A few years ago Jason and I got a chance to interview marketing guru Seth Godin for our magazine. Being off the charts creative and passionate about his work (and someone we look up to greatly), I should not have been surprised with his answer to our question, “What is your favorite way to ‘escape adulthood?'”
Seth’s answer was, “Setting up a life you don’t need to escape sounds good to me.”
Amen to that! Brilliantly simple, but NOT easy. And yet, worth EVERY ounce of effort.
How about YOU? Have you designed your life to be one that you don’t need to escape?
If not, what will it take for you to do so? A career change (in THIS economy!), relocation, down-sizing, working overtime for a while, or maybe just a major attitude adjustment? Whatever it takes, prepare yourself with the reality that you will be met with Resistance.* Your actions towards improving the quality of your life (whatever that looks like for you) will rock other peoples’ boats of comfortability. There are a slew of folks walking around living life chronically disinterested. If you become an example of how life doesn’t have to be so boring, living only for the weekends, your actions may challenge a few people look in the mirror — often the scariest place to look in life.
Jason and I were married for over 8 years before we had Lucy and so we got a lot of “You’ll see’s” and “Just wait’s” over the course of that *almost* decade. Things like…
“Oh, you don’t drink coffee? Just wait until you have kids!”‘
“How are you going to travel when you have kids? You’ll see…”
“You pay for your own health insurance? Just wait until you have a family. That won’t be realistic.”
It gets old hearing everyone else’s excuses for being miserable when Jason and I have worked hard (and risked tons along the way) to design our life to be one that we love. We all need to challenge each other to do just what Seth advocates.
If your life is worth escaping on a regular basis, you’re doing something wrong.
What can you do this week to start designing your life to be something you don’t need to escape?
*P.S. For a classic book on how to deal with Resistance, this is a must-read.
Hello Kim,
I was browsing blogs and came across your article – which then piqued my interest and I just had to read it … I’m so glad I did.
You sure hit the nail on the head regarding the reactions that can come when deciding to make life changes – it’s amazing how ‘friends’ can feel threatened by it. It’s interesting to hear all the excuses that people can come up with to remain miserable in life … I guess it’s easier because we all know it takes mush effort and dedication to effect positive change.
You should see the looks I’ve gotten when asked if I would love to “just get away from it all” — I’m quite happy to stay at home and spend a nice evening with the hubby … there isn’t anything I feel the need to “get away” from.
I look forward to reading more of your articles. Have a nice day.
Peppy
Nailed it.
I was meant to find this article – I really mean that. I woke this morning exhausted and in a very-unlike-me funk. I have a new blog post due today and an obscene number of things on my “to do” list and I guess I just hit the wall. Reading your article – and Seth’s great response to your question broke me out of the fog. I’m feeling overwhelmed because I’m navigating a mid-life significant change of direction to create a life I enjoy getting up to each morning. I’m not there yet, but I’m getting closer … it’s a LOT of work, but I’m worth it! Thanks!
“You’ll know better when you {older, wiser, have my experience, …}” never fails to trigger some very strong emotion in me. Not such good emotion either.
Not sure why – maybe it’s because my mind translates it to these statements, in order:
(a) you’re wrong
(b) you’d agree with me if you weren’t so young / naive / stupid
(c) anything you use to debate back will be dismissed because of your youth / naivete / stupidity
It encodes a whole stack of meaning, all of which is completely dismissive.
In this case, the best way to push back is some form of “just watch me prove you wrong over time”. Good job pushing back at the doubters, and good meeting you at WDS!