could be easy to rationalize that such a show might be a great platform for my art and message. But then I realized that getting the show to that point would take a LOT of work. And all the hours I’d spend prepping and producing the show would be that many fewer hours I’d be able to spend doing what I really love: making art in my studio. I was also inspired by a post by Jon Acuff who was writing about the importance of saying no. He wrote:

“Each day I spend on the road away from my real goals, I get further away from being who I am trying to be.” –Jon Acuff

I have come to believe that when it comes to finding success and achieving your dreams, one big requirement is being completely honest with yourself. Are the actions you’re taking today leading you to where you want to end up tomorrow? Really?

In my speaking programs I often share that sometimes we have to say no to GOOD things in order to say yes to the BEST things. Turning down an offer to manage a McDonalds is easy. Turning down an offer to host a TV show, not so much. What an fantastic opportunity to take my own advice!

Maybe someday, when my art is more established and my kids are older, I’ll have more time to do something fun like a TV show. But for now it’s eat, sleep, speak and make art.

And buying cantaloupe unnoticed.

Kim and I have been watching MasterChef on Fox, starring one of our favorite TV personalities, fiery chef Gordon Ramsay. MasterChef conducted a nationwide search for the best home cooks in America, and through a series of exciting elimination rounds, will turn one of them into a culinary master.

In the initial audition episodes, the contestants had to prepare their signature dish for the panel of judges in an effort to win one of 30 aprons in order to advance to the next round. As she prepared her dish, a young Hispanic woman named Adeliz spoke passionately about her family’s food history. In a misguided attempt to impress the judges, she used squeeze bottles to begin drawing squiggly lines of reduction sauce on the plate.

It didn’t take long for them to sense a disconnect.

“I can hear the passion but I can’t taste it. You’re missing the most important part, the heart and soul of what you stand for.” — Gordon Ramsay

In an unprecedented move, Ramsey gave her a second chance. With a time limit of two hours, he implored her to drive home, raid her cupboard, and come back with the ingredients to cook to her strength, something truly authentic.

She returned, free of pretension, and made New Mexican chile rellenos starring green chiles straight from her freezer. A dish she’d made hundreds of times for her family.

The judges loved it. They unanimously rewarded her with a coveted apron. Ramsay encouraged her to continue to play to her strengths and stay authentic.

While this proved to be excellent advice for Adeliz, I think it’s a great life lesson for all of us.

You were created to be something special. Every time you pretend to be something you’re not, or hide your uniqueness from the world, you lose a little bit of that specialness. You look more and more like everybody else.

School and society teaches us to conform, to follow the leader, and to work on our weaknesses in order to become “well-rounded.” We’re so used to it, we think of it as solid common sense.

But it’s not.

You’re creating unnecessary competition for yourself. You’re blending in to the crowd. You’re becoming both mediocre and invisible.

A school in our area recently hired a new second grade teacher. They had over one hundred applicants to choose from for one position. I’ll guarantee you that the person they picked didn’t look like everybody else.

Here’s a fact: No matter how much work you do, you’ll never lift your below-average skills to anything that rivals the efforts of someone who’s naturally good at them. However, when focused towards the things you ARE good at, that same amount of effort can easily take you to a world-class level.

When I started out as a speaker (and an artist and writer, for that matter), I naturally imitated the people I admired. It’s a great way to learn. But I have found that the more I unleash my own uniqueness into what I offer, the more uncopyable — and successful — I become.

Whether you’re looking for a job, looking for a date, or looking for a way to be happy in life, the first step is to just be yourself.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” –Oscar Wilde

It really is a lot easier to be yourself than trying to pretend to be something you’re not. The hardest part is getting to the point where you feel like YOU is good enough. Especially if you have yet to enjoy the success of some of your role models.

Let me tell you something. You are MORE than good enough. You have talents that no one else has. (At the very least, you are in a specific position to use them in a way no one else can.) The world doesn’t need another (fill in the blank with your biggest hero), it needs you.

It needs your strengths, your passion, your authenticity.

Be you. The world is waiting.

Believe it or not, having a job you love is not a pipe dream. If it is, then please don’t wake me up.

No, dream jobs are not reserved for the lucky, the well-financed, or the ones with Ivy League diplomas. Not by a long shot. Believe it or not, your dream job is within your reach. I’ve outlined some of the most important tips to help you find your way. But be warned: The advice is brutally honest. But I’m sure you’ll find it as helpful as it is frank.

First, don’t be an idiot.
Following your heart and chasing your dream job can sound pretty fluffy. But following your heart doesn’t mean you should abandon common sense. Take your time. Plan wisely. Calculate your risks and act accordingly. If you currently have a less-than-stellar job that at least pays the bills, it’s ok to stick with it until your “evil plan” is ready to be unleashed. It’s not an all-or-nothing proposition. Reach for your dream, but don’t be an idiot.

Eating pachyderms.
Oftentimes, people look at their current situation, compare it to their dream career, and become totally overwhelmed. They focus on all of the things that would need to to occur in order to make that future dream a reality. The chasm looks too wide, the change too great. Dejected, they tell themselves that their current lot isn’t so bad after all, and settle for a life of silent disappointment.

The secret lies in the old saying about how to eat an elephant. I’m not sure what elephants taste like, or why you’d ever want to eat one, but the answer, of course, is one bite at a time. Don’t overwhelm yourself with the big picture and all of the details. Just take one bite. If you look objectively at your situation, there’s always one thing that makes sense as the next bite. It might be a tiny bite, but after that, another bite will present itself. Before you know it, you’ll have eaten the whole thing. *Burp*

Don’t focus on the losers.
It’s easy to scan your surroundings and find all sorts of people who have failed in their attempt at a dream. For the love of God, don’t use this as evidence to support why YOU can’t succeed! The history of mankind is filled with people who found a way to succeed when others around them failed. Perhaps they worked just a little bit longer to find the solution. Or maybe they used their creativity to find a different path.

Learn from the people who have failed. What did they do wrong? What didn’t they try? But never, never, never let those failures cause you to believe that success isn’t possible. If a trail hasn’t yet been blazed, then blaze your own. If you have an interesting mix of skills, think about how you might be able to combine them to offer something completely new. For instance, many cartoonists don’t like public speaking very much, and most professional speakers can’t draw. I’ve been able to combine these two skills (along with some others) to offer something unique to the market. The bottom line is this: just because someone hasn’t succeeded in some area doesn’t mean success is not possible.

