This weekend, Kim and I are planning to visit stores like Target, Babies ‘R Us, and Just Leave Your Wallet at the Door It’ll Be Easier in order to register for upcoming baby showers. (Raining babies, what a concept!)
In preparation, I, the dutiful father, have come up with an idea.
This could be one of my best ideas ever.
Or it could rank right up there as the one I most regret.
I thought it might be a good idea to get the advice of our readers on a few things, as I know plenty of parents are following along. We live in an apartment, so we don’t have all kinds of extra space for the at-home version of McDonald’s Playland. So here’s what I want to know: What are the must-have, ignore-them-at-your-own-risk essentials? And what are the fuhgedaboutit, don’t-even-bother-no-matter-what-everyone-else-says items?
So here’s your chance. Veteran parents, please leave your thoughts in the comments. Other than duct tape (of course!), what are your 3-5 must-haves, and what are your 3-5 top fuhgedaboutits?
Two items I did not have with my first that I used constantly with my second son were a Boppy Pillow and borrowed ExerSaucer (one that collapsed to make space). I often wonder how and why we did not have them with our oldest, no less survived.
Another item both of my boys loved was our little swing. They outgrow the bounce seats so quickly, but the swing lasts a bit longer.
If your future little one is a binky baby, by all means please get a binky string to save headaches when out. The few extra bucks is worth them getting tossed on the ground, flying in the car and getting lost in the binky abyss.
We LOVE our little Fisher Price Space saver high chair. When we lived in a larger apartment we had a big highchair and it was a space hog. This time we bought the little chair that has the features of a big chair, but just hooks onto any chair you have around. Another great object to have is the FP Carry and Go Booster seat. Something to use when a little older, but it is great to have on the go at restaurants and friends houses. Too many times the booster seats and highchairs at restaurants are quite nasty looking.
Good luck and happy registering!
A baby carrier was one of my favorite baby purchases. I’d forgo the pricey brands that you can buy at the baby stores and look online instead. You can find a lot more selection when it comes to styles. Babies grow out of the Bjorn-type front carriers pretty quickly. But if you get a sling or a mei tai, you can wear the baby on your hip or back when they’re too big to carry in front.
My daughter loved her baby swing, and I’d recommend on that will rock either back and forth, AND side to side. Some babies have a strong preference, and you won’t know until you’ve tried both.
My pediatrician advised me to make sure I left the hospital with a bulb syringe (baby nose sucker), since the hospital’s are better than any you can buy in the store.
When choosing an infant tub, look for one that folds up when it’s not being used. They are very useful, but kind of bulky, so that feature will save you some space.
Things I wouldn’t buy again if I were starting over:
A bumbo. A friend convinced me I wouldn’t be able to live without it, but we were only able to use it for a couple of months before my daughter figured out how to climb out of it. Not worth the money, unless you can buy one used.
A crib bedding set. You really just need a few fitted crib sheets. You’ll never use the quilt, unless you decide to hang it on the wall for decoration. And many pediatricians discourage the use of crib bumpers. Again, not worth the money.
I was given a boppy and never used it. But my daughter is adopted, so she was bottle-fed. If you are breastfeeding, a boppy would probably be more useful to you.
Expensive toys. Friends and family will buy toys for your little one, and even then kids would almost always prefer to play with an empty box or a couple of wooden spoons.
My kids are teenagers and I know a lot of new absolutely-can’t-raise-a-baby-without-this products have hit the market since they were babies so I can’t comment on those except to say we did just fine without them.
These were my must haves:
1.Stroller- you can’t leave home without it!
2.Port-a-crib- great for naps or play areas whether you’re home, visiting someone, or outside.
3.Sling- unless you want your arms to fall off your body once the baby starts gaining weight you need a comfy sling.
4.Bath thermometer- we used the little ducky kind from Wal-mart, but any kind will do. Just because the water feels fine to you doesn’t mean it’s fine for baby.
5.Wooden spoons(for when the baby becomes a two year old). A wooden spoon applied to the cushy tush of defiant little rebel will save you much heartache as the parent of a teen and benefit them in the long run.
