Jason

- - - | written by Jason on 5/17/2019 | - - -

My TED Talk About Rules That Don’t Exist

I recently had a chance to give a TEDx talk in McHenry, Illinois, which is just outside Chicago. I probably prepared more for this speech than any other I've given, and it was one of the shortest I've ever delivered. I'm excited to finally be able to share the video here. What was the talk about? Here's the description: Face it, adulting is hard. There are deadlines to meet, bills to pay, and rules aplenty we have to follow. Most of these rules keep order in what would otherwise be a chaotic world. But are all “rules” equally important? Maybe there are some rules we’d be better off not following. In his talk, Jason Kotecki, will challenge us to escape adulthood and break the rules we only think we have to follow. …

- - - | written by Jason on 5/12/2019 | - - -

Managing by Magic 8 Ball

The leader of an organization was preparing for a long overdue two-week vacation. He had spent a month preparing for his absence by setting up systems and training his second-in-command to step up while he was gone. But still, his protégé was nervous. She proposed several hypothetical scenarios, wondering how she should respond. The leader calmly explained the processes he set up to handle each situation. “Don’t worry, you’ve got this,” he reassured her. “But, if you find yourself in a spot where you don’t know what to do, let me show you something I rely on in situations like that.” He led her into his office, and grabbed a Magic 8-Ball from his desk. “If you’re stuck, just state your issue in the form of a yes or no question, shake this, and do whatever it says.” She looked at him with a puzzled expression on her face. "By the way," he said, "If it says to ask again later, just give it a little time before trying again.” The young employee wondered aloud, “But …

- - - | written by Jason on 5/5/2019 | - - -

Enlist Your Enemy to Help You Succeed

When I am almost done with a painting, I give it a time out. I let it hang out on the side of my studio while I begin work on a new one. Every time I walk by it, I sneak a peek at it, trying to pretend as if I’ve never seen it before. I’m not trying to make it jealous; I'm trying to look at it with new eyes. The goal is to figure out if it really is finished. I’m always doubtful that it is, but sometimes I struggle to find anything to fix. A recent painting I’d been working on had a couple of areas that I knew would be tough going into it, particularly the water in the swimming pool, which I’d never painted before. In the end, I was happy with how the challenge areas turned out, and when I looked at the painting, it was with a sense of pride at my accomplishment. But I couldn’t shake the sense that the painting wasn’t finished. Then I came across a quote by the novelist Samuel Butler, who said, "Think of and look at your work as though it were done by your enemy. …

- - - | written by Jason on 4/28/2019 | - - -

Life is Like a Box of Easter Eggs

My kids discovered a YouTube video that highlighted dozens of unique ways to decorate Easter eggs. They were excited to try out some of the new techniques they learned, many of which were new to me as well. There’s no one way to decorate an Easter egg. It reminded me that there’s also no one way to create an amazing life. There are lots of different ways to earn money.There are lots of different ways to spend it.There are lots of different ways to allocate your time.And lots of options of where and who to spend that time with. Of course, you can do things by the book. You know, the “normal” way. With a cup of water, a few tablespoons of vinegar, and some drops of food coloring, you’ll get a “successful” life, I mean Easter egg. Creating something that resembles a Fabergé egg requires an altogether different approach. Mind you, I’m not suggesting that it’s a better one. Task me with the job of crafting some sort of intricate pattern, and there’s a good chance our …

- - - | written by Jason on 4/23/2019 | - - -

Neil Mathweg, April 2019 Adultitis Fighter of the Month

An Adultitis Fighter is someone who rallies against rules that don't exist and engages in ruthless, senseless acts of silliness that undermine Adultitis and its unadventurous version of adulthood. Once a month, we shine a light upon the most remarkable among us, holding them up as a dazzling example of what we should strive for in this epic battle against a formidable enemy. Neil Mathweg may be 40, but you might guess he’s been drinking from the magical fountain of youth for years. Neil has managed to stay childlike and joyful, generously sharing his vibrant personality and creativity with everyone he meets. He’s a true inspiration and an everyday tinkerer. Luckily for those he encounters along the way, he is generous with sharing this childlike energy. His optimism is contagious and welcoming. He’s a true Adultitis Fighter, bringing Adultitis to its knees with every encounter. Neil surrounds himself with positive people and enters the world with an attitude that inspires even …

- - - | written by Jason on 4/21/2019 | - - -

Are You Suffering From Indecent Exposure?

