“C Plane” by Jason Kotecki. 20 x 20. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD 🔴 Shop this art!
Remember alphabet soup?
I ask you to remember because the last time you had it probably wasn’t yesterday or last week. It may have been a decade or four.
Something about alphabet soup brings out a sense of wonder and curiosity in us as kids. We stir it around to see if any secret messages emerge randomly, like a vegetable-fueled Ouiji board. We use our spoon to carefully arrange our own words, spell our name, a simple sentence, or maybe a dirty word…Just me?
But then we outgrow alphabet soup. Why?
Are we afraid our sophistication will be challenged? That we’ll be considered immature? That people won’t take us seriously?
In a seemingly unrelated note, it’s impossible for me to see an airplane and not think of my father-in-law, Gary. He loves airplanes. He used to drag his wife and four daughters to air shows. Their reviews of the regular excursions are mixed, but one thing was constant: it was always an opportunity for Gary’s inner child to soar.
I had the pleasure of attending the Oshkosh Airshow with him a few years ago. According to him, it’s the Super Bowl of air shows. He may have technically been sixty at the time, but it seemed more like he was six. His passion for airplanes has never faded.
Recently, he took my kids to watch sky divers jump out of planes and land safely a few feet from them on the ground. You might think he wanted to share a passion with his grandkids. You’d be partly right, but let’s be honest, it didn’t really matter if there was anyone else around. It was merely an excuse to indulge in a little bit of wonder.
When we are kids, we are drawn to wonder, and there are so many things that light us up and get us excited.
Too often, like our declining consumption of alphabet soup, we neglect or hide the things that light us up.
Maybe it’s because we are afraid our sophistication will be challenged. Or that we’ll be considered immature. Or that people won’t take us seriously.
There is a phrase we often use: guilty pleasures. They are things we enjoy but feel guilty for doing so. Usually, there is no real reason we should feel guilty; it’s just that they threaten our carefully curated likes and dislikes that fit in with the people we associate with or want respect from.
I’m with Dave Grohl, lead singer of the Foo Fighters, who said, “F*¢K guilty pleasures.” Like what you like. If you like Britney Spears, like Britney Spears.
Embrace your guilty pleasures. Find what lights you up and love it. Reconnect with the passions that get your inner child fired up and own them.
“3D Panda” by Jason Kotecki. 40 x 40. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD 🔴 Shop this art!
Too often, we look at our plans and big dreams with rose-colored glasses. We only see the upside, the pros, the best-case scenarios.
But if our dream – whatever it is – actually comes true, there will be downsides as well.
As author and entrepreneur Mark Manson has pointed out, everything sucks, some of the time. Every dream – no matter how wonderful or glamorous it first appears – comes with some flavor of what he calls a shit sandwich, a lousy side effect that you have to deal with.
That’s not to say we shouldn’t dream.
We just need to do it with 3D glasses.
When we look at something with 3D glasses, we see it from all sides: the good, sexy, photogenic slide, and the ugly, unfavorable, hideously-lit side. This allows us to behold a more realistic appraisal of the situation.
In the early days of our business, I dreamed of creating a giant online retail store that carried all kinds of “cool stuff for the young at heart.” It was easy to imagine us rolling in dough once we established ourselves in the marketplace and traffic started flowing. We’d be selling fun products on a fun website to people who liked to have fun. Not a downside in sight!
Well, as moved forward and started to grow, I began to encounter the drawbacks I hadn’t envisioned when I was looking at my plans with rose-colored glasses. I realized I hated trying to figure out what people would be interested in buying. I didn’t like managing inventory. Most importantly, I didn’t get any joy in selling other people’s stuff when I wanted to create my own. I saw that if we continued to grow, I would be doing MORE inventory, MORE managing, and MORE selling of other people’s stuff.
It was a shit sandwich that I didn’t want to eat.
My current role as a professional speaker involves a lot of travel, which includes no small measure of loneliness, delayed flights, and missed family events. But it’s a sandwich I’m willing to eat because it affords me the opportunity to visit cool places with my family and a lot of freedom to spend time in the studio when I’m not traveling.
As Manson notes, “Your favorite shit sandwich is your competitive advantage. By definition, anything that you’re willing to do (that you enjoy doing) that most people are not willing to do gives you a huge leg-up.”