Give up on the perfect.
To the restless souls who may be reading this, I’d like to point out that there are no perfect jobs. Even the jobs that seem perfect have their annoyances and difficulties. The power and money is nice, but presidents have to deal with busy schedules and lots of headaches and professional athletes endure rigorous training and endless travel.

Now please don’t misunderstand me. This is not a free pass to stay trapped in a job that you know could be better. But don’t waste your time flitting from one career to the next just because you have the false expectation of finding the perfect situation completely void of hassles and boredom. Not gonna happen.

Beware the almighty benefits.
I cannot tell you how many people choose to stay in their current soul-sucking, black-pit-of-death job solely for the benefits package.

Because we’re self-employed, Kim and I pay for our own health insurance. Self-funded health insurance can be expensive, and adding on maternity benefits costs an arm, a leg, and a house in the Hamptons. Naturally, this caused some concern as we contemplated starting a family.

Armed with the knowledge that we certainly were not the first couple to ever have a child without the almighty benefits, we did some research. To make a long story short, we looked into the actual costs involved with delivering a baby and all the assorted tests and doctor visits. We discovered that if we put a certain amount into savings each month, we’d actually come out farther ahead than if we paid the monthly premiums to add maternity coverage to our current health plan.

So that’s what we did. And we found a birth center that we fell in love with which allowed payment plans and discounts for pre-payment. Ultimately, all of the pregnancy and birth costs were completely paid in full before we welcomed our first child into the world.

Just one example that where there’s a will there’s a way. Please don’t stay in a job you hate just for the benefits. You’re worth more than that.

Risk is a requirement.
In order to achieve your dreams, some kind of risk will be required. It might be financial, physical, emotional, or all of the above. As I write this, big chunks of the global economy are in the tank. A down economy usually makes people shrink back from taking risks and trying new things. But ironically, sometimes that’s the best time to start a business. Opportunities are everywhere. When people are experiencing problems or pain, and you can step in with a solution, you will be very much in demand.

Don’t use the economy (or anything else, for that matter) as an excuse to stand pat and avoid a risk. There will never be a perfect time to make the leap. Believe me, you won’t have to try too hard to find some reason why it’s better off staying right where you are. But ships weren’t built to stay in the harbor. Eventually, you need to push away from your comfort zone to experience the exhilaration of an open sea adventure.

Listen to the guy upstairs.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my belief that unless you’re in line with the Big Guy Upstairs, you may be in for a rocky go of it. I believe that we were built by our Creator to accomplish great things through him. He’s the one that planted the dreams and desires in our heart. Spending time in prayer and letting him guide your steps is not only wise counsel, but it is a big comfort during the the rough patches of the journey. Because if you’re working on something worthwhile, the rough patches are sure to come.

Honesty and change can be icky. Get over it.
You need to be willing to be uncomfortable. I’d say that this is the biggest reason people stay stuck in jobs they hate. Change is not easy. Sometimes it’s scary. And let’s face it, most people reading this have a pretty decent and comfortable life.

To get from where you are to where you want to be is not easy. But you have to be painfully honest with yourself. You need to quit living by rules that don’t exist. You may have a small list of reasons why you can’t really pursue your dream job. They seem iron-clad. But you know what?

They’re weak.

Think about all of the reasons you think you can’t change your current situation. There are probably a million of them, sounding like this: I don’t have enough experience. There’s too much competition. The town I live in is too small. I have a family to support. We need the benefits. I don’t have enough money to get started. The economy stinks. I’m too old. I’m too young. The list goes on and on. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying these might not be hurdles.

I’m simply saying that they can be hurdled.

Examine your list of reasons why you can’t do something and be brutally honest with yourself. Analyze each one to see if you’ve elevated it to a rule that doesn’t really exist. Chances are, you probably CAN overcome those hurdles. But maybe – and this is where the brutal honesty comes in – it will require a little more effort or sacrifice or risk than you are willing to give. If that’s true, then fine. Admit it. But do me and yourself a favor and instead of complaining that you can’t do something, just admit you don’t want it bad enough.

How’s that for honesty?

Fun. Scary. Exhilarating. Tiring. Invigorating. Challenging. Rewarding. Going after your dream is all of the above. It delivers a life filled with adventure and leaves the world a better place because of all the people you impact along the way.

Sometimes it’s an overwhelming task, but it is my wish that these thoughts will inspire you to take that next step on your journey.

Oh, and I hope your elephant tastes delicious.

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I like driving by our old apartment every now and again. It’s a good reminder to me of the long, winding road Kim and I have traveled and the ridiculous faithfulness of God.

It’s funny how once you achieve a certain level of success, in retrospect, the road you took to get there never seems as bumpy.

Nowhere is this more evident than in having kids, by the way. The first month with a newborn is rough stuff. No one in their right mind would subject themselves to that again after having just gone through it. But given enough time, the tortuous sleep depravity and foul, sloppy diapers don’t seem nearly as formidable. Eventually, having another kid seems like a fine idea.

But I digress. (And no, this in no way should be construed as any sort of “announcement.”)

Back to the apartment.

We lived in that apartment for over eight years. While friends, family, and peers upgraded to bigger and better homes in the suburbs, started families, and enjoyed the finer things in life, we stuck it out in the apartment. We outlasted several management companies, and even though great promises were made when we signed our lease, the cracked and weed-ridden tennis court never was restored. While we’re pretty certain some people close to us figured we’d be there forever, we always saw it as an investment.

Putting up with the rust and grime that took over the shower? An investment.

The pounding death metal music that started up at 2 a.m.? An investment.

Years of sticky summer days with no air conditioning? An investment.

Coexisting with the losers up to no good on the corner? An investment.

The dents our car’s hood endured from the kids who thought it would be a good place to play? Yep, an investment.

We knew that the longer we stayed in that cheap apartment, the more time we’d be able to buy toward building our business and our future. It took WAY longer than we’d hoped to figure things out and make a real living at this. It was hard. Heart-wrenching. Scary. Discouraging. Frustrating. But our story isn’t much different than anyone else who has seen dreams come true (especially the “WAY longer” part).

If you’re not where you want to be in life, you need to be actively investing in getting there.

Sometimes that means money. Sometimes it means sacrifice. Practice. Doing the grunt work. Putting in your time.

Everyone is in search of some magic bullet, a secret formula that makes success easy and guaranteed. Lots of people make lots of money selling this false hope (especially on the Internet!).

Newsflash: There isn’t one. There just isn’t.

