It’s summer, but I have to keep reminding myself that school is out. Because I don’t see any kids. Not during the day, at least. It’s eerily quiet. I suppose they are all probably inside playing Wii, or more likely, off at some day care center.
It’s a shame, if you ask me.
For most of the kids in my generation and the ones before, summertime was enjoyed outdoors. At home and around the neighborhood.
My brothers and I spent our summer days in and out of the kiddie pool and sandbox (resulting in a wet sandbox and a sandy pool). With a tennis ball, a pitchback, and a few slabs of square plywood to serve as bases, we devised countless baseball derivatives to amuse ourselves for hours. (Were we the only nerds obsessed with keeping stats?) And yes, sometimes we’d actually run out of ideas and complain to my mom that we were bored.
No one ever admits that they’re trying to keep up with the Joneses. Because the Joneses have evolved into those snobby people nobody wants to be like — the ones who hold their pinky up when they drink Perrier while sitting on their shiny yacht in Tahiti.
These days, most families have both parents working — with kids off in day care — not in an attempt to keep up with the Joneses, mind you, but just to “make ends meet.” What’s sad is how we live in a country where having two cars, air conditioning, and hundreds of channels on our TV is considered barely scraping by.
The Joneses are not some hoity-toity facsimiles of Thurston and Lovey Howell from Gilligan’s Island. The Joneses are your friends. Your neighbors. Your co-workers. The parents of your kids’ classmates.
Now for the hard questions. What’s your definition of “getting by?” What “necessities” in your life are really just thinly veiled luxuries? What are you giving up in your efforts of “getting by?”
We live in a land of plenty. But plenty hardly seems good enough anymore. Indeed, our quest for even more “plenty” has led to some unfortunate downsides.
Like our children getting gipped out of a summer vacation.
Thanks for a great column, Jason.
My husband and I used to spend more time envying the Joneses as opposed to keeping up with them. We don’t buy a lot of things or even have a lot of stuff. But seeing other people owning a nicer home or car or just appearing to have more money than us would quickly take over our thoughts and before we knew it, we were dwelling on what we were missing out on.
I’m happy to say that we’ve gotten a lot better these last few years at being appreciative of what we have. Our young child is a healthy reminder to us that all we need is a playground, a beautiful day, and our imagination to have a lot of fun.
We still don’t buy a lot of things or own a lot of stuff — and we’re richer for it.
I think that’s something the Joneses would envy.
Jennifer, A friend of mine once told me, “A life of compare leads to a life of despair.” Those words speak a lot of truth, and I think they sum up perfectly the wisdom in your comment. Thanks for sharing!
For reasons beyond our control, my kids and I are now living at about 60% of the federal poverty level. I have every reason to believe this will change in the next couple of months, but for the last few, it has been a HUGE eye opener. We can’t keep up with the Joneses, period. Heck, we can’t even eat at Taco Bell. We find as much free fun as we can, and we learn humility when we have to pass up opportunities because we can’t afford them. Sometimes I miss out on grown-up fun because I can’t pay a sitter.
But I am home with my kids! We eat our meals together! The kids climb trees and run around and ride their bikes! I am there to read bedtime stories and snuggle them to sleep. I don’t have “urgent” phonecalls interrupting us at inopportune times.
I’m really seeing how much kids want *us*, not the stuff. They want to keep up with the junior joneses, but when push comes to shove, they’ll take unstructured playtime and present parents over Wii every time.
Lynn, I totally remember wishing I had the cool shoes and latest video game when I was kid. There was no way my parents could (or would want to) keep up with some of my friends. I was bummed at the time, but looking back I totally respect where my parents were coming from and appreciate the extra time and perspective they gave us instead. They really nailed the whole parenting thing, and it sounds like you are as well.
Three kids…we have. And it can be a challenge to get them outside. Wii, computer, tv – vying for their attention.
My wife is home with them during the summer, and there when they get home from school during the school year. It’s important to us. And if that means we continue to drive our cars we’ve had for the last 8 years, it’s worth that too. To be there. And make sure they do get outside. Like the last couple of weeks while they’ve been building a platform into a tree in the yard. Or football games in the backyard. Or disc golf at the community park. Or a day trip to the local state park. Or vacations that offer experiences they’ll remember forever. All so worth the cost of NOT keeping up with the Jones’s…
Lance, You’re setting a great example of what’s really important in life, not only for the Joneses, but for your kids as well. Kudos!