Author: Jason

  • Echo Base Dispatch #001 – Just Four Colors

    This is a new video series from my studio overlooking Lake Michigan. It’s where I slow down, listen, and make art that brings light into the world. This is Echo Base Dispatch—a brief transmission from here to wherever you are—where I share what I’m working on, what I’m wrestling with, and the lessons I’m learning along the way.

    –Jason

    The best part of living on the edge of Lake Michigan is witnessing the incredible, infinite creativity of God every day. Upon the simple canvas of sky and water, He paints an endless stream of masterpieces. 

    His work effortlessly transitions from calm to mysterious to turbulent, and his use of color, form, and texture is breathtaking. One day, the sky is a watercolor painting, with subtle pastel hues bleeding into one another like a melting scoop of rainbow sherbet. Other days are oil paintings, with an impasto of thick, angry clouds scraped across the sky. Some days, He pulls out all the crayons, some days his palette is quite limited, and some days, I swear, He’s inventing new colors.

    Since I’ve been living here, I’ve harbored a desire to capture what I see. I know my version can’t hold a candle to His, doomed to look like a dime store copy of a copy of a copy. A proverbial exercise in futility.

    But alas, I can wait no longer. On the occasion of turning fifty soon, I have decided to undertake a quest in which I sit on the edge of the Master’s studio and create fifty copies of some of His best work. Fifty paintings of the same sky and water that somehow never look the same.

    I’m calling the series of paintings “50 Shades of Great.”

    As if this tinker project wasn’t challenging enough, I am adding an extra wrinkle: I can only use four colors on each painting. 

    [The four colors I’ve chosen for this one are Ultramarine Blue, Cadmium Yellow, Quinacridone Magenta, and White.]
    There’s a reason I’m limiting myself like this.

    Let’s start by hopping in a time machine, back to a time when a box of 64 Crayola crayons — complete with a sharpener in the back — was as valuable as anything on Earth. I recall it containing every color known to mankind, exotic hues not found in the pedestrian collections of 8 or 24: Periwinkle. Brick Red. Cornflower. Thistle. Goldenrod. And of course, Gold and Silver, which I was convinced were made with real bits of the precious metals.

    The box of 64 crayons turned anyone into an artist. Everything was possible; there was nothing you couldn’t draw.

    Nowadays, we’re still artists. No longer working in crayon, turning out drawings to decorate the fridge, we are now tasked with creating better communities, businesses, and teams. In this work, we often yearn for a bigger budget, less red tape, or more cooperation from colleagues, upper management, and politicians. We could use more training, more structure, more resources.

    If only I had brick red! Can you imagine what I’d do with periwinkle? We could make a real difference with silver and gold in our crayon box!

    How we long for the unlimited possibilities that box of 64 crayons represented! 

    If I had double the budget, I could really make some strides with these students.

    If I had a few extra hours a week, I could make some real progress on this plan.

    If I had another acre, an extra room, or a few hundred more square feet, I could be so more productive and efficient.

    If I had a bigger team, we could get so much more accomplished.

    Money. Time. Space. Manpower.

    Silver. Cornflower. Brick Red. Periwinkle.

    You may want the big box of 64 crayons, but there is never a time when you’ll have everything you wish you had. 

    Most of the time, it feels like you’re a few crayons short of filling the humble box of 8.

    Short of the resources that would make your work significantly easier or more effective, it’s easy to feel paralyzed and tempted to throw your hands up in resignation. We let the disappointment over what we don’t have keep us from making the most of what we do.

    But here’s an important truth to keep in mind. The best painters in the world can create a masterpiece with only four colors: red, yellow, blue, and white. That’s all you need to paint a rainbow.

    Even though art supply stores feature walls of paint tubes in a dizzying array of pigments, the wise teachers implore their students to proactively limit their palette to a handful of hues to ensure a harmonious, pleasing result.

    True creativity thrives when constrained by limitations. Ultramarine was the finest and most expensive blue used by Renaissance painters. It was made from lapis lazuli, a rare and expensive stone, often costing more than gold. But when you are using a lot of warm earth tones, as those master painters did, a neutral gray made from black and white can take on a blue tone by comparison.

    Having access to all the colors does not make one an artist. 

    It’s about knowing how to use the ones you have.

    Whether you are an educator, a healthcare professional, an entrepreneur, or a parent trying to raise great kids, I understand you wish you had more time, more resources, and more freedom to do the important work that needs to be done.

    Unfortunately, that may never be the case. It rarely is in the real world.

    But that’s ok.

    You are simply called to do the best you can with what you have.

    Don’t let your limitations hold you back, dear artist.

    You may not have the whole box of 64, but you have everything you need to make a masterpiece.

    🤔 Where do you feel stuck because you’re waiting for something you don’t currently have? Is there something you can do to move forward using resources you do have?

