You can spend all day fishing and catch nothing: 2,375 casts; 2,375 failures. But. The next cast could be the one that changes everything. Since I started my company in 1999, I’ve encountered many dead ends. We’ve had a lot of projects we were excited about, initiatives we were certain would deliver the breakthrough beyond our wildest dreams, that failed—hard. We’ve lost money, time, and pride. Sometimes, it’s taken a long time to recover. After you’ve been hit by a car so many times, you start to wonder if maybe you should stop standing in the middle of the highway. But one thing that kept me going was a quote by Thomas Edison, who said, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” I guess I was more afraid of being a failure than I was of failing. And there’s a difference. Dead ends happen. But hitting one doesn’t necessarily mean you’re dead or at the …
You & Improved
How to Reawaken Your Wild Heart
In this light-hearted and vulnerable talk delivered at the 2019 Escape Adulthood Summit, Kim shares her experience with the "joyful haul" of motherhood. She recounts her hunt for wonder, what she found, and how you too can rediscover your wild heart in order to bring more peace, fullness and joy into your life. After you watch the talk, I'd love to hear your biggest takeaway. Feel free to share it in the comments! …
The Simplest Way to Turn Trash Into Treasure
Eating lobster used to be a punishment reserved for prisoners.I was reminded of this during a recent trip to New England. I had a speaking engagement in Connecticut, and took my oldest daughter with me. I had three different lobster dishes on the trip (in between samplings of clam chowd-ah).The fact that the inclusion of lobster makes any dish more expensive is quite a turn of events from its humble beginnings. A few hundred years ago, lobster was plentiful, washing up on shore by the hundreds. The so-called “cockroach of the sea" was eaten only by the poor and prisoners, who considered it cruel and unusual punishment. It was commonly used as livestock feed and fertilizer. Said essayist John J. Rowan in 1876, “Lobster shells about a house are looked upon as signs of poverty and degradation.”But in the late 19th century, canning became a viable way to get food rations to soldiers in the Civil War. Enterprising railway companies rebranded the lobster as an exotic dish to travelers in …
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You Can Turn Anything into a Drug
I used to be so smug about not being a meth head.Kim and I have been watching the series Breaking Bad, about a mild-mannered high school science teacher with a cancer diagnosis who gradually descends into a life of crime as a ruthless player in the local methamphetamine drug trade. Good times.The psychology behind the choices that the characters make and consequences that come from them are fascinating, not to mention the look into the dark underbelly of the drug economy. During scenes that show people in the deepest throes of addiction, I’ve noticed myself judging the junkies.How stupid could a person be? What did they think would happen? What a loser...But I've come to consider that perhaps we are all addicted to something.Drugs and alcohol are the most obvious, along with porn, gambling, food, and tobacco. But we can also be addicted to attention, validation, drama, status, and even busyness.For example, I often find myself caught keeping up on the news. I browse my go-to sites and …
Never Graduate
What does it mean to graduate?It’s an accomplishment, a milestone that marks the completion of one part of a journey. Our common understanding of it usually involves an academic degree or diploma.But too often, it’s also just the end. Full stop.About a quarter of American adults (24%) say they haven’t read a book in whole or in part in the past year, whether in print, electronic or audio form. Other research shows that 47% of Americans didn't take all of their vacation time last year and 21% "left more than five vacation days on the table." That's time that could have been enjoying a new experience or exploring another city, state or country for the first time. Too often we associate learning as something we have to endure, and that it happens in certain places (schools and universities), and at certain times (also known as the “school year”). But learning is not something that stops during the summer, or after you walk across the stage with a funny hat to receive a diploma. A rich, …
The Best Time to Start
