Author: Jason

Kim and I attended our first homeschooling conference this past weekend. With a December birthday, Lucy wouldn’t be entering kindergarten for another year and a half, but we wanted to get more information about this life-changing decision we’d been considering. To be honest, we each felt a little uncertain and overwhelmed at the prospect of going all-in.

Although homeschooling is quickly growing in popularity (about 2 million kids aged 5-17 are homeschooled in the U.S., twice as many as in 1999), it’s still not the norm. There’s a lot of misinformation out here, and many people still think that homeschooled kids are socially awkward recluses, and unable to compete academically with their public school counterparts. The truth is that most homeschooled kids are extremely self-confident, well-adjusted, and academically bright, often scoring better on standardized tests than their public-schooled peers. In fact, many colleges are creating special scholarships just for homeschooled kids because they are such an asset to the school.

And yet, homeschooling still raises eyebrows.

Meanwhile, I do a lot of speaking in the education market, and it feels sort of strange to speak to public school teachers and then reveal that I actually homeschool my kids. But the truth is, it’s never been the teachers Kim and I have had a problem with (she was one herself for half a decade). They are some of the biggest-hearted, hardest-working people on the planet, in my opinion. Rather, it’s the system, the bureaucracy, and the one-size-fits-all approach that has caused us to consider homeschooling.

Now, we’re used to doing things differently from others. We call it opting out. It’s part of the whole escape adulthood thing, and we champion breaking rules that don’t exist. But still, everything we do is with mindful intention, not for shock value or for being different for different’s sake. Homeschooling is a viable option for the education of our children, an option that wasn’t as commonplace a generation ago. And so even though it’s nowhere near mainstream, we felt it was well worth considering.

Interestingly, I arrived early for a session about incorporating the kitchen into your curriculum, and I ended up chatting with the woman giving the workshop. I told her that since my daughter was not even five, we hadn’t yet started homeschooling, and she gently reminded me, “You’ve actually been homeschooling this whole time.”

So true.

One of the highlights was attending the graduation ceremony on Saturday. Six high school seniors were honored as they officially ended their homeschool education. Each gave a short speech, followed by an opportunity for the parents to say a few words. It was a moving occasion. As I sat there, I marveled at the poise and confidence these six young men and women displayed as they shared their experience and appreciation for having been homeschooled. I was awed at the respect and love they had for their parents. I was impressed by the things they’d been able to accomplish and the dreams they outlined for their future. Then I thought back to my own high school graduating class of 300 kids. I figured there would be fewer than 10 that could have been put in a similar situation and responded with as much grace and wit and wisdom. A vast majority of them would have been in Metallica t-shirts shouting something barely intelligible, like, “School sucks, I’m outta here!”

Time and again, I was blown away by the accomplishments proud parents shared about their homeschooled adult children. Master’s degrees from prestigious universities. Great jobs in the field of engineering, physics, and business. Volunteer and ministry experiences that made me feel like Ebeneezer Scrooge. Not only have they become successful, but they are among the best our society has to offer.

Kim and I gained a lot of perspective and ideas, but no one there ever pushed the “right way” to homeschool. We discovered that there really are as many ways to homeschool as there are homeschooling families. Everyone has a different personality, which is cool. I think the lack of judgment comes from having to constantly answer critics and fight for their rights as parents. The prevailing sentiment seems to be, “I don’t want anyone telling me what’s best for my family, so I won’t tell you what’s best for yours.” As someone who lives in a pretty politically charged state, it was cool to see a mix of families — conservative and liberal, Christian and non-religious, big families and one-child families — unified as one voice, eager to give support and share tips with one another. Just amazing.

Going into the weekend, my prayer was that if homeschooling wasn’t for us, we’d be willing to walk away. But if it was, I prayed for confidence and enthusiasm.

I come away with both in spades.

We now see that although homeschooling is not right for everyone, it is for us. We are excited about the freedom and possibilities before us. Yes, there is more responsibility that comes with this choice, but we have come to see that it is a choice that offers more fun, and, believe it or not, less stress.

In no particular order, here are some of our favorite things about homeschooling:

The Hope for a Brighter Future for Our Kids
We believe that for our children’s futures, success will require the ability to think creatively, easily adapt to change, and find answers on one’s own. Homeschooling excels at this. Regular school is broken, based on an outdated model born out of the Industrial Revolution. It’s also bogged down in bureaucracy and slow to change. Kim and I see homeschooling as our chance to BE the much-needed change for our kids, rather than hope and wait for things to get better.

