Rules That Don’t Exist

We are constantly bombarded with rules that don’t exist. This collection of “rules” comes from everywhere: parents, grandparents, politicians, first grade teachers, old dead white guys, and young celebrity trendsetters. We follow them (often subconsciously) for reasons that range from irrelevant to superstitious to downright stupid. Sadly, they often limit us from living better stories. Below are some we’ve identified so far. Did we miss one?

- - - | written by Jason on 5/28/2023 | - - -

A Lie Detector for Identifying Rules That Don’t Exist

Everyone had a plain sugar cookie on a plate in front of them. Each table was stocked with white frosting, food coloring, and an array of cool sprinkles in various shapes and colors. I gave them one instruction: Decorate your cookie as ugly as possible. And just to make it clear, I added, "Your goal is to make Martha Stewart weep!" This was during a presentation for a group in Ohio after I had shared my almost famous Ugly Cookie story. We had the luxury of time, and the meeting planners were up for doing one of my favorite group activities. It's funny how one simple objective – …

- - - | written by Jason on 3/12/2023 | - - -

The Opposite of the Right Way Isn’t Always Wrong

Rules that don't exist could be regarded as lies, because sometimes they are. Thou shalt hate Monday.Thou shalt wait thirty minutes to swim after eating.Thou shalt not celebrate without thine calendar's permission. Lies, all lies. In the art world there is a rule that states, "Thou shalt stick to one style." In order to find success as an artist, the thinking goes, you should stick to one identifiable visual style. That's because you can get more traction, more quickly, if it's easier for people to remember you and recognize your work. As a rule, it's true. But just because a …

- - - | written by Jason on 5/30/2021 | - - -

Now for the Fun Part: An Open Letter to Grads

Hello, graduate. Congratulations on your accomplishments and a job well done!Now for the fun part.You’ve made it this far by following directions, filling in little circles, asking for permission, standing in line, and raising your hand before speaking up. The instructions have been clear: do this (take these classes, write this paper, complete this assignment) and get this (pass the course, earn a recommendation, receive a degree.) You got to this point by following the rules. Now that you’ve graduated, it’s time to start breaking some. Make no mistake, the work is …

- - - | written by Jason on 4/11/2021 | - - -

Thou Shalt Not Bring Bananas on Thy Fishing Boat

The most unusual "rule" I’ve ever heard came from a lady in Fairbanks, Alaska. I’d asked for examples of rules that don’t exist, and this woman stood up and matter-of-factly declared, “How about the one where you can’t bring bananas with you on the fishing boat!” Her delivery was as if she’d just told us that glaciers are cold and made of ice. The blank, quizzical looks of the other attendees gave way to a roomful of raucous laughter. Unfazed, she assured us, “But I tried it and it’s totally fine.” Now, hearing about this crippling restriction for the first time and then …

- - - | written by Jason on 1/27/2019 | - - -

Hippoposterous!

"Hippoposterous" by Jason Kotecki. 20" x 20". Oil on canvas. Original is SOLD. Prints available here. This is a tiny hippo in a bowl of Froot Loops. Or is it a normal-sized hippo in a giant bowl of Froot Loops? I don’t remember. Either way, it’s preposterous. Most serious people don’t have time for the preposterous. They have much more important things to concern themselves with. Of course, there’s a good chance that these people are also riddled with Adultitis, make terrible leaders, and will never change the world. Consider the smartphone. It is a device on which you can look …

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- - - | written by Jason on 6/17/2018 | - - -

The Best Policy is the One You Make Up After You Read This

If you’ve been following along for a while here, you know that I am a big proponent of breaking rules (particularly the ones that don’t exist.) What might surprise you is that I am equally cool with creating them, too, as long as you’re clear on the reason. I want to share with you one of the most liberating concepts I’ve come across, and believe it or not, it involves making and abiding by strict rules. It’s the idea of creating personal policies. You're well aware of how big companies devise all kinds of policies to protect their interests. You’ve heard it dozens of times: “I’m …

- - - | written by Jason on 4/22/2018 | - - -

Something New to Try in the Bedroom

"Fork & Spoon" by Jason Kotecki. Prints available here. I’ve been married for almost 18 years. Every single night that I’m at home, I sleep on the right side of the bed. Why? How did that come about? I don’t ever remember having a discussion about it with Kim, and yet, here we are; our assigned spots have not changed since the day we got hitched. Weird. Why do we do any of the things we do? The little habits that make up our days, where did they come from? Which way do you take to work? How do you typically run your meetings? On-board new employees? Welcome new customers? Deal …

- - - | written by Jason on 3/4/2018 | - - -

Lessons in Adultitis Fighting from the Revolutionary War

"War Games" by Jason Kotecki. Digital. Prints and canvas reproductions available here. I was thinking about the American Revolutionary War the other day (because I like keeping up on current events), and a few things struck me. I imagine it would have been easy for the American colonists to look at all the advantages held by the British and wallow in the land of “Must Be Nice”... They have the most powerful navy in the whole world...must be nice. They have way more professionally trained soldiers than we do...must be nice. They have a ton of money to buy food, supplies, and …

- - - | written by a Guest Star on 12/3/2017 | - - -

Whoop There He Is

[ This is a guest post about some rules that don't exist from our good friend and professional speaker, Laurie Guest. ] Kim and Jason have coined a phrase that speaks directly to my heart. The phrase is #notarule, and it challenges adults to look for ways to fight Adultitis, a disease that causes stress and decreases fun. Jason wrote a book called Penguins Can’t Fly +39 Other Rules That Don’t Exist. He invited others to submit suggestions for #notarule, and I had been on the lookout for a good example. I wanted to be included in the book, but unfortunately, I never found a worthy …

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- - - | written by Jason on 8/27/2017 | - - -

Too Old? Think Again.

Keith Davison lost his wife Evy to cancer after a marriage of 66 years. He admitted that he cried a lot. And the peace and quiet eventually became too overbearing. So get this: The 94-year-old installed an in-ground pool in his backyard. With a diving board. And invited the neighborhood kids to jump in. Now his home is bustling with activity as his newly adopted “grandkids” bring life and laughter into it. He admits it didn’t make economic sense to install the pool. But who can put a price tag on joy? Ninety-four-year-olds shalt not install a pool in thy backyard. #notarule If you’re …