Are too many of your moments half-lived?
As a dad, I often find myself fighting the battle between enjoying a moment with Lucy and capturing it on film. One truth that I think slips by most dads and grandpas is this: As nice as it is to record memories to look back on later, photographing a moment is not the same as experiencing it.
While in upstate New York for a speaking engagement, we made some time to visit the Strong National Museum of Play in Rochester. Kim and I had been there before, but this was our first time with Lucy. She enjoyed it — as much as a one-year-old can enjoy anything, I suppose. The museum has a pretty neat butterfly exhibit that we wanted to show Lucy. Knowing how cool it would be, I was armed with a camera and video camera locked and loaded. I didn’t want to miss any adorable moments for the “Lucy Archive.“
As we ambled along the path and butterflies flitted about, I got some great footage. But a still, small voice whispered an observation in my ear: ”It’s not as gratifying seeing these butterflies through a viewfinder.”
“Maybe not,” I answered back, “But I have a job to do here and this is a sacrifice I have to make.”
Moments later, a giant butterfly glided from behind a leafy green plant and came in for a landing.
Right. On. My. Head.
It didn’t seem interested in budging. Kim snapped some photos, and fellow butterfly tourists laughed and pointed at the dude with the butterfly on his head. It was quite a moment.
I’m not sure it ever intended on moving, but eventually I asked the tour guide to help it find another place to sit, because his tiny butterfly feet were making my forehead itchy.
It didn’t occur to me that perhaps this was a sign from the butterfly kingdom, or maybe from somewhere even higher up the ladder. The message was simple and to the point:
Notice me.
I wish I could say I got the message. I wish I could say I put the camera down and just marveled at the brilliant colors splashed across the fragile butterfly wings. I wish I had spent more time gazing on the face of my little girl, awash with a mix of curiosity and wonder. I wasn’t completely oblivious to the experience, but I wasn’t fully present, that’s for sure. I didn’t spend enough time just enjoying the moment.
Granted, I have some neat photos and cute video, but most of my memories associated with them will be about fumbling with the cameras trying to get the perfect shot and watching butterflies though a viewfinder. My experience wasn’t as rich as it could have been.
It was a half-lived moment.
Too bad.
It’s not like the butterflies didn’t do their part to warn me.
P.S. Here’s a video of highlights from our last trip to the museum, in the year 2 BL (Before Lucy):
I am not taking as many photos as I used to, and I’ll probably regret that to a degree, but I find that I don’t like having (I have a SLR) big camera hanging off my neck all day, and I’d rather be in the moment than just capturing it. Thanks for the reminder to live life to the fullest!
Libby, fortunately, they’re making cameras smaller and smaller and cheaper and cheaper (and of course, building them into cell phones). The quality is not as good as a SLR, but at least it allows you to dive into the fun but still have the possibility of snapping a pic should something amazing happen :)
Hi Kim and Jason!
I’m doing a blog series – Public Safety Alerts on our Food – based on a year’s worth of research – it’s frightening, but we so need to get educated and stop poisoning our children, and ourselves! Please stop by and see if you can help me spread the word. Educated consumers are the only ones who can stop this madness! Read labels as if your life depends on it – it does!!!!
Thanks so much for any help!
suZen
Amen Jason! My mother in particular always seems to be prodding me to make sure I get pictures/take video of my son’s activities. And I just nod and say something like “yeah, I’ll have to remember to do that…”
At times I feel a little guilty with how I’ll forget or neglect to capture pics for later viewing. But then, I really enjoy being involved in everything that is going on. Definitely more than just having a bunch of pics of other people doing so. And in the end, I still have plenty o’ pics of him being his goofy self anyway… ;)
Good for you Sean! Yeah, I have a ton of pics of Lucy as well. It’s interesting how having an iPhone has allowed me to take more pictures of Lucy in one year than my parents took of me in my entire life, because of the convenience and not having to pay for developing the film. And yet, it’s still easy to get caught up in feeling like I somehow have not taken enough…
Hi there
I have lived in Rochester all my life and have never been to the Strong Museum (I’ll be 41 this year). I went to the butterfly conservatory in Niagara Falls … it was AMAZING. I also had a butterfly land on me … not on my face though. I too was trying to capture it on film, but failed. I do have the image infused in my brain for all time.
I am always amazed at the beauty that God gives us every day. We just got a boatload of snow this past weekend, and it was breathtaking. I mean this absolutely literally. When I took the dog out on Saturday morning, the beauty that was in front of me and all around me took my breath away! I think sometimes we just need to stop and look around us and appreciate the little things that God gives us every day!
God bless you
It never ceases to amaze me how often people don’t take advantage of the cool stuff that right in their own back yard — and I’m just as guilty! Promise me that you’ll make time to go — even if you don’t have a kid in tow (Kim and I didn’t the first time we went). You’ll love it! (Just don’t go on President’s Day when all the kids are off of school like we did — it was a madhouse! Fun nonetheless, but a little overwhelming.)
Hi Jason:
You’ve touched on something I’ve felt for a long time. Back when I was in college, my buddy used to sneak his DAT recorder into concerts that we went to. Man, he spent half his time worrying about whether he was going to get caught or about the volume levels that I wonder if he really enjoyed the concerts. And, while I don’t have kids yet, I’ve thought about the exact situation you’re in with Lucy. I wonder about capturing every moment on video that I never get to fully experience it. I will say this…the fact that you are even aware of how you are experiencing the event tells me you are likely more present than you think. BTW, great shot with the butterfly on your head– maybe you need to change that shot for your avitar. Just a thought ;)
Thanks for the vote of confidence, Tim. Good story about your buddy from college. I think we all know a few people like that, regardless of the event/memory being recorded. I will say this: having photos of Lucy to look back on does an excellent job of reminding me how fast time flies and how important it is to enjoy every moment. But this exercise can be accomplished with somewhere less than a million photos…
Well said! Couldn’t agree more. We try to avoid this by taking turns with the camera, but it’s still an easy trap. A lot of times I also see parents ruining the moment for the kids because they make them stop and “say cheese” or “look over here” again and again!
By the way, if you are ever in Connecticut you should stop by “Kid City” in Middletown.
I have found that the “say cheese” pictures are never as good as the ones that catch them unaware, in a moment where they are engaged in what they’re doing.
Amazingly, I have not yet been to Connecticut, but I will definitely check out Kid City if I get the chance.