The good news is that you can save a lot of time, money, and effort with a decent pair of 3D glasses.
When an amazing retail location became available in downtown Madison, Kim and I considered securing it as a combination studio / store / event space.
We spent two whole days looking at the possibilities with our trusty 3D glasses. The first day focused on imagining all the good parts: The great exposure our brand would get being steps away from the state capitol. The flexible space would allow us to host a lot of different events. The chance to sell my products directly to people, in person, in a space we created.
Then we spent the next day on the downsides: The high cost of rent. The need to hire and manage staff. The reality is that if I wanted to paint, my introverted self would rather spend it alone in my studio than in front of a crowd.
Ultimately, we decided to pass.
The point is not about finding the perfect scenario that doesn’t include a shit sandwich, because there isn’t one. It’s to spend some time upfront finding out what it is, by realistically examining the good, the bad, AND the ugly before you sink a ton of resources into an endeavor that won’t end up being your cup of tea.
No, you won’t be able to foresee everything but know this: Whatever you choose, your passion needs to be strong enough to withstand the most unpalatable parts of the work.
Rose-colored glasses are tempting, but a good pair of 3D glasses are the key to making smart decisions.
“Speed Racer” by Jason Kotecki. 30 x 40. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD 🔴 Shop this art!
The cheetah is known for being fast.
Really fast.
It’s the fastest land mammal, achieving running speeds of up to 70 miles per hour. But what most people don’t know is that the cheetah can’t maintain those speeds for long. In fact, a cheetah spends very little of its time running. It needs to recuperate and build up energy for the next hunt.
Obviously, if a cheetah doesn’t run, it cannot eat. But if the cheetah doesn’t rest, it cannot run. If the cheetah spent all its time doing what it does best, it would die.
The rest is just as important as the chase.
How much there is to learn from the cheetah! Oh, we have the running part down. We’re good at racing from one commitment to the next. Meetings, grocery shopping, clarinet practice, yoga, daycare drop-offs and pick-ups, baseball tournaments, birthday parties…the list goes on.
But the resting part, that’s where we falter. Slowing down is counter-cultural. We declare, “I’m so busy!” as if it’s a badge of honor. It’s a boast disguised as a complaint.
We celebrate hustle but are afraid of the hush.
We need to be more like a cheetah. Taking a reprieve from the hectic pace of modern life may seem pretty revolutionary, but it’s as old as human history. It even has a name, albeit an old-fashioned and highfalutin’ one: Sabbath.
The word itself conjures up religious overtones and maybe even an image of Charlton Heston holding a couple of stone tablets. Indeed, the concept of “Sabbath,” which means to stop or to rest, does have ties to every major world religion. But the truth is, the Sabbath has never really been for God. It’s for us. The idea of taking a day to stop our frenzied activity is as relevant today as it ever has been.
Many people — maybe even you — think of such an idea as impractical or even impossible. After all, weekends are packed with athletic events, church activities, work commitments, and family get-togethers like birthday parties, baptisms, and weddings. You’d love to have a day off, but it’s not like the world is going to let you take one.
No, the world might not be too keen about you dropping off the radar, but you know what?
It’s not the world’s choice. It’s yours.
I have friends who completely challenged my thinking about what’s possible when it comes to taking a Sabbath. Early in their marriage, they committed to taking one every week. It starts with church in the morning, after which they return home and have leftovers for lunch. Then they just hang out, taking naps, playing board games, or watching old Andy Griffith reruns. And they get pizza delivered for dinner (no cooking for Mom!)
When I first heard of this, I was as intrigued as I was perplexed. “But what if your kids have a baseball game? What about youth programs at your church? What about the obligatory birthday parties of friends and family?” Knowing that the husband spoke at churches where Sunday evening programs are common, I added, “What about people who want to hire you on Sundays?”
“We say no,” they said simply.
They admitted it was challenging at first. Communication was key. They told potential clients that their Sabbath was vital to the health of their family, and the churches simply booked him on a different day. They were up front with the coaches of their kids’ sports teams at the beginning of the season about their inability to participate in games or practices on Sundays. Even extended family members eventually got on board and respected their wishes.