Do you ever feel like our world is going to heck in a hand basket? Are you discouraged by current events and the downward spiral of civility? Does it seem like nobody cares anymore? You might be suffering from indecent exposure. What we watch on TV, the discussions we engage in online, and who we spend time with all influence our worldview, casting it in either a positive or negative light. If we are exposed to negativity, that negativity will influence us. Let's start with the so-called "news." No matter what side of the political aisle you are on and which cable news show you prefer, watching those programs is no longer about staying informed. Both sides are pushing an agenda specifically designed to rile you up and get you angry (so you’ll be influenced to keep watching.) Spend too much time on social media and it’s not hard to fall into a tsunami of hateful comments and poisonous vitriol. And it's not just politics. I’m a Cubs fan, and sometimes the online …

- - - | written by Jason on 4/14/2019 | - - -

The Bad Thing About Tax Refunds

Tomorrow is tax day in the United States. For many years, Kim and I looked forward to a tax refund, dreaming about how big it might be and what we'd do with the windfall. It felt like a little present, which is weird, because if you buy a sandwich with a twenty dollar bill and the clerk gives you fifteen dollars back, you don’t thank him for the gift. Of course, it was really our money all along. We simply paid more taxes than we were required to over the course of the year, and the government sent us back the change. In the early days, the main reason we got such a good refund is because our business was not very successful. And by not very successful, I mean it lost money, which is the exact opposite of what you want your business to do. The interesting thing is what happened in my mind when the business finally started to thrive. The refunds got smaller, then stopped. We started having to pay more taxes. Because I liked the feeling of receiving a check rather than …

- - - | written by Jason on 4/7/2019 | - - -

A Message for When You Feel Like a Failure

Grace is a tricky thing. It’s something we all need but are loathe to accept. Although we perhaps aren’t as generous with it as we could be, we’d still much rather give it than receive it. My son Ben is seven. He has been writing books, typing pages on the computer and printing them out, leaving plenty of space for illustrations. (As I have taught him. ;) His most recent version was about Ninjago, a weighty tome that was a full eight pages in length. Ben’s big sister Lucy served as editor, helping correct some misspellings and punctuation errors. Before her involvement, the sentences were choppy, missing some words, and as most of the copy was generated by sound-spelling, it was tainted by the common accent of childhood. For example: “Liybawey.” Can you figure it out? It’s one of our family’s favorite haunts. Also known as the “library." Now, do I look down on him for the missteps, for the obvious spelling errors, and the shallow, predictable plot? Of course not. Do …

- - - | written by Jason on 3/31/2019 | - - -

The Downside of Yes

"The difference between successful people and very successful people is that the very successful people say 'no' to almost everything." –Warren Buffet I love that quote. But I still hate saying no, especially when I feel like I'm disappointing someone. Saying "yes" to new experiences and difficult challenges is an important ingredient of a great life. But the reason so many people are overwhelmed, unfocused, and always on the verge of burnout is because they say 'yes' way too often. Sometimes we say "yes" because we are good people who want to help make the world better. But too often, fear is driving the decision... We say "yes" to invitations to social gatherings that we'd rather not attend, requests to serve on boards we don’t care that much about, and calls to volunteer for groups we don’t have time for, because we're afraid of hurting someone's feelings. We say "yes" to signing up our kids to an insane amount of extracurricular activities because we're afraid that …

- - - | written by Jason on 3/24/2019 | - - -

Family First. Really?

My dad used to work at a lumberyard. He would bring estimating projects home and work on them at night at the dining room table. The overtime pay he earned helped my parents pay ahead on their mortgage. I’m sure there were about a million other things he would have rather been doing, but he spent many evenings at that dining room table, after long days at work, earning a little bit extra. Family first. I will never forget the little watch he kept close at hand, logging his hours. If one of his sons wandered into the dining room, hoping to chat, he’d stop what he was doing, turn off the timer on his watch, and become completely attentive to the person in front of him. Not once did he ever shoo us away or urge us to wrap it up so he could get back to his work. Family first. I remember one of those dining room chats with my dad when I was a teenager. Things were not going well at all with a girl I was infatuated with. I was sure she was "the one," and yet my efforts to win her …