It takes a great number of years to create an “overnight success.”

We are often led to believe — by television, movies, tabloids — that success comes upon us one day like a fairy godmother waving her wand and washing our lives with pixie dust. And so we wait and we wish for that magic moment to arrive: If only we had enough money to get started. If only Seth Godin would write about us. If only we could get on Oprah.

To accomplish any dream, you WILL need help along the way. But you have to do a hell of a lot of investing in order to make that “big break” produce fruit.

But realizing that some flying fat lady with a wand isn’t going to swoop in and grant you success is actually good news. Instead of waiting for the stars to align and the time to be right, you can get busy investing.

The timing is never just right. The conditions are never perfect. The starting is never easy.

Get over it.

Now go. Do something amazing.

[This article was originally published over at Dumb Little Man. There are some great insights to be found in the comments over there as well.]

Once upon a time, there was a little girl. With her birthday just days away, her parents announced that as part of her gift, she could pick any restaurant she wanted to go to for dinner. She debated and deliberated. She hemmed and hawed. She asked her mom where shethought she should go. She asked her dad, too, but neither offered an answer. It was up to her, they said.

The little girl really wanted to go to Luigi’s, the pizza parlor downtown. She quite fancied the old brick walls and the smell of the wood burning stove. And watching the thick-forearmed men shape the dough and toss it into the air was a show in itself.

But then she thought of the longer drive. Money was tight, and she figured her parents wouldn’t be too happy about having to spend extra money for gas and pizza that was more expensive than the other place just down the street (which wasn’t nearly as good.) She also knew that her dad was in the middle of a big project at work, and he might appreciate a shorter meal so he could get some extra stuff done before bed.

Her birthday finally arrived, and she announced to her parents that she had decided to go to McDonald’s. So that’s where they went. The fries were a little soggy and the Happy Meal toy wasn’t very exciting, but it was nearby. And cheap. And fast.

The little girl was somewhat disappointed on the drive home, but appreciative of the time spent with her family and the rare chance to go out to eat. Her heart sank however, when her dad said, “That was a pretty good meal, but I have to say I was pretty surprised you didn’t pick Luigi’s. When I got home from work after filling up the gas tank, I was sure we’d be having pizza tonight. Those guys making the pizza sure are fun to watch.”

Sometimes Christians have quite a struggle with the concept of free will. I’ve run across many people who believe that although it’s great in theory, life would be a lot easier if we had instructions detailing every move we should make. After all, it would make discerning God’s will so much simpler if he’d just tell us what to do already. We’re so worried about making the WRONG choice that we’d sometimes prefer if he’d just make EVERY choice.

That may make life easier, but it wouldn’t be anywhere near as rich, or fun…or free.

As we make our way though life, we are often faced with decisions. Which career to pursue. Which person to to marry. Where to live. What restaurant to visit. Now, all the really important stuff regarding making decisions is already in the Bible. It’s pretty clear that God’s not ok with any choices that are outside of the guidelines he’s already set forth.

In addition, God has given you gifts in the form of a special set of talents and passions. Things you’re good at. Things you enjoy. Things that interest you and excite you and fulfill you. Those are clues to follow as well.

And here’s the crazy weird part about free will: you actually get to make some choices on your own. All by yourself. You are not a robot that needs to be programmed before you can make each and every move. If you’re faced with a smorgasbord of possible solutions to a decision you’re trying to make, and if none of them go against the guidelines set forth in the Bible, it’s safe to say the choice is yours. That’s not to say you shouldn’t pray for guidance or seek the counsel of trusted allies, but don’t paralyze yourself overanalyzing which choice is more “right” than another.

Sometimes there is no one “right” choice. Sometimes there are MANY right choices.

Free will is a sign of how much God really loves us. He didn’t create you to be a mind-numbed robot, so he very often leaves decisions up to you (big ones, even). Sometimes, instead of revealing what he thinks you should do, he turns to you and says, “Where do YOU want to go?”

Sometimes he really is happiest with whatever decision makes YOU the happiest. It really is ok to pick the one that you want the most.

In other words, if you want to go to Luigi’s, go to Luigi’s.

[This article was originally published over at Catholicmom.com.]

Remember the “do-over” in childhood? Often applied to a “too close to call” play in a childhood game, do-overs were often used liberally by kids who hated to lose.

Lucy called for a do-over this morning. She woke up early and crabby (or as I like to call her, “sensitive.”) She was touch-and-go about everything. The day ahead was looking like it was going to be an inevitably rough series of battles. I decided to take her out with me to run a few quick errands, just to get her out and change the scenery. On the way home from our short adventures, I looked in my rearview mirror to find a cashed kid, hugging her favorite pal, Curious George. After transferring her into the crib, she ended up sleeping for another two hours.

To my delight, she woke up cheery, playful and ready for a fun rest of the day.

What a great use of the do-over!

As I thought about her ability to restart fresh after her nap, I thought, why don’t we bring the do-over back into our lives as grown-ups?! There seems to be plenty of opportunities. It just might be a playful way to help change the course of an Adultitis-ridden day. Here are a few examples of when calling a “do-over” will really work…

• You woke up late and ended up snapping at your spouse for something stupid, just because of the added stress of having to rush. Calling a do-over will give you the chance to start the interaction over — without the drama and attitude. It’s a new way to ask for the apology.
• Work is hectic. The piles are overwhelming and you’ve started to feel like there’s no end in sight. Call a do-over by taking a spontaneous break of some sort: go for a walk around the block, play a joke on a co-worker, eat lunch outside in the grass, or make a quick phone call to a friend who makes you smile. You’ll come back to your desk refreshed and refocused — guaranteed.
• You’ve been distracted lately when you’re with your kids. There’s so much on your mind and it’s hard to be in the moment with them. They require so much energy that you honestly just don’t have. Jump start your shift in perspective by taking 15 minutes of quiet time to yourself. Breathe deep and think about the people in your life who are struggling with health issues or a financial crisis. Count your blessings. Once you’re feeling revived, call a do-over by taking your kids on a pajama run.
• It’s been embarrassingly long since you and your sweetheart went out on a date. Schedules being busy, the weeks pass without much thought of it. Call a do-over by arranging for a sitter, making a dinner reservation and taking a stand against boring and/or dry relationships by adding a little goofiness to the evening. Announce the do-over during your meal and recommit to one another that busyness should not stand in the way of your relationship.

Those are just a few opportunities for the ever useful childhood staple known as the do-over; take advantage of one today!