“And you know what the most amazing thing is?” they added. “The kids look forward to it more than we do! They love the downtime and the reprieve from the busy week at school.”
I was blown away by the audacity of this family to disregard the concept of what a typical weekend is “supposed” to look like. Their example helped me to see that the idea that we are “obligated” to go to all the athletic, church, and family activities going on is another one of those rules that don’t exist.
Believe it or not, you get to decide what a weekend is “supposed” to look like. (For YOU, at least.)
Since then, Kim and I have taken a Sabbath almost every week. (There have been a handful of days when we’ve gotten cocky, thinking we could operate without one. Big mistake. We always notice it the following week, and we always regret it.) We started before we had kids, but it’s become even more important now that we have three. I can’t tell you how much it has contributed to the overall health and happiness of our lives. Just like anyone, our weeks are busy and contain their share of potholes and emergencies, but they are so much easier to deal with when you know you have a light at the end of the tunnel: a day to stop and get refreshed.
Even though some faith traditions consider certain days of the week as the “official” Sabbath, the important thing is to take one day a week as a time out, to slow down and reflect in gratitude about the blessings in our lives. Here are a few guidelines we follow:
We take a Sabbath once a week. Absolutely NO exceptions.
Because of our flexible schedule, we don’t always take our Sabbath on the same day each week, so we have to mark them on the calendar a few months out. After all, if you don’t plan it, life has a way of making plans for you.
We don’t do any chores. Zip. Zero. Nada.
I usually cook dinner, but only because I like to cook.
We give ourselves permission to pig out, be lazy, watch tv, or do whatever we want.
You might choose to do things a bit differently. Nobody’s life is the same, but there are two constants:
First, a Sabbath is doable for everyone. If you think you’re the exception, you’re wrong.
Second, the world isn’t going to offer you a free day once a week without a bit of effort. It will take a little creativity, sacrifice, and communication. You will probably have to say no to some good opportunities in order to say yes to the best ones. But in the end, it will be SO worth it.
A respite from the cacophony of voices and choices, from the harried busyness that wears down our immune system, is not a luxury. It’s an absolute necessity. If you don’t make time to rest, life has a way of forcing you to, and it might not be in a manner you’d prefer.
We need to model the rhythm of the cheetah. She knows that she can’t run all the time, even if it is the thing she does best.
Like the cheetah, we all need time to physically and mentally rest. To catch our breath. To just be.
And to make sure life doesn’t speed by you before you’ve ever had the chance to figure out where you want to go.
“Enjoy the Climb” by Jason Kotecki. 16 x 20. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD 🔴 Shop this art!
If you were to place your nose really close to this canvas and focus only on one of the goats, what would you see? A mountain goat on a snowy mountain. The environment around them is boring, plain, cold, and possibly treacherous.
I was reading some old journals the other day. I was struck by how concerned I was about details of projects and initiatives that are no longer relevant to our current business model. Problems that needed to be solved, or else! Pitfalls that seemed like backbreakers. At first, I felt disappointment that I had wasted so much time on things that, in the end, didn’t matter at all. But then I realized that’s how life works. You struggle through, doing the best you can with the information you have. Hopefully, you learn from your mistakes, grow, and move forward. I realized that in ten years, a review of the journal I wrote this morning will probably feel the same way; only the details will have changed.
Back to the painting now. Look at the big picture.
Holy cow, those goats are surrounded by ice cream!
Sometimes we miss the cool things happening in our lives, because we’re too focused on the struggles right in front of us.
A few years ago, I was enjoying a wonderful dinner with some speaker friends. We started a table discussion about the best place you’ve ever been that you’d like to go back to. While others shared amazing stories of Tuscany, Brazil, and Ireland, I felt silly because all I could think of was the Quality Inn in Clearwater, Florida.
I’m pretty sure the year was 2007. Kim and I didn’t have kids yet, and we were in the early stages of my speaking career. We’d recently been to a speakers’ convention where a guy named Randy Gage talked about these exotic bungalows in Tahiti. He noted that some are perched over the water, featuring cool glass-bottomed floors, and wondered why anyone would invest the considerable expense to vacation in Tahiti and then settle for the slightly cheaper but extremely less exotic wood-bottomed accommodations a few hundred feet inland.
