Minutes after a speaking program in northern Wisconsin, I got a call from Kim, telling me that my Dad wanted to arrange an urgent family meeting for the next day. We wondered aloud about the true importance of this meeting (my Dad has a bit of a history of overhyping things), especially since the day of the proposed meeting was the only one in which I’d be home in the span of a week. That free day was gold.
A call back to my Dad confirmed that the situation was serious, and he was adamant that he did not want to tell us about it by phone.
* Gulp *
And so began a 24-hour waiting period in which the only thing to do was entertain worst-case scenarios and pray that somehow, things would work out. To me, the worst case was that one of my parents was found to have cancer and had just weeks to live. I desperately hoped it was something else, like that my Dad had lost his job, but I knew even that would never warrant a response such as this. I spent the rest of the evening trying to get my mind off of it. When my thoughts did drift back to the gravity of the situation, it felt as if it were all a bad dream. Reality reminded me that it was not.
Suddenly I could relate to anyone who has ever had to wait for a diagnosis. No matter how dire the news, there is a certain peace in at least knowing what you’re dealing with. But the waiting and the not knowing, that’s the hardest part.
The next day my brothers and our wives convened at the home of my youngest brother. While waiting for my parents to arrive, we ate some pumpkin desserts my sister-in-law had whipped up, as if the sweetness would somehow counteract the sour news we all feared we were about to hear.
Eventually, my parent’s car pulled into the driveway. My mom looked like she was wearing a white sweatshirt with the hood pulled over her head. This did not look good, and seemed to confirm our suspicions that this terrible news was centered around her.
As they got out of the car, we could see that Mom was in fact wearing a beekeeping costume, and my dad was dressed as a bee!
What the?!
We were all confused as could be, but still secretly wishing that perhaps this ridiculousness was a sign that the news was not as bad as we feared and this was just “Dad being Dad.”
We all exchanged hugs and it seemed like my parents were in good spirits. I wanted to exhale, assured that my worst fears were just the by-product of an overactive imagination. I glanced at the uncertain smiles on the faces of my family members and hoped that we’d soon be pleasantly surprised with positive news that we never saw coming.
But those hopes faded as my Dad set up a makeshift podium in the living room and pulled out a homemade sign made on loose-leaf paper that he taped to the front. It read “Stuff Happens.” Below that was a smiley face next to a frowny face. The frowny face had an “x” through it. Any hope there was quickly evaporated from the room. It became hard to breathe. We all braced for the worst.
All eyes were fixed on my Dad, who started things off by telling us about tough challenges that we’ve faced over the years and reminded us of how we got through them as a family. On and on he went, testing the patience of his children and his wife, who was sitting in a chair on the opposite side of the room.
Finally, this man, my father, the one dressed up like a bee, bravely told us that he had cancer.
At first, my heart plummeted into my stomach. But as he explained the kind of cancer he had (prostate), and shared that they had caught it so early, and told us how high the survival rate was, hope slowly returned. He said that he and Mom had resolved to be positive and optimistic, which is why they decided to lighten the mood by coming dressed in the Halloween costumes they had worn at a party the night before. “We hoped it would take a little of the sting out of the news we had to share,” he quipped.
We eventually learned that my parents had worn the costumes for the entire two-hour drive up to Wisconsin, a trip that included a stop to pump gas as well as a run through the Burger King drive-thru.
As the mood lightened and we followed my parents’ optimistic lead, all I could think about was, “I bet no one in the history of the world has ever told his family that he had cancer while wearing a bee costume.”
But that’s exactly what my Dad did.
In the meantime, my Dad is being taken care of by the amazing people at the Cancer Treatment Center of America. Amazingly, their spirit of optimism seems to match my Dad’s. Subsequent tests have shown that the cancer has not spread to any other areas, and treatment plans are being discussed. The prognosis is still very good.
I feel enormously blessed. Not only because the news is nowhere near as bad as I’d feared, but mostly because of the positive attitude shared by my parents. It is a lesson we all can learn from, and a model I hope to emulate. In the long run, I know this will only make our family stronger.
