Maintain Perspective

Worn down gravestone in Colonial Park Cemetery, Savannah, GA. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been obsessed with making a difference in the world. The bigger impact, the better.But the question I’ve come to wrestle with is, how does one measure the impact one’s made?Kim and I recently celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary in Savannah. It’s one of the most charming and unique cities in the United States. A highlight was walking through the Colonial Park Cemetery in the heart of the Historical District. Established in 1750, it's the oldest intact municipal cemetery in Savannah. I just love old crypts and gravestones. A number of them were worn down by history, with some engraved letters barely visible, others already lost forever. It struck me that normally, when we say something is “set in stone,” we consider it permanent. As these burial markers can attest...not exactly.Our lives are fleeting, and our actions can seem even more so. In a world pre-occupied …

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Life rarely coooperates in delivering the perfection we plan for. The good news is that it doesn’t have to ruin the story. Last week, my family made our annual family pilgrimage to Wrigley Field. Even though it was a bit chilly, the sky was clear and the game was fun. Only problem was the home team lost to the rival Brewers. Afterwards, we hit the gift shop and I let the kids pick out brand new Cubs hats. They each chose one that fit their personality perfectly (my youngest, who goes by "Rose," found one with little flowers on it!), and we got to take a photo wearing them next to the 2016 World Series trophy.  My son’s old hat has quite a history. Kim purchased it a few years before we were even married. She had written the name of our favorite boy’s name at the time (Andy) on the inside label. Fast forward to now, and that hat is incredibly faded, rimmed with sweat stains, and ridiculously small for my son’s seven-year-old noggin. The original inside label is …

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"Enjoy the Ride" by Jason Kotecki. 30 x 24. Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD. Prints and canvas reproductions available here. This painting was inspired by my family's trip to Mexico, the beautiful tradition of Dia de Muertos, and thoughts of love ones who have come before. Life can seem like such a slog sometimes. A constant struggle of trying to get ahead, putting out fires, overcoming one obstacle after another. It can feel like we’re in survival mode, and it takes everything we’ve got just to make it through the day. It’s easy to grow tired and become discouraged, maybe even bitter and a little angry. This is because we don’t have perspective. Our ancestors, who have already traversed this lifespan and have seen what’s beyond, have a different perspective than we do. They are now able to see the big picture. They went through the valleys, but their purpose was ultimately revealed. They have the full understanding that the journey is shorter than we realize. …

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No rain, no flowers. Maybe it’s trite. But it’s also true. It may sound like optimism, and it is, but it’s also scientific fact. No pressure, no diamond. No fire, no s’mores. Why do life’s hard parts surprise us? We can look around see examples all around us that the good stuff never comes easy. The best night’s sleep comes after the hardest day’s work. We all want our lives to be awesome but then we yell at they sky when our comfortable little existence is disturbed. I, for one, am grateful that God ignores my whiny, short-sided complaints in order to grant the desires of my heart. Some of the best, most rewarding things that ever happened to me were born from struggle and pain and circumstances I never would have chosen for myself. When you’re in the middle of one of life’s downpours, it can be hard to believe a bouquet of something great is right around the corner. Maybe that’s trite, too. But that doesn’t mean it’s not true. It's definitely something we …

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"Cherry On Top" by Jason Kotecki. Oil on canvas. Original is sold. Prints available here. I'm really not a fan of how often I base my happiness on what I haven't accomplished, or what inconvenience just popped up. The truth is, life really is amazing. Unfortunately, Adultitis would have us think differently. Your washing machine goes kaput. You're in the middle of dinner and realize you don't have a crucial ingredient. You don’t get the promotion. That nagging cold won’t go away. Your goals are taking longer to achieve than expected. It’s easy to get lost in the weeds, focused on what we’re missing or what’s going wrong. Sometimes we just need a bit of perspective. The average world income is five thousand dollars. If you make more than that, then you’re in the top 50%. If you make more than $50,000, you’re in the top 0.5%. We live in a time where Oregon Trail is a fun computer game, not a harrowing months-long journey replete with danger and dysentery. Are …

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"Like a Boss" by Jason Kotecki. Mixed media on canvas. 16x20 inches. Original and prints available here. Life can feel like a high wire act. You’re doing your best to juggle everything on your plate: your job, your family, your finances; and just when you think everything is going pretty well, you glance down and see someone whose yard looks way better than yours. How do they get those flowers to flourish like that? Or someone’s kids who are in way more activities than yours. Will my kids be less attractive to colleges? Or someone who just drove up in their new car. Should I be thinking about getting a better job? For instance, my neighbor cuts his grass every six minutes. Okay, maybe it only seems like that. It’s probably more like sixteen. The point is, a perfect lawn is apparently important to him. I’m not here to judge, except I often do judge — myself. Our lawn usually looks pretty shaggy compared to his, especially if it’s been more than a week since we cut our grass. …

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There’s something about those birthdays that end in “0,” especially once you reach a certain age. I mean, turning 10 didn’t give me much anxiety, and even 20 was pretty exciting, but the tide turned at 30 and I was feeling downright melancholy a few weeks ago on the lead-up to 40. It’s not just about getting older. I feel successful on many levels, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I should have somehow accomplished "more" than I have. For example, in my twenties, I thought I’d have at least one bestseller by now. And definitely a Porsche. And possibly be best friends with Oprah. I have always been a big dreamer. For over two decades, I have been on fire to use my talents to make a living and make a difference on a massive scale. When I was in my twenties, it was easy to scrape and claw and persist, because deep down, I felt like time was on my side. I was learning and growing, and the future was brimming with possibility. But now, at forty, time feels less like a …

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It was Jackie DeShannon who first sang, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It's the only thing that there's just too little of...” With today being Valentine’s Day, I figured it would be fitting to talk about love (while ensuring that you’ll be humming that tune for the rest of the day.) The world is as jacked up now as it was when the song was first recorded in 1965. Maybe more so. Love seems like a good solution, a worthy place to start, but what does it look like when we’re talking about the whole world? I mean, it’s easy to love the people we know and care about, and this time of year, we dwell on the romantic kind of love. Both good, but what kind of love would help the rest of the world? You know, the people we don’t actually know. Here's a good place to start: Kindness. Kindness is the best kind of love we can show to strangers. Especially the nitwits who are on the other end of the political spectrum as you. Or the jerk who posted that careless insult on …

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