I was talking to a friend the other day who works as a youth minister for a church. I asked him what the biggest issues the teens in his community are dealing with.

His answer came quickly.

“Drugs,” he said.

He detailed the overwhelming prevalence of prescription drugs, and went on to tell me stories about “Skittles parties,” in which everyone comes with an assortment of pills pilfered from medicine cabinets. They are thrown into a bowl, and each partygoer swallows a handful and “sees what happens.” Of course this creates a conundrum for EMTs, because if a kid overdoses or has a severe reaction, they have no idea how to proceed with treatment, since there’s no way to know what they ingested. “We’ve had some close calls,” said my friend.

Heroin and cocaine also have clawed their way into the lives of the teens my friend works with, but the prescription drugs are the easy entry vehicle. Packaged in medicine bottles and dispersed by physicians, they seem safer. Vicodin, for instance, is innocently offered as a way to fight the pain of a football injury. It doesn’t take long for a habit to form. The going rate for one pill is $25. All this in a small town community that looks more like a Rockwell painting than a crime-stained inner city neighborhood.

And the types of kids caught up in it are as varied as the drugs themselves. The stereotypical stoners partake, of course, but also athletes, A-students, and kids involved in the choir and school plays.

After hearing all this, I asked, “So, what do you think is causing all of this?”

“Busyness,” came his quick reply. “They’re overscheduled and overwhelmed. There’s just too much stuff. These kids are under enormous pressure to do well in sports, academics, you name it. We’ve had some pretty successful football teams the past few years and there’s a lot of community pressure to do well, and play at any cost. High schoolers are expected to be on the expensive and time-intensive traveling teams in order to even have a chance of playing on the varsity level. We even have a traveling soccer team for three-year-olds. The kids don’t have time to just be…kids.

“When I was a kid,” he continued, “I remember just hanging out with my friends. We’d ride our bikes to some woods nearby and spend the day exploring. Or we’d hang out at each other’s house, playing video games. We’d get into discussions. These days, kids don’t have the time to figure out who they are.”

His diagnosis struck me as tragically simple and sadly accurate. The childhood of his past resembled my own. I was involved in sports and did well in school. But my days weren’t packed with the relentless activity of today’s youth. I didn’t save my allowance for some pill but for a box of baseball cards in the hopes that I might unwrap an elusive Ken Griffey Jr. rookie card. Traveling teams were around, but reserved only for those who had a reasonable shot at playing semi-professional baseball; my summer days were spent playing home run derby with friends in the tennis court near my home.

The contrast between then and now disturbs me. Surely I am too young to feel like one of those old codgers regaling anyone who’d listen with stories that begin with “When I was your age…”

Right?

I mean, Ken Griffey Jr. is still an active major leaguer, for crying out loud!

My friend added one more observation. He noted that the kids who seem the most well-adjusted are the ones who spend time fishing and hunting. Naturally, I reasoned: Those are activities with built-in downtime. (More than anyone who enjoys them would like, I am sure.)

Blame can be spread far and wide, of course. Overfishing. Ineffective lures. Oh wait, let’s get back to the drug problem.

The fact is this: with an alarming rate, drugs are becoming the antidote of choice to a life suffocated by busyness. Far from a teenage problem, it’s impacting adults as well.

I find it interesting that almost everyone complains of busyness created by an overpacked schedule, but we treat it as a minor annoyance, resigned to the belief that there is nothing we can do about it.

We remain completely unaware that it is slowly and surely killing us.

So we finally have a problem that doesn’t require the allocation of more federal funds or the organization of an extension anti-drug program. All we need is the desire and the decision to… Simply. Do. Less.

The question is, do we have the will? Your answer is a matter of life and death.

Feeling trapped by busyness? Sign up to receive our weekly newsletter and you’ll get a free copy of the candid, no-nonsense 54-page ebook, “Busy is a Four-Letter Word.”

Sometimes I envy the people who don’t have televisions. I definitely respect them. Somedays I wish I could be just like them, especially when I listen to the song “Throw It All Away” by one of the best bands ever, Toad the Wet Sprocket:

burn your tv in your yard
and gather ’round it with your friends
and warm your hands upon the fire
and start again

But alas, I do have a TV. A nice one. With cable. Maybe I really don’t believe that TV is evil. Or maybe I’m just too weak to be television independent. Perhaps a little of both.

I do know this: TV is easy. Not only as a way to unwind, but as a way to get lost. According to a 2009 analysis by Nielsen, the average American watches approximately 153 hours of TV every month at home. That’s over 5 hours a day, or 35 hours a week. Again, that’s the average. That means some people are watching even MORE than that.

Here’s a guarantee: ask anyone how much TV they watch per week and it will always be less than the reality. Not because they’re lying, but because it’s so easy to lose track of time when you’re watching it.

It can be awfully hard to be mindful about how you consume mindless entertainment.

I watched about 6 hours of TV last week. I know, because I actually kept track. (Seinfeld and Parenthood have been recent regulars.) Most of it is watched on DVD or online with limited or no commercials. After a long day, sometimes that’s all Kim and I have the energy for. But I can’t help but wonder if I couldn’t have put at least a few of those hours to better use.

Provocative sales expert Jeffery Gitomer has been quoted as saying, “How much money did you make last year watching TV?”

I think that’s a pretty interesting question that cuts to the heart of the matter. Some people might chafe at the question, claiming that there’s more to life than making money. For those people, I’ll rephrase it.

How many people did you help last year watching TV?

Or how about this:

How did you make the world a better place by watching TV?

I’m not advocating that we all burn our TVs in the yard. But assuming you don’t watch anymore TV than the average American, what could you do with anywhere from 5 to 35 extra hours a week? Could you take some classes to make yourself more employable? Spend more time having a real conversation with your kid? Start that business? Write that novel? Compose a masterpiece? Learn how to cook? Read through the Bible? Volunteer to help your favorite charity?

Interesting questions worth wrestling with.

His parents got divorced when he was nine.

He didn’t do so hot in school.

And his middle school teacher told him that he’d never be successful.

Nice.

Everybody seems to have their own definition of success, but I’d be hard-pressed to find anyone to dispute that winning 14 Olympic gold medals is a pretty good indicator of success. Admirably, Michael Phelps didn’t use his teacher’s inaccurate opinion as an excuse to shrink back and settle for a life of mediocrity. Instead, he used the words as fuel to drive him, posting them in his locker so he’d see them before and after every practice.