How can I be so sure?
A little bee told me.
Sending good thoughts to you and your family in this. I see where you get your positive attitude from, that’s for sure. I especially like that they stopped at Burger King in their costumes.
My husband is a urologist, and everything I’ve heard (which is a lot) says that it is very, very treatable. Glad that your dad is in good hands!
What a beautiful story. Even though cancer is no laughing matter, your Dad (with your Mum’s support) gave you all a gift … told you the honest facts AND lead by example in the way they wish to face it … as a family, with courage, faith and optimism. I’d like to pray for you all today, and thank the Lord that you shared this experience with your readers.
Keeping your brave family in my prayers, Jason.
And thank you for the image of your parents visiting Burger King in their costumes. Bet they got some amused looks! :)
What a cool dad. I will say a prayer for him & you & your family. I hope the bzzing is lots of good news.
That’s awesome! Well, the optimism part, not the cancer part. I will bee praying for you guys. Keep us posted!
Jason –
Keeping your Dad and your family in my prayers! Medicine is amazing these days – I know your Dad will have great treatment – this can be overcome! : )
Beautifully shared as always, and thinking the apple does not fall far from the tree! Thank you for sharing the blessings of your family, and please know that we’ll pray for all of you.
Oh Jason. How could I expect anything less from your family. Living such important values. Know that the northern Wisconsin branch of the team is in your dad’s corner. Love you guys.
Jason and entire family,
I am a nurse and was sitting on the edge of my chair thinking the same things and waiting for you to fill in the blanks “What kind”- prostate (common in men his age and very treatable), “how far along is it?”-caught it early (best information in the whole blurb), “how is his attitude?”- realistic yet hopeful and lighthearted (laughter truly IS the best medicine).
Keep your positive attitude and family cohesiveness and know that many are thinking of you and keeping you in our prayers. Keep smiling and supporting each other as you “bear your cross”. You have touched many lives and now those folks are all in your corner to help you face this rough time. GOD BLESS…
Thanks for sharing something so personal and hopeful with us Jason. More people with your mom and dad’s attitude will make the world a better place! Glad he passed it on to you.
Thank you for sharing this. I am going through something very similar. My Mom is going through testing right now. She also has an amazing attitude and is one of the strongest people I know. It was an honor to meet your parents at the Summit. I love this post.
As I grow older it always fascinates me to see my relationship with my parents change and grow. Two people who I still look up too now having conversations with me that expose the future support they will need from me.
When I think of all they accomplished by the time they were my age, wow I have a ways to go. But their honesty with me also shows me they are not perfect and doing the best job they can just like me. Which makes them even cooler.
Thanks.
Whoa. How scary and yet hopeful at the same time. Our prayers are with you.
~~~Lynn and kiddos
Our prayers are with you all. Praying your Dad’s cancer is healed quickly and that the treatment he will require is minimum. You have two amazing parents. Give them a big hug (ha! I initially typed “bug hug”) from us!!
Sending prayers to your Dad and your family. It’s never easy to hear the news of someone you love having cancer, Positive attitude is the most important thing to have during a time like this. My Mom has been diagnosed with cancer for the second time this year, I have been there for every doctor appointment and having them say stage 4 and yet my Mom has the most positive attitude about it. She is a caregiver for my Dad with Alzheimer’s while battling cancer and yet she is positive, happy and has the most patience that I have ever seen in a person. Having that positive attitude that you are going beat cancer is very important. We will keep your Dad in our prayers.
Kim and Jason:
Your parent’s positive attitudes will help all of you through this journey. I can relate to every emotion and feeling that you are experiencing. Cherish every day and live your life with no regrets. You can’t make up for lost moments in the past but you can make the most of every opportunity you have to spend time with those you love. Make your parents proud!
Jill
Thank you for sharing this personal and uplifting story. Your genes are amazing, and you share with your own kids. Your Dad is in the best treatment center – all will be wonderful. Formerly working with cancer patients, I can tell you that a positive outlook is one of the best meds known to human – or bee. Bug hugs to your family!
