Keyword: smile

  • LOLigator

    “LOLigator” by Jason Kotecki. 30 x 24. Oil on canvas.
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    An alligator can live up to 100 years…

    which is why there’s an increased chance they will see you later.

    One of the midwives who helped Kim on her journey into motherhood had experience working with the Navajo people. She told us about a custom of theirs in which the first person to make a newborn laugh is obligated to throw the family a huge party to celebrate the occasion. According to their tradition, it’s considered the moment in which the baby is fully present and “in the world.”

    I think that’s pretty cool.

    You often see people rejoicing over a baby’s first words, first steps, and first day of school, but never have I heard a big deal made out of a baby’s first laugh. At least not enough to warrant a party to be thrown because of it.

    It’s a striking example of how little we value laughter in our society.

    What’s weird is that laughter is a universally loved activity, and yet, adulthood often finds us treating it as a non-renewable resource, something to be reserved for when our work is done. We leave it out of serious and challenging situations, and grow suspicious of people who do too much of it.

    Which brings me to alligators.

    I don’t know about you, but when I see an alligator, I don’t think, “Here’s a guy who must be the life of every party.” He’s not on my Top 10 list of Animals Who Don’t Take Themselves Too Seriously.

    And yet, when he opens his mouth, it looks like he just heard a good joke.

    Which gives me hope, because I encounter a lot of people walking around with the sunny disposition of an alligator these days. 

    We can all agree that laughter is beneficial. It boosts the immune system (why they say laughter is the best medicine), brings you more energy, lowers levels of pain, and protects you from the dreaded Adultitis. Of course, as we get older and are inundated with Adultitis, laughs can be hard to come by. 

    The good news is that you can literally fake it till you make it. 

    Believe it or not, fake laughter offers the same benefits as real the kind. Certified life coach Katie West says, “Pretending to laugh (or practicing laughter) can alter our body chemistry since our brains can not tell the difference between real and fake laughter.”

    I have experienced a group of people fake laughing, and I can tell you, the vibe shift is real. And when people are practicing fake laughs, real ones bubble up like clockwork.

    Likewise, we can generate more laughter by being intentional about injecting some fun into our routine:

    • Read the funny pages over breakfast.
    • Listen to comedy podcasts on your commute.
    • Get a joke-a-day calendar for your desk.
    • Turn your inanimate objects into Adultitis Booby Traps.
    • Hang out with funny people.
    • Attend an improv show.
    • Read or watch something funny before bed. (At the very least, stop watching the Crisis News Network!)

    Stress continues to be a contributing factor to every single thing that kills us, from heart disease to suicide. Yet the standard operating procedure these days is to trudge through life with furrowed brows and steely determination. But now, more than ever, we should take a cue from the Navajo people and celebrate laughter.

    Every single laugh is a dollar in the economy of the human spirit.

    I get that we live in serious and challenging times, but that doesn’t require us to take ourselves seriously.

    St. Teresa of Ávila, a Spanish mystic and great reformer, once said, “May God protect me from gloomy saints.” 

    One of the greatest things ever is hearing my kids laugh. Whether it’s a silly little giggle or an unbridled belly laugh, there’s no better sound in the world.

    I imagine that God probably feels the same way about his children.

    When we laugh, we are happy and free. During that moment of laughter, we are not worried, anxious, or stressed. And so it must give God great joy to see his children buckled over in laughter, just as it does me with my kids.

    And reminds me just how much Adultitis must hate it.

    All the more reason to make laughter a priority.

    As Charlie Chaplin, one of the world’s greatest Adultitis fighters and a patron saint of comedy, once said, “A day without laughter is a day wasted.”

  • Pretty Darn Great

    “Pretty Darn Great” by Jason Kotecki. 40 x 60. Oil on canvas.
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    This shark is awesome. You can tell how awesome he is by his gold teeth. Obviously, the male sharks want to be him, and all the ladies want to be with him. The fact that he is a success is a foregone conclusion to everyone.

