Escape Adulthood

Live with Less Stress & More Fun

Archives for February 2017

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Kim Stanfill-McMillan, February 2017 Adultitis Fighter of the Month

An Adultitis Fighter is someone who rallies against rules that don't exist and engages in ruthless, senseless acts of silliness that undermine Adultitis and its unadventurous version of adulthood. Once a month, we shine a light upon the most remarkable among us, holding them up as a dazzling example of what we should strive for in this epic battle against a formidable enemy. Kim Stanfill-McMillan is our February honoree because she is a Queen of Intentionality. She stayed in touch with her inner child, ultimately living out her childhood declaration of being a potter. When she was 14 years old, she looked at the adults around her and realized that she didn’t want to live that way. She made a conscious decision to stay young at heart. She recalls this moment with a fond perspective. Kim has also intentionally simplified her life (such as minimizing stuff and financial commitments) that allow her the freedom to live on less, and giving her more time and money for …

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The Hidden Treasure in Hard Work

We recently spent two weeks in Florida and the best lesson I learned came from a pirate. Or at least a dude dressed up like one. We encountered "Captain Jack" at Pier 60 on Clearwater Beach. We thought it would be fun to stop for a photo. It was a windy night and the crowd was light, so he spent quite a bit of time with us, engaging with the kids and regaling them with advice. "What's yer name, princess?" he asked my oldest. "Lucy," she replied. "How old er ya?" "Eight." "Lucy, I'm gonna tell ya something. Don't be like those 'messarounds' in school, the ones who dern't pay attention and dern't study. "Ya got sixteen years of school, which seems like a long time, but it's really not. If ya study hard and git smart, I'll predict ye'll be captain by forty-one. Ya know, of the police department. 'Cause yer have ta be smart ter become captain - they won't hire the messarounds. Then maybe ye'll retire when yer fifty-five. By the time yer seventy-five, you've been …

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Saying Yes to Piggy Back Rides

One of Adultitis’ best tricks — and the one that trips me up the most — is getting us to believe that the most important things in life are merely distractions. My youngest daughter routinely asks me for piggy back rides. Most of the time I say yes. But sometimes I'm tired, or want to keep reading the book I just opened five seconds ago. And sometimes I’m too focused on the latest pet project that I'm convinced will deliver a windfall of profit and impact. The justification for brushing off this minor “distraction” of my daughter pestering me for a piggy back ride is that, in the end, this effort will bear fruit that will benefit us all. If I’m not careful, this so-called “drive” rockets me right by the stuff that really matters. Don’t get me wrong. Piggy back rides don’t pay the bills. Little worthwhile is accomplished without focus, hard work, and sacrifice. The challenge is how easy it is for this to become our default mode. Like a Ferrari flying down the highway, all …

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Celebrate Your Way to a Better Relationship

Isn’t it strange how when you’ve just fallen in love, the object of your affection's weird idiosyncrasies seem cute? And then, after twenty years of marriage, the way their nose twitches when they tell a funny story, the unusual way they cut their steak, or the specific way they order at a fast food drive-up window, makes you want to wallop them with a rolling pin? Happy Valentine’s Day to you, too. ;) Interestingly, studies show that divorce isn’t usually caused by an increase in problems. It’s often caused by a decrease in positive feelings. Shelly Gable, professor of psychology at the University of California at Santa Barbara, has demonstrated that how you celebrate is more predictive of strong relations than how you fight. In the early stages of a relationship, celebrations are abundant and all the feels are good. You measure anniversaries in weeks and months, cheer each other on, and rejoice over the smallest of milestones. All of these things work to overshadow the …

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Beware the Diminishing Returns of Chasing Success

Once you achieve a certain amount of success, it's easy to ruin it by chasing more. Especially when you start singing someone else's song. I have a speaker friend who, by his own admission, has a great life. He has more speaking requests than he can handle, has clients all over the world, and makes a very good living. He has an incredible amount of freedom in his day. Plus, he’s a happy newlywed. But he’s been talking about doing something about all the gigs he’s had to turn away. After all, he’s leaving money on the table, right? So there are plans to create a training program for other speakers so they can deliver his material. He’s considering hiring more staff to help facilitate the program and manage the extra business. Only one problem. I’m not sure he’s asked the question, “Do I want to spend an increasing amount of time managing people?” Because that’s a different business than the one he’s in right now, and his typical day will change dramatically. Now …

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