Much blessing to you and your family. I meant to give these words to a friend in church yesterday but now I give them to you and your family. This helped our famiy when my husband got cancr.
Cancer is so limited…
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot carrode faith.
It cannot destroy peace.
It cannot kill friendships.
It cannot suppress memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot invade the soul.
It cannot steal eternal life.
IT CANNOT CONQUER THE SPIRIT.
God Bless!
Thank you so much for sharing! Three years ago we got the dreaded cancer news from my father as well so I can definitely relate. Your whole family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Please give your parents our best and know we’re praying for a full recovery.
What an awesome dad! Prayers for you and your family.
What a “bee”auitiful story. Your dad sounds like a fighter (and a winner!). In my toughest times, I recall 1 Peter 5:7,”Cast ALL your cares upon HIM, for He careth for YOU!”
God Bless your family! You are all such a blessing to each other….and to all of us who follow you. My husband was dx with prostate ca over 10 yrs ago and it was a real shock for our young family, but it was early, the treatment was effective and he has been fine since then, thank the Good Lord. We will pray for the very best outcome for your Dad and that your special gift of good humor and light heartedness will help you through….I’m sure it will.
My Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer around 13 years ago. He’s still doing fine (80 yrs old). The doctors told him that most men die WITH prostate cancer rather than FROM prostate cancer.
My thoughts & prayers are with you and your family Jason. What an incredible story of sharing a difficult message with the ones you love. I can clearly see where you get your sense of humor and optimism! Attitude is everything, and it sounds like your Dad has an incredible support system with such a loving family.
My prayers are with you and your family- and what an AMAZING family you have! Thank you for sharing this difficult and touching story AND pictures with us. You are showing all of us a new way to meet the difficulties of life: head on with only a positive spirit at your side!
Sometimes in life, the news is a stinger.
May your family continue to find the honey and may this experience bring you all closer together. CTCA is an awesome organization and your family is an awesome group of people. Hope the buzz will continue to be good news.
Not always easy to be so open and share the tough stuff. Also,what a great way your Dad made a tough announcement!
Thank you for including us.
God hath not promised skies always blue
Flower-strewn pathways all our live through.
God hath not promised sun without rain Joy without sorrow Peace without pan.
But God hath promised Strength for the day Rest for the labor light for the way;
Grace for the trials Help from above
Unfailing sympathy Undying love.
–Annie Johnson Flint
Sending good thoughts your way and hoping for a healthy recovery for your Dad!
Jason,
My prayers are with your Dad and your family. Thank you for sharing your story. Your dad and mom sound awesome! God bless!
I don’t know your parents, but I think I like them. You be very lucky to have them.
My dad was diagnosed with the same cancer 10 years ago and it too was caught early. The treatment took some of his physical strength but not his spiritual strength. He didn’t dress as a bee, although I am now picturing him doing so and it is quite bee-lievable (you didn’t really think such a post wouldn’t open itself up to puns, did you?)
Thank you for sharing. I add my own thoughts and prayers added to the others.
Wow! What attitudes. Bravo! Although we did not learn of my father in law’s brain tumor this way (indeed, it almost upset our long weekend to Boston where we planned loads of baseball and history-related activities for our 8 year old) he is showing great faith, a positive attitude (not quitting yet despite that fact that he is choosing to forego chemo and radiation) and is keeping his sense of humor through what may be last months with us.
All the best to your dad and family through this time of cancer, Jason! Will add him to my prayers!
This has given me real hope for telling my own children of my problem with Lupus. Thanks for the help. I was just goin to sit on this and wait, but I see now I owe my children more than that.
Hi Jason:
I’m very sorry to learn about this. There is no easy way to handle that kind of diagnosis, but it sounds like your dad and mom have great attitudes. Sending prayers and positive energy to your dad.
Clearly no other way to “bee” for your dad. Here’s to a full recovery, filled with lots of sweets and treats, and no tricks.
Hugs and smiles!
Now did you get your positive attitude from your Dad or have you rubbed off on your Dad and he now fights adultism too? I bet you got it from him!!
