“All-American” by Jason Kotecki. 40 x 40. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD 🔴 Shop this art!
This bison is terrible at golf. But that’s okay because he’s playing a different game.
In a fitting reflection of the diversity we enjoy in this county, the American Dream has splintered into a hundred different versions. I like to think of these options as games. Rather than tracking three-pointers, we might measure things like money, body weight, square footage, degrees, status, accolades, connections, sales, prestige, and fame. In the old version, the white picket fence served as the trophy to prove that you won.
This is your life. You decide what game you want to play. But you can’t play and hope to win them all. If you’re not careful, you can get duped into playing a game you don’t even care about and end up making choices that distract you from the game you do.
The cool thing is that once you identify the game that matters to you, you can let go of all the burdensome envy and guilt you feel when you compare yourself to people playing different games. I’ll admit it: I’m getting blown out in the games that are being played by some of my friends, family, and peers. You might be, too. But the game that matters to me? I’m leading the league.
Two lessons here: Get really clear on what game you’re playing. And don’t beat yourself up for being in last place in the games you’re not.
“3D Panda” by Jason Kotecki. 40 x 40. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD 🔴 Shop this art!
Too often, we look at our plans and big dreams with rose-colored glasses. We only see the upside, the pros, the best-case scenarios.
But if our dream – whatever it is – actually comes true, there will be downsides as well.
As author and entrepreneur Mark Manson has pointed out, everything sucks, some of the time. Every dream – no matter how wonderful or glamorous it first appears – comes with some flavor of what he calls a shit sandwich, a lousy side effect that you have to deal with.
That’s not to say we shouldn’t dream.
We just need to do it with 3D glasses.
When we look at something with 3D glasses, we see it from all sides: the good, sexy, photogenic slide, and the ugly, unfavorable, hideously-lit side. This allows us to behold a more realistic appraisal of the situation.
In the early days of our business, I dreamed of creating a giant online retail store that carried all kinds of “cool stuff for the young at heart.” It was easy to imagine us rolling in dough once we established ourselves in the marketplace and traffic started flowing. We’d be selling fun products on a fun website to people who liked to have fun. Not a downside in sight!
Well, as moved forward and started to grow, I began to encounter the drawbacks I hadn’t envisioned when I was looking at my plans with rose-colored glasses. I realized I hated trying to figure out what people would be interested in buying. I didn’t like managing inventory. Most importantly, I didn’t get any joy in selling other people’s stuff when I wanted to create my own. I saw that if we continued to grow, I would be doing MORE inventory, MORE managing, and MORE selling of other people’s stuff.
It was a shit sandwich that I didn’t want to eat.
My current role as a professional speaker involves a lot of travel, which includes no small measure of loneliness, delayed flights, and missed family events. But it’s a sandwich I’m willing to eat because it affords me the opportunity to visit cool places with my family and a lot of freedom to spend time in the studio when I’m not traveling.
As Manson notes, “Your favorite shit sandwich is your competitive advantage. By definition, anything that you’re willing to do (that you enjoy doing) that most people are not willing to do gives you a huge leg-up.”
The good news is that you can save a lot of time, money, and effort with a decent pair of 3D glasses.
When an amazing retail location became available in downtown Madison, Kim and I considered securing it as a combination studio / store / event space.
We spent two whole days looking at the possibilities with our trusty 3D glasses. The first day focused on imagining all the good parts: The great exposure our brand would get being steps away from the state capitol. The flexible space would allow us to host a lot of different events. The chance to sell my products directly to people, in person, in a space we created.
Then we spent the next day on the downsides: The high cost of rent. The need to hire and manage staff. The reality is that if I wanted to paint, my introverted self would rather spend it alone in my studio than in front of a crowd.
Ultimately, we decided to pass.
The point is not about finding the perfect scenario that doesn’t include a shit sandwich, because there isn’t one. It’s to spend some time upfront finding out what it is, by realistically examining the good, the bad, AND the ugly before you sink a ton of resources into an endeavor that won’t end up being your cup of tea.
