“NO” is a monster that frightens many of us.
It’s so intimidating that we’ll forfeit the chance of getting something awesome because the mere chance of hearing “No” keeps us from even asking.
Granted, no one likes to be turned down for a job, a date, or entry to a school we hoped to attend. But No doesn’t have to be the enemy we think it is.
Our team once worked with a sales consultant who helped us to see the value in a No. She conceded that because No is so powerful, prospects are afraid to say it, so they offer up a maybe instead, which she warned is worse than a No.
“No is a gift,” she told us. “People who give you a maybe when they mean No aren’t doing you any favors. No saves you time and gives you permission to move on to other opportunities. It gets you closer to a Yes.”
The finality that seems to accompany a No is intimidating. It feels like a dead end.
But it’s not a dead end unless you make it one.
Instead, think of a No as a bumper in a pinball machine that pushes you in a new direction.
Get turned down for a date?
Did someone decline to help you?
Have you tried something that didn’t work?
That’s not a No, it’s a No Problem! It’s a redirection, a chance to try a different approach, find the right person, or get closer to the solution.
Remember, in pinball, the more bumpers you hit, the higher score you achieve. When you give up after encountering a No — or don’t even try for fear of it — you’ll never reach your full potential.
When I am working on a new painting or a design for a new project, I’ll often create several thumbnail sketches: small drawings of potential solutions or compositions. Decades of experience have taught me that the best idea is rarely the first. More often than not, the jackpot comes in one of the later versions. From one point of view, all the other thumbnails that are rejected have become a No. A dead end. But in reality, they’re just bumpers that pushed me into a new idea that eventually led me to a win.
Sometimes you do land your first sale.
Sometimes you get the first job you applied to.
Sometimes there is love at first sight.
Sometimes you do win on your first try.
Be grateful if you do. But if you don’t, that’s ok too.
Don’t let it intimidate you. Let the No be a bumper that pushes you toward something better.
You might be well on your way to one heckuva high score.
I wonder…when have you been grateful for a “No” that seemed scary or disappointing when you first received it?
Have fun. Defeat Adultitis. Win a year's worth of ice cream.
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