Today I had a very ironic experience. Jason and I hosted my parents this weekend. The weather was just gorgeous, so we decided a lunch down at The Pier would be great. It’s a restaurant connected to The Edgewater hotel in Madison. The tables are right on the pier of Lake Mendota, Madison’s largest lake. It was one of those days when you just soak in everything- the sunshine, the breeze, the conversation, the jumping fish, the ducks, the kayakers and even the families nearby (more on that soon…).
As we sat under the blue and white umbrella and decided what we wanted for lunch, my mom proudly shared that she was going to get rid of some Adultitis by eating dessert first! Some of you may remember that that is exactly what I did to accomplish one of the Escape Plan Challenges over a year ago now. Ironically the challenge is: #11: You’re Not The Boss of Me: Do something your parents would never let you do as a child. Even though my parents would never have allowed me to eat dessert first as a kid, my mom was now doing it right before my eyes. My head about blew up (in a good way)! It was so fun to see her childlike smile and hear her giddy laugh as she ordered.
On this same pier, happening simultaneously, there was a young family (mom, dad, and two young boys) that had pulled their boat up and parked it at the pier for lunch. I happened to notice a few times that the dad seemed rather distracted. Mom was in charge of the boys. Much of his visit to this beautiful spot was spent fiddling with his BlackBerry. I’m pretty sure he didn’t even notice the fish, or the ducks or the kayakers. At one point his five-year-old son was trying to open the oversized umbrella attached to the table. It was quite a wrestling match, which the umbrella won as the boy fell on the ground. All the while, the dad was typing away. At another point the two-year-old (who was wearing a life jacket) wandered away from his table, out of site from his dad. (His Mom was inside for some reason with the other boy.) Eventually curiosity got the best of him and he knelt down at the edge of the dock, trying to reach below. Dad was on his phone. Immediately, a woman from a neighboring table who saw this happening got the dad’s attention and he came over. His reaction was, “he would’ve floated.”
There’s a time and a place for everything.
Was it okay that my parents never allowed me to eat dessert first as a youngster? Yes! That’s what makes it so much fun to do it now- and even more fun to see my mom experience.
Was it okay for this dad to be distracted by his technology on such a beautiful day spent with his even more beautiful family? No. This is sad to see. This guy was doing what so many of us do- take life (and people) for granted. In the blink of an eye his kids will be grown-up and his work will still be there. A day like today is priceless. I think about all of the fun Jason and I had with my parents soaking it all in. What a blessing to have these moments with those we care about- making memories.
Make sure you take full advantage of these moments.
The time and the place is NOW.
[tags]Madison, The Edgewater, The Pier, Adultitis, Escape Plan[/tags]
So true!! My mom told the story of my aunt(now 81 years old), who had 4 children very close together and whose house would not have won the Good Housekeeping award, but she would be outside with her kids sailing paper boats in the mud puddles. She told my mom, “When my kids are grown they won’t remember if the house was clean, but they’ll remember that I sailed boats with them in the mud puddles.” She knew what it was all about, all those years ago.
Not only is the Dad missing out on precious moments that will never come back, but he is making his kids feel that they are not as important as his job. And what is even sader is that those boys might grow up to repeat the same thing with their kids.
Words to live by. Thanks for taking time to write about this. It’s sad, but a good counter-example for the rest of us, of how not to live our lives.
I read this on a day where my dinner was a Dairy Queen blizzard, so eat dessert first was the first thing I picked up on. However, what a sad comment on the family life when the dad misses the whole day like that. Life is too short and kids are too precious to let them just pass by. I hope when the kids I know in my life grow up, they’ll remember me as the grown up who took time just to be with them.
What great comments everybody! Thanks for sharing your two cents on this! :)
I absolutely agree with this and try with all my heart to live by it..the kids grow soo fast ..the work itself will be there forever!!!!!!! Please try to keep this in mind always! (from a dedicated mom)
And cheers to Marilyn…to heck with the clean house lets play in the MUD!