Make love, not war. Those hippies were on to something. No one likes war. Although "free love" turns out to not have been the best option, we do have to replace it with something. If I tell you to stop thinking about a pink elephant on roller skates, what are you thinking about? No matter what you do, DO NOT think about a pink elephant on roller skates. Just stop. But what if I told you to imagine a blue horse with spots of silver glitter galloping on top of a rainbow? It's not enough to eliminate war, we need to replace it with something else. It's not enough to eliminate a …
You & Improved
48 Things I’ve Learned in 48 Years
Well, today is the day. The cultural event where millions of people are unified in celebration of what many have called the biggest secular holiday in the United States, and possibly the world. Of course, I'm referring to my birthday. I'm not sure how I'll mark the occasion, but perhaps there will be something interesting to watch on TV? đ #SuperbOwl It's true; as of today, I am 48 years old. Is that old? It feels kinda old, but still a few years shy of fifty, so that's something. I do relate to Margaret Atwood who believed, "Everyone else my age is an adult, whereas …
How to Turn the Tide Against Adultitis
Your team is in bad shape. Here you are in the playoffs, and you're losing. Even though you're somehow only down by six points, nothing is going right. You were flying high earlier in the game, leading by two scores. Everything was clicking. And then... A turnover and two huge penalties gave your opponent some easy scores. None of the plays you're calling are working. Your best running back got injured and is out for the game. Your players are growing more discouraged as each second melts off the clock. Now the other team has the ball and they're driving down the field. If they score a …
Be Open to Something Better
I recently came across this in my photo stream. Part photo, part iPad drawing, it's my original vision of the art studio I wanted to build as an addition to our home. This was exactly what I wanted; a little extra light-filled space added on to the home office already there. If I could have snapped my fingers and made it instantly materialize exactly like this, I would have been thrilled. What I ended up with looks almost nothing like this. So...does that make it a disappointment? Heck no! Here's how my studio addition turned out: It's a reminder to me that, as the poet Elizabeth …
Tinkering: The Missing Piece in Your Problem-Solving Toolkit
Imagine sitting at your kitchen table with a thousand puzzle pieces scattered before you. A small island of interconnected pieces has taken shape. They were easyâthe only face in the whole scene. You reach for a piece that looks like it could be part of the person's hair. After rotating it and testing the fit a few times, you confirm it's not the right one. Then, angered that it didn't work, you toss the entire table over in a furious rage. With pieces flying in every direction, you swear off jigsaw puzzles forever, convince yourself you stink at them, and remind yourself that you always …
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Why You Need Water Balloons & a Wingman
Life is amazing. It is also hard. The war against Adultitis is a grueling one that will last your lifetime. But that shouldn't keep you from trying to soak it with water balloons. Your happiness depends on it. Now, you'll need two things in the fight against Adultitis: water balloons and a wingman. A Water Balloon is anything joyful that induces playfulness, laughter, merriment, or wonder. The most powerful ones appear frivolous, done for no particular reason other than fun. My late father-in-law Gary had a long fight with chronic pain. His faith …
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The “Must Be Nice” You Might Be Missing
It's the curse of every author. The exact millisecond you finally release a book from your tight grip and allow it to run free in the world, it happens. An anecdote comes your way that would have been perfect for it and you immediately think of seventeen other insights you should have added. When I wrote Must Be Nice, I didn't spend any time addressing the holidays, but boy, does that phrase pop up this time of year. And perhaps the bitter tone that accompanies our "must be nice" is a smidge more resentful. The holiday season looks different to everyone who …
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Two Questions to Help You Live a Wonder-Filled Life
A clear night sky is a thing of beauty, with millions of stars blinking silently overhead. It's a pity we rarely notice them. In an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry David is speaking with a receptionist at a law firm who has a spectacular view of the city behind her. "Beautiful view here! How long did it take you to take it for granted?" She replies, "Umm, not long I guess." He candidly admits, "It would take me about a day. Maybe less. Maybe half an hour. And I would never look out the window again." How quickly we take wonder for granted. This painting was …
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The Day I Accidentally Murdered My Bucket List
My Bucket List is dead, and I was the one who killed it. I didn't mean to do it...it just sort of happened. I was reviewing what went well this year and what didn't while on a personal retreat a few days before Thanksgiving. As usual, the inventory of highlights was way longer. It contained projects we completed, trips we took, improvements we made to the house, and accomplishments our kids achieved. Many were planned, but a significant number of the entries were unplanned opportunities and unexpected blessings. If you think about it, that's how much of life is. Many of our biggest …
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When to Be a Houseplant
Sometimes you just need to be a houseplant. This statement was shared by Shannon, a friend who had finally emerged from a hard season filled with challenging health issues. They often left her feeling depleted, without the energy to do much of anything. And so she gave herself permission to to be a houseplant. I laughed at the metaphor, calling to mind the times I've sunk deep into the couch and slipped into a vegetative stage. But she went on to note that although houseplants are stationary and require help from others to stay alive, they aren't doing nothing. They are very much …