As I was playing with my posable Spiderman action figure yesterday (the one with 36 points of articulation), I glanced up and saw the Superman ornament hanging from my desk lamp. I remembered how I’ve loved them every since I was a boy, and how I would dress up like them all the time. Heck, as I write this entry I’m wearing a Superman t-shirt that’s so well-worn that the logo is cracked and peeling. Perfectly aged. With all these thoughts swirling in my head, I thought: What is the deal with superheroes? What is it about them that makes them so appealing? Of course it’s nice to have someone around who can always save the day; most adults wish we had our own personal superheroes to fly in and take over the mound of laundry or stack of bills. One also has to look at the idealism factor. Being a pretty idealistic person myself, I can appreciate the concept of a close-to-perfect individual who fights for the good guys and always comes out on top. And there is definitely something to be said for the world of imagination that opens up when one talks of superheroes and dangerous villains and impossible missions and the pending doom of Earth. But aside from all those things, I think the single most appealing thing about superheroes is the suits. Yep, the gaudy, technicolor spandex outfits. Face it, without the secret disguise and brightly colored jumpsuit, it’s just a regular guy or gal trying to make the world a better place. I’m not really sure where the superheroes get all their fancy duds. I think Superman’s aunt made his, but I don’t believe it. Mom’s and aunts don’t make things THAT cool. There’s always too much material, a crooked logo, or some silly flowered pattern incorporated somewhere. Maybe there’s some sort of Superhero Superstore where they pick out the latest original fashions or something. All I know is that when I was little, I was Spiderman for Halloween one year, and putting on that mask made me a different person. It made me more, well, super. (I’d rather not discuss the ill-fitting plastic hospital gown suit that came with it, emblazoned with the words “Amazing Spiderman” because you wouldn’t know it was supposed to be him by looking at the wretched thing.) Yep, the thing that’s most super about superheroes is the superduds. Maybe we should all have custom costumes we all wear from time to time. The only problem I foresee is the need for a physique that compliments the attire. I mean, the sight of a stout middle-aged balding man in a tight green spandex suit will make mothers grab their children and rush for the nearest exit. If the guy looks more like The Rock, for instance, the situation would be slightly different. Maybe we should just let the superheroes be superheroes and just try to do what we can to make the world a better place on our own. But first I’m going to surf the Internet for a Superhero Superstore near me.
- - - | written by Jason on | - - -