Things we didn’t use:
1.Walker- never used one, never missed it. My oldest learned to walk by pulling up on things. His younger sister learned to walk by following behind her big brother and holding on to him. We lived in a small house and the walker was just way too space consuming for so little benefit. Free ranging worked better for us.
2.Swing- I know that most people love swings, but both of my kids hated it. They were never happy more than about 30 seconds in it.
3.Advice from people whose kids were holy terrors.
By the way, CONGRATULATIONS!
Oh, and I almost forgot one of our must haves: A pacifier!
LOL This is the worst thing you could ever ask because no two parents will agree! Even in the same family. My DH would rec’d the swing again, but I think it was $80 that was used for only about 3 months and for only about 15 minutes a day. Totally not worth it! (*maybe* if you get it as a handmedown. But even then, they take up way too much room, even ones that fold.)
A stroller? We NEVER used one. A sling/mei tai/Ergo baby carrier? I used them all the time! Mei tai (handmade with a gorgeous design) was my favorite. (Hate slings, can’t use them–too much weight rests on one hip.) Carrying your baby is the best thing to do.
The only essentials: a car seat (if you have a car), a few changes of clothes, and diapers (but don’t decide in advance what you’ll use for sure. You never know what will fit the kiddo or you’ll be able to stand). Notice I didn’t mention a crib, or toys, or tons of doohickeys. They aren’t essential.
Our daughter’s favorite toys were dog chew toys (she never used a baby chew toy) and Daddy’s shoes and socks.
On the other hand, things we still have today from when she was a baby (she’s now 3.5): the mei tai (I won’t give it up, just in case other babies are around), the pack n play (used for all 3.5 years till she used a big bed), and just a few favorite toys and books.
And lasting items, like the piggy bank from her g’grandma; the handmade toys, blankets and clothes from family; the painting from her uncle; and the small amount of money that’s the beginning of her college fund.
Oh I should have also said
Boppy: totally used ours, even though we bottlefed
Nose syringe: never used it
Bath: used the sink and gave her showers; never used a baby bath or thermometer.
Changing table: we used the floor or the bed
Dresser: we used a hanging 6-shelf “sweater” shelf and still do. Takes up far less room and is so very very easy to find clothes in
Glider: told my DH we didn’t need one even though he thought they were great. 3 weeks after baby came home, we went hunting for one. I couldn’t get out of our easy chair while holding her!
And a book recommendation: Baby Bargains from Windsor Peak Press. Helped us choose all our car seats (and their wedding book saved me money on my wedding!) and the high chair, and a few other things.
Ok, when I went to Babies R Us, I became totally overwhelmed, and caught a major case of adultitis.
My husband was running around the store with the registry gun and I was like, “wait, stop, we need to think about this!” The choices and the items the stores and marketing professionals tell us we need, we may not need. And that store has everything you never knew you needed! So much depends on your parenting style, which you won’t completely know until Jr. arrives, and on the baby. I had a content, easy baby who I breastfed, who napped and slept well, and loved the swing. As no two people in the universe are alike, neither are any two babies. Case in point, my friends, who parent much like I did ended up with a highly emotional very attached baby and one who still doesn’t sleep well, insomuch that they still cosleep, still nurse, and still use a backpack carrier, and before she was as big as she is now, a sling. The overpriced Pottery Barn crib was never used! The swing was never used! They took apart their bed and have a double and single mattress on the floor. So needless to say, you never know exactly what your baby’s temperment will be, nor your parenting temperment. If you insist they sleep on their own, well then get a crib, if you are going to go the attachment parenting route (read Dr. Sears), you may not need one just yet. The one thing you have to have when you leave the hospital is a car seat for an infant, probably a diaper :) and something for him/her to wear, and a bit of a sense of humor. That’s about it. It’s certainly fun to buy/get all that stuff, but don’t sweat it as I did! (And Kim, I remember feeling like it had to be all set and perfect too!) I’ve found Graco to be a decent brand on most things. I concur about the bobby pillow, esp. if the baby will be nursed. I even took it to the hospital! I’ll leave it to you guys to figure out the rest.