  • Serving Up Signed Copies of Humble Pie

    Every book has a typo.

    I don’t care how prestigious the publisher, how persnickety the author, or how many editors looked it over; there will always be at least one typo. 

    It’s a law of nature, like gravity, and how whatever line you choose to stand in always becomes the slowest.

    Ok, maybe it’s not that ironclad. But it does happen more than you might expect. I even noticed one in my Bible the other day (although it wasn’t the Author’s fault).

    Obviously, a professional works to minimize typos as much as possible. A book riddled with errors is the mark of an amateur. It looks careless and detracts from the message or story the author is trying to convey.

    I’ve talked about this law with my friend Scott, who writes books like most people change socks. Since then, I’ve seen typos pop up again and again. Instead of raining down condescension upon the world-renowned author and their fancy New York publisher, I just nod and think, “And there it is.”

    It happens to the best of us.

    But not me.

    No, I’ve written seven books (plus all the Kim & Jason comic strips), and have thus far been able to avoid this fate.

    Ahem.

    Well, I spotted one recently, during a public reading of my new children’s book. It tripped a wire in my mind. Something felt wrong, but I kept going. Afterwards, I looked back at the text, trying to find the problem. I couldn’t, so I figured my brain must have misfired while my mouth was busy saying the words out loud.

    Except then it happened again. During another public reading.

    Yep. 

    There is a typo in The Penguin Who Flew, a picture book for children that only has 32 pages and just 527 words.

    This article is longer than that.

    I published a book with 527 words, but only 526 of them are typed correctly. 

    (As far as I know.)

    I can confirm that the professional editor I hired isn’t to blame, as the final manuscript does not have the error. It must have happened as I typed the copy into the final layout (why didn’t I just copy and paste?!), so the blame falls squarely on my shoulders.

    To be fair, 99.8% of the words in the book are totally fine.

    Somehow, that doesn’t make the 0.2% burn any less.

    And let me tell you, it really bummed me out. 

    Still does.

    But as the person who has stood on stage after stage, declaring into darn near every microphone I’ve been given that every storm cloud contains a silver lining, I had to ask the question:

    Now that this has happened, what does this make possible?

    Let’s see…

    It unleashed an avalanche of embarrassment upon me, that’s for sure. It provided an opportunity to lose face in the eyes of readers, who will conclude that I am a hack who clearly didn’t care enough to proofread his own book. It will confirm to the world once and for all that I am a fraud…

    (Wait, this is not helping…)

    Then I had this thought: It’s an opportunity to grow in humility. Which, believe it or not, is something I’ve been praying for. In an attempt to become more like some of my spiritual heroes, and more specifically, Jesus, I realized that I have a long way to go in this department. 

    (If you don’t think God answers prayers…)

    So yes, this disaster did make it possible to grow in humility. Strangely, that actually made me feel better about the whole thing. 

    Then I realized I could grow even more if I told everyone about the typo, publicly, like I’m doing right NOW. I assume most people will have missed it, as I did, the hundred times I read it BEFORE signing off on thousands of dollars of printing to commence. 

    But now everyone will be alerted. It’s no longer just my little secret.

    (Yes, this sounds like a really smart move…)

    That said, I have decided not to share where the typo is. Perhaps you can make it a game, or a fun scavenger hunt for your kids that you can use to teach them at least seven valuable lessons. 

    (See? Another good thing made possible by my blunder!)

    When we do the next printing, I will correct it, which will give those who ordered early a collector’s item. It might even be worth more if it’s anything like the “error cards” from the baseball card-collecting days of my youth. 

    (That’s me doing you a solid, giving you an investment tip, and rewarding my early investors. Order now, while supplies last!)

    But please, just do me one favor. When you do find it, don’t email me to tell me. I already know where it is, and I have no gold stars for you. It might seem like it’s helpful to let an author know you found a mistake in their book, but there’s usually not much they can do about it. Plus, no author I’ve ever met is under the illusion that they’ve written the perfect book. Let them reside in the bubble that maybe, just this once, the stars aligned, and they did.

    On the other hand, after sharing my embarrassing debacle opportunity to grow in virtue with Scott, he reminded me that when people point out a typo, it means they actually read your book. Which, in today’s attention-deprived world, is just about the best compliment an author can receive. 

    So, to all the many folks who have sent me anecdotes and pictures of kids (and former kids) who have read and LOVED it and, in a few cases, declared it their new favorite book(!), thank you. It’s gratifying to know that this story about a persistent penguin with an impossible dream has landed the way I’d hoped.

    And you know what? Feel free to spread the word about the typo.

    Especially to the kids. 

    Maybe the fact that even the big-shot professional author of their new favorite book makes mistakes will remind them that he is human, just like them. And then maybe it’ll dawn on them that they don’t have to be perfect to achieve their dream, either. 

    Like Marty the penguin, they only have to give it everything they’ve got.

