Kim and I recently realized we've been living a lie. Allow me to explain. Being close to water has always been high on our list of values. We dreamed of living on a lake since our earliest days together. When we lived in Madison and worked toward that goal, we spent a lot of time enjoying the four lakes that embraced the city. When we went on vacation, we faithfully followed a rule: make a point to get a place on the water. Well, we recently spent a long weekend in Door County, and once we cleared space on the calendar, the next step was securing lodging. Naturally, Kim's knee-jerk …
The Freedom in Hard Choices
Once upon a time, there was a couple. They had three kids and a good life. He made his living as an accountant and she was a doctor, but their real dream was to live on a ranch and breed dogs. One day, my wife Kim suggested they do that. The woman laughed. "It's not possible," she said. And so they didn't. The end. This is a true story, and similar stories just like it are lived out every day. Of course, the woman was wrong about it not being possible. Oh, she gave a list of reasons, but none of them made the option impossible. Risky, perhaps, or unconventional, or …
The Problem with Pursuing Happiness
Maybe Thomas Jefferson made a mistake. Maybe he never should have incorporated that line from John Locke into the Declaration of Independence, the one about the "pursuit of happiness." Nothing wrong with happiness, of course. Everyone wants it be happy. It's the pursuit that gets us into trouble. In the movie Jesus Revolution, the free-spirited Lonnie Frisbee has a conversation with a conservative pastor who is suspicious of hippies. Lonnie admits, "We might seem a little strange, but if you look deeper, if you look with love, you'll see a group of kids searching for all the …
48 Things I’ve Learned in 48 Years
Well, today is the day. The cultural event where millions of people are unified in celebration of what many have called the biggest secular holiday in the United States, and possibly the world. Of course, I'm referring to my birthday. I'm not sure how I'll mark the occasion, but perhaps there will be something interesting to watch on TV? đ #SuperbOwl It's true; as of today, I am 48 years old. Is that old? It feels kinda old, but still a few years shy of fifty, so that's something. I do relate to Margaret Atwood who believed, "Everyone else my age is an adult, whereas …
Far From Regular: A Secret Recipe for a Richer Life
Have you ever made your own frozen custard with milk you got from your own cows?Have you ever made cider from apples you picked from the orchard in your backyard?Have you ever been so self-sustaining that you only need to go to the grocery store once a month?Have you ever built your home from scratch with your own hands?I havenât.But I have friends who do all this and more. They are not Amish, and they are not "preppers," but the life they live is more reminiscent of Little House on the Prairie than Modern Family.They fascinate me. And the more I hear about their life, the more my heart sings. …
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In the Company of Dragonflies: Finding Clarity in the Chaos
Recently, my backyard was ground zero for a swarm of supposedly migrating dragonflies. I say "supposedly" because they didnât seem like they were doing anything remotely as organized as migrating. They zigged and zagged like a chaotic ballet of Red Bull-fueled teenagers at a rave pumping out music with a BPM of infinity. Despite their numbers, they seemed more silly than menacing. It's hard to fear something that appears so dumb and easily distracted. I can't help but compare them to geese, who are all business when it comes to migration. You can tell they're going someplace …
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Is Your Job Getting More Emotionally Expensive?
"Inflation is real. And I'm broke." This was shared with me by a woman in an organization for which I was preparing to speak. Although many people have struggled to keep up with the rising cost of goods, she wasn't referring to money. Over the past few years, some of the most important jobs in our society have grown more emotionally expensive, thanks to the pandemic and other factors. They are harder to do and there are fewer people willing to do them, yet we need them more than ever. Let's consider nurses as one example. They are carrying unsustainable patient loads and burning out …
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Recharging Your Dead Battery
Have you ever experienced a time when the battery on your phone was dead? I mean stone-cold dead. Not only would it not turn on, but it was so depleted that even after you plugged it in, you still couldn't use it for several minutes, despite the fact it was directly connected to a power source. Life is like that sometimes. Kim and I recently took an anniversary trip to Mackinac Island in Michigan. I bought a new journal, expecting to have a bunch of time to fill it with brilliant brainstorms and insights. Alas, when we made the return trip on the ferry, only four pages were …
What If This Were Easy?
We've planned and hosted a wedding almost every year for the past eleven years. We just happen to call them Escape Adulthood Summits. Sending out invitations. Finding a venue. Decorating said venue to create a magical vibe. Booking entertainment. Organizing not one, but at least three meals. Creating swag bags. And planning two days' worth of inspiring, entertaining, and hopefully life-changing content. We've never had elaborate tiered cakes, but we have had whoopie pies, s'mores, and an ice cream truck. We've loved putting them on. Especially the end result that comes from it. But …
Shiny Objects and Our Search for Meaning
They don't make Super Bowl rings like they used to. A recent speaking engagement in Ohio provided me the opportunity to take my son Ben along for a side trip to Canton, home of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. One of the standout displays was its collection of Super Bowl rings. You can see and compare every ring, from the first commemorating the Green Bay Packers' victory in Super Bowl I, to the one awarded to the LA Rams for winning Super Bowl LVI. The recent versions look less like rings and more like diamond-encrusted paperweights. The Super Bowl LVI ring is shaped like the …
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