Many similarly inspiring people have summoned the strength to rise above the pain and doubt resulting from abusive put-downs from parents, teachers, and friends to achieve great success.

The desire to prove someone wrong is very powerful indeed.

However.

It can also cloud our judgement lead us down a dark path.

A son of poor immigrants is ridiculed by classmates for wearing second-hand clothing. The hurtful comments propel him to graduate with honors from Harvard and achieve great financial success. But the memories of the sarcastic remarks make him fearful of ever being poor again, so he works long hours and says yes to every project that promises to pad his bottom line, at the expense of spending time with his wife and children.

A woman spends her whole life trying to prove to her deceased father that she has what is takes to be an excellent lawyer, when her skills and passion are better suited to running a bakery.

Insults from so-called friends lead an overweight guy to make some lifestyle changes in order to get down to a healthy weight. But the euphoria of success drives him to take extreme and dangerous measures to stay thin — no matter what the cost.

Who are YOU trying to prove wrong?

I suspect that every single one of us is motivated to some extent by the moments when we’ve been wronged or doubted. Like a thistle from a thorn bush, those words of discouragement sting when they’re delivered, and they can stick with us for a very long time.

The danger comes when we fail to step back to identify our motivation and examine how it has driven our actions. Pressing forward might lead us down a dead end road where the only prize is a rusty bucket of regret.

May you always rise above the haters who disregard the remarkable potential within you. They don’t see the full picture, and only you can determine how your story ends. But don’t let your desire to prove someone wrong rob you of your health, happiness, or true purpose in life.

It’s not worth it.

Learn more about bringing Jason in to your organization to help them turn stress into laughter, rejuvenate their passion, and achieve work life balance.

Is that true?

When I think of the concept of “more,” I sometimes imagine a slick, second-rate Elvis trying to sell me an extended warranty on electronic equipment. Or a pimply teenager offering to upgrade my fries to super-size for just a quarter. Their message: “More is definitely better.”

The other side of my noggin houses a sage old man who looks a lot like the guy who sold Gizmo to Peter’s dad in Gremlins. He hears the offers of the first two clowns and defiantly bellows, “More is not better.” Followed up by the Yoda-sounding, “Less is more.”

Is less really more? Or is it less? What’s really better, less or more?

The answer, of course, depends on what you’re talking about.

More money. More opportunity. More love. In these cases, more is better.

More debt. More clutter. More Gremlins that have eaten after midnight. Now we’re talking about more being much, MUCH worse.

Seems pretty straightforward. But the trick is that we can chase more of something without realizing what we’ll really end up with more of. Sometimes a quest for more of something we want leads to more of something else we don’t want.

Let me explain.

We might desire more money to provide for a more stable living for our family. Not a bad thing at all. But that quest for more money might require more hours worked, resulting in more stress, more health problems, more doctor bills. Ultimately, this all leads to less time spent with family. Another case where less is probably not more (depending on your family, of course.)

I know parents who want more opportunities for their children, eagerly signing them up for more activities that will make them more well-rounded and their record more appealing to more universities. Meanwhile, the kid grows more resentful, more stressed, spends more time away from home and is influenced by more people other than Mom and Dad.

Not so straightforward after all.

Sometimes more is better. Sometimes more is not. This balancing act is a tricky game and not a easy as I wish it was.

My only advice is that in your quest for more (whatever that is), take a few steps back to see if it might leave you with much less than you bargained for.

P.S. What do you think of the Gremlin art? One of my initiatives for this year is to create more custom art for my articles. I do have a degree in illustration, after all, so I figured I should put it to better use. I must say, painting Stripe was a real treat.

Like this article? Cool. Make sure you’re subscribing to our RSS feed so you won’t miss out on any future installments of similarly inspiring prose. And stuff.

It usually gets a pretty good reaction from the crowd, including laughs and giggles of both delight and disgust.

The video is a little misleading, however.

You see, Kim originally heard the idea of feeding giraffes in this particular way from a man we met at a gig. We discussed it in our hotel room and decided it was a splendid idea. But when we got to the zoo and stood face-to-face with the googley-eyed, hairy-chined, goofy-looking animals, we almost chickened out.

One reason we went through with it is because of you.

If you frequent this site, you probably have an image of me and Kim as champions of fun. It’s an image that has built up over the years, one which we have enthusiastically embraced. Now I like to think we’re pretty fun people, but we know a lot of people who are just as fun (and even moreso) than us. But the reason we embrace this image is because it’s a worthy goal. It’s a picture of the kind of people we really want to be.

I often think back on the best teachers I’ve ever had (including my parents). The thing they all had in common was that they held me to a higher standard. They didn’t let me settle for average. They had a vision for me which was higher than where I was at the time. Their belief and expectations encouraged and challenged me to become that person they knew I could become.

Being Jason of “Kim & Jason” is kind of like that. There’s a little pressure to be a happy-go-lucky, never-stressed, perfectly-balanced ball of fun. But I don’t mind it, because that’s the sort of person I want to become. (And some days, I even do a pretty good job of it.)

So Kim and I went through with the giraffe shenanigans largely because of peer pressure.

But the confession doesn’t end there.

The first few attempts in the video are admittedly a little lame, or at least more reserved than the latter ones. Once we got through the first few, we thought we were done filming. We did what we came there to do. We were proud that we went through with it and relieved that it was over.

Then we saw some kids doing it.

They took our idea and elevated it to a whole new level. They were much more daring. And they were having a lot more fun. After watching them for a few minutes, we knew our filming had just begun.

We bought more crackers, got a little bit more wild, and had a blast. The clips at the end of the video are the result, and they are what transform the movie from mildly amusing to magical.

There are two morals to this story.

First of all, we struggle with Adultitis just like you. Our mission is to publicly work on annihilating the Adultitis within is and the world around us, while sharing what works and encouraging you to do the same. We are as inspired by your efforts in the fight as we hope you are of ours. You help keep us accountable, and for that we are thankful.

Secondly, as the kids at the zoo demonstrated, children are the best teachers. They’re little guides with wisdom we often overlook. That’s why we call them sherpas. What we try to do is point out the genius of children and give you permission to be more like them.

So, if you’re ever in doubt about how life should really be lived, ignore us and go watch some kids.

Sign up to receive our free newsletter to get regular reminders and tips for stressing less and having more fun. Consider it a well-deserved jolt of happiness for your inbox.