So as we checked into the Quality Inn, the host offered us the option of upgrading from our “Garden View” room (which savvy travelers know as code for “Ugly Roof and Air Conditioning Unit View”) to an “Ocean View” room.
“How much extra would that cost?” we asked.
“$20 a night,” was the reply.
We huddled to talk it over. Twenty bucks was a big deal for us, which should not come as a surprise because, as I mentioned, we were checking into a QUALITY INN.
With Randy’s rallying cry still ringing in our ears, we threw caution to the wind and said YES.
Isn’t it funny how often it takes far less than a million dollars to feel like a millionaire? That’s definitely how we felt as we triumphantly surveyed our ocean view.
Photographers often refer to the hour before sunset as “magic hour,” because the light from the sun casts a beautiful golden hue on everything it touches. I remember lying on our bed, watching the sun sink into the Gulf. And I still remember how beautiful Kim looked. I’m so glad we snapped this selfie before selfies were a thing.
I also remember that back then, we spent a lot of our time dreaming of “making it” and looking forward to the days when we’d be checking into much fancier hotels, you know, like Quality Inns in Tuscany.
I spent a lot of time striving, worrying, and wishing I were somewhere else. Somewhere better. But I look back now and realize what an exciting, fun time that really was.
Sometimes we get so caught up chasing the next moment that we forget to savor the one we’re in.
Wherever you are on the mountain right now, enjoy the climb.
“Leap” by Jason Kotecki. 20×16. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD 🔴 Shop this art!
Why is it that so many of the people who have found success in America are first-generation immigrants? One big reason is that many of them came from a place that is not so great. They saw America as the Land of Opportunity, and they pursued it with a definitive focus and relentless persistence. They were willing to leap from the known to the unknown.
A big reason people don’t chase their dream is that where they are now isn’t half bad.
They give up the dream and settle for the dreamsicle.
A dreamsicle is sweet and alluring and very tempting. It’s the option most people go for, with its safety, comfort, and surface-level perks. Because of that, you wonder if you’re crazy to even consider abandoning it.
The dreamsicle is the lifestyle that ensures you need to keep your current job for as long as possible.
It’s the boyfriend who checks all the boxes except for the one that matters most.
It’s the job that impresses your parents but gives you Sunday Night Dread.
But eventually, it leaves an unsatisfying feeling in your stomach. Like maybe you shouldn’t have settled for something so easy.
When I first started my business, the prospect of dealing with taxes, paying for my own health insurance, and being solely responsible for the revenue (or lack thereof) felt daunting. Turning down a steady job with killer benefits and staying in a crappy apartment for eight years seemed ill-advised at the time. Now it’s clear that it was one of the best decisions I ever made.
Any time you break away from the crowd and do something different is scary. The leap into the unknown requires us to be the leaders of our own destiny.
But nothing is ever as rewarding or satisfying as chasing the dream in our hearts.
“In This Kitchen We Dance” by Jason Kotecki. 20 x 20. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD 🔴 Shop this art!
I painted this for my wife’s 40th birthday. It’s one of her favorite quotes, and it perfectly captures the spirit that fills our kitchen.
As kids, we danced all the time. We danced when we were excited. We danced when we were happy. We even danced when we were bored. Why did we ever stop?
Maybe we started worrying about looking foolish.
Maybe we’ve discovered that the world isn’t as carefree as we thought it was.
Maybe we are afraid of pulling something.
The kitchen often serves as the primary gathering place in a home. From time to time, our kitchen hosts spontaneous dance parties. If a favorite song comes on, we crank the volume, and our family of five casts our cares to the wind and shakes our booties to the music. Mind you, these dance parties are mostly devoid of any talent (although my son Ben has some sweet moves), but they are always bursting with joy and enthusiasm.
You see, kitchen dancing doesn’t require sweet moves.
It does require you to move, however. Even a little booty shake can make your body feel better.
It also requires the willingness to be vulnerable by looking a little silly, which is one of the most intimate ways to bond with another person.
And it requires the ability to take oneself lightly, which helps lighten the heavy loads that weigh us down.
“Space Invaders” by Jason Kotecki. 12 x 12. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD 🔴 Shop this art!
Some of you are old enough to remember the Atari video game system. A far cry from the advanced graphics we see in games today. And only one button!