    So remember, friend: every book has a typo.

    Every life has them, too.

    Just don’t let them stop you from making something great.

    Hurry! Only a limited number of typo-enhanced copies are still available!


    🤔 Anybody else want to grow in humility by sharing one of their colossal screw ups?

  • 15 Frozen Hearts

    Photo by Kim Kotecki.

    Kim and I spent the first few days of this new year together, alone. The kids were with grandparents while we enjoyed our annual respite to reflect on the year that was and dream about what might be next. 

    After breakfast one day, we strolled along a pier that juts into Lake Michigan. The air was cold but invigorating because the wind was elsewhere, as were most people. We had the pier to ourselves. Upon reaching the end, we paused in silence, surrounded by thin, cracked sheets of ice. It was quiet, except for the crackling and crunching of the stiff blanket covering the surface of the water.

    Peace.

    We lingered for a bit, then walked back toward land, resuming our conversation. As our stroll concluded, Kim declared her desire to return for a Wonderhunt, casually mentioning that she’d seen fifteen hearts in the snow and ice over the course of our short walk.

    How many had I seen?

    Exactly none.

    What a talent! I marveled to myself.

    But is there such a thing as talent for something like this? For seeing hearts in nature? I’m not so sure. It’s not the same as having been blessed with a beautiful singing voice, exceptional sprinting speeds, or a penchant for math.

    I do know this: The biggest reason Kim has a knack for spotting hearts seemingly at will is that she spends a lot of time looking for them. 

    What looks like magic to someone else is often the result of lots and lots of practice.

    I once wrote a book about seeing. In it, I talked about storms, the metaphorical kind that blow through our lives. I also wrote about one of our most underrated superpowers: the ability to choose what we look for in the midst of those storms. 

    Yes, the storms will come. Scary, devastating, faith-shaking storms. They are a given, right up there with death and taxes.

    But the people who see the silver linings are usually the ones looking for them.

    It’s not a talent. It’s a practice.

    And the more you practice, the better you get.

    This, my friend, is as true with finding hearts in nature as it is with anything.

    So…will this year be even worse than last year? Or could it be that this will be your best year ever? 

    Want to know a secret? You don’t have to wait to find out.

    The trap that’s so easy to fall into is letting external circumstances dictate our answers: The news headlines, the outrage du jour on social media, the ups and downs of our personal lives. 

    It’s hard to see a year in which you hit rock bottom as anything other than bad. But a decade later might bring a new perspective that recasts it as a gift of great value.    

    Please know I’m not suggesting you pretend that the tough or terrible moments don’t suck. I know I had plenty of those last year. Being sad, mad, or angry is part of the human experience. We don’t have to bury those emotions under some false blanket of positivity. 

    Just remember that the best year ever is not one devoid of failure, conflict, tragedy, or loss. The storms are part of life.

    But. 

    If you spend a lot of time looking for miracles, you’ll start finding them everywhere.

    No talent is required.

    You just need to practice.


    ☕ How would you assess your ability to spot the “hearts” in your life? What’s one way you could practice getting better?

  • The Best Investment Advice

    Many Januarys ago, as the ho ho hos of the holiday season abruptly transitioned to the ho ho hums of winter, I came across this abandoned television on a walk around the neighborhood. (Sad face added by me.) I’m sure this one-time technological marvel was the highlight of some Christmas past, but there it sat on the side of the road, abandoned, amidst dirty piles of old snow, valueless. I had no doubt a new TV was in its place; better, flatter, higher def…and also destined to be discarded in a few years.

    It was an oversized reminder of our obsession with stuff and our never-ending chase of the latest and greatest. We so easily forget that while we prioritize the tangible — physical things we can see, touch, and that take up space — their most consistent attribute is how they distract us from the things that matter. 

    Indeed, it’s our experiences — the intangible, fleeting moments of our lives — and the memories they leave behind, that become our most highly valued treasures.

    It’s the beauty of the light from a hundred candles in a darkened church on Christmas Eve, the afternoon spent together covered in flour while baking snicker doodles, tucking some deliriously excited but exhausted kids into bed after a late night at Grandma’s; these are the moments that rush by too fast (rudely neglecting to warn us of their importance as they go), and are more valuable than a million big screen TVs.

    When we spend money on stuff, it usually depreciates in value over time. This year’s must-have Christmas gift is next year’s Goodwill contribution.

    However, the money we invest in experiences is different. The memories we make appreciate in value as we get older and loved ones move on. The money we spend on experiences is always a bargain and leaves us with longer-lasting feelings of happiness. We usually wish we had savored them more when we had the chance. 

    Instead of buying a “thing” for someone you care about, you might consider gifting them an experience of some kind. It could be a simple weekend trip, concert tickets, a nice dinner out, an offer to babysit for a whole day, a scholarship for an art class, an evening of bowling, or a visit to a spa for a massage. The possibilities are endless.

