Every time I say no, I actually mean yes.
(What, am I the two-headed monster from Sesame Street?)
I know it’s confusing, but hear me out. It looks like this…
“No. I can’t connect for a long-overdue playdate on Friday morning,” actually means…
“Yes. I will take the morning to clean since we have people coming over on Saturday. If I can clean during the day on Friday, then I won’t have to stay up late on Friday night cleaning after the kids go to bed, and I’ll be able to be well-rested for our visitors which will help me enjoy the time more. I’ll also get quality time with Jason after the kids go to bed, which is rejuvenating and fills up my cup.”
“No. I will not add more work hours to my week, even though I feel like it would be helpful since my inbox is constantly overflowing,” actually means…
“Yes. I will make the commitment to put the kids first and be their primary caregiver each morning and two full days during the week, which allows me to find a healthy balance between the chores, ‘ourschooling,’ and the everyday management of the house, bills, etc., so that we can preserve our treasured Sabbath each week for rest and refueling.”
“No. I will not host a big extended family birthday party for my kids, even though there is social pressure to do so,” actually means…
“Yes. I will reallocate the money and energy we would spend on a big party to make each of their birthdays special by taking advantage of the freedom we have (as a homeschooling and self-employed family) to dedicate each of their actual special days to create amazing memories as a family of five.”
No is not negative (Sorry English teachers everywhere!).
No means…Yes.
Instead of feeling guilty about your no’s…
Instead of feeling resentful about what you can’t do…
Instead of feeling judged by your decisions…
Own your No.
It’s really a Yes.