No, you won’t be able to foresee everything but know this: Whatever you choose, your passion needs to be strong enough to withstand the most unpalatable parts of the work.
Rose-colored glasses are tempting, but a good pair of 3D glasses are the key to making smart decisions.
“Speed Racer” by Jason Kotecki. 30 x 40. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD 🔴 Shop this art!
The cheetah is known for being fast.
Really fast.
It’s the fastest land mammal, achieving running speeds of up to 70 miles per hour. But what most people don’t know is that the cheetah can’t maintain those speeds for long. In fact, a cheetah spends very little of its time running. It needs to recuperate and build up energy for the next hunt.
Obviously, if a cheetah doesn’t run, it cannot eat. But if the cheetah doesn’t rest, it cannot run. If the cheetah spent all its time doing what it does best, it would die.
The rest is just as important as the chase.
How much there is to learn from the cheetah! Oh, we have the running part down. We’re good at racing from one commitment to the next. Meetings, grocery shopping, clarinet practice, yoga, daycare drop-offs and pick-ups, baseball tournaments, birthday parties…the list goes on.
But the resting part, that’s where we falter. Slowing down is counter-cultural. We declare, “I’m so busy!” as if it’s a badge of honor. It’s a boast disguised as a complaint.
We celebrate hustle but are afraid of the hush.
We need to be more like a cheetah. Taking a reprieve from the hectic pace of modern life may seem pretty revolutionary, but it’s as old as human history. It even has a name, albeit an old-fashioned and highfalutin’ one: Sabbath.
The word itself conjures up religious overtones and maybe even an image of Charlton Heston holding a couple of stone tablets. Indeed, the concept of “Sabbath,” which means to stop or to rest, does have ties to every major world religion. But the truth is, the Sabbath has never really been for God. It’s for us. The idea of taking a day to stop our frenzied activity is as relevant today as it ever has been.
Many people — maybe even you — think of such an idea as impractical or even impossible. After all, weekends are packed with athletic events, church activities, work commitments, and family get-togethers like birthday parties, baptisms, and weddings. You’d love to have a day off, but it’s not like the world is going to let you take one.
No, the world might not be too keen about you dropping off the radar, but you know what?
It’s not the world’s choice. It’s yours.
I have friends who completely challenged my thinking about what’s possible when it comes to taking a Sabbath. Early in their marriage, they committed to taking one every week. It starts with church in the morning, after which they return home and have leftovers for lunch. Then they just hang out, taking naps, playing board games, or watching old Andy Griffith reruns. And they get pizza delivered for dinner (no cooking for Mom!)
When I first heard of this, I was as intrigued as I was perplexed. “But what if your kids have a baseball game? What about youth programs at your church? What about the obligatory birthday parties of friends and family?” Knowing that the husband spoke at churches where Sunday evening programs are common, I added, “What about people who want to hire you on Sundays?”
“We say no,” they said simply.
They admitted it was challenging at first. Communication was key. They told potential clients that their Sabbath was vital to the health of their family, and the churches simply booked him on a different day. They were up front with the coaches of their kids’ sports teams at the beginning of the season about their inability to participate in games or practices on Sundays. Even extended family members eventually got on board and respected their wishes.
“And you know what the most amazing thing is?” they added. “The kids look forward to it more than we do! They love the downtime and the reprieve from the busy week at school.”
I was blown away by the audacity of this family to disregard the concept of what a typical weekend is “supposed” to look like. Their example helped me to see that the idea that we are “obligated” to go to all the athletic, church, and family activities going on is another one of those rules that don’t exist.
Believe it or not, you get to decide what a weekend is “supposed” to look like. (For YOU, at least.)
Since then, Kim and I have taken a Sabbath almost every week. (There have been a handful of days when we’ve gotten cocky, thinking we could operate without one. Big mistake. We always notice it the following week, and we always regret it.) We started before we had kids, but it’s become even more important now that we have three. I can’t tell you how much it has contributed to the overall health and happiness of our lives. Just like anyone, our weeks are busy and contain their share of potholes and emergencies, but they are so much easier to deal with when you know you have a light at the end of the tunnel: a day to stop and get refreshed.