    Now, I seem to be always adding to my Funko Pop collection, and I’d like to upgrade my grill, but just as no one on their deathbed ever said they wished they spent more time at the office, no one ever said, “I wish I had accumulated more stuff!”

    But certainly more than a few people have wished they’d taken more family vacations, thrown more parties, undertaken more adventures, or created more memories with the people they loved.

    This is not as much a rant against stuff as it is a rally for mindfulness. 

    In many ways, this year will be the same as the last: filled with temptations to chase the tangible, as well as thousands of opportunities to seek out, embrace, and savor that which is not.

    May our goal be to look for ways to invest in memories that get more valuable each passing year.

    It sure beats accumulating a future ornament for the end of our driveway.

  • Like a Champion

    This sign is above the door in the sacristy at Holy Name of Jesus in Sheboygan, where I serve as a lector. In a Catholic church, the sacristy is a room, usually near the altar, where vestments, supplies, and sacred vessels are kept, and the priest and attendants prepare for Mass.

    It’s kind of like the locker room where the players prepare for the big game.

    The sign is a play off the famous one in the stairwell between the locker room and the field at Notre Dame University. (That one says, “Play like a champion today.”) It actually originated at the University of Oklahoma, on a sign installed by coach Bud Wilkinson in the 1940s for the Sooners football team. In 1986, Notre Dame coach Lou Holtz had one made for his team. Since then, it has become a tradition for Notre Dame players to touch the sign, often with a tap, a swipe, or a kiss, as a way to honor the history, remember the sacrifices of those who came before, and mentally prepare for the game. 

    One of my favorite routines implemented by our pastor, Fr. Nick, is when he gathers the cantor, lectors, and altar servers in prayer before Mass begins. He asks for the ability to treat it as if it were our first Mass, our last Mass, and our only Mass.

    Each of these scenarios calls to mind a unique emotional flavor…

    There’s a nervous excitement you get when doing something for the first time.

    There’s a feeling of reverence and appreciation that arises when you know you only get to do it once.

    And there’s a somber sort of gravity when you know you’re doing something for the last time. 

    They are different experiences, but in each case, we usually make a special effort to savor the moment, giving it our undivided attention, allowing ourselves to be fully present.

    There is great value in adopting this mindset anytime you’re doing something important, especially if it’s become routine. It might feel like a bit of mental trickery, because even if it’s not actually the first or only time you’re doing it, it may very well be your last.

    I like this prayer so much that I now say it before every speech I give. I put myself in the headspace of it being my first, last, and only speech. I pray that God will be with me, that I will say what needs to be said, and that my audience will hear what they need to hear. (Which, believe it or not, is sometimes different than what I actually say!) 

    To consider that it could legitimately be the last speech I’ll ever give rekindles a certain electricity and helps me give it the respect it deserves, regardless of how “impressive” the stage or size of the audience. 

    It helps me give it my all, like a champion. 

    Now, you may not be a priest, a lector, a professional speaker, or a football player. 

    You don’t need to be any of these things to take this ritual to heart. 

    What is on your to-do list today? 

    Is there something on it that’s important, but you do it so regularly that it feels rote, and sometimes even like a burden? 

    Like caring for an ailing parent or a sick patient, perhaps?

    Maybe serving a customer or helping a student.

    Nursing a child.

    Teaching a class. 

    Running a meeting.

    Repairing a vehicle. 

    Fixing a leaky pipe. 

    Making dinner.

    Preparing to host a family gathering this holiday season. 

    No matter what the task, what if you acted like you were doing it for the first time?

    Would you do anything differently if it were your only time doing it?

    What if, today, is the last time you’ll ever get to do it?

    How might you approach it then?

    Like a champion, I hope.

    P.S. This article was originally published at SheboyganCatholic.com, a site I created to share more of my thoughts on faith. If you’re interested in that sort of thing, you can subscribe to the weekly newsletter here.


    🤔 I wonder…what’s something on your to-do list today that’s become a routine, or is something you’re not looking forward to? How would you approach it if it were your first, last, or only time?

  • Time for a Tinker Project?

    Sometimes living a better story requires making a big, hairy, scary change. Like moving across the country or taking a pay cut to do what you love. But most of the time, we just need to be open to the art of tinkering.

    The dictionary says that to tinker is “to repair, adjust, or work with something in an unskilled or experimental manner.”

    Take special note of those words “unskilled” and “experimental.” For some reason, we grown-ups think we have to master something on our first attempt. And know exactly how something will turn out before we take a first step. Naturally, that’s impossible, so we don’t even try.

    Kids are under no such illusions. They tinker all day long.

    And when you were a kid, so did you.

    If you’re serious about improving your story, just try small things and see what happens. If your inner child whispers something that sounds fun but feels a bit outrageous, commit to trying it just once. Or for a few days.

