Adultitis Survivor

If you’ve ever seen the Christmas classic, “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas,” then you have witnessed first hand how someone who is suffering from a very extreme case of Adultitis can change the way they think and act to be cured from the deadly disease. With the start of the new year Jason and I will be giving you some specific steps on how to make the changes to finally rid yourselves of Adultitis. Look for our new project, The Escape Plan. Mr. Grinch would have been a good case study for our project.

Long before Jason and I were even born Dr. Seuss was talking about Adultitis. Somthing tells me that he never suffered from it himself.

The other day on the radio I heard the song, “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch.” It was a remake by a Christian rock band. The words are hilarious. Hopefully you’ll exceed the average of 15 laughs today by reading the words to this classic song. Enjoy!

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel. You’re as cuddly as a cactus,
You’re as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.

You’re a bad banana
With a greasy black peel

You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart’s an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You’ve got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Grinch.

I wouldn’t touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Mr. Grinch.

Given the choice between the two of you
I’d take the seasick crocodile.

You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You’re a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Mr. Grinch.

The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: “Stink. Stank. Stunk.”

You’re a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
You’re the king of sinful sots.
Your heart’s a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots,
Mr. Grinch.

Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You’re a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse.
Mr. Grinch.

You’re a three decker saurkraut and toadstool
sandwich
With arsenic sauce.

Copyright © 1957, Dr. Seuss.