Even though some faith traditions consider certain days of the week as the “official” Sabbath, the important thing is to take one day a week as a time out, to slow down and reflect in gratitude about the blessings in our lives. Here are a few guidelines we follow:
We take a Sabbath once a week. Absolutely NO exceptions.
Because of our flexible schedule, we don’t always take our Sabbath on the same day each week, so we have to mark them on the calendar a few months out. After all, if you don’t plan it, life has a way of making plans for you.
We don’t do any chores. Zip. Zero. Nada.
I usually cook dinner, but only because I like to cook.
We give ourselves permission to pig out, be lazy, watch tv, or do whatever we want.
You might choose to do things a bit differently. Nobody’s life is the same, but there are two constants:
First, a Sabbath is doable for everyone. If you think you’re the exception, you’re wrong.
Second, the world isn’t going to offer you a free day once a week without a bit of effort. It will take a little creativity, sacrifice, and communication. You will probably have to say no to some good opportunities in order to say yes to the best ones. But in the end, it will be SO worth it.
A respite from the cacophony of voices and choices, from the harried busyness that wears down our immune system, is not a luxury. It’s an absolute necessity. If you don’t make time to rest, life has a way of forcing you to, and it might not be in a manner you’d prefer.
We need to model the rhythm of the cheetah. She knows that she can’t run all the time, even if it is the thing she does best.
Like the cheetah, we all need time to physically and mentally rest. To catch our breath. To just be.
And to make sure life doesn’t speed by you before you’ve ever had the chance to figure out where you want to go.
“Enjoy the Climb” by Jason Kotecki. 16 x 20. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD 🔴 Shop this art!
If you were to place your nose really close to this canvas and focus only on one of the goats, what would you see? A mountain goat on a snowy mountain. The environment around them is boring, plain, cold, and possibly treacherous.
I was reading some old journals the other day. I was struck by how concerned I was about details of projects and initiatives that are no longer relevant to our current business model. Problems that needed to be solved, or else! Pitfalls that seemed like backbreakers. At first, I felt disappointment that I had wasted so much time on things that, in the end, didn’t matter at all. But then I realized that’s how life works. You struggle through, doing the best you can with the information you have. Hopefully, you learn from your mistakes, grow, and move forward. I realized that in ten years, a review of the journal I wrote this morning will probably feel the same way; only the details will have changed.
Back to the painting now. Look at the big picture.
Holy cow, those goats are surrounded by ice cream!
Sometimes we miss the cool things happening in our lives, because we’re too focused on the struggles right in front of us.
A few years ago, I was enjoying a wonderful dinner with some speaker friends. We started a table discussion about the best place you’ve ever been that you’d like to go back to. While others shared amazing stories of Tuscany, Brazil, and Ireland, I felt silly because all I could think of was the Quality Inn in Clearwater, Florida.
I’m pretty sure the year was 2007. Kim and I didn’t have kids yet, and we were in the early stages of my speaking career. We’d recently been to a speakers’ convention where a guy named Randy Gage talked about these exotic bungalows in Tahiti. He noted that some are perched over the water, featuring cool glass-bottomed floors, and wondered why anyone would invest the considerable expense to vacation in Tahiti and then settle for the slightly cheaper but extremely less exotic wood-bottomed accommodations a few hundred feet inland.
So as we checked into the Quality Inn, the host offered us the option of upgrading from our “Garden View” room (which savvy travelers know as code for “Ugly Roof and Air Conditioning Unit View”) to an “Ocean View” room.
“How much extra would that cost?” we asked.
“$20 a night,” was the reply.
We huddled to talk it over. Twenty bucks was a big deal for us, which should not come as a surprise because, as I mentioned, we were checking into a QUALITY INN.
With Randy’s rallying cry still ringing in our ears, we threw caution to the wind and said YES.
