This week, Jason, Lucy and I attended the wake of a friend of ours who lived just 13 years. Just by hearing that you may say, “How tragic,” but I would say back to you that actually, Jesse lived morein his 13 years than most people live in 85. Being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes when he was three, he approached his childhood with an attitude of appreciation for life and persistence that he could (and would) be able to do all of the same things a kid without the disease could do.
Our lives crossed paths at the start of his elementary years and by this point he had acquired quite the resume of advocacy, raising both money and awareness for Juvenile Diabetes. His work advocating for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF) led him to Washington, D.C. to speak before Congress and he was even honored by Wisconsin Governor Doyle during a State of the State Address. He inspired a snowboarding camp for other kids with Type 1 diabetes – being a real life example that kids with diabetes can do anything that anyone else can do, they just have to manage it a little better.
Jesse touched countless people with his vibrant personality and his ability to connect with anyone. Jesse was an awesome kid and he lived his 13 years to the fullest.
In reflecting on his passing this week, I am faced with the question:
If I only had 13 years of my life left, would I live it as richly as Jesse did? Would my life leave the kind of mark his did?
It’s almost easier to think about what you would do with the cliche “6 months left to live.” Simple. You’d drop everything and be with those you love. You’d take that trip to the Great Wall of China. You’d jump out of the plane or go rafting in the Grand Canyon. You’d have the permission you need to truly say what you want to say.
It’s so cliche to say we should live as if each day is our last. But is this really possible without the bad news from the doctor? There are just too many things you HAVE to do that you certainly would NOT do, if indeed this was your last day here. It’s not a realistic challenge.
But what about 13 years?
With 13 years left, you still have to be financially responsible and maintain the day-to-day of your life (bills, work, relationships, civic responsibilities, chores, etc.), like you do right now.
But what WOULD you change?
Anything?
Would you look for a different way to spend your 9-5 or 5-9? Would you watch less TV? Would you be more generous with your talents? Would you say “I love you” more or “I’m sorry.” Would you make more memories? Would you write that book? Maybe you’d actually make some progress on the ‘ol Bucket List, instead of waiting until the timing is “right.”
Jesse’s brief but abundantly rich journey here inspires me to live like I’ve only been given 13 more years. It’s time I became more bold about the things that I’m most passionate about. So I start here with giving you (and myself) this challenge: get off your couch and do something to make a memory with someone you love TODAY.
The following quote in his obituary really sums it all up nicely…
“It’s better to burn out than to fade away.”
Godspeed Jesse!
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Hi Kim,
First of all I’d like to say sorry about your friend. My brother went to school with a young boy who passed away from cancer around that age. I couldn’t help but think how sad that was and how it’s even more sad that kids are wasting their days on video games and such. (though I know they don’t realize what a waste that truly is).
I’m so glad to hear he lived such a rich life and was able to do some amazing things with it, things that someone could be proud of at any age, but especially his. It’s very inspiring. I look forward to taking your challenge, though it’ll take some good thinking time to take advantage of it :)
Jason – If I had only 13 years or six months to live I know one thing I would strive for regardless of the situation (health, etc). That would be to draw closer to the Lord and seek His will in my remaining time. Anything that comes from that will be a life well lived.
Hi Kim:
Wow…thank you for sharing this. I am sorry to hear about this tragedy of a life cut short, but as you so nicely put it, it is a chance for us to learn and a reminder to live with more passion.
Somewhat related to this topic is a book by Patti Digh called Life is a Verb…is about her stepdad who died 37 days after finding out he had cancer. Like your post, it is a constant reminder to live fully.
Kim, I was moved by your story about Jesse’s life. It caused a sleepless night in Peru, IL.
I was thinking, I’ve already lived over 4x longer than Jesse.
I’m betting that if I could figure it out I’ve wasted 13 years of my life.
I do remember being 13 years old. I remember wondering: I can’t wait until I get my license, when do I start shaving, when will this ugly zit go away and then the next day another one, rats, will I ever find “my” girl, will I get married, will I have a family, will I even get out of high school alive, what career path will I take, and do I even have any talents? All of these I have done, but not Jesse, but maybe he has done more.
How much time do I have left? 13 minutes, 13 hours, 13 weeks, 13 years.
As I drifted to sleep and back to awake I couldn’t help but think about a co-worker very ill hoping for more quality time or my son’s in law clinging to life wishing she could roll back the clock, or my kindergarten buddy that broke through ice on the river last month with maybe 13 minutes of life left if it wasn’t for a series of miracles.
See the wall of China and write that book both struck a raw nerve for me. Two life goals of mine. The China thing is more of a fantasy. But the book is a possibility. Jan. 1, 2010 stated out with hope of finally getting that book done. But Laziness set in again. Wasting my time as I often have done, being lazy, “loafing” is the old school word. Don’t get me wrong. A little lazy is OK but a lot of lazy is just wrong. God gave us a precious gift of minutes and once they are gone, they are lost.
So moving forward.
Are you (me) a Jesse? Are you going to use your time wisely or are you going to waste away your minutes?
We can’t control the number of minutes we have left but we definitely do control how we use them!
Thank you for telling us about Jesse. What a beautiful way to have handled his 13 years! How many of us are that brave and wise?
I’m learning though, from you and Kim, and now am learning about the St. Ignatious Spiritual Exercises which is teaching me to make the most of getting closer to God.
Once again, thanks for all you do and share with us.
And a belated Happy Birthday!
What a truly inspirational thought/challenge. Rather than be concerned about what i havent done yet: trips, passions, hobbies etc….i can start focusing and enjoying the steps along the way.
Balance= being happy with where you are, what you have and where youre going! Its all about the path you choose and to keep moving.
Thank you and God bless!