In September of 2019, I was booked to speak at a nurses conference in Hawaii and we decided to make it a family trip. The gig was in Honolulu, but we spent the first week on the windward side of Oahu, in the shadow of the ridge overlooking Lanikai and Enchanted Lakes, suburbs of Kailua. On that ridge snakes the Lanikai Pillbox trail, boasting one of the best views in Hawaii. There are pillboxes throughout the Hawaiian islands, typically built to be military observation stations. Although this particular one was built after the attack on Pearl Harbor in World War II, it is …
You & Improved
The Best Way to Deal with Your Worst-Case Scenario
I recently gave the most nerve-wracking talk of my life. It was in front of my peers, at the national conference for professional speakers. It's sort of like performing open-heart surgery on another heart surgeon while hundreds and hundreds of other heart surgeons watch.In other words, tough crowd.At my first convention fifteen years earlier, I was awestruck by the speakers on the main stage. They were polished, poised, and really, really good. I decided then and there I wanted to be on that stage someday.This past July, I had my chance.The theme was Radical Relevance, and Kim and I were …
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Combating the Pandemic of Loneliness
Long before COVID-19 emerged on the scene like poop in a punchbowl, there was another pandemic that had taken hold of our society. The pandemic of loneliness. We are supposedly more connected than ever, with the little internet-enabled devices we carry with us everywhere. And yet loneliness, depression, and suicide are at all-time highs. Kim and I noticed this phenomenon well before COVID, but the pandemic has exacerbated the problem bigly. This leads me to think about the connection between two seemingly unrelated movies that came out the same year: the wonderfully uplifting A …
What’s Your Must Be Nice?
It’s a natural human tendency to compare ourselves to others, especially to people who are in the same field we’re in. Comparison isn’t necessarily a bad thing if it leads us to discover areas where we can improve. But when it shifts into envy or jealousy, that’s a problem. I often attend the annual convention for the National Speakers Association. I always have to brace myself for the “must be nice” game. In the speaker world, it goes like this: Of course he gets booked all the time, he’s a former NBA player. Must be nice. She’s got so many connections from working all …
Do You Know the Real Reason They Made Stonehenge?
I remember the painting critiques back in art school. After spending several weeks working on our masterpieces, we’d all sit in a circle and explain what our paintings were about. Someone would inevitably say their piece was a postmodern reaction to the phycological impact of the industrial revolution that caused existential dread. To me it looked like a canvas with some paint sloppily applied. It did seem like the students who were better at making “serious" art got better grades. (Or perhaps they were just better at explaining why their art was serious.) Perhaps this is why, after making …
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More Cowbell Please
Somehow, the television show Saturday Night Live took a lowly old cowbell and turned it into a pop culture phenomenon.The famous skit imagines a studio session with the band Blue Oyster Cult recording their hit song “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper.” Christopher Walken, as “rock legend” Bruce Dickinson (“the cock of the walk, baby!”), singles out the little-used percussion instrument, played by Will Ferrell. Hilarity ensues as Dickinson urges the band to highlight the cowbell in the song. Now the script was funny, and Walken and the other actors nailed their performances. But what is most …
The Most Important Step to Achieving a Dream…
...is the next one. How do you eat an elephant?I’m not sure what elephants taste like, or why you’d ever want to eat one, but the answer, of course, is one bite at a time. (Mustard is optional, but a little enthusiasm never hurts.)The same instructions apply when it comes to accomplishing a big dream: One bite at a time.Tinkering embodies this spirit perfectly. Tinkering implies baby steps, not grand gestures: a little of this, a little of that.I've accomplished some of my biggest dreams in the past few years. They were all accomplished with a healthy dose of tinkering, taking one baby step …
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Why We Fall Prey to Adultitis
If you wear dress socks to a Zoom meeting.If you think the dictionary should be made into a movie.If you were disappointed to learn that Fifty Shades of Gray was NOT a home decor manual.These are signs that you might have Adultitis. We like to have fun with it, but Adultitis is no joke. No one would willingly drink poison guaranteed to destroy their health, strain their relationships, and sap the joy from their life. But that's exactly what Adultitis does, and yet, most adults are infected with some form of it. Why? How do we get stuck in its vile clutches when it's obviously preferred to …
Now for the Fun Part: An Open Letter to Grads
Hello, graduate. Congratulations on your accomplishments and a job well done!Now for the fun part.You’ve made it this far by following directions, filling in little circles, asking for permission, standing in line, and raising your hand before speaking up. The instructions have been clear: do this (take these classes, write this paper, complete this assignment) and get this (pass the course, earn a recommendation, receive a degree.) You got to this point by following the rules. Now that you’ve graduated, it’s time to start breaking some. Make no mistake, the work is …
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I Got a Rock
In the immortal words of a trick-or-treating Charlie Brown...I got a rock.It wasn't just any rock, mind you; it was a kindness rock. If you are unfamiliar with the concept, people hand-paint ordinary rocks with inspirational or encouraging messages and leave them in a public place for someone to find. This particular one was shaped a bit like a heart, painted red, and included the words, "Love you." I found it on a walk, near the lakeside bench where I like to sit. I immediately recognized what it was, but completely resisted the idea that it could actually be intended for me. After all, …