Isn’t it funny how often it takes far less than a million dollars to feel like a millionaire? That’s definitely how we felt as we triumphantly surveyed our ocean view.
Photographers often refer to the hour before sunset as “magic hour,” because the light from the sun casts a beautiful golden hue on everything it touches. I remember lying on our bed, watching the sun sink into the Gulf. And I still remember how beautiful Kim looked. I’m so glad we snapped this selfie before selfies were a thing.
I also remember that back then, we spent a lot of our time dreaming of “making it” and looking forward to the days when we’d be checking into much fancier hotels, you know, like Quality Inns in Tuscany.
I spent a lot of time striving, worrying, and wishing I were somewhere else. Somewhere better. But I look back now and realize what an exciting, fun time that really was.
Sometimes we get so caught up chasing the next moment that we forget to savor the one we’re in.
Wherever you are on the mountain right now, enjoy the climb.
“Hippoposterous” by Jason Kotecki. 20 x 20. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD 🔴 Shop this art!
This is a tiny hippo in a bowl of Froot Loops. Or is it a normal-sized hippo in a giant bowl of Froot Loops?
I don’t remember.
Either way, it’s preposterous.
Most serious people don’t have time for the preposterous. They have much more important things to concern themselves with. Of course, there’s a good chance that these people are also riddled with Adultitis, make terrible leaders, and will never change the world.
Consider the smartphone. It is a device on which you can look up any fact in the world or talk to your friend on the other side of the planet via video. And you can use it to order a hundred melon ballers that will arrive at your door by tomorrow. Just think of all the elements at play that make this thing work: microchips. The internet. Wi-Fi. Facial recognition. Speech recognition. Rechargeable battery. Unbreakable glass. (Oh, wait…)
Now, imagine having to explain all this stuff to your great-grandparents.
Preposterous!
For those of you old enough to remember TV shows from the twentieth century, it’s something out of The Jetsons or Star Trek. But now it’s just an ordinary, normal thing.
Okay, now let’s compare this to a pocket calculator. The calculator seems simple by comparison, right?
What if I told you that the first handheld pocket calculator would not be invented until five years AFTER President John F. Kennedy declared, in 1961, that America would send a man to the moon by the end of the decade?
Preposterous!
Now let’s look at some of the challenges you might be dealing with.
Finding a better job.
Paying off that credit card.
Landing that account.
Finishing your degree.
Potty-training your kid.
Do any of these issues seem all that hard by contrast?
Will success require creativity? Hard work? Sacrifice? Teamwork? Of course. But let’s not label it as preposterous. It’s amazing how many things that started out as preposterous eventually become rather obvious.
Remember, there once was a time when a stapler was a fancy piece of office equipment.
“Leap” by Jason Kotecki. 20×16. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD 🔴 Shop this art!
Why is it that so many of the people who have found success in America are first-generation immigrants? One big reason is that many of them came from a place that is not so great. They saw America as the Land of Opportunity, and they pursued it with a definitive focus and relentless persistence. They were willing to leap from the known to the unknown.
A big reason people don’t chase their dream is that where they are now isn’t half bad.
They give up the dream and settle for the dreamsicle.
A dreamsicle is sweet and alluring and very tempting. It’s the option most people go for, with its safety, comfort, and surface-level perks. Because of that, you wonder if you’re crazy to even consider abandoning it.
The dreamsicle is the lifestyle that ensures you need to keep your current job for as long as possible.
It’s the boyfriend who checks all the boxes except for the one that matters most.
It’s the job that impresses your parents but gives you Sunday Night Dread.
But eventually, it leaves an unsatisfying feeling in your stomach. Like maybe you shouldn’t have settled for something so easy.
When I first started my business, the prospect of dealing with taxes, paying for my own health insurance, and being solely responsible for the revenue (or lack thereof) felt daunting. Turning down a steady job with killer benefits and staying in a crappy apartment for eight years seemed ill-advised at the time. Now it’s clear that it was one of the best decisions I ever made.
Any time you break away from the crowd and do something different is scary. The leap into the unknown requires us to be the leaders of our own destiny.