Creativity and Control
We’ll have more control over what our kids learn than some politician, administrator, or school board. We can customize our kids’ education based on their specific needs and interests. Contrary to the way a normal school day flows, learning does not happen in clearly delineated blocks of time and topic areas (i.e., science THEN math THEN history). In reality, everything is connected! An interest in horses may involve science AND math AND history AND literature AND art AND music — all at once! Kim and I get to guide our children’s learning in a way that is relevant and meaningful to their lives.

Freedom to Grow
I love the idea of being able to give my kids freedom to follow their passions and pursue their interests fearlessly and confidently. Learning will happen at their own pace, not at the one-size-fits-all standard. They’ll be neither bored waiting for everyone else to catch up, nor left behind and at risk of being labeled slow or stupid. And there is no sound of a bell telling them that they have to be done with an activity they’re really into.

Freedom of Schedule
We are stoked at the prospect of being free from the standard school schedule, which will give us a more flexible daily and weekly schedule. It also means no painfully early mornings, no parent-teacher conferences, no homework at night, and no restrictions on when we take a vacation! In traditional schooling, there is a lot of wasted time on busywork and adminstrivia, so I appreciate the more efficient use of time in general.

Freedom of Place
Homeschooling can happen anywhere. You can do school inside at the kitchen table, outside in the grass, or in a fort made of couch cushions and blankets. And we can continue to be heavy travelers, learning on the road wherever we go.

More Family Time
This is huge: I get to see more of my kids as they grow up. The years go fast enough; I can’t imagine how much faster they’d go if they were somewhere else being taught by someone else. Plus, they get to spend more time with their siblings, creating closer relationships. Although it seems unthinkable for more time together to be a GOOD thing, the homeschooled siblings I’ve encountered all get along really well and actually enjoy being together. Who knew?

Socialization
Socialization is usually looked at the the main disadvantage of homeschooling. But we see it as one of the biggest advantages. First, in terms of time spent together, Kim and I are the primary role models, not their peers. It is OUR faith and values that will be the dominant force in their life. Secondly, my kids will be less peer dependent, making them less susceptible to negative peer pressure. But, contrary to popular belief, homeschoolers are not locked inside all day long, away from the outside world. Instead, they have the freedom to go on more field trips, do more volunteering, and gain more experience working with people of all ages, which is better training for the real world. And with a large homeschooling network in our community, our kids will be able to connect with good friends their own age, who aren’t concerned with what’s currently popular at school.

Lifelong Learning
The most exciting thing of all is the chance to cultivate curiosity and foster a lifelong love for learning in our children. Too many schools churn out unengaged, rule-following robots who think learning is boring. Consider these sad facts:

• 58% of the US adult population never reads another book after high school.
• 42% of college graduates never read another book.
• 80% of US families did not buy or read a book last year.
• 70% of US adults have not been in a bookstore in the last five years.

One workshop leader, when asked about whether or not his family takes summers off, replied, “Why would we take summers off from learning? We just keep on reading books and learning about stuff that excites us. When you make learning enjoyable, schooling IS the vacation.”

Wow.

I was also struck by another woman who said, “Our kids are all grown now, so now we get to homeschool ourselves.”

Double wow.

No doubt, homeschooling will be a challenge. But then again, all worthwhile things are. Kim and I are looking forward to sharing in the learning and doing new things WITH our kids, while taking advantage of the opportunity to turn everyday events into adventures!

You can be sure that we will share many of our adventures here. 🙂

* [ Update: The Downsides of Homeschooling? ] *

I was asked to share some of the downsides of homeschooling to help those who might be considering it themselves. While we’re still in the rookie stage of this whole thing, I am happy to share some of those that we are aware of and have even considered ourselves. I also apparently felt that this post wasn’t long enough as it was, so here goes:

Time. It would appear that one of the downsides of homeschooling is the extra time involved. Interestingly, it is not necessarily the amount of instruction time required, however. In fact, I heard one veteran assure a working mother that nights and weekends are sufficient for covering what’s necessary, because the education is so customized and you don’t have all the administrivia that comes when you’re managing 25 bodies. But make no mistake, there is a lot of thinking (and effort) involved, which takes a lot of time. There are many different curricula and approaches to consider, and every stage of your child’s life will bring new challenges to sort out. It’s interesting to keep in mind that no one else is going to put anywhere near this amount of time and consideration into my child’s educational journey. Kim and I think our kids are worth it, and we figure that if our kids went to a traditional school, we’d be spending a lot of time helping them with homework and getting them to and from school every day.