I received an email from a young man looking for advice. He recently graduated from the “comfort blanket of college and chucked towards the open jaws of real life.” He was hoping to receive some advice for young people in his situation to make the world outside not seem so threatening and overwhelming.The first step is to understand that although the world can be very overwhelming and threatening, it is also amazing and magical and overflowing with opportunity.The problem is that when confronted with uncertainty and overwhelm, most people hide under the false security of the status quo. We believe that if we get in line, do what we're told, and play by the rules, everything will be ok. But that life only seems safe. Trusting the outcome of your story to someone else?Now that's risky.My advice to young adults is to start chasing that dream now and stay the course. It will be hard, yes, but it only gets harder later. You have the advantage of naïveté and passion and low overhead and very …
This Post Makes No Sense
We like to pretend that we are rational creatures. That’s cute.In his book, Predictably Irrational, behavioral economist Dan Ariely digs deep into the reasons why smart people make irrational decisions every day. It’s a fascinating read, and proof that we are not as logical as we think we are.Logic is the default mode of Adulthood. We pride ourselves on being rational and realistic.Children, however, do not shy away from the illogical, irrational, and (seemingly) unrealistic.The reason I think we grown-ups should be more like kids goes beyond making our lives more fun (although that’s a great by-product). It’s because it can help us solve big problems and achieve our most important goals.Another book that has gotten me fired up about this recently comes from advertising legend Rory Sutherland. In Alchemy: The Dark Art and Curious Science of Creating Magic in Brands, Business, and Life, Sutherland argues that logic and rational thinking are not always the best way to solve our most …
Just The Way You Are
I recently had a speaking engagement in Pittsburgh. While there, I was able to visit the Heinz History Center, where they have a collection of props and set pieces from the television show Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, including King Friday’s Castle and X the Owl’s tree. Like many, I have been greatly impacted by the work and life of Fred Rogers. As we perused the gift shop, I was looking for a magnet to add to my big yellow tool chest in my studio. There were a number of options to choose from, each featuring different sentiments. The one I was most drawn to, and ultimately bought, was a pink one that said, “I like you just the way you are.” Although there were others I liked better in terms of design, I felt like this one had the message I most need to hear.I consider myself a confident person, but I often find myself focusing on the areas I fall short, wishing I was more this or more that. Sometimes I wish I was a bit more extroverted.I definitely wish I was handier …
What to Do About The Weeds in Your Life
If you’ve ever been to one of my speaking programs, there's a good chance you’ve seen me share this artwork.Recently, a person came up to me after a talk, and under her breath, sheepishly admitted, “I’m sorry, but they’re still weeds to me.”I thought that was interesting, especially because I never actually said they weren’t. Dandelions are, at least horticulturally speaking, weeds. But they are also, according to most four-year-olds, wishes. (And flowers for Mom.)The thing is, challenges are like weeds. Once a challenge has sprung up in your life, pretending that it doesn’t exist doesn’t make it true. A field of dandelions may very well represent a million weeds, but it can also represent a million wishes. It's both. The power comes in deciding which viewpoint you choose to adopt. The key word is CHOOSE.Basically, that’s what my book, A Chance of Awesome, is all about. It’s not about living in a magical fairy land pretending our problems don’t exist. (I’ve found that usually only …
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How to Make Your Dreams Come True Faster
We recently surprised the kids by taking them to see Disney’s live-action remake of Aladdin. (All five of us give it two thumbs up.) Us grown-ups can see a movie like that, a fantastical tale of magic lamps and genies and three wishes, and acknowledge it as a work of fiction. And yet, when our own dreams don’t come true as fast as it takes a blue-skinned genie to snap his fingers, we think something is wrong. Ok, maybe we don’t expect our dreams to come true the instant we wish for them, but I know there have been times in my life when the realization of a dream seemed to be in slow motion. It felt as other people were making things happen left and right, while I was stuck in neutral. The truth is, most dreams – especially the worthwhile ones – take longer to materialize than we think they will. The enthusiasm that accompanies us in the beginning is important. It is the rocket fuel that propels us forward, getting us to take that first step. But eventually, after the empty …
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