I admit it. I’m a sucker for those “kids say the darndest things” lists. And I’m not too shameful to admit that I can’t wait to have kids just so I can hear some original stuff firsthand.
My friend Marilyn sent me a list entitled, “Angels Explained By Children.” With the Hollywood writers’ strike going on, maybe producers should just hire kids; the stuff they come up with is often funnier than the pros.
The cool thing is that most of the times kids say something funny, they’re not trying to be.
It’s not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to Heaven, and then there’s still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.
–Matthew, 9
Every time hear or read something funny said by a child, I am reminded by how differently they see the world. And I wish and I strive to think that way too. Why? Well for one, children are clearly the best unintentional comedians in the world.
Angels talk all the way while they’re flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead.
–Daniel, 9My guardian angel helps me with math, but he’s not much good for science.
–Henry, 8
They are the best brainstormers because they’re not afraid to look silly while proposing a hypothesis.
When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there’s a tornado.
–Reagan, 10Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go south for the winter.
–Sara, 6
And they have an innocence and other-worldly wisdom about them that helps them shed slivers of truth on the most complicated mysteries of the human experience.
Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don’t make the animals get better, they help the child get over it.
–Vicki, 8My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth.
–Lynn, 9
Part of what makes the stuff that comes out of the mouths of babes funny is their limited access to facts. Sometimes I think we could benefit from the same “disadvantage.” How great would it be if, from time to time, we could unlearn what we already know? It’s impossible to calculate how many more breakthroughs we’d see. Because they don’t have all the “facts” suggesting that something can’t be done, kids are more likely to come up with new solutions to old “unsolvable” problems. Just think: how would politics look (or our schools, our health care system, etc.) if people who proposed solutions weren’t drowned out by hordes of status quo fact police saying something can’t be done?
If you want to accomplish anything of significance, you’re going to need to look at things in a new way — with the preposterous curiosity of a child. And you’ll need to prepare yourself for the inevitable onslaught of naysayers.
After all, despite the skepticism of billions of people that came before them, Orville and Wilbur Wright had the audacity to believe that man could fly. What a silly proposition that was.
All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn’t go for it.
–Antonio, 9
Jason,
As I just told Kim – I just love your web site. Here is yet another example of the fun, insight and hilarity that I always find here. Children as like our tribal elders, they have so much understanding of life because they see without any of the preconceived notions that adults have.
I’ve always loved reading children’s books about magic. My favorite thing as an adult reading them is how many say that adults can’t do magic because they loose it as they grow up. And the writers are
adults! (Or are they children in disguise? I sometimes wonder.) Those books often help me keep the magic alive in my own life.
Thanks, Shirley. Children as our tribal elders…I like that :)
When I was pregnant with Colin, who I surrogated for another couple, Michael was almost 3. Whenever you see a pregnant woman with a small child, it is the law that you go up to said small child and ask them if they’re going to be a big brother (or sister, where applicable.)
Michael’s response at the bank teller window:
“Oh, no. I’m not going to really be a big brother. We don’t get to keep this baby. The lady’s going to come and take this baby to another Mummy.”
My older sister, Marla, used to discuss “handicaps” with her kids. (The fact I’m deaf started the conversation.) She told them if someone’s in a wheelchair or on crutches or something else, it’s ok to ask them why but it’s also ok for the person to say it was private. Well, my nephew was about 5 at the time and they went to a food court at the mall and he noticed a woman who was what we now call “weight challenged”. With his mother’s rules in mind, he walks over to the woman and in a rather loud voice, asks her, “why are you so much bigger than my mom?” My sister smiles weakly at the woman and prays she won’t yell at her son. Fortunately, the woman had a sense of humor about it all, she smiled, leaned down and said, “I probably eat more than your mom does!” He looked at what she was eating and said, “Yeah, you do!”, then walks back, satisfied. We still laugh at this story. Never be afraid to ask questions!
Ah…out of the mouths of babes.