    • Order something off the menu that you normally wouldn’t. Maybe it’ll open up a whole new culinary adventure. Or maybe not. No big deal.
    • Get rid of a small box of things. Maybe you’ll appreciate the freedom so much that you’ll give away half your things to Goodwill. Maybe not. No big deal.
    • Submit your resumé for that dream job. Maybe they’ll call you for an interview. Maybe not. No big deal.
    • Invite that guy out for coffee. Maybe he’ll say yes, and it will lead to dinner. Or maybe he doesn’t, and it won’t. No big deal.
    • Run around the block today. Maybe you’ll be so invigorated that you’ll set the goal of running a marathon in six months. Maybe not. No big deal.

    Don’t worry about doing everything perfectly, and don’t bite off more than you can chew. Just do a little of this, a little of that. Cut a little here, a little there. You might even want to start a Tinker Project.

    A Tinker Project is a playful endeavor of any size or scope that gives you permission to experiment with something that’s been tugging at your soul, without regard to any particular outcome. It’s a chance to chase your curiosity and try something new. It’s about venturing into the unknown, just because, where the act of exploration is reward enough.

    A few years ago, I launched a Tinker Project to create 100 new pieces in a year. (I made 29 original pieces the year before.) I was regretful of having gone too many years in a row wishing I’d spent more time in the studio. I gave myself permission to experiment; none of the pieces needed to be great or serve any bigger purpose. In the end, I grew leaps and bounds as an artist and made some significant breakthroughs.

    The best part was that I could stop wondering what would happen if I actually committed myself to making more art.

    Your Tinker Project might be to take a picture every day on a morning walk, not to become a National Geographic photographer, but just to release a creative side of yourself that has been dormant for too long.

    Your Tinker Project might be writing a dozen short stories about an abandoned robot, not to become a bestselling author, but because the stories can’t stay locked within you for one more minute.

    Your Tinker Project might be to visit 24 new restaurants this year, not to start a career as a successful food blogger, but simply to stretch your culinary comfort zone a bit.

    Your Tinker Project might be to pen one handwritten letter a week, not to increase your business, but to connect more deeply with people you care about.

    Your Tinker Project might be to take a six-week ballroom dancing class, not to avoid embarrassing yourself at your wedding reception, but just because it might be fun.

    A Tinker Project may produce some productive, practical, and perhaps even profitable benefits, but that’s not its purpose. In adulthood, our heart often takes a back seat to our head, with its incessant need for reason and fear of failure or looking stupid. 

    A Tinker Project is about trusting that sometimes, your heart has reasons for doing things that take a while for your head to understand.

    I really hope you’ll be inspired to start a Tinker Project of your own. If so, I’d love to hear how it goes. Use the hashtag #TinkerProject to share it with the rest of us.

    These small actions may lead to big things, sure, but don’t be paralyzed by the belief that to make your life better, you have to do something elaborate, groundbreaking, and meticulously planned.

    Tinker.

  • Saying Goodbye to Something Good

    Yesterday, we held what may be the last Wonder & Whimsy Society Family Reunion in our backyard. I’ve learned to never say never, but for now, Kim and I have decided to tie a bow around the W&WS, feeling called to move on to other things.

    A project born of the pandemic that lasted five years, it was a labor of love that changed lives for the better, most notably our own. It was a difficult decision that took a good part of a year to come to. It was reminiscent of the time I resolved to retire my comic strip, “Kim & Jason,” after investing six-plus years into it.

    Both decisions came after a lot of prayer. I wanted to be sure that we weren’t abandoning ship just because persisting was hard. The issue of pride also makes it difficult to move on. Was I wrong to pursue it? Does stepping away make it a failure (and a public one at that)? Did I waste years on something not meant to be?

    Our lives are made up of seasons. Entering a new one doesn’t automatically make the last one bad, or wrong, or a failure. 

    When we left Madison for Sheboygan in 2021, there were many signs that it was time to move on from a place that had been our home for twenty years. It was tempting to regard it as an evil ex-girlfriend who wronged me. But I never could. Yes, there were reasons for leaving, but that place and community served us well for two decades. I just couldn’t get myself to paint over the positive with a broad brush of negativity, as if we were fooled or mistreated. 

    Just because something ends doesn’t mean it was bad. Neither should we cling to a season that has ended.

    Each season has a reason.

    Each one is its own gift. 

    Each season brings forth something good, even the particularly trying or unhappy ones.

    What can trip us up, however, are misaligned expectations. I talked about this in my presentation at Wondernite Friday night, and will share more later. The short version is that expectations are merely predictions of how we think or hope something might go. Sometimes we are right, and sometimes we are wrong. In either case, they were still predictions. 

    We lose our sense of peace when we refuse to let go of something because “this wasn’t the way it’s supposed to go.”