    The joke is on the shark, though, because these teeth are not long for this world. You see, sharks continually shed their teeth (some shedding approximately 35,000 teeth in a lifetime!) That’s a lot of lost bling. What a shame!

    The tragedy is that gold grill or no, he already was great. He just didn’t believe it.

    I don’t know about you, but I make this mistake all the time.

    I chase after shiny objects that don’t last to prove my worth, even though deep down I don’t always feel so worthy.

    When I was in seventh grade, I would have given anything for a pair of Air Jordans. I didn’t feel cool, but I was certain these shoes would make up for it. I never got them. It’s just as well, I guess, because they wouldn’t have fit me a year later. 

    Back at the turn of the century, Apple came out with the iBook. The lime green one was awesome. I printed out a picture and put it on my vision board, imagining that my possession of it would make me hip and trendy. Never got it. Of course, if I still had it today, it would be little more than a decorative doorstep. 

    I have dreams of owning a Porsche 911 convertible someday. I think they are beautiful cars, and I love driving convertibles (my dad used to have one). But can I be honest? Sometimes I wonder if the real reason I want it is to have something to show everyone how great and successful I am.

    Now, my faith teaches me that I am wonderfully made in the image of my creator. Frankly, it’s a little hard to believe, most days. After all, I wear bifocals now. My hair is thinning. I eat lots of gluten. 

    Interestingly, my perspective changes when I think about my own kids. Are they perfect? Hells no. (They take after their old man after all). But they are great. It’s not hard at all for me to see their amazing qualities. And the kind of shoes they’re wearing has nothing to do with it. 

    Why is it so easy to see the positive traits of others and so hard to see them in ourselves?

    There are people out there who are a little too big for their britches. But even in those cases, once you collect a certain amount of wisdom, you realize that all the bombast and overconfidence are merely masking their own unworthiness.

    Indeed, most of us are overwhelmed by our flaws and sell ourselves short. We believe the TV and magazine ads that tell us we need to fix this, tuck that, and acquire the new gizmo to feel complete. I don’t know if you can relate, but I often feel suffocated by thoughts that I’m not enough. Not smart enough. Not talented enough. Not brave enough. Each one is like a weed, crowding out the truth. 

    The good thing about this feeling of “not enough” is that it helps us make room for God. His power is made perfect in our weakness. He picks up the slack and nullifies our deficiencies. We are truly in danger when we think we can do this thing called life alone. 

    You and I, we are already great. And not in some lame, everybody-gets-a-participation-trophy way.

    First, some perspective. Do you know the odds of you even being here? Dr. Ali Binazir crunched the numbers, and when you factor in the probability of your dad meeting your mom…

    …and that they stayed together long enough to have kids…

    …and the fact that one of the 100,000 eggs your mom produces in her lifetime…

    …met the one of the 4 trillion sperm your dad made during the years you could have been born…

    …there is a 1 in 400,000,000,000,000,000 (1 in 400 quadrillion chance) of you being alive.

    The chance of you being attacked and killed by a shark is about 1 in 4,000,000.

    Statistically speaking, you are a miracle. Having beaten odds like that suggests there is a reason you are here. And indeed, there is. You have something to offer that the world needs.

    You see, the real reason for your greatness is that you were purposefully and wonderfully made by a loving God. Within you – amidst any so-called flaws you dwell on – is a spark of something divine. That, my friend, makes you priceless.

    “When I was a child my parents loved me not because I was good but because I was Madeleine, their child. I loved them, and I wanted to please them, but their love of me did not have to be earned. Neither does the love of God. We are loved because we are his children, because we are.”

    – Madeleine L’Engle

    You don’t have to keep trying to prove yourself. You can just be. 

    You may not be perfect, but you are already great.

    Gold teeth or no.

