Sometimes people look at successes I've had and say, "Must be nice," as if they happened by magic. What they don't often see is the framework that helped enable that success. Fortunately, it's a framework anyone can develop. We often assume that in order to be successful, we need to be great at one thing. That can work—see LeBron James, for example—but that path is extremely difficult and unlikely. The truth is you only need to be pretty good at a handful of ordinary skills. You just need to build a talent stack. Scott Adams, the creator of the comic strip Dilbert, popularized …
You & Improved
The Artful Balance of Dreaming and Doing
When I was a teenager, my mom called me a dreamer. She didn’t mean it as a compliment, but she wasn’t wrong. I've always been idealistic, my head regularly inhabiting the clouds. I’d sing along with John Lennon’s Imagine and revel in the fact that we were soul mates. You’re NOT the only one, John. We’re in this together! I took pride in that side of myself. But when my mom labeled me a dreamer, and I knew it wasn’t a compliment, it got my attention. Of course, my idiot teenage response was, "What does she know?" Eventually, I would relate to Mark Twain, who said, …
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Because You Said So
We recently renovated the rec room in our basement. The transformation mostly consisted of several gallons of paint and some key new decor purchases. In the past, I would have been tasked with the paint job, but this time, we decided to make it a family affair. It was a great idea, mostly because I'd still be working on it — the bead board required four coats alone — but also because it gave us a shared sense of accomplishment and excitement for the finished product. The kids weren't token helpers, either. I managed the trim, but they were involved in everything else. Lucy is fourteen …
Your Life as a Goonie
My family watched The Goonies recently. I've probably seen it a dozen times, as it was a favorite from my childhood. If you haven't seen it, Wikipedia offers this summary: "The Goonies is a 1985 American adventure comedy film co-produced and directed by Richard Donner from a screenplay by Chris Columbus, and based on a story by Steven Spielberg. In the film, a group of kids who live in the 'Goon Docks' neighborhood of Astoria, Oregon, attempt to save their homes from foreclosure and, in doing so, they discover an old treasure map that takes them on an adventure to unearth the long-lost …
A Ridiculously Easy Way to Rekindle a Friendship
"I Just Called to Say I Love You" is a famous Stevie Wonder song. It's also the title of this painting. One word in that title might be more important than all the others. We'll get to that in a sec. When my wife Kim and I were dating, we'd spend hours and hours on the phone, talking late into the night, racking up phone bills that if bound together, would make the longest Harry Potter book look like a pamphlet. This was in the days when phones were attached to walls and the "call waiting" feature was a source of civil war for any siblings also angling for phone rights. My personal …
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The Downside of Doing Things the Regular Way
How do I eat my cereal? The regular way. I pour cereal into a bowl. Then I pour milk over the cereal. Then I eat the cereal, savoring the first bites before said cereal is ruined with sogginess. My wife does it differently. She pours cereal into a bowl. Then she adds the milk. Then she goes on a two-week vacation. Then she eats the cereal. Somehow, we've been married for almost twenty-three years. I recently learned of yet another way to approach this breakfast staple that might be even weirder. I actually met a person who pours the milk in first, before the cereal. She …
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Keep Swinging
Babe Ruth hit 714 home runs in his 22-year career. He also struck out 1,330 times. When he swung the bat, not even he knew exactly what would happen. Sometimes I create art that feels like a grand slam home run. I am convinced that everyone everywhere will love it. Awards will be won, museums will come calling, and grown men will weep. Instead, the ball glances off the end of my bat and dribbles weakly down the first base line. The world responds to my brilliant work of art with a deafening, "Meh." Then there are other times when something I created as an afterthought, with scant …
How to Win at the Game of Life
It's that magical time of the year. Pitchers and catchers have reported and spring training has officially begun. March Madness is almost upon us; faces will be painted and brackets will be broken faster than an over-caffeinated cheetah. I am a competitive person. But more times than I'd care to admit, too much of my self-worth gets wrapped up in what my team does on game day. I'm embarrassed to say that I've thrown things across the room and have had whole days ruined by a tough loss. I've shown more emotion in celebrating a big win than I did for any of the births of my three kids. (On …
Can I Interest You in Some Free Happiness?
We were at the dinner table, eating spaghetti and meatballs. As I raised my fork, I paused and made a declaration. "We need some Vitamin Sea. Let's go to Florida." No convincing was needed. Everyone dropped their silverware and pushed themselves back from the table. We hastily packed a few bags and loaded into the car, leaving our dirty dishes behind. We were off! Ok...that's not exactly how it went when Kim and I decided our family needed a break and chose Destin as our destination. Spaghetti wasn't involved, there were about two weeks between the decision and the …
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Hallelujah Chorus
What makes life worth living? When we look back on a given year, it's easy to identify the massive oak trees and tall pines that stand as signposts: the weddings and the funerals, the epic vacations, and the major accomplishments. But we often overlook the small blessings – the birds within the trees, if you will. Our minds can only hold so much information, and in my experience, our hard drive space seems to dwindle with each passing year. The brain prioritizes the stuff it determines is important, discarding the rest. Those giant oaks and majestic pines take precedence. I've …