Have fun! And remember the most important thing you need when becoming parents is a lot of love! That’s really all the baby will care about! And it will save you a lot of money and time putting all that stuff together as well.
Our daughter is also adopted and she’s been with us since she was 13 mo. old.
Here’s my list of Must Haves:
1. Stroller with storage underneath with enough room for baby stuff, small cooler and winter coats.
2. Back pack style diaper bag in a neutral color (your arms will be free to do other things, like carry your baby and open the door at the same time without waking him/her up).
3. Bibs.
4. A few crib sheets.
5. Books that YOU will enjoy reading to your child because you will have to read them over and over and over. I recommend “Cornelius P Mud, Are you ready for bed?”
6. Changing table. I never thought we’d want or need a changing table but we were given a used one and we love not having to kneel on the floor or bend over to change our daughters diaper! My husband and I are both glad we didn’t refuse it because we always thought they were a silly thing to own but we’re so glad we have one.
7. Things that you won’t mind your child chewing on. We never used a pacifier because our daughter just spit it out but we had a few toys for her that were for chewing and at times they have been life savers because she explores the world through her mouth. Her latest find is sand.
8. Monitor
I don’t know much about infants but the fewer big bulky plastic things you have taking up space in your apartment, the less there is to trip over when you are sleep deprived.
Congratulations!
Gotta get: Baby swing, one that is stationary, more on that in a scond, Tickle me elmo, hey if it doesnt amuse the kids, its a great laugh for you (not to mention a fart machine, but I digress, its a dad thing), and, an intercom,after our kids grew up, we could pick up the neighbors phone on the frequency.
Get rid of: those swings that hang in the door way, aka the catapault, that is just a major accident waiting to happen, those things that wrap around your shoulder to carry the baby, although they look cool, but if you don’t have your masters degree in parenting, you cant figure them out. Cloth diapers, I still have nighmares about going to the toilet in an emergency and seeing them soaking there.
Must haves:
1. bottles that don’t contain that harmful plastic (or get glass bottles)
2. The Vaccine Book by Dr. Sears: Research what vaccines to give your baby. I WISH, WISH, WISH I read this before having my baby because they day after your baby is born, the hospital gives them the Hep. B vaccine and babies don’t need that at birth. Vaccines are important, but educate yourself!
3. Nice breast pump (not hand held). You can rent these before deciding on buying.
Forget these until after baby is born:
1. crib! (yes, because your baby may decide he/she will only sleep in bed with you and then you have a crib that is never used — happend to me)
2. walker/baby gym (again, wait and see how baby reacts to different toys)
3. expensive outfits — your child will most likely be wearing simply Onesies for your convenience!
Understand that all of these comments are subjective, and what worked for us might not be useful to you.
In our experience….
Must haves:
First two must haves apply only if breastfeeding.
Breastpump.
Whatever one works for you. I was given one (Aveda) used by a friend. If you look at used models, make sure it’s the kind where milk could never get into the pump, so you don’t need to worry about contamination since you’ll be sterilizing all the other parts. Hospitals will often rent pumps.
Lanoshin.
This purified lanolin ointment is a MUST for anyone planning to breastfeed. At our particular hospital, they keep this (no joke) under lock and key and only the lactation consultants, not the nurses are able to dispense it. Getting a tube of this and the advice to bring it to the hospital was the single nicest shower gift we got.
Bottles.
Bunch of kinds available, with all sorts of different bells and whistles. Try a few styles to see what your little one likes before you invest in a bunch of them. We ended up using the most basic plastic Gerber bottles. Given a chance to redo the last two years, I would have gone with glass, knowing what I know now about plastic leaching chemicals (BPA).
Changing table.
With space to put the necessities in easy reach.
Diapers.
Lots and lots of diapers!
Big flannel and fleece squares.
used for swaddling, spit clothes, laying on the floor for tummy-time and anything else you need them for. Have about 3 times as many as you think you’ll need, because you’ll want them handy in all main rooms, and you’ll be going through them pretty fast.
Not must haves, but really useful and worth the money:
swing. (multi-directional papasan style was great.)
bouncy seat.
