No rain, no flowers. Maybe it’s trite. But it’s also true. It may sound like optimism, and it is, but it’s also scientific fact. No pressure, no diamond. No fire, no s’mores. Why do life’s hard parts surprise us? We can look around see examples all around us that the good stuff never comes easy. The best night’s sleep comes after the hardest day’s work. We all want our lives to be awesome but then we yell at they sky when our comfortable little existence is disturbed. I, for one, am grateful that God ignores my whiny, short-sided complaints in order to grant the desires of my heart. Some of the best, most rewarding things that ever happened to me were born from struggle and pain and circumstances I never would have chosen for myself. When you’re in the middle of one of life’s downpours, it can be hard to believe a bouquet of something great is right around the corner. Maybe that’s trite, too. But that doesn’t mean it’s not true. It's definitely something we …
Are You Leading the League?
With the Major League Baseball season heading into the All-Star break, a quick glance at the statistical leaders reveals that I am not leading the National League (or the American League, for that matter) in home runs. Truthfully, I’m not even close. Of course, there is one important detail that probably matters somewhat: I don’t actually play professional baseball. I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s pretty ridiculous to beat myself up for not leading the league in home runs if I’m not a professional baseball player. And yet we regularly feel bad about ourselves for being lousy at games we’re not even playing. Weird. Just because we don’t think of them as "games" in the same way we think of baseball as a game, doesn't mean we haven't devised ways to keep score at the activities in which we participate. Rather than tracking home runs, we measure things like money, body weight, square footage, degrees, status, accolades, connections, sales, prestige, and fame. For instance, …
You Learned This in School, But it Won’t Help You Now
Recently, I was conducting a day-long workshop in Vancouver for a group of business owners. I was encouraging them to get intentional about what they wanted out of life. I’m surprised at how often this step gets neglected. It’s important, because until we are clear on what we’re aiming for, we’ll end up aimlessly drifting along with the current, mindlessly following rules that don’t exist, while wasting time and energy making choices that don’t serve us well. One attendee asked, “But what if we don’t know what we want?” I don’t remember what I said in the moment, but I have thought about that question ever since. I’m not sure that “not knowing what we want” is a thing. I think we’re just too afraid of picking “wrong.” Most of us come from a school system in which we are taught that there are right answers and wrong ones. Everything we do is verified and validated by someone else. Of course, math and spelling and historical dates are binary: Right or wrong. But in school, …
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The Best Policy is the One You Make Up After You Read This
If you’ve been following along for a while here, you know that I am a big proponent of breaking rules (particularly the ones that don’t exist.) What might surprise you is that I am equally cool with creating them, too, as long as you’re clear on the reason. I want to share with you one of the most liberating concepts I’ve come across, and believe it or not, it involves making and abiding by strict rules. It’s the idea of creating personal policies. You're well aware of how big companies devise all kinds of policies to protect their interests. You’ve heard it dozens of times: “I’m sorry ma’am, that’s not our policy,” or “Sorry sir, our policy clearly states...” As frustrating and ridiculous as some of these policies can be, you know that there’s not much you can do about them. They’re usually written by lawyers and backed up by loads of bureaucracy. If you’ve ever arrived at your departure gate at the airport fifteen seconds after they’ve closed the door, you know their …
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Do You See the Magic Sitting Right Next to You?
