Most people are striving to make their lives better. Even if they are already pretty good. Unfortunately, we too often get caught in the trap of thinking that more is the same as better.
It’s not. (At least not as much as we think it is.)
If one extracurricular activity looks good on a college entrance exam, three must be better.
If our current home is good, one with double the square footage must be better.
If it’s good to help out on a committee at church, serving on two must be better.
If an order of small fries is good, super-sizing them must be better.
If working four overtime hours at work is good, working twelve must be better.
If we sell one great product, having twelve products to sell must be better.
If our kids enjoy playing with some good toys, giving them more must be better.
If shoes or books or cars or antiques or kitchen gadgets or electronic toys or clothes or video games make us happy, then more shoes or books or cars or antiques or kitchen gadgets or electronic toys or clothes or video games must be better.
All of this “more” does not make life better.
It makes it MORE cluttered, MORE complicated, MORE busy, and way MORE stressful.
The only case in which more is always better is when it comes to time you spend with the people you love.
Relationships get better when we give them more. More time. More effort. More undivided attention. More patience. More trust. More love.
Give your best relationships more of you and a weird thing happens.
Life gets better.
Reid Peterson says
I agree with you 100% but I am curious about your thoughts towards you (me) making the time for relationships but the other person not reciprocating? I try to keep in touch with friends time and time again but feel rejection and unmotivated to continue when I don’t hear back from that friend.
Yeah, that’s a tough one. You can’t force a relationship that isn’t there. My advice is that if reaching out feeds you, then do it for you without expecting anything in return. Just my 2 cents. Thanks for the comment!
Reid Peterson says
Does reaching out “feed” anyone? In a relationship, it’s about the connection, communication, laughs, tears, growth, etc. What good is reaching out to a friend that does not respond? (Back to the original question.)
I certainly agree with you about relationships being about connection, communication, laughs, tears, and growth. But not all relationships are like that — I only have a few of those kind myself. I guess in this context, when I say “reaching out,” it’s more in the vein of giving…things like sending a greeting card just to wish them a good day. In those cases, giving is always something that can feed a person.
As far the other person not reciprocating at the level you’d hope for? You just have to respect the other person’s decision to keep the relationship where it’s at. There’s just not much else you can do. I’ve certainly had a few of those as well!
I love the faces on both of you in this pic. Lucy is so full of joy to play in the sand – and you are reveling in her joy! It’s great to see.
It’s was a great moment from a great day in Florida!
What part of Florida? Just spent 1 1/2 weeks in north Miami for grad school – had a chance to go to the beach twice! (Once in north Miami and once in South Beach in all its Art Deco neon glory!)
The Clearwater area. We love it!
Betsy at Zen Mama says
I have a simple comment to add:
I couldn’t agree more!