I had a bully in middle school. His name was John B. (I'm withholding his last name because I am sure he matured into a nice man with great kids and has started a charity to feed homeless cats.) But he was a jerk back then. He looked like a swollen eggplant with hair. A year older than me, John B. never punched me or beat me up. He never separated me from my lunch money. No, John was an orator, preferring to use his words to belittle and humiliate me. It all began when we had to draw our shoes in art class and the teacher hung our work in the hallway. Now my brothers and I weren't …
You & Improved
Trying to Make the World Better is Always Worth a Try
I don't know if you've noticed, but the world is pretty jacked up. There's plenty of blame to go around, but the real question is, how do we fix it? Here's an idea: If there was any way we could all become a little bit more like Mister Rogers, I think we'd be on the right track. Easier said than done, I know. But making the world better is always worth a try. I suspect even he would downplay that suggestion, pointing out that we're all special in our own way. He wouldn't want us to be more like him; he'd want us to be more like ourselves. Our best selves. If there's anything we …
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Your Inner Check Engine Light
Mama said there'd be days like this. Sometimes when we're feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or sad, we simply need a time out. Or pizza. That was the prescription our midwife gave us after Lucy was born. Kim and I had come into the delivery day mentally depleted, our first child already a few weeks overdue. Then the labor itself was a marathon. After the birth, Kim almost fainted because of a drop in blood pressure. As she recovered, it was on me to put on Lucy's first diaper and figure out out to dress a four-hour-old (it's like trying to gift-wrap Jell-O) before clearing …
What Makes Someone An Artist?
What makes an artist an artist? I was dubbed an artist as a kid and I held onto that label ever since. Back then, I operated under the assumption that artists were people who were good at drawing things. Eventually, I started to realize that artists came in many flavors. We could include painters, sculptors, fashion designers, photographers, poets, songwriters, musicians, actors, dancers...and the field grows. Looking at the aforementioned list, one might be tempted to reframe an artist as anyone who does creative work. Which is fair. But doesn't it require creativity to figure out a way to …
May This Force Be With You
May the force be with you. Especially if that force is the power of compound interest.Even a small amount of money, if earning interest and given enough time, will eventually become a mighty sum. It's a much better play than burying money in a metal can under a maple tree. The hard part is getting started because it takes a while to notice any momentum and it's more gratifying to spend those dollars on something you can enjoy NOW. Only recently have I realized the power of compound interest extends beyond the financial realm.When I was in my twenties, I regretted not being able to put money …
A Case for Embracing Your Comfort Zone
We need to spend more time IN our comfort zones. There, I said it. Bless me, Father, for I have sinned against all that is holy in the culture of self-improvement. Every so-called guru constantly advises us to shore up our weaknesses and do things that are out of our comfort zone. It's apparently the magic path to success, riches, and enlightenment. And it might be robbing the world of the best we have to offer. Of course, there is a pearl of wisdom in this adage. I am an introvert, and I can credit some of the most awesome aspects of my life to the times I stretched my comfort …
What The Best Leaders Do
His name was Joel, but I called him Mr. Dawson. He was one of the best leaders I’ve ever known.On the surface, Mr. Dawson was just a regular guy who coached youth baseball. But he was kind, humble, and strong, albeit not in the "benchpress dump trucks" sort of way. A rare autoimmune disease took several fingers on one hand. But he was able to balance a baseball with it while holding a bat with his other hand. During practice, he'd carefully toss the ball upwards and whack it with the bat in the direction of a fielder.When I played Little League, he managed an opposing team, but his vote helped …
Always Stop at the Lemonade Stand
I grabbed my keys and slammed the door as hard as I could. I got in the car and headed out of our neighborhood. I may or may not have screamed some choice obscenities as loud as I could, hoping it might exorcise the anger that was overflowing within me. What drove me into this state of rage?Just the realization that I'd forgotten to buy one of the main ingredients for that evening's dinner.A small thing in the grand scheme, and I am normally as mild-mannered as they come, but this tipping point was the latest in a long line of assaults from Adultitis. I'd had a terrible, horrible, no good, …
Whimsy is the Way
Do you ever feel lost?It seems like an absurd question when we all have smartphones offering turn-by-turn directions to anywhere we want to go. But having access to all the paths isn't the same as knowing which one to take. What happens when none of the paths you've tried have led to where you want to go? What do you do when you know where you are now isn't where you want to be, but none of the roads before you seem quite right? What then?Perhaps the best place to begin is with those little bits of colored whimsy people sprinkle on ice cream sundaes. Indeed, it's as good a starting place …
Based on True Events
Sometimes you'll see a message at the beginning of a movie letting you know it was "based on true events." There's something dramatic about it because it's exhilarating to watch an amazing story that wasn't just imagined, but really happened. At least part of it. You see, I'm always skeptical of that claim because I feel they're being intentionally vague. It makes me wonder, what parts are the true parts? How much of it is factual? Half? Thirty-three percent? One percent? Did they leave out important details? Or exaggerate stuff for the sake of a better story? Did they shorten the …