Money. Public school is free. Private school is not. Homeschooling seems to be somewhere in the middle. It’s true that some of the curricula can be expensive, but the best resource is the free public library, and there are many books and websites devoted to homeschooling on a shoestring budget.

Keeping Records and Jumping Through Hoops. Every state has different legislation and requirements regarding homeschooling, and some have some pretty stringent reporting policies, which can be a real pain. I can’t speak to all of them, but we discovered this weekend that Wisconsin is one of the most homeschool-friendly states around. For that, we are extremely grateful.

Missing Out on High School Sports and Things Like Prom. Many states require school attendance to participate in high school sports. That kind of stinks, especially since Kim played volleyball in high school and I played varsity baseball. However, some homeschool networks have their own leagues, and of course, there are public summer leagues available as well. We also heard that a lot of homeschoolers participate in sports that can be enjoyed throughout their entire lives, including activities like golf, karate, skiing, and rowing. On the topic of prom and other similar large social activities, yes, these are things that are hard to replicate in a homeschool setting. I think the loss of these experiences takes on more significance because most people don’t have a reference for the types of things homeschoolers get to experience that traditionally-schooled things don’t. Yes, our kids may miss out on some things that their peers enjoy, but we feel like the benefits they’ll receive will be far more valuable.

Having To Teach Things You’re Not That Good At. I scored well on my ACT, but these days, I barely remember algebra, let alone trigonometry! And how can I possibly teach chemistry as well as Mr. Navin, who has spent his whole life in the field? That was probably my biggest fear going into this weekend. Sure, I can get my kids up to speed through middle school, but after that, there could be some rough seas ahead. The thing I was relieved to discover is that Kim and I don’t have to be experts on all things to give them an outstanding education. Our job is to be more like a guidance counselor rather than a teacher. There are scores of resources out there, from textbooks to tutors to video series that will help them learn what they need to. Our job is to help our kids uncover their interests and point them in the direction of knowledge. I was assured that in high school (and even in middle school), homeschoolers know how to find their own information. You don’t teach them, you just guide them. And I was encouraged by stories like the one of a boy who went on to excel in physics, even though his parents both hated math. It would seem that we too often underestimate the insatiable desire of human beings to learn, particularly the things that interest them.

Less Interaction with People Their Own Age. As I mentioned above, I think this is actually a GOOD thing. But it is a false view of homeschooling to think that my kids won’t have any friends who aren’t siblings. The cry for socialization is the one thing that gets a homeschooling parent’s eyes to roll more than anything else. If public school is the supposed foolproof method for developing well-adjusted, properly “socialized” citizens, why does it churn out so many misaligned, anti-social individuals who contribute little to society and become a drain on the system? At the very least, it does not appear to be the cure-all it’s claimed to be.

Accountability. The results of your child’s education are all on you, for better or for worse. It’s obviously easier to put the blame on someone else if things go wrong, but with homeschooling, the buck stops here. I’d argue that most problems in our society point back to parenting, but these days, the bad parents have too many excuses at their disposal, and things only get worse. I, for one, relish the opportunity to call a spade a spade and value the freedom to do my job.

Fear. Of course, all this accountability often comes with a side dish of fear. Kim went to a workshop on handling doubts and was surprised to see experienced veterans in the session as well. Apparently, it’s pretty normal to frequently second-guess yourself, questioning whether you’re really doing the right thing or screwing your kids up beyond repair, especially in the face of outside opposition. I take it as a sign that you care, and I see it as a pretty normal feeling for parenthood in general, whether you homeschool or not. I was able to take a lot of solace in the stories from people who’ve turned out some pretty great kids amidst periodic doubt and uncertainty.

Dealing with Critics. Speaking of outside opposition, many people don’t understand homeschooling and some who work to undermine it. Sometimes, friends and family and complete strangers can be very rude and hurtful in their lack of support or outright hostility towards the very idea of it. By all accounts, much progress has been made in the last 20 years, but it can be tiring to always be defending your decision (and right) to do what you feel is best for your family.

