"Life's A Wave" by Jason Kotecki. 24 x 30 Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD. Prints and canvas reproductions available here. The familiar pit formed at the bottom of my stomach like a butterfly battle royal on pay per view. It developed after my mom answered the phone and told me it was for me. When I was younger, I was afraid of just about everything. New situations always brought an enormous level of anxiety, and phone calls delivered a special level of dread. It was a classmate on the other end, asking if I wanted to come over to play. For most people this would be great news, not a situation worth getting nauseous over. But I was not most people. I've never been keen on having my plans changed at the last minute. I had a whole day planned of doing nothing ahead of me. Not to mention, I'd never been to Chris' house before. Talk about a new situation! It was clearly a sensory overload too treacherous for a lazy Saturday. I quickly mumbled some excuse about how My …
Don’t Turn Every Could Into a Should
Sometimes I think I'm superheroic. Sometimes I'm just slow. It probably shouldn't have taken 41 years to have a realization that I recently had, but better late than never, right? I'm going to share it in the hopes that it might be a useful revelation for you as well: Just because you come across a good idea doesn’t mean you have to add it to your to-do list. Let me explain. Many opportunities cross my path on a regular basis. Things to try, people to meet, organizations to join, books to read, and invitations to consider. What I normally do is run it through a quick filter in my head, looking for any potential positive outcomes. If I can't think of one, it immediately gets discarded. (I’ve never had the opportunity to bathe in a pool filled with piranhas, but it’s an example of something I’d discard.) Here’s the problem. If I do think of something good — anything! — that is likely to result from this opportunity, it automatically goes onto my to-do list. Maybe it doesn't …
What if You Knew The Numbers?
Kim and I recently took the kids to their first Cubs game. It was a beautiful day, Wrigley Field was as friendly as usual, and we reveled in singing "Go Cubs, Go" after they sealed the win against the Giants. We often see first times coming. We prepare for them and anticipate them with the excitement of a little kid on Christmas Eve. The last times have a habit of sneaking up on us, though. We have a digital frame in our kitchen that rotates old family photographs. I find myself regularly spying an old snapshot of one of my kids and thinking to myself, "She was never that little, was she?" As of this writing, my oldest is only eight, but the pictures feel a century old. The other day, Kim commented on a photo of our son when we was an infant. "Some days," she said, "I'd give just about anything to hold that little baby one more time." I agreed. It occurred to me that although I held that little baby many times -- often in a sleep-deprived and grouchy state -- there was also a last …
The Practical Side of Playing Make Believe
Sometimes playing "make believe" is the most practical thing you can do. Remember The Land of Make Believe, made famous by Mr. Rogers? Let’s go there for a quick trip: Pretend you just won the lottery. Power Ball. After paying taxes, you now have $150 million in the bank. Sweet. Now what? What would you do next? What's your ideal life? How would you spend your days? Where would you spend them? And with whom? Go ahead, don’t be shy or limited by what’s “practical.” Shoot for the moon. We're in the Land of Make Believe, remember? Would your life look any different than it does right now? For most people the answer is probably yes, at least a little bit. Now, as much as I'd like to wave a magic wand and make all that fantasy a reality, there is some practicality in all this daydreaming. You just put a pin in the map. By identifying a destination, you can now see what direction you want to go. Yes, it might seem a million miles away. That's ok. The important …
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How To Find Your Passion in Two Easy Steps
How can I be happier? What am I supposed to do with my life? How do I follow my passion if I don't know what it is? Big questions. Common questions. And the answers might be hidden in our childhood. Seeds are often planted in our childhood that serve as clues to what we’re supposed to spend our time doing as grown-ups. Sometimes we just need to engage in a little detective work to figure out what they mean. I got an email recently from someone who was reading my first book and wrote to tell me her favorite part: So far my favorite part is in Chapter 4, Live Passionately. You tell us to think back to what we wanted to be when we grew up. I stopped there and shook my head since I wanted to be a hotel maid in Florida. HAHA You went on and said to think about the reason for having that passion. That was an eyeopener! A cleaned hotel room after playing all day in the hot sun gave me a peace and I wanted to share that feeling with others. So simple. Our desires as …
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How to Have Fun Doing Boring Adulty Chores
