I have an odd experiment I’d love to try someday.
I thought of it during a family visit to the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago, after going through a number of exhibits in a row in which the animals were either hidden or off exhibit. (It’s hard to tell if the jaguar is sleeping in a corner out of view or at the vet for a check-up.) After a few minutes of fruitless searching, we just shrug our shoulders and head to the next one.
So I thought it would be interesting to remove all the animals from every exhibit at a particular zoo. How long would it take for the average visitor to realize that the zoo was empty? Pretty long, is my guess. And I suspect that if you allowed a few birds to fly around freely, you’d trick people into going longer before realizing there was not one animal on display.
My family loves zoos, and we’ve been to a lot of them. (We even went to a few on a book tour!) I have discovered that there are two Zoo Truths you can count on:
Truth #1: At least one of the animals you were looking forward to seeing will be off-exhibit or out of view. A bust. Of course, animals are animals. They are unpredictable. They can’t be made to always be “on.” The question is, will you let your disappointment ruin your day?
Truth #2: There will also be at least one animal you’ll get an unexpectedly great experience with. Maybe one you never noticed before, or an up-close encounter with an animal you’ve previously overlooked. If you’re not too busy sulking after Truth #1 materializes, I guarantee you something magical will happen.
As I said, my family has been to a lot of zoos and has found these two Zoo Truths to be remarkably consistent. At the Lincoln Park Zoo, the giraffes were a bust and the red panda was MIA. (Maybe she was on a sabbatical?) But we saw snow leopards super close and the young gorillas goofing off were an absolute hoot. Because we are well aware of the Truths, the disappointments were taken in stride and we were able to savor the magic that was served up to us.
Why don’t we have the same perspective on life?
Like animals, life is unpredictable. It doesn’t always go as planned. Why are we so surprised when things go sideways?
Sometimes we become overly invested in having things go a certain way and we get derailed when they don’t. Maybe you thought you’d have found Mr. Right by now. Maybe you expected your career path to be a little less wonky. Maybe your big dream is taking its sweet old time.
The thing we were hoping for might just be temporarily hidden. It might even be off the table for good.
Not every dream comes true.
That’s Truth #1. But don’t forget about Truth #2.
If we limit the time we spend sulking, and we keep our heads up and our eyes open, we might notice something we didn’t expect. Something wonderful and magical and equally awesome. (Or dare I say…better?)
Alas, none of this is possible unless we practice non-attachment from outcomes and open ourselves to surprises that come out of uncertainty. Kids are natural at this because they don’t have enough life perspective to know what to expect. Everything is new, so they more often experience surprise and delight than adults.
We can experience it, too; we just need to be more mindful about it.
I’ve found, at zoos and in life, that reminding myself that some things won’t turn out as I’d hoped, but there will be other cool surprises I never could’ve predicted, serves as a powerful reframe that makes a big difference.
You might miss the giraffe you came to see, but maybe the baby gorilla will be worth the price of admission.