Escape Adulthood

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Do You See the Magic Sitting Right Next to You?

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We finally made it to Victoria in British Columbia after hearing about it from so many travelers who spoke of it with stars in their eyes. Kim and I have always had a thing for the Pacific Northwest, but between the mountain views, the ocean air, and the old British charm, it didn't disappoint. When we were preparing to board the ferry to return to the States, the customs officer seemed genuinely shocked to hear from us that people referred to it as a magical place. "Huh," he shrugged. "I don't know about that." I was surprised by his response, and a little saddened. I suppose I shouldn't have been. It's easy to take for granted the things that are familiar to us. So who is right? The people who see Victoria as a magical place? Or the officer who sees nothing out of the ordinary? I'd say they both are. The truth is that so much of what we get out of life depends on our perspective. Of course, that perspective may spring forth from our circumstance, but we always have …

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When Your Life Feels a Little Off, Try This

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When I’m working on a painting, I have to step back from time to time. I have to literally stop the activity of painting and be still before the work. You might think it slows down the process. What it really does is help me make better paintings. Otherwise, I can’t see the painting through the brushstrokes. If I don’t step away every so often, I’m liable to get stuck overdoing part of the painting and end up ruining the whole thing. Giving myself some distance helps me notice things I can’t see when I’m up close. I can examine the overall composition, the balance of color, and if the values are working well together. If I get a feeling that something’s not quite right, stepping back and taking a look at the big picture can help me pinpoint the problem. Sometimes, I simply step back to admire what I’ve created. One of my favorite parts of making art are the moments of pride I have when something turns out so well that I can hardly believe I did it. The same is true of our …

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Something New to Try in the Bedroom

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"Fork & Spoon" by Jason Kotecki. Prints available here. I’ve been married for almost 18 years. Every single night that I’m at home, I sleep on the right side of the bed. Why? How did that come about? I don’t ever remember having a discussion about it with Kim, and yet, here we are; our assigned spots have not changed since the day we got hitched. Weird. Why do we do any of the things we do? The little habits that make up our days, where did they come from? Which way do you take to work? How do you typically run your meetings? On-board new employees? Welcome new customers? Deal with angry ones? What's the first thing you do when you get out of bed in the morning? How do you acknowledge the birthdays of the special people in your life? What kind of cookies do you make for Christmas? We have too many things to think about and process in a given day, so we help ourselves out by putting a lot of the routine stuff on autopilot. The problem is that we rarely re-evaluate …

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“Go Big or Go Home” is a Dumb Way of Doing Things

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I was speaking in Reno about one of the most controversial "rules" I wrote about in Penguins Can’t Fly, which is “Thou shalt not swap sides of the bed.” Just the mention of it can give people who have been in long-term relationships the heebie-jeebies. Shortly thereafter, an attendee named Laura emailed me to tell me she had tried it with her husband. “He was hilarious,” she wrote, “and he did not like it at all. We were laughing so hard through the whole thing!” That same day, I got a note from Jeff, who heard me speak in New Orleans the week before. He reported that my talk really hit home, especially the idea of tinkering. He said, “I fall into the trap of telling my daughter how to do things far too often, rather than letting her tinker and figure out the way that works best for her. Thank you for helping me to take a step back and let people around me figure things out on their own.” These are my favorite kind of emails to get. On the surface, they don’t appear to be …

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Why You Shouldn’t Accept That Promotion

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What idiot says no to a raise? Chip Gaines, co-star of the hit TV show Fixer Upper, writes this about his dad in the book Capital Gaines: "When I lived at home, he was willing to forego promotions and advancements at work just to have more time to throw a baseball with me in the evenings. He was teaching me the game, but on another level, he was showing me how to be a man and a father. He taught me the value of investing in one’s family above anything else.” We almost always consider promotions and advancements at work to be the best thing for ourselves and our families. And they might very well be. But more impressive titles, bigger paychecks, and better offices are also good for our pride. Sometimes a promotion serves no one but ourself. Look, struggling to make ends meet is never fun. Growing into an opportunity that gives us some financial breathing room and provides our family more options can be a real blessing. But we should never lose sight of the fact that the …