    Seasons are a natural part of life, and we experience different ones in our relationships, careers, and health. 

    A change from one season to the next is not necessarily an indicator that you’re doing something wrong.

    It’s ok to feel sadness when a particular season ends. I did when I said goodbye to my comic strip, and I do now, saying goodbye to the Wonder & Whimsy Society. As much of a relief as it is when your kids can sleep through the night, there’s also a sadness that your days of rocking them to sleep are also numbered. It’s ok to be sad when a sweet season comes to an end; that means it mattered. 

    We can and should learn from every season we experience. We should look for and be grateful for the blessings that came from them. And we can look forward to new seasons with hopeful anticipation.

    But we shouldn’t beat ourselves up because summer turned into fall.


    🤔 I wonder…what season were you most sad to move on from? What new season are you looking forward to with anticipation?

  • Rising Above the Critic in Your Head

    The upcoming Wondernite auction will be filled with unique items. (The one-day auction is open to everyone, but you can also buy a virtual ticket to watch the livestream of my presentation.) Among the items available are two original paintings I did while exhibiting at the Midsummer Art Fair in Sheboygan.

    I like painting live for a few reasons. First, and most selfishly, it gives me something to keep me busy during the long days. 

    Secondly, it attracts people to our booth. I’m one of the only ones at the show doing a live demo, so it really stands out. 

    Another cool benefit that I didn’t see coming is that I become almost invisible. People can be standing nearby, flipping through prints, and forget that I’m there. It’s a blessing to hear their enthusiastic, unvarnished comments to one another and the delight they get from my work. (Fortunately, most reactions are all good. If they weren’t, I’m sure I’d feel differently!)

    But perhaps my favorite thing about live painting is something I started last year, on a whim. When a child comes up and stops to watch me working, I stop painting and ask if they’d like to help, handing them my paintbrush before they can answer.

    Now, I know a few secrets. In this environment, I create paintings that are more impressionistic than my usual style. They don’t require technical precision, like many of my others. This enables me to get the painting finished in one day while giving me the flexibility to stop and have conversations with passersby. This style also allows for more “diversity” of brushstrokes from my special collaborators. The other thing I know is that acrylic dries fast, so if something goes really wrong, I can easily paint over it later.

    To be honest, though, I’ve now done four of these and have only painted over one errant brushstroke.

    And it was left there by a grown-up.

    Yes, I do invite an adult to have at it from time to time. Mostly old ladies who I can tell really want to contribute, but often have many years of built-up Adultitis I need to help them clear away first.

    Still, it’s mostly kids who contribute to these pieces. What I find most fascinating are the reactions from their parents. Many correctly determine that if the artist didn’t want his painting “ruined,” he wouldn’t hand over his paintbrush to a three-year-old. They encourage their children to give it a try and snap photos of the moment.

    But it’s striking how many of the others tell on themselves, revealing the Adultitis bottled up within. I can sense them clenching up, worrying they’ll be responsible for their kid ruining the painting.

    “Do it like this…”

    “No, don’t do it that way…”

    “Don’t mess it up…”

    Then, after their child lays down a single stroke deemed to be satisfactory, they quickly interject, “Ok, that’s enough…” trying to shut it down before all hell breaks loose.

    I mostly just ignore the grown-ups, preferring instead to focus on the best part: seeing the kid’s face after they hand the brush back to me. Their eyes widen, they stand a little straighter, and they exude a sense of awe over having played a part in something so “important.”

    I’d like to give the parents a little pep talk, but it never seems like the right time. I just hope that the “you did great!” I direct at the child is loud enough to pierce the soul of their parent.

    Although they are simple paintings, there’s something beautiful about knowing they’re created by a complex tapestry of marks made by others. Even the wonky, shaky, less-than-perfect ones.

    And so maybe now is the right time to speak to the parent. For in many ways, we are all those parents, whether we have kids or not.

    We all have a little voice inside our heads – maybe with origins in real events that happened years ago – that continually tells us, “You’re not good enough. You’re gonna screw it up. You’ll look like a fool.”

    The truth is this: No, you’re not good enough. You will screw things up. And there will be times you’ll look like a fool.

    But also, that’s ok.

    It really is ok.

    That doesn’t make you bad or broken or stupid; it makes you human.

    Just like the rest of us.

    But the other true thing is this: the only way to grow, the only way to get better, the only way to get the most out of this very short life, is to do it anyway. Say yes to the invitation to participate, to contribute, to experience something new.

    It’s hard to put a price tag on the feeling that comes from outgrowing our comfort zone and contributing to something bigger than ourselves.

    The story we inhabit is bigger than us. It’s a masterpiece, in fact.

    But it won’t be as beautiful without your wonky, shaky, less-than-perfect contribution.


    🤔 I wonder…where in your life right now do you need to let go of perfectionism, sidestep fear, and stretch your comfort zone?