Standing Out. Sort of a corollary to the last one. Homeschooling is not mainstream, although it’s becoming more popular every year. Some people will find that it’s more comfortable just blending in. But that’s not how we roll, especially when the stakes are this high.

In closing (I think), here is a fun little video by a homeschooler humorously debunking Seven Lies About Homeschoolers. Enjoy!

Even if you don’t celebrate Christmas, I’m sure you can conjure up an image of what Christmas cookies are “supposed” to look like. And although there are many different kinds of Christmas cookies, I’m guessing this is not the image that comes to mind first.

Believe it or not, these are, in fact, Christmas cookies. And they were not made by a four-year-old or a victim of the Great Kitchen Catastrophe of ’73.

The story of these so-called Ugly Cookies goes like this:

One year, a mother was overwhelmed with all the things she had to do to get ready for a Christmas party. With a list a mile long and not much time to complete it, she decided that she’d try a newfangled thing called delegation. So she turned to her husband and son….

“I have to run some errands before the guests arrive tonight. You guys are in charge of the Christmas cookies,” she ordered. “Here’s the recipe. There are only a few steps and a handful of ingredients. Just do exactly what it says.”

Since the husband and son loved Christmas cookies—especially the eating part—this was a good thing. But as they gathered the supplies, the conversation shifted to how unfair it was that every year, Mom made these cookies for guests, and they never got to eat any of them. And so they concocted a diabolical scheme.

Rather than making more cookies, they decided to make them as disgusting-looking as possible so no one else would want to eat them.

Black, brown, and army green frosting took center stage. Normal Christmas cookie cutters were abandoned for shapes like cows, race cars, and hands. Not mittens, hands.

When Mom returned home and saw the finished batch of ugly cookies, she was horrified. But it was too late to make new ones. So she positioned herself at the front door as guests arrived, and made sure that she told every visitor, “I did NOT make the cookies!” When people heard the story, they laughed. And when they saw them, they laughed harder.

Eventually, one brave soul decided to try one (perhaps she had too much eggnog?), and discovered that they were, in fact, delicious. So the original plan of the husband and son failed. But they were not deterred. They resolved to try harder next year.

Eventually, they branched out into cakes.

The guys broke the rule of what Christmas cookies (or a graduation cake, for that matter) are supposed to look like. And they created a tradition that has lasted for twenty years. Their goal, year after year, is to make the ugliest Christmas cookies around.

And these pictures? They were sent to me by the mom. She’s proud of the tradition now. People look forward to it. In fact, her mom—the grandma—eventually requested an ugly birthday cake of her own.

What sorts of things do you do the exact same way every Christmas because you’ve ALWAYS done them that way?

What if you changed things up this year?

I’m not talking about the sacred, untouchable family traditions (although maybe I am). But what about the things you do automatically, without much thought and without any real meaning? After all, forgoing the stress that can come from trying to create a confection that might make Martha Stewart weep tears of joy is not nearly as fun as concocting something that would have her wailing and gnashing her teeth.

To take it a step further, what other things do you do every year, every month, every week, every day—at work or at home—because you’ve always done them that way? What opportunities could you uncover, what problems might you solve, what new memories might you create if you took a different tack?

Going ugly can have some beautiful results.

My son Benjamin is only 15 months old, and he is a natural-born flirt.

On a recent family vacation to Santa Barbara, Ben made friends with approximately 7,235 people. He doesn’t say much, but then again, he doesn’t need to. His bright eyes and broad smile do all the work for him. Whether it’s sitting on airplanes, waiting in lines, or dining at a restaurant, Ben is constantly scanning for someone to smile at. And if you catch his gaze, watch out. Women are stopped dead in their tracks, and grown men are immediately drawn into silly games of peekaboo. When Ben smiles at you, no matter what kind of mood you’re in, you can’t help but smile back.

He’s viral.

According to Wikipedia, something is viral if it can induce some agents to replicate it, resulting in many copies being produced and spread around.

I can guarantee this: there were more smiles in Santa Barbara last week than there would have been if Ben had stayed home. 

But here’s the thing: you’re like Ben. You’re viral, too.

Your attitude is contagious. It spreads to people around you. If you want, you can spread smiles, enthusiasm, and optimism wherever you go. Of course, you can also be a harbinger of Adultitis. None of us lives in a bubble; we are each impacted by the people around us.

