Looking for Life’s Pause Button (Unsuccessfully)

lucy_pumpkinLucy is eleven months old today, and she’s starting to give hugs now.

Holy cow, is THAT ever cool.

Especially because up to this point, she hasn’t been what I’d describe as “touchy-feely.” Sure, she’ll nestle in close if she’s really tired, but most of the time she’s much too independent for any of that mushy stuff. She’s quick to wriggle out of your arms to go exploring and generally do her own thing.

I think the eleven month mark is way too early to be getting glimpses of what the teenage years are going to look like.

But yes, the hug thing is pretty cool. I’ve been so focused trying NOT to wish away time by looking ahead to “easier” stages that I honestly haven’t spent a ton of time thinking about the fun stages ahead: getting kisses, hearing her say Daddy, and coloring together at the kitchen table. Because of this effort, these fun things have become little surprises along the way, which is cool.

As much as I wish there was, there is just no “pause” button, dangit. (Thanks for the reminder on that, Mel.) I feel like I’ve done a pretty good job trying to squeeze the marrow out of every moment, but time is still flying by. I mean I’m not perfect or anything. I still find it easier to dive into work — which seems more tangible and productive — than sit and watch her play, which I know is no less important. But being mindful of that urge is a good thing, and I’d give myself an 8 out of 10 in that department.

I guess I should rest easy knowing that I was mindful of the little moments along the way and that I won’t have to worry about the regret of missing out on the good stuff because I was too “busy” doing other things. That’s the best any of us can hope for.

What really stinks is that even if you do EVERYTHING right (which is, of course, impossible or something), you still can’t stop a little girl from growing up way too quickly.

Dang.

Happy birthday, Lucy. Slow down a little bit, okay?

Comments

  1. Anastasia doherty says:

    That is amazing how fast time goes isn’t it? I can’t believe her birthday is arriving soon – I’m sure you’ll celebrate it and the past year of parenthood well. Good job guys. Love, Anastasia

    • Anastasia,
      Thanks so much! I look fondly back on that December night and how comforting and cozy you guys made everything. You helped make the wonderful experience of welcoming little Lucy into the world even more awesome and memorable!

  2. Libby says:

    Ugh, yes, I need a pause button and fast!!! My weekend was over in a blink, this year has gone by in a half a dozen, and my boy has gone from age 3 to 5 in a dozen blinks, and I’m already very upset about how fast the next 5, 10, 15 years are going to go. It’s hard, esp on Monday mornings, to keep my perspective on the positive things because we need to makes some serious work life changes (which we are trying to figure out) in order to enjoy more of these years and have more family time and until that happens I just feel like I’m missing out on some important stuff, not all of it, but some. I’d like to use a very negative word here to say how it feels, but since it is November and coming onto Thanksgiving I will focus on all I’m thankful for and not on all the stress of a two-parent family working two jobs and starting a business! We pay our bills. There! Something to be thankful for! Ok, back to work.

    Yes, enjoy Lucy, she’s adorable. I enjoy your stories about her and her cute face posted on here as well.

    • Thanks, Libby. It’s always important to take stock in the things we’re grateful for — especially when things are a little hectic. The busier we are the more likely we are to miss out on the best parts, making that time we can never get back go by even faster!

      Good luck to you guys!

  3. She’s so beautiful! Hard to believe she’ll be a year old in a month. Jesse is right behind her.
    Time has a way of getting away from us. Sometimes I hate time, but it’s given me some awesome memories.

    Gotta run and get ready for Ida. I can’t believe we’re going to get hit with a hurricane in November. It’s not even warm outside!

  4. Minette says:

    LOVE Lucy’s cap while she’s checking out the pumpkins! She’s looking like her mom!