  • Surviving the Raging Seas (and Gentle Lakes) of Life

    Photo by ​Katja Anokhina​ on ​Unsplash​

    How hard could it be?

    It was a very calm lake, and I’d been kayaking a few times before. Spending an afternoon with my family on glacier-fed Eklutna Lake in Alaska seemed like a great entry into our vacation portfolio.

    Then the guide started giving her super casual safety presentation, and I suddenly wondered if I was down to my last hour of life.

    To be fair, I’ve never used a sea kayak before. The pros make it look easy. To me, it seems poorly designed. (Unless you were designing something intended to drown someone, in that case, it’s perfect.) If you don’t know what it’s like to use a sea kayak, imagine an eight-foot-long wooden 2×4 floating in the water. Now imagine sitting on top of it and trying not to tip over. Maybe it’s just me, but if I’m looking for something to help me traverse the sea, I’d rather have something closer to a pontoon boat than a pine needle to float on.

    Despite the barely existent waves on this lake, and even they felt like a tsunami threatening to flip me over. Kim and the kids got to use tandem kayaks, which the employee described as very stable and almost impossible to tip. The way she described mine made me feel like it was a foregone conclusion that I was going to drown or, best case scenario, have to be rescued by my children and towed back to shore with a raging case of hypothermia.

    Now, I was the one who suggested this activity, so I couldn’t exactly be the one who put the kibosh on the excursion due to cowardice. So I put on a brave face and got in the boat. The guide pushed me out into the water, and I immediately felt like death was imminent. I like to think of myself as a fairly athletic individual, but I felt as awkward and unstable as an elephant trying to balance on a basketball.

    Thankfully, she gave me a few tips: Don’t make any sudden movements. Try not to look behind you. Sit up straight and stay balanced.

    In retrospect — spoiler alert: I didn’t die! — I realized that those tips are just as useful for life as they are for sea kayaking.

    1. Don’t make any sudden movements. It’s not usually advisable to make sudden changes in life. Spontaneity is good, but best reserved for things of little consequence. Getting married, quitting a job, dropping out of school, or making an all-in investment with your life savings are not scenarios conducive to sudden movements.  But we can be very tempted to make them when we’re in periods of desolation, like when we’re stressed out, weary, lonely, afraid, or depressed. Those are uncomfortable seasons, and we’d do anything to get relief, so it’s tempting to go for a quick fix. This can lead to our life being tipped upside down and disastrous long-term consequences. 

    2. Try not to look behind you. Sure enough, there were some moments when I tried turning around to see what the kids were up to, and I got pretty wobbly. It’s good to learn from the past, but there is a danger in spending too much time looking backward. Otherwise, our life can drift off course, and we can end up in a place we don’t want to be. It’s always better and more stable to look in the direction you want to go.

    3. Sit up straight and stay balanced. Let’s be real: life balance is an impossible goal. Variables change too fast on any given day to maintain perfect equilibrium. But we’ve all experienced times when we’ve been leaning too far in one direction for too long. Like the season when Kim began to Wonderhunt, after feeling overwhelmed from being in constant caregiver mode. Of course, there are seasons of life in which certain responsibilities require an outsized amount of time and attention from us — like putting in overtime to finish a project at work or caring for a sick family member — but we must be on guard from staying in that mode for too long. Sleep in once in a while. Take a day off. Go for a long walk or spend an extra hour in prayer. Do whatever you can to restore some semblance of balance, or you’re facing a surefire recipe for an overturned life.

    In the end, we spent a little over an hour out on the lake. I followed the guide’s tips as best as I could, and gradually felt my confidence grow (or at least my panic subside). We all returned to shore safe and dry.

    Once I got the hang of things, I spent time on the water just floating, trying to soak in the beautiful scenery around me and savor the time with my family, taking mental snapshots of them as they glided into view. And this, too, is good advice for living.

    Sometimes we get stuck focusing on staying alive, and we forget to savor the gift of life.

  • The Complete Guide to Raising Your Kids To Be Rulebreakers Without Ruining Their Lives (or Yours)

    Kim and I are well-known for encouraging people to be more childlike and act more like kids. A few brave souls have asked (although I suspect countless others have wondered): How does this philosophy impact our role as parents?

    In other words, how does a parent walk the line between teaching kids to break rules that don’t exist, without descending into total anarchy?

    Great question.

    While it’s true that our kids regularly say “#Notarule” in its proper context during normal conversations, any speculation that our kids are living in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory is grossly exaggerated.

    Here are some thoughts on the matter. Your mileage may vary, but I believe there are some useful nuggets here, whether you’re a parent or not.

    A Parent’s First Job is Parenting.

    First and foremost, we are our kids’ parents, not their friends or playmates or butlers. No one else has this job, so if we don’t do it, our kids will be screwed, destined to live life as soft, spoiled, entitled, selfish little scoundrels. I think they deserve better.