It’s often said that we should be the change we wish to see in the world. Sometimes a big change can begin with a simple smile.

Like it or not, you are viral.

What are you spreading?

Andre Cassagnes, the dude who invented the Etch-a-Sketch, was an electrical technician. Cassagnes came up with the idea in his garage when he peeled a translucent decal from a light switch plate and found pencil mark images transferred to the opposite face. Initially dubbed the Telecran, the toy was renamed L’Ecran Magique, or ‘The Magic Screen,’ and made its debut at a toy fair in Nuremberg, Germany, in 1959.

Funny thing about Etch-a-Sketches.

Using one is ridiculously easy. (Especially if you want to draw, you know, stairs.)

But making anything worthwhile with it is really, really hard.

Even though some people make it look easy:

The cool thing about the Etch-a-Sketch is how easy it makes it to start over. You shake it up a few times, and you’re rewarded with a blank slate.

Which makes the Etch-a-Sketch a lot like life.

Living is pretty easy, thanks to the fact that your brain, heart, and lungs put much of it on autopilot. Making your life into anything worthwhile, however, is hard. Harder than spending an hour on Facebook or watching a Golden Girls marathon.

But God, the dude who invented life, also made it pretty easy to start over.

Each new day is an opportunity to start again. With a clean slate and a new optimism.

Of course, there are exceptions, but few things in life are unfixable. Sure, you may have messed up yesterday in grand, spectacular fashion.

Your project, meeting, or soufflé may not have turned out the way you would have liked. Maybe you got lazy, lashed out, fell down, or said something you regret.

That’s ok. Today is a new day, a chance to try again.

Shake it up.

Have you ever noticed that you can always tell whether a child’s drawing was actually drawn by a child or an adult? Advertisements, signage, or product packaging will sometimes convey a childlike quality by including some elements supposedly drawn by a child. Much of the time, the drawing is done by a grown-up mimicking a child’s drawing. And you can tell it’s a fake.

Why is that?

It’s because the grown-up is trying to be something he or she is not. A real child’s drawing contains the bold, uninhibited, and unconventional expressiveness of that child. An adult can try to copy that spirit, but it is a fool’s game. The adult is burdened with too many pre-conceived notions: what color something is supposed to be, what shape something is, and how big it should be in relation to the other objects. Even though a grown-up may try to ignore those learned observations — by making the sun green or the house a triangle — she might not even consider the idea of making the trees float, which may be an obvious choice for a particular child. Usually, the grown-up ends up with an image that looks kind of like something a child would draw, but it’s always just a bit off, making it glaringly inauthentic.

Nothing beats an original.

We run into the same problem when we imitate someone else instead of just being ourselves. When we try to fit into a career that doesn’t suit us, mirror the journey of a personal hero, or follow in our father’s footsteps, no matter how well we do it, something will always be just a bit off. People can tell, and more importantly, we can feel it. Ironically, the reason we can’t pull it off is that too much of “us” gets in the way.

Like a child with a blackboard and a fat piece of chalk, what we need to do is open the floodgates and let the “us” run free. It is only when we boldly go in our own direction, tap into our own mix of unique talents, and embrace our own wonderful idiosyncrasies that we can fashion a life that is a truly authentic and inspiring work of art. It’s always better to be a first-rate you than a second-rate somebody else.

As my friend Scott says, “Cover bands never make it into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.”

There is magic in your originality. That’s what we want to see. And it’s exactly what the world needs.

Pajama Runs are great because they fit into busy schedules, allow you to break a few “rules,” and for the price of a few simple ice cream cones, you get to create a memory you will never forget.

The Mission: Put simply, a Pajama Run is when you surprise someone by taking them out for a late-night ice cream treat in their pajamas. In fact, EVERYONE involved needs to be wearing pajamas. Anyone can play — you can “kidnap” your kids, grandkids, parents, or friends — and you can include as many people as you want. Bonus points if the people you surprise are already in bed (feel free to wake them up with pots and pans and wooden spoons or some appropriate music). For best results, maintain the mystery by keeping the destination a secret for as long as possible. If you have kids and you’re feeling extremely rebellious, do it on a school night.

Are you in?

Here’s a video that goes into a bit more detail:

When you buy something online, during the checkout process, there is almost always a checkbox with an invitation to receive promotional emails of some sort. Sometimes you have to check the box to get the emails. Other sites have pre-checked the box for you, automatically assuming that you want their stuff. If you don’t, you physically have to uncheck the box — or opt-out — yourself.