But nothing is ever as rewarding or satisfying as chasing the dream in our hearts.
“The Burger King” by Jason Kotecki. 40 x 40. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD 🔴 Shop this art!
When Kim and I are goofing off, either alone or with the kids, one of us will often challenge the other to “own it.” What this means is that we have to push away any iota of self-consciousness and fully commit to 100% concentrated silliness.
When you see someone trying to act like a funny character or dance ridiculously, you can tell if they are not “owning it.” You can tell they feel awkward, and that awkwardness makes you feel a little awkward, too.
But if you’ve ever seen someone “own it,” it’s like they’re the only person in the room. They look patently ridiculous — way more so than the person who feels awkward being just a little silly — and they positively don’t care.
That is powerful.
Each of us has a line that marks how far we are willing to go in looking silly in front of others. For most of us, that line is not very far away. Some people will do anything to avoid looking the least bit silly in public. We don’t dance in public, wear anything that might draw a sideways glance, or even raise our hands to ask a question if we think everyone else already knows the answer.
Elite comedians are willing to go shockingly beyond that line. They go so over-the-top in their commitment to the bit, owning it in a way that clearly shows that they simply don’t care how silly they look.
Amy Poehler rightly said, “There’s power in looking silly and not caring that you do.”
We often assume that if we are too silly, people won’t take us seriously. But the irony is that the less we care about how silly we look, the more confidence we project. And confidence is power. We are more attracted to people with confidence. People follow confident leaders. We say yes to requests made with confidence.
I considered making this painting 12 x 12 inches. What a stupid choice that would have been. The original painting is almost four feet square, and thank goodness. This painting is about the power of not caring about looking silly. It’s important that this lion, one of the most powerful creatures on earth, is life-size. Being face-to-face with him gives you a real sense of his power.
The fact that this lion, one of the most powerful creatures on Earth, is wearing a silly little paper crown from a fast-food joint does nothing to minimize that power.
Are you going to be the one to tell him he looks like an idiot?
Even if you did, it’s pretty clear that he wouldn’t care one whit about your opinion.
We can’t control the opinions of others or what they think of us. But that doesn’t matter, because you are enough. You don’t need anyone else’s permission or validation to feel valuable. Own the power that comes from being you–your wonderful, weird, and wacky you, and not caring about what other people think.
When you can own that? Well, that’s as powerful as you can be.
“A Little Whimsy” by Jason Kotecki. 40 x 40. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD 🔴 Shop this art!
The moment we have fully succumbed to Adultitis is the moment we turn down a twisty straw for a regular one.
The mane on this giraffe is pink and purple. In the early stage of this painting, the spots were different colors, too.
But as it developed, I decided to go with more natural colors. Except for the mane, of course.
And that whimsical twisty straw.
The moment we have fully succumbed to Adultitis is the moment we turn down a twisty straw for a regular one.
Would you like to generate a little bit more positive word of mouth for your business? Maybe improve employee morale and engagement? See your customer satisfaction ratings rise? Attract more people to your association or cause? Would you be interested in making life feel a little bit more magical? Here’s the secret: Add a little whimsy.
Please note! I said “a little.” Like a single drop of food coloring in a pitcher of water, a little whimsy is enough to transform everything.
For me, the giraffe in this painting represents this concept:
Too much whimsy and no one takes you seriously. Just the right amount and the world takes notice.
Let me give you an example. One of my favorite things about Canada are the walk signs. I’ve been trying to figure out why. I think it’s because he has cute little feet and seems a bit more laid back in posture compared to his U.S. cousin, who is in a more forward-leaning position (giving the feeling of being in a hurry). Plus, he has no feet. (Maybe he’s hunched over in pain?)
See what I mean? I think the U.S. walk signs have Adultitis. It’s a subtle difference, almost imperceptible, but I’d much rather be the fellow on the left, wouldn’t you?
