Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and we’ve compiled five tips on how you can make sure the holiday is completely ruined by Adultitis. Just in case you were interested.
- Don’t waste your time making, writing or sending Valentines. In this age of e-mail and instant messaging, they are a terribly inefficient waste of time and money. And trees.
- When celebrating Valentine’s Day, remember that how much you spend on someone is a direct indicator to how much you love them. Likewise, the reverse is true. If someone can’t find it in their heart to splurge on an extremely expensive token of appreciation, maybe you should rethink the relationship.
- If you don’t currently have a “Valentine” of your own, commiserate with people who share your situation. Mope, complain, and sulk over the injustice that other people would have the gall to have fun without you. Be sure to make them feel guilty about it, too.
- Do what you can to see to it that Valentine’s Day parties are stamped out in your local schools. Sure, it is a mostly secularized holiday, but aren’t its origins somewhat religious in nature?
- If you really want to save yourself some trouble, don’t get caught up in the hype of Valentine’s Day to begin with. It’s just an overblown manufactured holiday created by Hallmark anyway. If loved ones need simple, heartfelt gestures to let them know you love them, they don’t deserve your love in the first place.
We also wanted to share the latest case study put out by the Cure Adultitis Institute. This is what Valentine’s Day looks like when you have a full-blown case of Adultitis.
I completely, and wholeheartedly, agree with statement number five. I shouldn’t have to express my feelings through generalized Valentine greetings. My mother knows how I feel about her without padding Hallmark’s pockets. Thank you very much!