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Thoughts On Missing Loved Ones During the Holidays

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In my book Penguins Can’t Fly, I wrote about the story of a young man I knew who had leukemia, and how his family and friends moved up Christmas a few months so he’d be able to celebrate his favorite holiday one more time. Well, unbeknownst to me, one of my speaking colleagues was good friends with Kevin’s mom. One day, shortly after the book came out, my colleague read her the passage in my book. Through the tears, Kevin’s mother expressed her great joy in finally have something new to share about her son. “My friends are always telling me new things about their kids," she said. "How they graduated with honors, got married, had their first child. I never had anything new to share. Now I do.” The other thing this mother told my friend was how sad she was that no one ever brought up Kevin in conversation. Oh, she knew it was because they were being sensitive and didn’t want to upset her. “What they don’t realize,” she explained, “Is that I want to talk about my son. I want to …

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14 Fantastic Christmas Gift Exchange Ideas

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One of the best parts of Christmas is opening up an unexpectedly awesome gift from a thoughtful giver. Even better is watching someone else open up the perfect gift you found for them. Unfortunately, the gift-giving part of the holidays often contributes a big part of the stress most people feel during the season. It’s not easy trying to find something nice for everyone on the list while fighting the bustling, crazy crowds and keeping the budget from ballooning like Santa on a post-Christmas cookie eating binge. A lot of families and work colleague save money by doing gift exchanges in which every person buys a gift for just one person, rather than everyone in the whole family. Names are drawn, a budget is set, and gifts are purchased. It’s budget-friendly, but can become a bit stale. Not anymore! Without further ado, here are some creative ideas for adding a fun twist to the standard gift exchange... Alphabet Gift Exchange. Draw names as usual, then have everyone …

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How to Keep Adultitis from Ruining Your Holidays

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"Santa Penguin" by Jason Kotecki. 12 x 12. Acrylic on canvas. Original is SOLD. Greeting cards available here. Well, we're here. Even though Christmas music has been playing in stores since Halloween, the passing of Thanksgiving officially puts us into the holiday season, ready or not. (How is it that companies can promote week-long Black "Friday" deals with a straight face?) I have a secret to share with you. Every bit of advice I give, or moral behind a story I tell, is mostly for me. They help keep me accountable and on track in my own fight against Adultitis. And as a professional reminder-er, I’d like to take this time to share some reminders, for all of us. I, for one, am in need of this particular reminder every year around this time. You may or may not be surprised to know that this is one of Adultitis’ favorite times of year (right up there with April 15th, aka Tax Day). Of course, the reason has nothing to do with holly jolly elves or goodwill toward men. No, it …

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A Tale of Two Trees: Thoughts on Life, Death and Regret

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I was in a small country cemetery recently, thinking about autumn and life and the end of another baseball season, when I saw these trees. All of them marching toward the sleep of winter, the one on the right still filled with leaves, another with only a few left to give. I wondered, “Which one am I?” As of this writing, I am forty-two years old. No spring sapling, that’s for sure. I’m old enough and experienced enough to know that I could be either tree. I think about death a lot, mostly because it helps me think about my life, and how well I’m spending it. Anniversaries are piling up. Pictures from my early days of marriage looks less and less like the person that greets me in the mirror each morning. And my kids. They are growing up so fast. Too fast. Memories of their newborn days seem like borrowed photographs from someone else’s life. Life can be hard, but it is good. I’d give anything to slow it all down. I rack my brain for something I can do to help. How do I …

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How Many Licks?

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"How Many Licks?" by Jason Kotecki. 30 x 24. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD. Prints and canvas reproductions available here. How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? A commercial that appeared on TV when I was a child asked that very question. It turns out that a number of folks have tried to get to the bottom of this. A group of engineering students from Purdue University built a licking machine, modeled after a human tongue, and determined that it took an average of 364 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. A chemical engineering student from the University of Michigan built his own licking machine and recorded that his required 411 licks. And a group of junior high school students ditched machines in favor of human lickers, and reported an average of 144 licks. Apparently, the world really may never know how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop. I remember the first time I took my …

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Are You Leading the League?