Just a little bit of whimsy is enough to remind you of the child that still lives inside. The one secretly sticking its tongue out at your idiot boss. The one that knows that even though you have to fill out that tax form doesn’t mean you have to like it. The one who believes in having fun simply for the joy of it.
Something like wearing colorful socks, dying a pink streak in your hair, or adding some stickers to your laptop lets Adultitis know there’s a new sheriff in town.
It adds a little color and zest to a life that may have veered too far into the gray.
On the whole, it’s tempting to see these little touches as frivolous, superfluous, and insignificant. But they actually do something quite important: They have the power to uplift the human spirit.
Something we need now more than ever.
Whenever you can add a little gladness and gaiety to a person’s day, do it. P.T. Barnum once said, “The noblest art is that of making others happy.”
“Like a Boss” by Jason Kotecki. 16 x 20. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD 🔴 Shop this art!
Life can feel like a high-wire act. You’re doing your best to juggle everything on your plate: your job, your family, your finances, and just when you think everything is going pretty well, you glance down and see someone whose yard looks way better than yours. How do they get those flowers to flourish like that?
Or someone’s kids who are in way more activities than yours. Will my kids be less attractive to colleges?
Or someone who just drove up in their new car. Should I be thinking about getting a better job?
For instance, my neighbor cuts his grass every six minutes. Okay, maybe it only seems like that. It’s probably more like sixteen. The point is, a perfect lawn is apparently important to him. I’m not here to judge, except I often do judge…myself.
Our lawn usually looks pretty shaggy compared to his, especially if it’s been more than a week since we cut our grass. And the fact that we hire that out makes me self-conscious. Does he think I’m less of a man because I don’t cut my own grass? Does he think we think we’re better than him because we hire someone to do it for us? Do the neighbors see our weak landscaping game and think our house is bringing down the home values in the neighborhood? It’s kind of embarrassing to say all this out loud, because I have no reason at all to think anyone is thinking any of this, but it does pop into my head when I lose focus on what matters to me.
I appreciate a nice lawn, but I value the extra time to spend with my family. One of the reasons I work so hard on my business is so I can spend more time doing what I love and pay someone else to do the things I hate.
Please understand that I’m not saying my way is the best one. After all, my neighbor friend is retired with kids who are grown. He has a lot more time to spend on keeping up his lawn. For all I know, it might be a therapeutic escape for him. It’s like comparing apples and mangosteens. Which is completely my point.
Television and magazines are filled with examples of people who seem to have it all together. They gracefully glide through life as the perfect mom, perfect wife, and perfect employee.
It’s all a facade. We don’t ever know the whole story, whether it’s the celebrity with the flawless teeth or the neighbor right next door. We all have different priorities and are fighting different battles (which often stay hidden from the camera’s lens or our surface-level observations).
I’m not here to tell you what’s important to you. I’m just here to remind you that it can’t ALL be.
The people who are running around like chickens with their heads cut off, trying to keep up with an impossible standard of balancing everything perfectly, are making a huge mistake. Not only is such a standard impossible to attain, but they’re also allowing the busyness to distract them from what’s most important.
The people who are doing life right are the ones who are mindful of what kind of life they want to live and are focused on that.
How do you tackle life like a boss?
Stay focused on what’s most important to you. Ignore the rest.
“Someday (Cubs Win)” by Jason Kotecki. 16 x 20. Oil on canvas. Original is in Private Collection 🔴 Shop this art!
This is my tribute to the 2016 World Series Champs, the Chicago Cubs. (Did I just write that?!)
The 2016 season was as magical as it was historical for the Chicago Cubs, who had not been to a World Series since 1945 and had not won a championship since 1908. I started this painting after the Cubbies won the pennant, but could not get myself to finish it when they fell behind in the World Series. The path to the top of the mountain is paved with baseballs, which represent the 108 years of futility. The ball in the mouth of the cub has the year 2016 written on it, a year I will never forget.
As a lifelong Cubs fan, there are no words to describe the satisfaction of finishing this painting with the strike through the word “someday.” Finally, after so many years of ups and downs, the Cubs are the World Series Champions.