Initially, I thought watching it made for pretty good birth control. Then Lucy came along and I began thanking my lucky stars that there weren’t five more of her in there. Now that I’m doing more of the grocery shopping, I am bombarded by the tabloids alerting me to the latest “scoop” on this couple now known by their famous first names. (Brangelina who?)

The season five premiere shattered TLC records, with about 10 million people tuning in to see what makes a train wreck look like a happy walk in a wading pool. It has followed the familiar arc of American celebrity: Someone rises up from obscurity to capture the hearts and minds of all the people only to be tarred and feathered (or worse) once we grow tired of them.

There is plenty of blame to go around for this monstrosity. Everybody is culpable, except the kids, who seem to always end up with the raw deal in these things.

Jon clearly wants to be done with the show. Kate clearly doesn’t. She has allowed cameras into her house for years, and now she’s complaining that there’s too much media attention. Both seem to favor the passive-aggressive mode of communication, which is widely known for its effectiveness. Not.

During one of the few times Jon and Kate were interviewed together, both claimed to be primarily concerned with doing what’s best for the kids, while conspicuously refraining from mentioning each other. It may come as news to them, but the best thing for the kids is for Mom and Dad to be together. And not in some charade in which they masquerade as “friends.” Kids are too smart for that.

I may be in the minority, but I don’t think all is lost for the Gosselin marriage. Surely there was a reason they fell in love, and I’d bet those reasons are still there — somewhere. But they need to start communicating, preferably off camera. If it were me, I’d kick out the cameras, say bye bye to TLC, spend a couple months in some undisclosed location, and rebuild my family.

The sticky part in this whole tale is the fact that the couple makes about $75,000 per episode. That’s a lot of scratch. And apparently reason enough to keep the circus going, rationalizing that it’s the only real choice, even amidst claims from their own relatives that the kids are being exploited.

So Jon and Kate themselves are the prime culprits in this mess, but I hold TLC responsible as well. I have no respect for the producers. It’s one thing to create a show around the curiosity of a family with eight kids — six of them being the same age. That’s interesting. But the minute you get a sense that a marriage and a family is in trouble, don’t you think it’s time to say, “You know what? I know this is great for ratings, but this is wrong for this family. Maybe we should take a break and let them sort things out.” Sadly, another example where money trumps human decency.

Meanwhile, I believe there is a special place in hell for paparazzi, aka “P-people.”

Get. A. Freaking. Life.

How do they sleep at night? What kind of sad, pathetic, slime ball loser do you have to be to sneak around photographing kids? If Jon and Kate weren’t famous, I’m pretty sure that might be against the law. I hear the job pays well, which apparently makes it all ok.

Then you have all of the tabloid magazines and TV shows that serve the gossip side of this stuff up like we’re in a high school cafeteria. This is the machine that keeps the paparazzi in business. Hosts with shiny hair and shinier teeth urgently present this “news” as if they’re doing us a service and making the world a better place. Get over yourselves. You were losers in high school and you’re losers now.

Finally, I can’t leave us off the list. That’s right, you and me. If we weren’t watching the show, it wouldn’t be on the air.

The only thing I can’t blame in this scenario — besides the kids — is money. I’m sure millions are crossing their arms, saying, “See, money is bad. It keeps causing all of these troubles.” They might try to prove their point by sharing the Bible passage that says, “Money is the root of all evil.”

Except that what it really says is, “The love of money is the root of all evil.”

Money is an innocent bystander; it’s people who are the problem.

Kim and I watched the show with great interest, because we’ve often talked about pitching a show to TLC or the Travel Channel. We’ve debated the pros and cons that would come with such an opportunity. Of course there’s the money, a bigger audience, and an opportunity to impact more people. The downside is the possibility of turning into the nightmare that Jon & Kate Plus 8 has now become. If the opportunity came along, we’d probably consider it, but examples like this would give us great hesitation. Everyone thinks they’d handle the situation better, but the slope is more slippery than any of us could imagine.

I guess what this all comes down to is choices and consequences. We always have a choice and our actions always have consequences. Jon & Kate had the choice whether or not to bring cameras into their home. That action led to some very good consequences (increased income, a wide variety of exciting experiences, and a platform to promote books), and some very bad ones (decreased privacy, media scrutiny, and a fissure in their marriage).

Right now, they might feel like their hands are tied. But even if they have 75,000 reasons to think otherwise, they still have a choice about what to do next. And the choices they make now will have consequences down the line. Inaction on their part could result in some real, unfixable problems later.

Don’t forget that whatever situation you may currently be in, you have a choice as well. It might be a difficult one, but it it a choice nonetheless. Don’t lose sight of the consequences that may occur as a result of your action.

Or inaction.

2.) God is awesome.
Seriously. Throughout this whole process, I have been consistently blown away by how well he designed everything. Like how the fetus develops from two microscopic cells into a living, breathing kid that hiccups and hears things and kicks Kim’s ribcage. As the pregnancy (and labor) unfolds, there are some serious biological changes that take place, automatically, all according to schedule. The people who have come to the conclusion that we’re all here by some sort of random cosmic accident will forever leave me scratching my head. My favorite element might be the oxytocin, which is a hormone naturally released in the mom and baby when breastfeeding, and causes them to fall in love. Which as our midwife humorously pointed out, comes in really handy at about the three month mark, for without it you’d be inclined to hand your baby to a complete stranger and say, “Here, you take it.” I am even impressed by God’s wisdom in having the pregnancy take about 9 months. I’ve found that it takes about that long to get your head on straight and the baby room set up.

3.) People are nicer during pregnancy.
It’s amazing how popular pregnant women are. If you go anywhere in public, blank stares are instantly replaced by smiling eyes and wide grins. People of all ages try to reach out and touch my wife’s belly, old ladies light up as if they were giddy sixteen-year-olds, and hardened Harley dudes transform into Mr. Rogers. I’ve often felt like I was traveling with a celebrity.

4.) They also become pundits.
As soon as someone hears or sees that you or your wife is pregnant, unsolicited advice comes at you as if shot from a double-barreled shotgun. Most of it comes with the assumption that your situation is just like theirs and any refusal to follow their advice to the letter is sheer foolishness. It must be what it feels like to be an NFL head coach listening to sports talk radio for advice on game-planning for next week’s matchup. Yes, it is well-intentioned, but it is also getting old. At least I’ve been able to perfect my polite smile and nod.

5.) If a pregnant woman drops something on the ground, she may as well have dropped it in the Grand Canyon.
‘Cause it’s gone, never to be seen again. (Unless a loving husband or smiling Harley dude is around to pick it up.)

