Our lives are busy. Busy, busy, busy! In fact, isn’t it true that we use busyness as a badge of honor? As in, “How’s it going, Bob?”
“Great Stan. I’ve been really busy.”
“That’s good, Bob.”
Meanwhile, Stan thinks to himself, “Bob is super successful. He’s a real go-getter. Every time I see him, he seems really busy.”
It seems like whoever can prove they’re the busiest wins. (Although I’m not sure what.) It’s rare that anyone bothers to ask what someone is busy doing. Annd it’s rarer still that anyone would ever admit, “I’ve haven’t been very busy at all. I’m just taking life as it comes, enjoying it one moment at a time.” Today, Seth Godin offers this bit of honest persepctive:
Last week, I was running from one meeting to another in the city when I passed an old friend on the street. “No time to talk, sorry!” I said as I hustled off.
When we connected by email a bit later, he said he hoped I had a good meeting, and that it was worth the hustle.
I couldn’t remember where I had been headed.
It seemed important at the time.
Sometimes we need to slow down and realize that the things we think are super urgent — the things that keep us oh so busy — really aren’t.
This is one of my PET PEEVES, and one behavior that I consciously made the decision to change about three years ago. I got really tired of the competition of “busyness,” trying to prove all the time how important I was because of all the THINGS I had to do. Bah. I really try now 1) not to be too busy and 2) not to attempt to one-up other people with my very important busyness.
Kudos to you, Lisa! If only there were more people like you who didn’t find it necessary to compete in the Busy Olympics!
Jason,
I just read Seth’s post and it really hit home. I realized that my response lately to “How have you been?”…has been, “Good. Just REALLY busy!”…What the heck is THAT?
You know what else I noticed? It puts people off. Like they don’t quite know how to respond. Granted, I have been busy, but I’ve also been enjoying the fruits of my labor. I’ve also been spending more quality time with family, and friends. I’ve just been living a full life!
I’m all about language, and your post and Seth’s have both made me realize that my word choice stinks! A simple, “I’m Great! How are YOU?” would be a much better response.
Thanks for the reminder.
Kammie K.
Nice post! I like these points, from Edward Hallowell’s book “CrazyBusy: Overstretched, Overbooked, and About to Snap! Strategies for Coping in a World Gone ADD”:
* fast: a modern synonym for good
* slow: a synonym for agonizing (really slow), boring (ordinarily
slow), or of poor quality (merely lacking speed)
Interesting synonyms, Matthew. Looks like I’ll have to check out that book.
Kammie, I love the idea of saying, “I’m great! How are you.” rather than the tried-and-true “Busy.” I find myself lazily using that phrase too often as well.
Matthew’s comment reminds me of how I’ve been fascinated that we used to wait patiently for things, but now, in the age of sometimes-lightning-fast web connections, we’re going crazy when something takes more than a couple seconds.
Good point, Steven. Makes me shudder to think what things will be like 100 years from now! I wonder if we’ll be on the same track, or if there will be some sort of counter reaction.