One of the most popular games was called Space Invaders, which I have featured prominently in this painting. It was a simple concept: you try to shoot as many aliens as you can as they descend down your screen. As the game continues, the aliens descend at an ever-increasing speed. If they reach the bottom, the alien invasion is successful, and the game ends.
To me, this is a great metaphor for Adultitis, a disease that Kim and I have committed our lives to help defeat. All of you are familiar with this enemy, even if you’re hearing the name for the first time. It’s what happens when you lose your sense of wonder, your curiosity, and your childlike zest for life.
Quite literally, Adultitis means “swelling of the adult.” And when you’re walking around with too much adult, your life is more stressful and less fun.
Although I wish there were a magic potion or miracle cure that ended Adultitis once and for all, there just isn’t. Adultitis is always coming after us, just like those aliens. You can blast down a whole screen by going to Disney World, but on your first day back to work, another wave is ready to strike.
The key, I think, is to look at fighting Adultitis as a game. It’s most deadly when it hides in the shadows, convincing you to take yourself too seriously and getting you to focus on the negative.
But if you notice where it tries to sabotage you and laugh at its advances, you can diffuse its power.
Our family has had great fun in acknowledging when Adultitis has gained the upper hand, and we encourage one another to fight back. Extreme cases call for a pajama run or a spontaneous dance party in the kitchen.
My Dad always says, “Everything happens for a reason.”
I make it a game to try to figure out the reason. Anytime something bad happens, I start thinking about what good could come from it. What if you looked at the challenges you face like any other game?
Instead of looking at making payroll as a life-or-death situation, make it into a game.
Instead of worrying about not getting everything done today, make it into a game.
Instead of stressing out over how you’ll ever be able to conform to the new regulations in your industry, make it into a game.
Instead of acting like your current challenge is something found in the bad-tasting medicine aisle, mentally repackage it in primary colors and take it from the toy section. Breathe. Smile. Have some fun with it. By looking at it as a game and clearing your mind of the useless worst-case scenarios, you’ll actually be MORE likely to notice the people, opportunities, and ideas you’ll need to win.
You may believe that the stakes are much higher now compared to a silly game of Space Invaders. But are they really? With VERY few exceptions, the truth is that our fear of failure is worse than the consequences that come from actually failing. Sure, the project very well might flop, your efforts might go to waste, or someone may laugh at you. You could get rejected, dejected, or fired.
Sometimes, like the aliens, Adultitis advances past your defenses and wins the day.
But you know what? The good news is that you can hit reset and start again. Life WILL go on. It’ll be ok. You’ll be able to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get ready for the new — even better! — opportunity right around the corner.
“Monkey Business” by Jason Kotecki. 16 x 20. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD 🔴 Shop this art!
“He’s all business.”
“Let’s get down to business.”
“It’s not personal, it’s just business.”
Business is usually regarded as serious stuff. Too bad, because it doesn’t have to be.
Some people seem to think that when it comes to business, you can’t have fun and be successful at the same time. Which is the dumbest thing ever. Leaders who see the power in bringing fun to the workplace are smart enough to understand that having a little fun in no way diminishes the seriousness in which one takes his or her responsibility.
The cool thing is that fun can be a competitive advantage. The old saw is true: People like doing business with people they like. If two real estate agents or financial advisors or home child care providors are equally proficient in what they do, but one is way more fun to work with, which one will make more money?
The truth is, there is no reason you can’t have more fun at work, even though Adultitis likes feeding you plenty of excuses:
“But my work is really serious.”
If your job is super serious, you’d better make sure you have some sort of humor outlet somewhere or you can plan to burn out in short order. Being a 9-1-1 operator is a high-stress operation, but the ones I’ve talked to who last have a top flight sense of humor that keeps them sane.
“But my work is really boring.”
Sometimes the actual work you might be inherently fun. (A Lego Master Builder or teaching at a clown school comes to mind.) But even if you’re not in that camp, there’s still hope. Have a job that requires you to perform the same boring task over and over? Online videos abound proving that some flight attendants have figured out how to make their safety instruction speech fun while others drone on in the same way, day after day.
“But my workplace is so bleak.”
You can always make your work environment more fun in some small way. There are famous examples that feature foosball tables and indoor slides, but you can easily turn your workspace into a whimsical art gallery or give your office supplies faces.
