Being a mom has been WAY harder than I ever imagined. (Mom, you sure made it look easy!)
Amidst many recent moments of second-guessing (the norm for first-time parents of a toddler), I am excited to report that I had a major breakthrough last weekend. You see, it was a perfectly beautiful summer afternoon in Madison. Days like that are the reason I endure Wisconsin’s never-ending month of February.
Jason, Lucy and I followed the sun down to the edge of Lake Mendota, more specifically to “The Union,” aka the living room of campus for UW-Madison, which overlooks the biggest lake around (except for that “great” one just right of Milwaukee.)
After saying hello to a number of duckies, a stroller ride down the path towards Picnic Point, and some fun conversation, we found ourselves in the SUPER DUPER long line for some of the best ice cream around. Well worth the wait.
[Side note: Lucy is showing all of the signs of a future chocoholic. (And I am secretly thrilled!) You see, for the last 10 years, I have been living with a man who simply tolerates chocolate. Ouch. All of you cocoa-lovers out there know the pain I’ve endured. After spending the previous 22 years living in a household dominated by estrogen (4 daughters, mom, and Princess our dog — oh, my poor dad!), chocolate cured all. Marrying a cherry pie/carmel cashew lover has been quite the culture shock. Our weekly pan of brownies growing up was a ritual that was about as sacred as our weekly visit to Mass. But, my patience has payed off. Our little Goldilocks is going to be sharing a 9 x 9 pan of chocolate heaven with her mom soon enough. And all will be right in the world, once again. Alas, I digress…]
So Lucy and I shared some chocolate ice cream and Jason enjoyed his lame, um, I mean lime sherbet.
I decided it was time for Lucy to have FULL control of her own ice cream cone. No micromanaging, as had been standard practice in the past. I handed it to her and we exchanged a look that I will never forget. It married surprise and wonderment. Her hazel eyes shined pure joy. She licked. She smiled. She concentrated. She beamed. And she ended up with the cutest brown ice cream goatee I have ever seen. Ice cream was up her nose, on her toes and everywhere in between. She undeniably enjoyed every. single. bite.
And here’s where the breakthrough came in.
I let go of the messy shirt, the sticky fingers, and crazy sugar buzz that would follow the inevitably mammoth clean-up.
I LET IT ALL GO.
“Never let making a mess get in the way of making a memory.” — Kim Kotecki
For all of my over-thinking lately regarding time-outs, whining, and our anti-veggie Lucy, letting go felt pretty darn good. I let her “be” and thoroughly enjoyed her bliss. In the process of savoring her joy, I recongized that there are moments like these just waiting in the wings all the time. All I need to do is to open my eyes to them and slow down long enough to let them happen.
How about you?
Can you do it?
How have you let go of a mess in order to make a memory lately?
Little kids, little messes. Big kids … mindboggling messes. LOL. Wonderful post!
Yes, there is truth to that!!! Thanks!!
In my office, I have a little table set up for my three year old daughter, Ella to various crafts on while I am doing my invoicing. I usually have one hand on the keyboard and one hand making sure that paint and glue were being applied to the correct surfaces. One day last week she was using her paints as intended so I focused on my task. After a while I noticed that Ella was very quiet. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her starting to paint her arms green. Instead of getting a rag, I calmly asked what she was doing. Her response, “I’m becoming a frog.” I let her continue to her other arm and her face and she was the cutest frog there was.
Susie, this story gives me chills. What an awesome moment you seized. You are an AWESOME mom! What a gift you gave her!! And a memory that will last forever. Thanks for sharing – and for your example!!!
@Susie – what a great story. “I’m becoming a frog” indeed! I love that you allowed her to continue becoming a frog and allowed her that moment.
I don’t have a child – but I do have a dog. (Which is kind of the same thing – except they don’t grow up & out of the house.) We go out to a local dog park where she can run safely (it’s fenced but big) – and there’s an enormous mud puddle in one of the far corners. I know it’s there – and so does Molly! She heads over there first thing to wallow in the mud (thankfully she doesn’t roll) and then runs around the dog park to her heart’s content. She’s a shorthair English pointer so most of the time the mud is dry (and sometimes has come off) by the time she’s finished running around the park and rolling in the grass. For the rest of the time, I just make sure I have towels in the car and an old comforter that permanently lives on the backseat! She has a ball and I have the best time watching her. (She challenges greyhounds to a game of chase – and stops the game when she starts to lose!)
Minette- the fact that you have towels in your car and that old comforter – that’s proof you have no Adultitis. Good for you, for letting Molly have fun. Sounds like Molly is one lucky Dog!!
By the way – I went to grad school in Madison. I very well remember “The Union” and Picnic Point! Great places to go – I walked to trails every morning before school. Where’s the best ice cream? It’s been 11 years since I was there for school so my memory’s kind of fuzzy on that…
Thanks Kim, this made me smile.
Very cute! Wish I could have seen that little ice cream adventure. However, Kim, although I am with you on the chocolate front, never… I and I mean NEVER… diss the gloriousness of the CHERRY PIE! :)
I have a very similar picture of the chocolate goatee. My firstborn (who is now 23) was about the same age and my mother put her on the back porch with a chocolate fudgsicle. She was wearing my absolute FAVORITE blue dress that brought out her eyes. I was FURIOUS with my mother. But I let go of may anger because she had that same look in her eyes. The dress was ruined, but that photograph remains my favorite to this day. She was sooooooo happy about that ice cream.
Great stories and past memories for me. My daughters who are 13 months apart gave me the best of both worlds . One made a mess of everthing she did while the other was a neat freak right down to eating grapes with a fork. Great Memories anyway you look at it.
Kim…you had a grandmother moment a generation early. This is one of the reasons being an Ahma is so terrific. You can let go because you don’t have all the I’ve-got-to-make-my-parenting-perfect-every-minute baggage. You and Lucy will both be better for those occasional messes! Love from Ahma Chris
What a great way to enjoy ice cream! That is exactly the way ice cream should be eaten by any child, all mess and no fuss!! :) Thank you Kim for your great insights and stories! I love reading about your adventures, they make me smile! I love being a mom and thought I was the only one who let my kids go wild! Examples:eat ice cream as you please, have a mud fight with my girls in the backyard after a rain shower, actually mix the playdough colors, squirt all the fountain drinks into a cup (yuck), have a burping contest with my boys, and just enjoy all those things that make us laugh together! God has blessed us with children and we appreciate those little things about life! Thanks again for this reminder of the beauty of ice cream and a proper mess!!!
~Denise