From afar, you look picture perfect — everything in its place.
But look closer and it’s all a royal, unfocused, blobby mess — chaos most days.
If others new this dirty little secret they’d be shocked. “I would never have known! They seemed to have it all together.”
One of the challenges we all face with the way our modern society operates is that it’s easy to keep our eyes and minds focused on everything and everyone else, instead of the well-being of our own family.
Work “stuff.” Kid “stuff.” Household “stuff.” Health “stuff.” School “stuff.” Church “stuff.” Extracurricular “stuff.” Heck, even Facebook “stuff.”
Everyone’s got “stuff” and it all requires time and energy — which often leaves us drained for the people we actually care about the most.
Between “keeping up with those darn Joneses” and the hectic pace that is our new “normal,” there is simply no time left over for identifying the fact that you are just a hamster on a wheel running until you die. There’s no extra time in your life for self-reflection and redirection to get your family back on track to being healthy and happy (and fun!) again.
This time will never be gifted to you.
You must seize it once and for all and take a stand against the chaos that has become your life.
But, do you have what it takes to TRULY make some changes that will last through the uncomfortable stages?
You will need ALL four of these elements to find success with any changes you might start to make toward de-Monet-ifying your family:
Essential ingredient #1: You need to be wholeheartedly disgusted with the current state of your reality.
Essential ingredient #2: You need to hunger for authenticity.
Essential ingredient #3: Your spouse needs to be on board.
Essential ingredient #4: Your kids need to truly respect and trust you.
When you get to this point and you know you want to move forward, then it’s time to call a family meeting to get everyone on the same page. (This is where the respect and trust is crucial.) Bring to the attention of those in your family the problems and challenges that need correcting and ask them to share their own frustrations. Things like, “There seems to be about 45 minutes in every day when the entire family is in the house together — and everyone is going in different directions.” “There’s too much screen time in the house in the evenings.” “Work commitments are getting out of control.” “Sports tournaments are taking up too many weekends.” “Mom and dad are always fighting.”
Honest. Hard. Tearjerking “stuff.”
The stuff no one likes to address, so we avoid it. And the desperate life of disappointment and settling continues.
Please do not avoid this hard conversation. You know in your heart of hearts the changes that need to be made in your lives to reclaim the happiness and health of your family. Don’t let the hamster wheel take you to your grave with regrets and resentments that you can’t do anything about. Take a step towards healing today.
What secret do you keep in regards to the challenges your family faces in the day to day?
Josh Bulloc says
I am one of those people that hates to let my emotions fester. I tend to say what is on my mind in my family especially when I see a problem. It may take time to work through the issue because others in my family are not as confrontational as I am. I keep bringing the subject up (tactfully) until we come to a solution. It is hard and time consuming but it works.
Kansas City, MO
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I enjoyed your post…and the pictures that go with it. While I don’t have a family, I could picture very clearly the scenario you describe. There have been moments in my life where I felt that way. And you’re right…the first part is to realize you’re not happy and become disgusted with your reality. Just like the clutter that builds up in the rooms of our homes…I think sometimes our schedules and daily tasks are cluttered with stuff that seems important but really isn’t. I suppose it all starts with awareness. Thanks again for some great ideas here!