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With the Major League Baseball season heading into the All-Star break, a quick glance at the statistical leaders reveals that I am not leading the National League (or the American League, for that matter) in home runs. Truthfully, I’m not even close. Of course, there is one important detail that probably matters somewhat: I don’t actually play professional baseball. I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s pretty ridiculous to beat myself up for not leading the league in home runs if I’m not a professional baseball player. And yet we regularly feel bad about ourselves for being lousy at games we’re not even playing. Weird. Just because we don’t think of them as "games" in the same way we think of baseball as a game, doesn't mean we haven't devised ways to keep score at the activities in which we participate. Rather than tracking home runs, we measure things like money, body weight, square footage, degrees, status, accolades, connections, sales, prestige, and fame. For instance, …

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An A-Z Guide for Summer Memory Making

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Well, it happened. The longest day of the year has come and gone. It’s always a bit depressing for me, because I know that now the days will only get shorter and shorter. (And it feels like summer only just arrived!) I can’t help but wonder if I’m taking full advantage of the warmer weather. After all, a good summer is one that’s jammed with good memories. If you can relate, here are a couple thoughts… First, it doesn’t have to be overly organized. We asked a bunch of people on Facebook for their favorite thing to do outside as a kid, and not one person mentioned anything about an organized sport. Which was interesting to me, as organized sports are often are the biggest culprit in creating summer clutter and busyness. Secondly, money isn’t a major factor either. Although one might consider a trip to Disney World a slam dunk memory machine, it just isn’t so. Dave Ramsey asked his community about their best summertime memories, and Disney World wasn’t mentioned once. In …

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Why You Shouldn’t Accept That Promotion

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What idiot says no to a raise? Chip Gaines, co-star of the hit TV show Fixer Upper, writes this about his dad in the book Capital Gaines: "When I lived at home, he was willing to forego promotions and advancements at work just to have more time to throw a baseball with me in the evenings. He was teaching me the game, but on another level, he was showing me how to be a man and a father. He taught me the value of investing in one’s family above anything else.” We almost always consider promotions and advancements at work to be the best thing for ourselves and our families. And they might very well be. But more impressive titles, bigger paychecks, and better offices are also good for our pride. Sometimes a promotion serves no one but ourself. Look, struggling to make ends meet is never fun. Growing into an opportunity that gives us some financial breathing room and provides our family more options can be a real blessing. But we should never lose sight of the fact that the …

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How to Not Ruin Your Next Vacation

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Ever have one of those vacations that, when it was over, you said, “I need another vacation!”? Sometimes we spend all our time lounging around and feel disappointed that we didn’t see more. But more often, we rush around trying to see and do everything, and wind up returning to work depleted, wishing for a re-do. You’ve taken time off work. You’ve probably invested no small amount of money. Don’t be the reason your vacation fails. It almost just happened to us. Last summer, we got passports for all the kids so we could take a road trip into Canada. Kim and I asked our favorite question, “Now that we have this (passports for the whole family), what does it make possible?” We thought a foray into Mexico was a great next step to stretch our family’s travel comfort zone, before moving on to other places on our bucket list, like London, Australia, and South Africa. The way I see it, vacations can fall anywhere on a spectrum with “Adventure” one end and “Relaxation” on the other. …

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What if You Knew The Numbers?

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Kim and I recently took the kids to their first Cubs game. It was a beautiful day, Wrigley Field was as friendly as usual, and we reveled in singing "Go Cubs, Go" after they sealed the win against the Giants. We often see first times coming. We prepare for them and anticipate them with the excitement of a little kid on Christmas Eve. The last times have a habit of sneaking up on us, though. We have a digital frame in our kitchen that rotates old family photographs. I find myself regularly spying an old snapshot of one of my kids and thinking to myself, "She was never that little, was she?" As of this writing, my oldest is only eight, but the pictures feel a century old. The other day, Kim commented on a photo of our son when we was an infant. "Some days," she said, "I'd give just about anything to hold that little baby one more time." I agreed. It occurred to me that although I held that little baby many times -- often in a sleep-deprived and grouchy state -- there was also a last …

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