If you’re not paying attention, you could end up getting a bunch of stuff you didn’t really want.

Too many people live life with their checkboxes pre-checked.

Every society has certain norms about how one is supposed to navigate through life. Here are a few that are pretty standard in America these days:

• You work a job you only kinda like — if you’re lucky — and then get to do what you really want when you retire.
• You always take the promotion.
• You should live together before you get married.
• A household needs two incomes to survive.
• A family must have two cars.
• Your family room should be centered around a television.
• You carry a monthly balance on your credit card.
• You have your babies in a hospital.
• When they are four or five, you send them off to school.
• Your kids should be involved in as many extracurricular activities as possible, as early as possible. (If you want them to be well-adjusted and get into good colleges, that is.)
• You need to decide what you want to do with your life in high school, so you can decide what degree you want to pursue, to decide what colleges to apply to.
• Once you get that degree, find someone to hire you to work that job you only kinda like…

Interestingly, most of the norms above only became norms within the past 50-100 years. Which makes it all the more peculiar that we are so quick to follow them. “The way we do things” hasn’t always been the way we’ve done things. And yet, many people go through life with these “checkboxes” pre-selected.

It’s time to opt out.

Opt out of all the preconceived notions, assumptions, and stereotypes. Then mindfully choose what’s best for you.

Just because everyone around you is running around like chickens with their heads cut off, overcommitted, overwhelmed, and financially overextended doesn’t mean you have to be, too. Just like online, if you don’t pay attention to what you’re signing up for (and why), you could end up with a life flooded with things you don’t want. Things like stress, debt, and regret.

Of course, opting out requires a fair measure of thought. You have to think: is this what I really want? Where did this norm come from? What are the pros and cons of sticking with it or ignoring it? Are there any alternatives?

On top of the heavy thinking, opting out requires faith and courage as well.

It’s not my job or my aim to tell you WHAT to choose. I just want you to be intentional about your choices. Your life doesn’t have to stick to the same standard plot as everyone else. In the end, you may end up choosing to keep many of the things the same. But at least the decisions are yours, and not anyone else’s.

In the end, that’s what leads to a rewarding life filled with meaning and adventure. And keeps you from getting a flood of stuff you never signed up for.

After a speaking gig in Houston years ago, we drove down to Galveston to spend a little time near the Gulf. Our daughter Lucy, almost four years old at the time, waded in the water, immersed in a game she liked to call “tricking the waves.” Kim commented on how much deeper she was willing to go compared to just a few months earlier, when we were in Florida.

Now, Lucy didn’t go diving headfirst into the surf or anything, but she didn’t need to. She was being, as I like to say, “just brave enough.”

I spent a lot of my childhood being afraid. I was afraid of new experiences. Of meeting new people. Of the unknown. Of drowning. Of looking stupid. Of the future. Of being a colossal failure in life. I was afraid of “the thunder, the lightning, and the firetrucks.”

Over the years, my faith has helped me deal with much of that fear, but it’s still a part of my life. It is for all of us.

There have been many moments in my life when I have been afraid and, like Susan Jeffers advises, “felt the fear and did it anyway.” Those brief moments of bravery have increased my resistance to fear. Like Lucy, after I went a little deeper, my new position didn’t seem all that deep anymore.

I’ve always been drawn to quotes about fear, courage, and bravery. The following quote comes from the movie “We Bought a Zoo,” and I had to jot it down as soon as I heard it:

“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.” 

–Matt Damon in We Bought a Zoo

I don’t know about you, but to me, there is great comfort in remembering that I don’t have to be brave and courageous every minute of my life.

Twenty seconds here and there will do.

Kim and I are all about collecting experiences over stuff. The challenge with experiences is that they are fleeting. Which is why we normally try to make them tangible in some way, to relive them again and again.

Some common methods for “tangibilizing” memories are taking photos, shooting video, scrapbooking, and journaling. These are each excellent in their own way, but they also have downsides. With photos and video, you can easily spend more time looking through a camera’s viewfinder than actually enjoying the experience firsthand. And others require a lot of post-event work that doesn’t always get done, as is the case with video editing, scrapbooking, and journaling.