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Lessons in Adultitis Fighting from the Revolutionary War

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"War Games" by Jason Kotecki. Digital. Prints and canvas reproductions available here. I was thinking about the American Revolutionary War the other day (because I like keeping up on current events), and a few things struck me. I imagine it would have been easy for the American colonists to look at all the advantages held by the British and wallow in the land of “Must Be Nice”... They have the most powerful navy in the whole world...must be nice. They have way more professionally trained soldiers than we do...must be nice. They have a ton of money to buy food, supplies, and mercenaries for hire...must be nice. They have sweet red road uniforms...must be nice. It’s easy to lament the advantages other people enjoy and languish in envy and disappointment. This only serves to assure defeat. The truth is, everyone has a must be nice (probably several), and we are better served spending our time figuring out what they are and using them to our full advantage. …

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The Magic Question That Will Make You The Most Innovative Person You Know

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The world is changing at an ever-increasing pace. Meanwhile, most of us are being asked to do more with less. The answer to a prosperous and glorious future, it seems, is innovation. That’s all well and good, except for the fact that innovation is often regarded as one step away from sorcery. It is reserved for the super smart, super creative, or super inhabitants of Silicon Valley. Hogwash. You can be more innovative, right now, today. (I don't care if you are reading this in your pajamas or your hair looks like it just took on a tornado.) The dictionary tells us that innovation is merely the introduction of a new and better method, idea or thing. That's it. So yeah, the iPhone was a pretty ginormous innovation. But you know what else was? The person who came up with the idea to put tennis balls on walkers. Apparently they add value somehow, because every walker I've ever seen has one on each leg. Contrary to popular belief, innovation can be easy, but only if you …

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Purple People

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If you are reading this, you are in an amazing company of people. Seriously. I hope that you get value out of these weekly messages from me, but there is so much inspiration to be found within this merry band of Adultitis Fighters! Of course we highlight some of them with our Adultitis Fighter of the Month award, but that’s just scratching the surface. A few weeks ago, I wrote about purple goats. Maybe you had to be there, but you can read that post here. The idea was about how we can make a big difference in our families and workplaces by making a conscious decision to stand out. I challenged everyone to be a little more “purple,” and share the results. Here are some of my favorite examples: Melissa Webster has only been working for her company for a few months, but in her role of sending internal communications, she is already gaining a reputation for having emails worth reading for their light-hearted entertainment value alone. She gives out virtual high fives, apology poems …

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The Post-It Noted Desk

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Once upon a time, a woman named Janie went to a professional development conference for her job. After being out of the office for several days, she returned to work to find her desk had been vandalized. More specifically, it was aggressively "post-it noted" by two "fun, funny, and amazing co-workers." (Her words.) She reported, "It was so great to see and read what they wrote, I felt this lift like you can't imagine." In a related story, Adultitis was heard nearby weeping silently in a restroom stall. It's no secret that the workplace is one of Adultitis' favorite breeding grounds. But it doesn't have to be. Everyone goes on vacation. Or gets sick once in a while. Why couldn't you have everyone in the office write one thing they admire about that person on a post-it note while they are away? How much time would that require? How much money would you have to allocate in the budget for this? What sort of impact do you think that would make? In case you're …

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Purple Goats

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One my favorite books is "Purple Cow" by Seth Godin. Sounds a little like a children's book, but the premise of this marketing classic is that brown cows are not very interesting. Purple cows, on the other hand, are remarkable. They get people talking. Godin suggests that in order to stand out in business, you need to become a "purple cow." I saw this in action during a recent vacation in Door County, Wisconsin. We were at the famous Al Johnson's restaurant, where they have goats hanging out on the grass-covered roof. We happened to be seated near a window where we could watch passersby looking at the goats. Almost everyone was taking pictures, their smiling faces lit with joy. I guarantee you that if the same group of goats were in a fenced-in paddock a half mile down the road, there would be no crowd, no cameras, no joy. But on the bright green roof of a restaurant on a busy street in the middle of town? Different story. Interesting, huh? By the way, the food is also …

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