It’s easy to pine for the nostalgic, carefree days of childhood. The days when everything was simpler and you could eat a whole bag of candy without developing a stomachache or adding a single, solitary pound. Alas, as idyllic as childhood was for some, adulthood does have its share of perks, such as the ability to drive, decide where to go on vacation, and order strawberry margaritas at Mexican restaurants. But there is that whole “adulting” thing that cramps our style, complete with all those boring “adulty” things like paying bills, cutting grass, and vacuuming the floor. Ick. Good news! There are things that can be done to improve our situation and have a bit of fun doing the boring chores that accompany adulthood. However. Before we dive into these tips, we have to step back and ask an all-important question: does this boring, soul-crushing task actually have to be done? Consider these possibilities: 1) Just stop doing them. This is the best and easiest option. Of …
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How to Make Life Feel More Balance-y
I experienced work-life balance once. It lasted about 37 seconds, just like that one time I achieved inbox zero. Actually, I think I blacked out when it happened, so I can't confirm whether or not this so-called life balance thing actually exists. There is, however, such a thing as feeling overwhelmed from trying to do too much. Maybe all the extra activity we’re attempting to cram in is coming from our boss, our own unrealistic expectations, or the fact that we’re in a new season of life but are still trying to keep doing everything from the last one. Whatever the case may be, here are three tips to help you make your life feel more balance-y: 1) Realize that you can’t do everything. Some people think "life balance" is jamming EVERYTHING you want to do into your life while leaving just enough room to receive an Academy Award for being superhuman. Not gonna happen. The people you see who appear to have it all together don't. Something is falling by the wayside, whether or …
Saying Yes to Piggy Back Rides
One of Adultitis’ best tricks — and the one that trips me up the most — is getting us to believe that the most important things in life are merely distractions. My youngest daughter routinely asks me for piggy back rides. Most of the time I say yes. But sometimes I'm tired, or want to keep reading the book I just opened five seconds ago. And sometimes I’m too focused on the latest pet project that I'm convinced will deliver a windfall of profit and impact. The justification for brushing off this minor “distraction” of my daughter pestering me for a piggy back ride is that, in the end, this effort will bear fruit that will benefit us all. If I’m not careful, this so-called “drive” rockets me right by the stuff that really matters. Don’t get me wrong. Piggy back rides don’t pay the bills. Little worthwhile is accomplished without focus, hard work, and sacrifice. The challenge is how easy it is for this to become our default mode. Like a Ferrari flying down the highway, all …
Beware the Diminishing Returns of Chasing Success
Once you achieve a certain amount of success, it's easy to ruin it by chasing more. Especially when you start singing someone else's song. I have a speaker friend who, by his own admission, has a great life. He has more speaking requests than he can handle, has clients all over the world, and makes a very good living. He has an incredible amount of freedom in his day. Plus, he’s a happy newlywed. But he’s been talking about doing something about all the gigs he’s had to turn away. After all, he’s leaving money on the table, right? So there are plans to create a training program for other speakers so they can deliver his material. He’s considering hiring more staff to help facilitate the program and manage the extra business. Only one problem. I’m not sure he’s asked the question, “Do I want to spend an increasing amount of time managing people?” Because that’s a different business than the one he’s in right now, and his typical day will change dramatically. Now …
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Your Best Day Ever
My son Ben turned five recently. One of our favorite things about homeschooling is the freedom of schedule, which allows us to give our kids total control over the agenda on their birthday. And Ben was crystal clear on what he wanted. It started with cinnamon rolls and bacon for breakfast, followed by the opening of one present. Then a trip to the Lego store and lunch at Pizza Ranch (he loves the blueberry dessert pizza). When we got home, he requested that everyone change into their pajamas (which, I'll be honest, wasn't a tough sell.) The afternoon was spent putting the new Lego set together and playing nicely with his sisters. He requested "noodle pillows" (aka beef ravioli) -- with no sauce -- for dinner. The birthday dessert was peanut butter cookies, and after opening some presents his siblings bought with their own money, he finally got to watch the only Star Wars movie he hadn't yet seen. (Episode lll). As the evening wound down and I tucked him into …