We finally made it to Victoria in British Columbia after hearing about it from so many travelers who spoke of it with stars in their eyes. Kim and I have always had a thing for the Pacific Northwest, but between the mountain views, the ocean air, and the old British charm, it didn't disappoint. When we were preparing to board the ferry to return to the States, the customs officer seemed genuinely shocked to hear from us that people referred to it as a magical place. "Huh," he shrugged. "I don't know about that." I was surprised by his response, and a little saddened. I suppose I shouldn't have been. It's easy to take for granted the things that are familiar to us. So who is right? The people who see Victoria as a magical place? Or the officer who sees nothing out of the ordinary? I'd say they both are. The truth is that so much of what we get out of life depends on our perspective. Of course, that perspective may spring forth from our circumstance, but we always have …
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When Your Life Feels a Little Off, Try This
When I’m working on a painting, I have to step back from time to time. I have to literally stop the activity of painting and be still before the work. You might think it slows down the process. What it really does is help me make better paintings. Otherwise, I can’t see the painting through the brushstrokes. If I don’t step away every so often, I’m liable to get stuck overdoing part of the painting and end up ruining the whole thing. Giving myself some distance helps me notice things I can’t see when I’m up close. I can examine the overall composition, the balance of color, and if the values are working well together. If I get a feeling that something’s not quite right, stepping back and taking a look at the big picture can help me pinpoint the problem. Sometimes, I simply step back to admire what I’ve created. One of my favorite parts of making art are the moments of pride I have when something turns out so well that I can hardly believe I did it. The same is true of our …
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How to Change the World Even if You’re Not an Avenger
"I've Got Sunshine" by Jason Kotecki. Prints available here. I want to change the world. I want to make a dent in the universe. I want my legacy to last for generations after I die. Talk about an oversized ego. I believe that my motives are pure, but the trouble is, I often forget that the best way to change the world is in simple ways, starting today. After all, even if the sun is shining outside, we encounter people every day who are in the middle of a dark time. My wife is great at taking advantage of the small ways she can bring light into the lives of people around her. Her thoughtuflness results in small actions, but they make a real impact. Baking Valentine’s Day brownies for a widow next door. Sending a funny gif to a friend having a rough day. Complimenting and engaging in a meaningful conversation with the grocery delivery guy. These small rays of sunshine don’t generate standing ovations or front-page headlines, but they might be more meaningful. And they …
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Becoming a Professional Giver
"Glorious Purpose" by Jason Kotecki. Prints available here. A professional giver. I’m not sure it's something anyone aspires to when they are a little kid. A professional athlete or musician? Sure. But a professional giver? Is that even a thing? I first heard the term last year from my mentor, Noah, who was challenging Kim and me to take things to the next level. We've had a pretty good run of success with our business, and he invited us to to take a wider view. He encouraged us to begin looking at ourselves as professional givers. The premise is to start thinking of it as your job to give away as much money as you can, then plan (and act) accordingly. Now, I started this business for two reasons. I wanted to make a living doing what I loved, and I wanted help as many people as I could while doing it. No one was putting out want ads for artists looking to help people recapture their childlike spirit, so my options were limited. It took an enormous amount of faith to start …
Something New to Try in the Bedroom
"Fork & Spoon" by Jason Kotecki. Prints available here. I’ve been married for almost 18 years. Every single night that I’m at home, I sleep on the right side of the bed. Why? How did that come about? I don’t ever remember having a discussion about it with Kim, and yet, here we are; our assigned spots have not changed since the day we got hitched. Weird. Why do we do any of the things we do? The little habits that make up our days, where did they come from? Which way do you take to work? How do you typically run your meetings? On-board new employees? Welcome new customers? Deal with angry ones? What's the first thing you do when you get out of bed in the morning? How do you acknowledge the birthdays of the special people in your life? What kind of cookies do you make for Christmas? We have too many things to think about and process in a given day, so we help ourselves out by putting a lot of the routine stuff on autopilot. The problem is that we rarely re-evaluate …
A New Way of Looking at Life Balance
"Life Balance" by Jason Kotecki. Prints available here. I want to die at a ripe old age, completely close-minded, resistant to change, and stubbornly set in my ways. Said no one ever. And yet, that’s the path most of us find ourselves on. As we grow older, we tend to grow more rigid, both in body and mind. We’ve had plenty of time to institutionalize our preferences and weed out the things we don’t like. Meanwhile, we become a perfect host for Adultitis. One way to stay young and lively is to continue inviting new experiences, environments, and points of view into our life. Everyone is searching for a balanced life, the one in which you magically have time to do everything you’ve always wanted and still have time to put your feet up and sip a glass of wine. I'm pretty sure that's not a real thing, but there’s another kind of balance to consider, which is way more important. Some thoughts... If you have a lot of friends on one side of the political spectrum, …
