Relationships

- - - | written by Jason on 4/16/2023 | - - -

A Ridiculously Easy Way to Rekindle a Friendship

"I Just Called to Say I Love You" is a famous Stevie Wonder song. It's also the title of this painting. One word in that title might be more important than all the others. We'll get to that in a sec. When my wife Kim and I were dating, we'd spend hours and hours on the phone, talking late into the night, racking up phone bills that if bound together, would make the longest Harry Potter book look like a pamphlet. This was in the days when phones were attached to walls and the "call waiting" feature was a source of civil war for any siblings also angling for phone rights. My personal …

- - - | written by Jason on 7/10/2022 | - - -

How to Help Someone Who Is Grieving

My young traveling companion poked me on the elbow with a request I didn't see coming. From the moment Kim and I made the decision to move ahead with taking Ginny on her first Daddy Daughter trip despite the storm that had wrought havoc on our home, my mind was in overdrive. From forcing it to focus on what needed to land in my suitcase, to finding a gas station that had power so we could refuel, to asking the gate agent if he could make sure our seats were together, my brain was busy anticipating and solving every challenge that presented itself on our journey to …

- - - | written by Jason on 2/9/2020 | - - -

How Real Love is Like a Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Everyone thinks the excitement that accompanies the start of a relationship is the best. Granted, it IS intoxicating. Everything is new and mysterious. You’re wondering if the other person just likes you or actually "likes you" likes you. A simple touch ignites an inferno of passion. There’s so much to talk about as you’re constantly learning new things about one another. That way he chews, and that way she steals your jacket when she’s cold, is still cute and endearing. There’s no doubt about it: The beginning of a new relationship is pretty great. But then again, in the …

- - - | written by Jason on 10/27/2019 | - - -

The Easiest Way Leave a Powerful Legacy

Mr. Olsen had written a series of math problems across several chalkboards. The avalanche of white scribbles was overwhelming, but not impossible. “Anyone who gets them all correct,” he told his fifth grade class, “will get a sucker.” Sheryl was one of five students who were up to the task. Unfortunately, the teacher said he only had four suckers, and was forced to ask if anyone would be willing to give up theirs. Sheryl said she would. Mr. Olsen thanked her, and proceeded with the rest of the school day.Before the students were dismissed that afternoon, Mr. Olsen asked Sheryl to stay after …

- - - | written by Jason on 10/13/2019 | - - -

The Magic of Making Deposits

Try this: Starting today, stop making deposits into your checking account. But continue writing checks to pay your bills. What happens when you write a check the day after your money runs out? It's pretty easy to see the financial lesson here. What’s interesting is that we can apply the same lesson to relationships. So many parents tell me what a struggle it is to get their kids to do anything. They always have to get after them to get up and ready for school, do their homework, eat their vegetables, pick up after themselves, look presentable for church, etc. It’s …

- - - | written by Jason on 9/28/2019 | - - -

Walk Your Way to a Better Marriage

Kim and I doing one of our favorite things: walking. We’ve been walking since our earliest days together, back when we couldn’t afford to run the air conditioning in our apartment and a trip to Pizza Hut was a real splurge. Over nineteen years into our marriage, and I am convinced it is one of the biggest keys to keeping it fresh. We brainstorm business ideas, talk about the kids, explore our faith, hash out our struggles, work through problems, dream of the future, and sometimes just admire the scenery. Even after all these years, we never run out of stuff to talk about. My parents have …

- - - | written by Jason on 11/4/2018 | - - -

A Tale of Two Trees: Thoughts on Life, Death and Regret

I was in a small country cemetery recently, thinking about autumn and life and the end of another baseball season, when I saw these trees. All of them marching toward the sleep of winter, the one on the right still filled with leaves, another with only a few left to give. I wondered, “Which one am I?” As of this writing, I am forty-two years old. No spring sapling, that’s for sure. I’m old enough and experienced enough to know that I could be either tree. I think about death a lot, mostly because it helps me think about my life, and how well I’m spending it. Anniversaries are piling …

- - - | written by Jason on 6/3/2018 | - - -

Do You See the Magic Sitting Right Next to You?

We finally made it to Victoria in British Columbia after hearing about it from so many travelers who spoke of it with stars in their eyes. Kim and I have always had a thing for the Pacific Northwest, but between the mountain views, the ocean air, and the old British charm, it didn't disappoint. When we were preparing to board the ferry to return to the States, the customs officer seemed genuinely shocked to hear from us that people referred to it as a magical place. "Huh," he shrugged. "I don't know about that." I was surprised by his response, and a little saddened. I suppose I …

- - - | written by Jason on 5/20/2018 | - - -

How To Make Your Marriage Feel Brand New

"Tingly" by Jason Kotecki. Prints available here. I recently read a pretty incredible assessment of marriage. It was written by my friend Scott, who was reacting to the habit our culture has of framing marriage as the end of freedom. Acquiring the ball and chain. Hitched. Tied down. Game over. Refreshingly, Scott countered with this: “Marriage is the ultimate form of freedom. Freedom to be our true selves, freedom to let our guards down and be vulnerable, and freedom to fart as loudly as possible without being judged. When I was single and struggling to find someone to share my life, …

- - - | written by Jason on 11/12/2017 | - - -

The Magic Question That Will Make You The Most Innovative Person You Know

The world is changing at an ever-increasing pace. Meanwhile, most of us are being asked to do more with less. The answer to a prosperous and glorious future, it seems, is innovation. That’s all well and good, except for the fact that innovation is often regarded as one step away from sorcery. It is reserved for the super smart, super creative, or super inhabitants of Silicon Valley. Hogwash. You can be more innovative, right now, today. (I don't care if you are reading this in your pajamas or your hair looks like it just took on a tornado.) The dictionary tells us that innovation is …