I am not discounting any of the above methods for capturing experiences for future enjoyment. I have done and will continue to utilize each of them. I just want to call attention to an often-unheard-of but perhaps the easiest and most effective method.

Memory lists.

Memory lists are very simple and only require a few minutes to make. Using a notebook, jot down the “memory snapshots” that you experienced that day. Keep them simple; one sentence snippets will suffice. Don’t worry if you’re not a “writer.” You probably are experienced at making to-do lists, and you don’t worry about those winning Pulitzer prizes, right? Well, consider this an I-did list.

You can easily bust out a list of 10 things in less than five minutes. But here’s the magic: when you review the list in five years, you’ll be amazed at how those memories spring to life while your brain fills in the details you didn’t even write down.

For example, I just stumbled across a list that I made right after a trip to Florida years ago. Here’s a sampling of some of my notes from a visit to Disney World:

• Abu kissed Lucy during the Main Street parade.
• Genie gave Dad a high five.
• We told Cinderella’s evil stepsisters to “Keep it movin’.”
• Lucy: “It looked like Beast was nice.”
• Treats: Rice Krispies Mickey with M&Ms, Red Velvet Mickey Cake Pop.
• Lucy started bawling when Maleficent came out during the live show at Cinderella’s castle, requiring Dad to hold her.
• Ben’s first ride: It’s a Small World.
• Mommy and Lucy on the Astro Orbiter ride during the fireworks. Lucy: “It’s so pretty!”
• At night, the castle played “tricks” (light show). Lucy: “Good job, castle!” (with a thumbs up.)
• Dole whips!!!

Notice how rough and seemingly mundane a few of them are. Some are simply milestones (Ben’s first ride), a record of what we ate (Mickey cake pops), cute things Lucy said (“Good job, castle!”), or moments that were fleeting and could have easily been forgotten (Abu stopping to kiss Lucy).

We do have pictures and video of some of these moments, but let’s face it, some of the best memories happen when the cameras are turned off (or aren’t allowed). And upon our return from Florida, I didn’t have the time or energy to make a scrapbook, edit a video, or write more in-depth about our trip in a journal.

But I had fifteen minutes to write a list of 38 things that stood out about it.

Years later, it only took five minutes to read it and relive some wonderful memories that would have otherwise been forgotten.

I’ve never appreciated Dr. Seuss more than since having kids. He made books as enjoyable for adults as they are for children. Hands down, I would rather read ANY Dr. Seuss book over the Disney Princess Golden Books that have been the focus of Lucy’s recent attention. The former is fun to read, the latter comes off like a lifeless book report of an otherwise entertaining movie. (Just the facts, ma’am.) After reading Cinderella for the seven hundredth time, there are only two possible forms of relief: either a cannonball to the face or a reading of Hop on Pop.

Have you heard the legend that Green Eggs and Ham was written on a bet? It’s no legend, it’s true. After writing The Cat in the Hat using only 233 words, Seuss’ editor bet him that he could not write a book using no more than 50 words. Seuss won the bet when he wrote the now classic tale about some oddly-colored proteins.

Which brings me to an important lesson. And no, it’s not that you should try new things in a box or with a fox. You see, Green Eggs and Ham is Dr. Seuss’s best-selling book of all time. And it contained fewer words than any of the others. 

Although it goes against what we learned in kindergarten, sometimes less is more.

During the Civil War, Edward Everett, who was considered one of the great orators of the day, gave a speech that lasted two hours. But no one remembers it, because it was overshadowed by Abraham Lincoln, who used just ten sentences to deliver his Gettysburg Address.

But this lesson applies to more than words.

Less clutter is more space. Keeping your house, bedroom, or office desk free from clutter leads to more clarity and more space in your head.

Less activity is more freedom. Not saying yes to every invitation, working fewer hours, and limiting how many extracurriculars your kids are involved in leads to more family time and the freedom to do more things that feed you.

Less disruption is more productivity. Close your office door and turn off email alerts, and you’ll get more done. Turn off the TV at dinner, and your conversations will be more fruitful.

Less stuff is more experience. Spending less on the newest fashions, furnishings, and gadgets gives you more money to make memories and create scenes.

We here have made a mission out of believing that less stress is more fun.

And apparently, less Disney Princess Golden Books is more sanity.

Are you looking for more of something in your life? Space? Money? Productivity? Freedom? Family Time? Fun?

Maybe the answer lies in doing less of something else.