6.) We over-complicate things in the guise of making them simpler.
This could be primarily a Western culture thing. Maybe we underestimate just how well God designed this human reproduction process, or maybe we just can’t leave well enough alone (probably a little of both), but we sure do a lot of tinkering. We’ve got drugs to make the labor start sooner and drugs to ease the pain caused by the intended effect of that first drug. If the water doesn’t break when we think it should, we’ll just do it ourselves. And if the labor is still taking too long — or at least longer than we think it should — we’ve always got the C-section to fall back on. (Which requires it’s own cadre of tools and drugs and special doctors.) By the end of 2008, the Caesarean birth rate in America will be approaching 35 percent (with some hospitals over the 50% rate.) With mortality rates six times higher for mothers who have c-sections, what’s up with that? Some things to consider: 1) Our microwave, fast food culture is notoriously lacking in the patience department, and 2) Hospitals make way more money on c-sections than on a regular delivery. (I’m not saying, I’m just saying.)

7.) The baby is closer than it appears.
I find it humorous how many times Kim and I have talked about our little child as if he or she is off in some mysterious faraway Neverland, eagerly awaiting a grand entrance, when in reality, has always been mere inches away the whole time, separated only by a thin wall of skin and tissue. Perhaps this is further commentary on my education via television.

8.) If you have Adultitis, it’s your fault.
This doesn’t surprise me, but it has been interesting to see it from a parenting perspective. The wide range of commentary we’ve heard on the vocation of parenthood has been stunning. Some people have been extremely positive while others point out the negative aspects of the job. (Particularly the pooping, peeing, and not sleeping parts…as well as the remarkably detailed parts about my life being over.) I’ve literally had some people tell me that kids are the cause of Adultitis, while others claim they are the cure. Statements like that tell me more about the person than parenthood. Like everything in life, it’s all about your attitude. Life has ups and downs and many opportunities to succumb to Adultitis, but ultimately, the choice of whether or not to let it take over is yours alone.

9.) My wife is also awesome.
Maybe not as awesome as God, but still quite remarkable in her own right. My respect for her has increased tenfold over the last nine months (and I didn’t think that was possible.) Kim has embraced this last nine months like a child would, with unbridled excitement and curiosity. And she has kept a sense of humor about all of the icky stuff and inconveniences that come with pregnancy, like her inability to tie her own shoes.

Kim asked me last night if I would ever like to be pregnant.

I said no.

I don’t think I could ever do it as well as her.

You know how some people become so frustrated by the antics of their crying baby that they resort to shaking them violently?

Sometimes, when I’m speaking, I want to do that with audience members.

The other night, Kim and I were in North Dakota for a program. A young high-schooler and his mother were in the audience, seated about halfway back. The kid had a cell phone and he spent the entire program texting friends.

Well, almost the entire program. You see, there’s one point of my program where I share some Adultitis warning signs. I say, “You might have Adultitis if you’ve gotten to the point where your cell phone has become a body part.” Then I show a slide of a guy with a cell phone taped to his head.

The mom nudged the boy, who looked up, shared a brief laugh with her, and promptly went back to his texting.

That my friends, is what we call irony.

Something that drives me crazy (and I’m sure anyone who is passionate about helping people improve their lives) is when someone you’re talking to doesn’t think you’re actually talking about them. Of course, I realize that I can’t make anyone change. They have to do it themselves. But sometimes I wonder if I’m even getting through.

Sometimes I want to go up to people in my audience, shake them, and say, “Hey! I’m talking about YOU!!!”

To which, they’d probably reply, “I get your point, but you don’t understand. My situation is different.”

Of course, the world would be infinitely better if everyone did what we told them to do, right? Every professional speaker thinks that way, or at least they should. That’s what helps fuel their passion to help make a difference.

But the truth is, we all think our situation is different. Every last one of us.

We think, People should learn to budget their money better. People need to take a look at their priorities. People should do a better job of raising their kids. But us? The person we see in the mirror? Don’t even go there. After all, our situation is different.

Our situation is the exception to the rule.

Nice try.

That’s such an easy cop out. And we all use it. It puts up an invisible force field that prevents any criticism from being hurled in our direction. Any helpful advice is immediately deflected because our situation does not apply.

The sad part is that when we embrace that attitude, we miss out on wonderful opportunities to improve our lives. Our relationships. Our careers. Ourselves.

Don’t be so prideful to think that your situation is so much different than everybody else’s. Nobody’s perfect. We all have lots to learn. There is a nugget of gold in every piece of advice. The key is to lower our force fields, take the advice that comes our way with a grain of salt, and figure out how to apply it to our unique situation. Ask yourself, “Where is the truth in this? How can I apply that truth to my life?”

Meanwhile, as you read this blog, encountering the bits of advice here and there, know this:

YES! I’m talking about YOU!

In 2005 karma was given a primetime slot, starring as the central plot point on My Name is Earl. Whether you call it karma or not, most people believe that “what goes around comes around.” Another way to look at it is the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

When you’re a kid and you have a fight with a friend those two simple words can turn everything around- I’m sorry. Sometime your mom makes you say them, and sometimes you just know you need to, but regardless they serve as the super glue needed to piece the friendship back together again.

Almost everyone has “something” that needs fixing. Pick up that phone today. Send that email. Mail that card. Even if it doesn’t fix everything, it’ll be less for you to carry around tomorrow. Those two words might be difficult to say, but you’ll never regret saying them.

Share with us your Instant Karma moment in the comments on the Escape Plan Blog.

If you need some inspiration, just watch an episode of Earl…

“Remember to say your please and thank yous.”

“Wash your hands.”

“You could have called.”

“Stop picking your nose.”

Challenge #11 of the Escape Plan is You’re Not The Boss of Me: Do something your parents would never let you as a child. Most parents want the best for their kids, and the rules they pass down to us reflect the culmination of best judgments based on their life experience. They’re designed to keep us safe, help us be successful, and prevent us from looking like a total buffoon. (Especially the nose-picking advice.)

But sometimes they’re wrong. Sometimes the advice they’ve passed along is broken or misguided. Sometimes Mom was just repeating the stuff her mom said. And sometimes it becomes a crutch, keeping us from achieving our full potential.

“What do you think, money grows on trees?”
(This conditions us to think that money is scarce.)

“Are you going out dressed like that?”
(This conditions us to seek the approval of others.)