  • Shine On

    “Shine On” by Jason Kotecki. 30 x 20. Oil on canvas.
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    After months of anticipation about our family’s first trip to Mexico and an escape from the Wisconsin winter, the weather report turned foreboding. All eight days were calling for rain. Kim and I were crushed. Our family had finally recovered from a three-week battle with the flu over the holidays, and we were looking forward to the time away to recharge in the sun and surf. Kim was especially fretful about the forecast of rain, incessantly checking the weather app on her phone.

    On the plane, I read a section in a devotional about God being a “living God.” That struck me. I grew up thinking of God as some far-off historical figure who did a lot of neat things in olden times, forgetting that He lives in the present tense, active in the here and now. 

    In that moment, I felt totally at peace. Did I expect God to alter a weather system on account of li’l old us? To be honest, I guess I hoped He would, but more than that, I knew that the only way to really ruin the vacation was to spend all our time worried and anxious over the weather report. Even if it rained the whole trip, we would still have an opportunity to be together and to rest, away from the hustle and bustle of our daily lives.

    We did pray for sunshine, but we also prayed for peace to melt away our fears, and for the perspective to make the best of whatever each day would bring.

    No one knows with certainty what next year, next week, or even what tomorrow will bring. (Not me, not you, and certainly not weather forecasters!) But too often in life, we allow doubt and anxiety to dominate our perspective, and we live out our fears in advance. I knew that God knew how big of a deal this trip was to us, and He would give us what we needed from it, even if it didn’t look exactly how we imagined it.

    So here’s what happened. Every single evening, the weather app on our phones indicated storms for the next day. And every single day, we woke up to sunny skies, while the thundercloud icon had vanished. The only rain we experienced was about a half-hour’s worth on our last day, and it came as a welcome relief during a hot walk at the Tulum ruins.

    The abundant sunshine became a symbol to us of God’s goodness. As the trip was coming to an end, we searched for a sunshine-themed souvenir to bring home with us, something to remind ourselves of what felt like a mini-miracle and God’s active presence in our lives. We never did find anything just right.

    We arrived home at about midnight. Our youngest child was asleep as we pulled into our driveway. A few police officers were canvassing the street with flashlights, clearly looking for something. We didn’t think much of it, figuring the neighbor kid was in trouble again.

    As our tired bodies, carrying overfilled suitcases, stumbled into the house, our oldest daughter said, “Hey, what’s that on the ceiling?” I looked up and saw a gash in the drywall. The directional groove led my eye to the window, which had a bullet hole in it.

    A bullet hole. 

    “Kim,” I said, “Hurry and go tell the cops that we have a bullet hole in our window!”

    The rest of the evening was a blur. We found small bits of glass all over the carpet and on the piano across the room. The officers pulled a bullet fragment from the ceiling, but it was too mangled to be of any use. They had very little information for us, except for the reports from neighbors, who had heard multiple gunshots and a speeding car with a bad muffler. At first, I was annoyed that I had to postpone the date with my bed to deal with this after having had an awesome vacation, but eventually, it hit me. “Wait. What if we had been home? This could have hit one of my kids.” 

    The mood quickly turned from annoyance to anger and fear.  

    None of us got much sleep that night. (Except Ginny, who was already asleep and would ask about that taped-up cardboard patch on our window two whole days later.) 

    The next morning, our six-year-old son, Ben, brought a bullet to Kim that he found in the hallway. “Momma, what’s this?” he asked. 

    Another call to the police. 

    The next few weeks were a blur of logistics and emotion. Assurances from the police that our neighborhood was historically among the safest in the city didn’t seem to help. Calls to the insurance company and various vendors about replacing the window and fixing the damaged ceiling were interspersed with the feeling of being violated and wondering if we were still in danger. I’d never seen my wife cry so much in all of our eighteen years of marriage. 