    And so it falls on us to teach them manners and accountability and forgiveness and generally how to not be dirtbags. The challenge is that this takes a lot of work, which is why many people prefer to delegate it to someone else. It requires the willingness to be the “bad guy,” to say no, and to enforce the law. This, in turn, requires patience, perseverance, self-confidence, and at least a little stubbornness (with the latter being our strongest trait). 

    We are very proud when someone at a restaurant compliments us on how well-behaved our kids are, because we know how much work and consistency go into it. We are also certain they might have a different opinion if they lived with these minions every single day, like we do.

    Kids Need Rules.

    With a degree in early childhood education, Kim is well-versed in the research that shows kids need structure and routine in order to feel safe, grow, and thrive. As such, although our schedule is flexible, we run a pretty orderly household, complete with consistent bedtimes, cleanup routines, and behavioral expectations (right now we’re working on not interrupting someone while they are talking, which, at this rate, they should master by the time they leave for college).

    In our home, there are plenty of rules that DO exist, and there are consequences for breaking them, just like in the real world. We merely advocate the overthrow of rules that DON’T exist. Fortunately, there are plenty of them within the realm of parenthood.

    Parents Need Backbones.

    If he had his druthers, my son Ben would wear pajamas all day long, every single day, for the rest of his life. Once in a while, we let him roll with his own wardrobe choices because, if I’m being really honest about it, the only reason I wouldn’t let him wear his pajamas to the grocery store is because I was concerned about what other people would think of my parenting.

    And frankly, that’s why more parents don’t let their kids break rules that don’t exist. They care too much about what other people would think of them if they did. 

    Kids deserve parents with enough self-confidence to allow them to be themselves and not conform to an expectation that only exists because it’s always existed. 

    Once in a While is Not the Same as Always.

    My friend Eliz sets aside one day a year as the “Day of Yes.” On this particular day, this mother of twins says yes to any and all reasonable requests, particularly the things she normally says no to. My sister-in-law once took her daughter to the midnight screening of the first Twilight movie. On a school night.

    Now, the key to these examples is that both of these moms run a pretty tight ship. Rules are enforced, and the kids are well-behaved. The only reason it’s special is that it doesn’t happen all the time. Parents who always let their kids eat dessert first are doormats. Parents who never let their kids eat dessert first have a stick up their butt. The magic is in the middle. 

    Don’t Fear the Why.

    One thing Kim and I try to practice is an openness to our kids’ “Why?” questions. Practice is the key word here, as “Because I said so” slips out from time to time. The truth is, whether you are a parent, a manager, or a CEO, forcing yourself to answer why you do things a certain way is a great way to ferret out rules that don’t exist. If you have a clear answer, you find yourself smack dab in the middle of a teachable moment. If not, you very well may have stumbled upon a rule that’s begging to be broken.

    Tinker.

    Empowering your kids to break rules that don’t exist is not a one-size-fits-all proposition. Some parents are naturally more lenient, while others tend to be more strict. A lenient parent might jump at the idea of Barbarian Spaghetti(which is a spaghetti dinner with no plates), while a stricter one might recoil in horror. 

    The secret is to start where you are. Just tinker. Step out of your comfort zone in a premeditated way. If Barbarian Spaghetti seems a bit intimidating, then just have breakfast for dinner. Or eat dessert first. Decorate ugly cookies. Push back bedtime to celebrate a special occasion. You don’t have to blow your comfort zone away with a nuclear-powered bazooka. Go at it with a pea shooter, and work your way up from there.

    How to Make a Hard Job Easier.

    Being a bad parent is easy. Being a good parent is incredibly hard. Being a great parent is damn near impossible. As for perfect parents? They’re like unicorns and easy-to-open Barbie packaging; they don’t exist. 

    We believe that you can’t be truly great at anything if you’re not injecting some measure of fun. Although we take our job as parents very seriously, we try not to take ourselves too seriously, and that seems to make the hard parts go more smoothly.

    Case in point:

    The Most Important Thing.

    The rallying cry of “Escape Adulthood” is not about forgoing all responsibility so we can engage in silly, trivial pursuits all day long. Rather, it’s about breaking free from the safe, boring, and predictable version of adulthood that traps most people, and bringing those childlike sensibilities into our daily lives so that we can stress less and have more fun.

    Kim and I want our kids to be curious, dream big, enjoy life, and value experiences over stuff. The best way to do that is to model those qualities ourselves. Because the adage “Do what I say and not what I do” is (and always has been) a myth. 

    “Your actions are speaking so loudly, I can’t hear a word you’re saying.”

    -Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Telling an amazing story with our lives — one filled with magic and meaning and wonder and love — makes it more likely our kids will do the same with theirs. 

    Alas, that’s the hard part. You get that down, and parenting is a piece of cake.