“If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all.”
(This conditions us to keep the truth silent if we think it might offend someone.)

“Children should be seen and not heard.”
(This is a despicable statement uttered only by people with full-blown cases of Adultitis.)

The rules our moms gave us as children impact us our entire lives. The people who make a difference in the world — you know, the ones written up in history books — became comfortable with the idea of breaking the rules. It’s easy to rebel against the rules put forth by some faceless government, school board, or religious institution. What’s hard is breaking the rules ingrained in us by our parents.

But sometimes, in order to become all that God created you to be, you have to ignore what mom said and go your own way. Just don’t pick your nose while you do it. (At least in public.)

P.S. The photo above just so happens to be the son of Ree, aka Pioneer Woman. Check out her blog if you get a chance. It’s fabulous. 

This video gives the rundown of Star Wars Episode IV from the perspective of a 3-year-old. One important life lesson: don’t be like the shiny guy. The shiny guy always worries. Even 3-year-olds know that worrying is a stupid waste of time. Proof yet again that kids are experts at spotting Adultitis.

P.S. Anybody know where I can get me one of those “little light-up swords?”

[Hat tip to Marilyn S. for the link to the video]

Ah yes… the honesty of children. They tell it like it is.

As a junior in college majoring in Early Childhood Education I worked part-time at a preschool on campus in a four-year-old room. In high school and college I battled some issues with acne. (Fun times.) Of course make-up helped but there were days that turned into weeks that were worse than others. On one such day during playtime a little girl spent way too long trying to convince me that I had to go home because I had chickenpox on my face. Her brother had the chickenpox and she knew all about it. She was very convincing.

Childhood honesty is refreshing to me.

Looking down the barrel of nine more months of political wrestling, with smear strategies and skeletons to divulge and exaggerate, I long for an honest candidate that will not just tell us what we all want to hear. At every turn there’s talk of the major league baseball steroid scandal. I yearn for a simple t-ball game where everyone is there because they want to play and have fun. As new corporate scandals surface everyday, it makes me smile to recall the days when the majority of your financial decisions surrounded how heavy your piggy bank was.

With President’s Day this week I can’t help but remember Honest Abe and the integrity that was once such a foundational measure of character.

Can grown-ups get back this childlike honesty?

I was suffering from Sunday Night Dread.

On Friday afternoon, the future unfolded before me with endless possibility. The freedom was intoxicating and the sky was the limit. On Saturday, I knew the clock was ticking, but took comfort in the fact that I still had a whole day left in the bank. But there was no escaping Sunday Night Dread, with its whispers of Monday growing ever louder as the day wore on.

The most treacherous Sunday Night Dread of all came on the last day of summer vacation. Then Sunday Night Dread spilled into an entire week!

I used to believe that Sunday Night Dread was a condition that only affected school children. A graduation from formal education taught me otherwise. I discovered that a vast majority of adults also suffered from Sunday Night Dread, complete with the anxiety of another week of early mornings, boring meetings, bad lunches, stupid bosses, and unexciting work. It is so widespread that a restaurant chain has achieved great success by embracing a theme – Thank God It’s Friday – which is the antithesis of Sunday Night Dread.

Once I got married and started full force into my career as a freelance illustrator and designer (which evolved into what I do today), I have never really suffered from Sunday Night Dread. I was finally doing what I loved and actually looked forward to Mondays.

Sunday Night Dread is still a major factor for most people. But it doesn’t need to be.

On his show, The Big Idea, Donny Deutsch interviews people who are doing what they love and in many cases, have made millions doing it. During one episode, he made this statement: “If Sunday night feels different than Friday night, you’re doing something wrong.”

Re-read that sentence again, and let it sink in.

If you’re on the right path, Friday should feel no different than Sunday or Tuesday or any other day of the week. You should have a passion for your work that doesn’t shut off when it’s time to go home. It should keep you up at night (in a good, excited-to-get-going-the-next-day sort of way.)

If you aren’t thrilled with your job and are experiencing Sunday Night Dread, you probably fall into one of two camps. Either you know exactly what you’d rather be doing (and, for a variety of reasons, stay put), or you have no idea what you’d rather be doing. Whole books have been written about what to do if you’re in either camp, but let me offer a few simple steps to get you started.

Scenario #1: I know what I’d rather be doing, but I can’t do that!
If you’re sticking in a career that fosters Sunday Night Dread even though you have a bigger dream deep inside, you have at least one obstacle in your path, and that obstacle is called fear. You may say, “That’s not true; I just can’t afford to lose the great benefits that come with this job.”

Really? The truth is that you’re afraid that you might get sick and go bankrupt if you give up those almighty benefits. I can’t get into every potential roadblock you’re dealing with, but if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll notice that it usually boils down to fear.

Combat this fear by spending time thinking about what you might lose if you don’t make the leap. Imagine life down the road a decade or two – what will those regrets feel like tomorrow if you don’t go for it today? And what could you gain if you do? A little perspective like that is a great catalyst to remind you that even though it might be painful or scary to act now, it can never match the pain of regret if you don’t even try.

Scenario #2: I’m not crazy about my job, but I’m not sure what else to do.
If you suffer from Sunday Night Dread, but have no idea what you’d rather be doing, you’re a rare individual. I bet you really DO know what you want to do, but have given fear such an upper hand that you won’t allow yourself to consider alternative possibilities.

Awareness if the first step. The sheer act of acknowledging Sunday Night Dread will eliminate a blockage and open your mind to new opportunities. Pay attention to the things about your job you actually like. Or the passions and pastimes you can’t wait to work on when you get home. These clues can help lead you to a life lacking Sunday Night Dread.

No matter what camp you’re in, it’s important to know that if your Friday night feels different than your Sunday night, you’re doing something wrong. You were not designed to toil away with your talents and passions rotting away on the sideline. Take that first step in eliminating Sunday Night Dread from your life today!

• He dreamed BIG. REALLY big!
• He was curious (and brave) enough ask some of the hardest questions ever asked. Why? Why not? What if?
• He was honest, speaking the truth that was in his heart, even when others weren’t open to what he had to say.
• Few men have walked this earth with more passion than Martin Luther King, Jr.
• Last, but not least, his childlike faith and courage lead him to a position of leadership that ultimately cost him his life.

Here’s a short clip of his last speech, a day before his assassination. Most notable to me is his childlike faith. He’s not in denial about the difficult times ahead, yet he is not worried. He has no fear, for he knows what’s truly important.

Is there anything more childlike than that?