“But my co-workers are riddled with Adultitis.”
Even if you work with Adultitis-ridden colleagues (or mostly alone), you’re still not off the hook. You can bring an attitude of fun. First, quit hiding behind corporate speak and excuses about policy. Have a personality. Add a little fun to your wardrobe. And don’t take yourself too seriously. Our family doctor is very good at what he does. And he is really, really funny. In fact, I’m not sure I can describe my first ever prostate exam as fun or enjoyable, but somehow, by telling jokes and stories and keeping things light, he made it not the worst experience ever. Which is saying something. Oh, and never, ever underestimate the power of a red clown nose.
Yes, it’s technically possible to be successful in business without having any fun.
“Like a Boss” by Jason Kotecki. 16 x 20. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD 🔴 Shop this art!
Life can feel like a high-wire act. You’re doing your best to juggle everything on your plate: your job, your family, your finances, and just when you think everything is going pretty well, you glance down and see someone whose yard looks way better than yours. How do they get those flowers to flourish like that?
Or someone’s kids who are in way more activities than yours. Will my kids be less attractive to colleges?
Or someone who just drove up in their new car. Should I be thinking about getting a better job?
For instance, my neighbor cuts his grass every six minutes. Okay, maybe it only seems like that. It’s probably more like sixteen. The point is, a perfect lawn is apparently important to him. I’m not here to judge, except I often do judge…myself.
Our lawn usually looks pretty shaggy compared to his, especially if it’s been more than a week since we cut our grass. And the fact that we hire that out makes me self-conscious. Does he think I’m less of a man because I don’t cut my own grass? Does he think we think we’re better than him because we hire someone to do it for us? Do the neighbors see our weak landscaping game and think our house is bringing down the home values in the neighborhood? It’s kind of embarrassing to say all this out loud, because I have no reason at all to think anyone is thinking any of this, but it does pop into my head when I lose focus on what matters to me.
I appreciate a nice lawn, but I value the extra time to spend with my family. One of the reasons I work so hard on my business is so I can spend more time doing what I love and pay someone else to do the things I hate.
Please understand that I’m not saying my way is the best one. After all, my neighbor friend is retired with kids who are grown. He has a lot more time to spend on keeping up his lawn. For all I know, it might be a therapeutic escape for him. It’s like comparing apples and mangosteens. Which is completely my point.
Television and magazines are filled with examples of people who seem to have it all together. They gracefully glide through life as the perfect mom, perfect wife, and perfect employee.
It’s all a facade. We don’t ever know the whole story, whether it’s the celebrity with the flawless teeth or the neighbor right next door. We all have different priorities and are fighting different battles (which often stay hidden from the camera’s lens or our surface-level observations).
I’m not here to tell you what’s important to you. I’m just here to remind you that it can’t ALL be.
The people who are running around like chickens with their heads cut off, trying to keep up with an impossible standard of balancing everything perfectly, are making a huge mistake. Not only is such a standard impossible to attain, but they’re also allowing the busyness to distract them from what’s most important.
The people who are doing life right are the ones who are mindful of what kind of life they want to live and are focused on that.
How do you tackle life like a boss?
Stay focused on what’s most important to you. Ignore the rest.
“Celebrate Everything” by Jason Kotecki. Digital. Shop this art!
Too many people treat the calendar as the utmost authority on what constitutes a good reason to celebrate. If a holiday is written in fine print on a particular day in the calendar, we assume it’s safe to throw a party.
So, if the calendar says it’s Halloween, we dress up in costumes and go bobbing for apples. If the calendar says it’s Independence Day, then we’ll throw meat on the grill and go blow something up. If the calendar says it’s New Year’s Eve, we stay up late, wear funny hats, and use instruments made of paper to make noises that sound like diphtheria-ridden ducks.
Contrary to popular belief, your calendar is not the boss of you.
Making your last mortgage payment is a good reason to throw a party.
The night before the last day of school is a good reason to throw a party.
Baby’s first laugh is a good reason to throw a party.
If a reason seems good enough to you, well then, it’s good enough.
The calendar as we know it is woefully incomplete. Every single day is a holiday.
It’s just that most days, what to celebrate is up to you.