    We heard stories from neighbors who’d been home. Three young girls next door were in the front room watching TV when the shooting happened. An elderly neighbor across the street told us the gunshots were so loud that she thought her house was the one under attack. A young mother in the home next to hers was nursing her two-month-old in her front room. She hit the deck when the shots rang out. Everyone was shaken. For days, we saw cars slow down in front of our house to gawk at the scene of the crime.  

    Eventually, amidst the haze of fear and confusion, we began to notice where God had been working in the situation.

    We realized that our house was the only one on the whole block that was empty when the shooting occurred. We figured out that it wouldn’t have been had we not been held up in Minneapolis so our plane could be de-iced. We felt His presence in the neighborhood meeting that was organized two days after the incident. Over fifty people crammed into a basement owned by a former police officer, bonding together to comfort one another and talk about practical ways to protect our neighborhood. It was neat to see connections get made and friendships deepen.

    Finally, Kim and I got to a place where we could ask, “What does this terrible event make possible?”

    Years earlier, we had stayed in a vacation home in Santa Barbara that featured some stained-glass windows. We’d always been smitten by their charm, so we wondered if we could replace the broken front window in our living room with a stained-glass work of art. The fact that the window in question was a decorative half-circle above the normal windows made it a perfect candidate. Maybe I could even design it. And maybe it would give hope to the rest of the neighborhood. We knew immediately what the design had to be.

    A sun.

    We got connected with Rick Findora, who just so happened to be the guy who did the stained glass windows at our church, and I gave him a sketch.

    We got our sunshine souvenir after all—after we returned home, and in a form we never anticipated. It now serves as a beacon of hope to the entire neighborhood.

    We live in a dark world, where tragedy and pain are all too common. Sometimes vacations do get rained out. Sometimes bullets don’t miss. But I believe this: God is a living God. He gives us small signs—signs that don’t seem like much in the grand scheme of things—just to let us know He is there. I think the reason He does this is so that when the bad things happen, we’ll remember that He is still there, ready to bring good things out of terrible circumstances. He gives us the sunny days to recharge us, to fill our reserves with hope that lights the way during the dark times, reminding us that the sun will shine again.

    It’s worth remembering that even on the darkest, cloudiest days, the sun doesn’t disappear. It’s still there; it’s just hidden. The people who see silver linings are the ones who look for them. If you are in a dark season right now, keep looking for the light. It’s coming.

    Finally, I believe we are called to be a light for others. We do this by sharing our gifts and by being kind. When it comes to people who disagree with us, instead of calling them names, we can call them up for coffee. The smallest things can make the biggest difference. Our happiness increases when we help others, shining our own lights outward.

    In the battle between light and darkness, the darkness doesn’t stand a chance.

    Shine on.
  • In This Kitchen We Dance

    “In This Kitchen We Dance” by Jason Kotecki. 20 x 20. Oil on canvas.
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    I painted this for my wife’s 40th birthday. It’s one of her favorite quotes, and it perfectly captures the spirit that fills our kitchen.

    As kids, we danced all the time. We danced when we were excited. We danced when we were happy. We even danced when we were bored. Why did we ever stop?

    Maybe we started worrying about looking foolish.

    Maybe we’ve discovered that the world isn’t as carefree as we thought it was. 

    Maybe we are afraid of pulling something.

    The kitchen often serves as the primary gathering place in a home. From time to time, our kitchen hosts spontaneous dance parties. If a favorite song comes on, we crank the volume, and our family of five casts our cares to the wind and shakes our booties to the music. Mind you, these dance parties are mostly devoid of any talent (although my son Ben has some sweet moves), but they are always bursting with joy and enthusiasm.

    You see, kitchen dancing doesn’t require sweet moves.

    It does require you to move, however. Even a little booty shake can make your body feel better.

    It also requires the willingness to be vulnerable by looking a little silly, which is one of the most intimate ways to bond with another person.

    And it requires the ability to take oneself lightly, which helps lighten the heavy loads that weigh us down.

    That’s why, in our kitchen, we dance.

    Do you in yours?