I would like to tell you the story of the greatest milkshake ever made. Although it happened in Wisconsin, the land of dairy cows, it could have been anywhere and it could have been concocted by anyone. It was made in January, a month not particularly ideal for milkshakes, at least in Wisconsin. The hourglass of my father-in-law's life was down to its last grains of sand. Gary suffered from severe rheumatoid arthritis since being diagnosed as his marriage was just getting started, And he suffered heroically. I don't think there was a day he wasn't in pain, although most days, you …
From Gold Stars to Gut Checks: Grading What Matters Most
My dad tells a story from his childhood when he received a report card with less than stellar marks. He didn't want to show his mom but knew she'd have to sign it before he returned it to his teacher. So he had the bright idea of placing gold foil stars over the offending grades, explaining they were a new sign of stellar performance. Once the signature was secured, he joyfully skipped to school, chucking the carefully peeled-off stars to the wind. Years later, when cleaning out Grandma's things, we found the evidence: an old brittle report card with a few stars still holding on for dear …
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Hooked on Love: Seeing Loved Ones with New Ears
The other day I was minding my own business, and I was reminded of a song from my college years. I came across a video of the performance of the song "Hook" by Blues Traveler. It had been a long time since I heard the song, but it was a gift to hear it with new ears. John Popper made that harmonica do things I didn't think harmonicas could do. I always liked that song, but I remember souring on Blues Traveler pretty hard because, for a time in the nineties, every speaker in every store and every corner of the world was playing one of their songs. It turns out that …
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Ghosts In The Road
It was like driving through a sea of black ink. The trip back to our hotel from the Lamar Valley was harrowing. It being Yellowstone, the specter of animals hanging out on the road is always a possibility. We'd reveled in the wildlife of the North American Serengeti, but now the sun was gone and darkness blanketed the winding way home. My knuckles were white on the steering wheel and Kim's clear anxiety was less than helpful. We snaked around curve after curve, my eyes peeled for any signs of movement. Then we saw it: a small coyote trotting down the middle of the road. As we came upon …
Love Is In The Air
This painting is called "Love is in the Air." Our eyes draw us to the billowing steam from the geyser forming the shape of a heart. Indeed, it is a fitting representation of the way most of our society views love. Like the steam, it is a little mysterious, always changing, and dependent on which way the wind is blowing. Love is regarded as a fleeting feeling evident on a wedding day but which vanishes at some point in the ensuing years when life gets hard. I would like to invite us to look for a different, better metaphor for true love in this painting. Like the bison. The bison …
How to Turn the Tide Against Adultitis
Your team is in bad shape. Here you are in the playoffs, and you're losing. Even though you're somehow only down by six points, nothing is going right. You were flying high earlier in the game, leading by two scores. Everything was clicking. And then... A turnover and two huge penalties gave your opponent some easy scores. None of the plays you're calling are working. Your best running back got injured and is out for the game. Your players are growing more discouraged as each second melts off the clock. Now the other team has the ball and they're driving down the field. If they score a …
Tinkering: The Missing Piece in Your Problem-Solving Toolkit
Imagine sitting at your kitchen table with a thousand puzzle pieces scattered before you. A small island of interconnected pieces has taken shape. They were easy—the only face in the whole scene. You reach for a piece that looks like it could be part of the person's hair. After rotating it and testing the fit a few times, you confirm it's not the right one. Then, angered that it didn't work, you toss the entire table over in a furious rage. With pieces flying in every direction, you swear off jigsaw puzzles forever, convince yourself you stink at them, and remind yourself that you always …
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A Ridiculously Easy Way to Rekindle a Friendship
"I Just Called to Say I Love You" is a famous Stevie Wonder song. It's also the title of this painting. One word in that title might be more important than all the others. We'll get to that in a sec. When my wife Kim and I were dating, we'd spend hours and hours on the phone, talking late into the night, racking up phone bills that if bound together, would make the longest Harry Potter book look like a pamphlet. This was in the days when phones were attached to walls and the "call waiting" feature was a source of civil war for any siblings also angling for phone rights. My personal …
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How to Help Someone Who Is Grieving
My young traveling companion poked me on the elbow with a request I didn't see coming. From the moment Kim and I made the decision to move ahead with taking Ginny on her first Daddy Daughter trip despite the storm that had wrought havoc on our home, my mind was in overdrive. From forcing it to focus on what needed to land in my suitcase, to finding a gas station that had power so we could refuel, to asking the gate agent if he could make sure our seats were together, my brain was busy anticipating and solving every challenge that presented itself on our journey to …
How Real Love is Like a Grilled Cheese Sandwich
Everyone thinks the excitement that accompanies the start of a relationship is the best. Granted, it IS intoxicating. Everything is new and mysterious. You’re wondering if the other person just likes you or actually "likes you" likes you. A simple touch ignites an inferno of passion. There’s so much to talk about as you’re constantly learning new things about one another. That way he chews, and that way she steals your jacket when she’s cold, is still cute and endearing. There’s no doubt about it: The beginning of a new relationship is pretty great. But then again, in the …
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