O-ball. (easy to grasp toy that looks big but is easy to manipulate. Our boy is two and he still plays with this.)
electronic noise generator. (best with a few settings – heartbeat, waves, etc. our guy liked whitenoise of some sort for sleeping.
Stuff we never used, or only used a couple times:
Pack and play.
Got this for naps/overnights at grandamas, but he never was able to sleep in it, and we only used it a couple times at home. We thought we’d use it for him playing, but never did. Thought we’d use it to put him in for bathroom breaks, but ended up just putting him down in his crib instead. This was a huge waste of money for us.
Johnny-jump up.
Sure our baby liked bouncing in a springy sling seat, but hanging these in a regular sized doorway is just begging for bruises as you tot will careen (often head first) into the door jambs. I would ONLY recommend this to people whose house has an oversized or double doorway.
Disposable bra pads.
They quickly turn to linty mush. If you’re breastfeeding for more than a couple months, invest in reuseable cloth pads (or make your own from soft cotton flannel).
Best of luck and happy parenting!
So how did the baby registry trip go anyway? We need an update! :)
Thanks everyone! The registering got put off another week, so feel free to keep suggestions coming!
After 2 kids, I think the most important things we used were the following:
-Both our kids LOVED the swing—get one that goes side to side and back and forth. It was a lifesaver with Abby!
-Dr. Brown’s bottles. They are a bit more expensive, but they have a special mechanism inside that helps push air out of the bottle so there wasn’t as much gas. If you decide to breastfeed, don’t scrimp on getting a good breast pump. BUT…check ebay or other online sellers—you can get a great one for half the price.
-Gas drops—DEFINITELY USED A LOT! Get the off brand at Target
-Baby Bjorn or other sling type carrier. Used it so much!
Things we wouldn’t necessarily get again:
-Full-size high chair—takes up too much space. Get an infant to toddler chair that hooks to a regular chair.
-Bouncy seat—never really used it
-Expensive carseat, stroller combo. Both our kids hated sitting in the stroller once they passed the infant seat stage. We just bought a small, cheap umbrella stroller and it’s easy to fold and take anywhere.
-Big bulky diaper bag—get something small and easy to carry.
-Floor activity mats—never used it because I didn’t want the dog on it.
Oh—a few things I just though of to add to the must-haves:
-Johnny Jump-Up—-life saver when you are trying to get ready or do things…plus they are a lot of fun!
-LOTS of burp cloths. Just get a package of cloth diapers—they are thicker and cheaper than regular burp cloths.
-Don’t get: bottle warmer, wipes warmer, etc.
Have fun registering!!!
I love the duct tape idea. Dan and I always thought a wall with velcro would be good also. Easy to use and when not in use, you could put decorations on it.
Diaper Genie – Big Skunker!
Baby Entertainment center – Blanket + Mom or Dad & Toys works great & doesn’t take up room when not in use.
Who needs baby Genius music? Sing and talk to the wee litte person. I sang and read to mine constantly both of mine turned out just fine!
I also ditched the baby book – mine didn’t follow the rules. It was much easier taking each day as it came and so much more fun. After all the baby doesn’t know it’s supposed to follow the manual, does it?
Best wishes and God bless your family.
I agree with those who said all you really need are two breasts (even one will do in a pinch!), diapers, and a sling. That said, it is handy to have some kind of baby container that lets you take a shower, like an exersaucer or floor gym or swing.
What we never needed: crib and related paraphenalia, most toys, a stroller before age 2, bottles/pacis/jarred baby food.
Do yourself a really big favor and find a La Leche League group to visit *before* you give birth. You’ll find a wide range of opinions on parenting and duration of breastfeeding, cosleeping, etc., so you take what works for you and leave the rest (and try a couple different groups if the first one rubs you wrong). But it is sooo nice to know a Leader that you will feel comfortable calling for help at odd hours, instead of feeling like you’re imposing on a stranger!