If there is a cancer to have prostrate is the most curable…..I have 5 survivor friends of this cancer of all ages!!! Hang in there with each other, do what the doctor says and be kind to yourself and each other, Last but not least have a pajama run when he least expects it!!!!!!! Prayerfully, Patty
i know how wonderful both of your parents are. there lighthearted attitude will be just what it takes to look cancer in the eye and beat it down. i will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers. thank you for sharing a great story with us!
A story to live by when the going gets though. Thanks for sharing. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. BEE POSITIVE!
Hi Kim & Jason. Thinking about you and your family. You guys are in our prayers.
Kim & Jason,
All of my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
I will pray for a full recovery for your Dad.
Hugs of comfort and support.
Great blog Jason!
You did forget to mention the fact that your brother Dan was recently hired at CTCA (a job he wasn’t even looking for) just four months prior to the diagnosis. A true blessing indeed!
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. This is an enlightening view .
How touching that you shared this. I saw you give a talk years ago in GA and your positive attitude gave me hope for this world. Now I understand where you got it from! I watched a loved one fight cancer and the way she conducted herself was such an unexpected gift to me–inspirational, motivating, life-affirming. God bless you, your parents, and all the inspirational people in this world.
I linked to your page from mine. I hope your post helps at least one person find their way to a life filled with “less stress, more fun”!
This is father bee. I am honored and humbled by Jason’s post and all of the kind words and prayers from the fans of Kim and Jason Nation. I am the operations manager of Maze Lumber in Peru, Il. and a Realtor for Janko Realty. I talk to a lot of people every day. What keeps me positive? I’ve got it made. In the last 2 weeks I have talked to a contractor that lost his wife, a contractor that has a family member fighting an addition, several people with serious marital problems and many with loved ones with very serious cancer. Sometimes when someone comes into the lumberyard and seems to be cranky I try to cut them some slake. You have no idea what heavy burdens they are carrying around. So I will have an excellent surgeon working on me at an excellent hospital (CTCA) which happens to be the employer of son #2, Dan that will keep a watchful eye on me. I like my odds. I have a great family. Life IS good! That’s the way I look at things.
\O/ Thank you for sharing! I’ll BEE praying! \O/
Jason, this is so like your dad. Such a great guy! He always has a positive outlook on everything. My prayers are with all of you at this time of uncertainty. I am sure all will go well for him. How can they not, when he is focusing on the positive side of it. Take care!
Wow, amazing story! Your dad truly is a one of a kind! (Love the optimism!) We were faced with this with my Dad in January so we can completely relate. Happily, they removed all the cancer and he’s cancer-free and loving life. Prayers for your family.
My beautiful Mom gave me a card with this message. I keep it tucked in my Bible…. After I read your post about your dear Mom and sweet bumblebee Dad, I turned to my bible to find something, and the card fell out. So…. I think I need to share this message with you….
Always remember when God made you He did so with a purpose and a plan. He saw all your days before you lived one of them and placed over you the covering of His protective love. God has allowed nothing into your life that has not first been screened though that love. His hand has remained upon you to this very day. He calls you by name. You are His beloved child… The apple of His eye… The delight of His heart. Today you are in the exact place He wants you to be, and tomorrow He will be with you as He has always been— in goodness, in kindness, in faithfulness.
Will keep you in my prayers Jason and Kim….
Much love. jacki
Jason, thank you for this beautiful blog entry! It is easy to see where you get your positive, optimistic attitude towards life. Your post made me laugh out loud and put tears in my eyes. Know we’ll be praying for your Dad during his healing journey!
Love,
Katie, Mike, et al
Jason,
Thank you for sharing your personal story with all of us, your “other family”! I always look forward to your emails and I start to smile before I even open it, knowing that your positive attitude toward everything life dishes out is the way that we can all learn from. I hope that I can pass on to my children and grandchildren the lessons that your parents have instilled in you. Your Dad will come through this stronger than ever before. He’s got a lot more living, loving, and laughing to do! God bless you!