Hi Kim and Jason–congratulations again! If you really want to do some research on this, I recommend getting your hands on a copy of “Baby Bargains” which is a great book that has info on EVERYTHING you could imagine, including which brands are most reliable, etc. It was very helpful to me as a first time parent. You can probably find it at the library or used online, and take it along with you to [insert Baby Megastore]. Our most important items were swaddle blankets (just a regular receiving blanket, or special idiot-proof ones that come with velcro), pacifier, Pack ‘N Play, and a breastpump (if Kim will be nursing and away from the baby at times). Also great is some kid of activity mat (our daughter loves to lie on the ground and look up at everything, and it’s also great for “tummy time” with all the colors) and some kind of bouncy chair/swing, when you want to put the baby down somewhere safe and comfy. Our daughter went through a few weeks where the only place she wanted to sleep was swaddled up and rocking in her swing. For us, that swing was worth its weight in gold! Finally, if you are thinking about cloth diapers (we LOVE them, and they’ve saved us a lot of money), check out http://www.cottonbabies.com. Our personal favorite is “BumGenious”. :)
Good luck!
Oh my goodness….this post could be PAGES long, so in the interest of time — I MUST get to bed — I’ll just offer this advice: Babies R Us usually has several “gear gurus” on staff. They’ve seen it all, including the most popular items that get returned for poor quality or non-use. Thus, I would ask for their opinions on what to request & what to avoid. Advise that person that you’re really limited on space; his/her suggested may be a unique product, as a result. For ex., I think it’s Graco that makes a swing that is simply the frame…..therefore, you simply click in the baby’s carseat into the frame, and the carseat acts as the baby swing. I think it’s a cool idea, and this product came out AFTER I acquired our papasan swing. (which is also a great swing, but it does take up a lot of space) So a travel swing or the Graco swing frame might be a better choice for you.
I love my Metrolite stroller & carseat from Graco. Very light & easy to use. If you want a sling or wrap carrier, there are online directions on how to make one in 5 minutes for under $5. (versus paying $60 for a Moby or something like that!)
Breastfeeding? I prefer a manual pump, even though I spent big buckaroos on the Medela electric. Manuals are much less expensive & work well for me, personally. But everyone’s different. YOu could rent an electric from the hospital to see how it works for you, before investing the money.
Bottles: I did the Dr. Browns with Dominic. they worked well to prevent gassiness, etc…..BUT, they become quite cumbersome to clean. There are so many parts. This time around, I traded those in (because of the BPA plastic) & acquired Playtex Drop-ins Nursers. I love them! The liners can be purchased in generic form & they work just fine. I even wash & rinse the liners sometimes to be extra cheap. :-)
More later…
Three unusual things were essential:
1. Baby wipe warmer: No kidding. Think about it. It’s 2 am, you just woke up with a full load. It’s December. It’s cold. Do you want the nice warm wipe or the cold one? Happy baby = happy parents!
2. Triple Paste: The absolute magic cure/prevention for diaper rash. Ask for it at the pharmacy counter.
3. Crib liner: Little soft, washable pads to put under baby — much easier to switch out than the crib sheets.
Oh, one more thing: a baby backpack (the kind the kid ride in) This is for when the wee-one is a bit bigger (can hold up his/her head), but so great for walks and being out & about where strollers can be cumbersome. You guys like the outdoors — you’ll want one!
We got ALOT of things that took up ALOT of space! The things that have been the most useful are: the stroller, a good baby carrier, I have had MANY, and my favorite one is called the ERGO Baby carrier. YOu can carry the baby in the front, then on your back (when he/she gets big enough) and even on the side. And this carrier doesn’t hurt your back. I have put our children in the backpack part many times, when trying to get dishes or laundry done. They LOVE IT!! You can also use a baby backpack for this purpose too.
I also love my SLING. Its easy to throw on when I have to run into a store, or for holding the baby at church.
And I love my Boppy!
AND my SNOOGLE! This isn’t so much for baby, its for Mommy! ITs the BEST BODY PILLOW EVER!!! Although it doesn’t leave much room for Daddy in bed….but is SO COMFY!! :-)
We used our swing for just a few months, but it was helpful for those months.
NEVER USED a pack and play!
The BUMBO…not really that much help either.
Bouncy Seats are good for awhile. But get a compact one. Maybe a bouncy that is also a swing to save room!
Have fun!! :-)