Escape Adulthood

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“Go Big or Go Home” is a Dumb Way of Doing Things

I was speaking in Reno about one of the most controversial "rules" I wrote about in Penguins Can’t Fly, which is “Thou shalt not swap sides of the bed.” Just the mention of it can give people who have been in long-term relationships the heebie-jeebies. Shortly thereafter, an attendee named Laura emailed me to tell me she had tried it with her husband. “He was hilarious,” she wrote, “and he did not like it at all. We were laughing so hard through the whole thing!” That same day, I got a note from Jeff, who heard me speak in New Orleans the week before. He reported that my talk really hit home, especially the idea of tinkering. He said, “I fall into the trap of telling my daughter how to do things far too often, rather than letting her tinker and figure out the way that works best for her. Thank you for helping me to take a step back and let people around me figure things out on their own.” These are my favorite kind of emails to get. On the surface, they don’t appear to be …

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Why You Shouldn’t Accept That Promotion

What idiot says no to a raise? Chip Gaines, co-star of the hit TV show Fixer Upper, writes this about his dad in the book Capital Gaines: "When I lived at home, he was willing to forego promotions and advancements at work just to have more time to throw a baseball with me in the evenings. He was teaching me the game, but on another level, he was showing me how to be a man and a father. He taught me the value of investing in one’s family above anything else.” We almost always consider promotions and advancements at work to be the best thing for ourselves and our families. And they might very well be. But more impressive titles, bigger paychecks, and better offices are also good for our pride. Sometimes a promotion serves no one but ourself. Look, struggling to make ends meet is never fun. Growing into an opportunity that gives us some financial breathing room and provides our family more options can be a real blessing. But we should never lose sight of the fact that the …

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Lessons in Adultitis Fighting from the Revolutionary War

"War Games" by Jason Kotecki. Digital. Prints and canvas reproductions available here. I was thinking about the American Revolutionary War the other day (because I like keeping up on current events), and a few things struck me. I imagine it would have been easy for the American colonists to look at all the advantages held by the British and wallow in the land of “Must Be Nice”... They have the most powerful navy in the whole world...must be nice. They have way more professionally trained soldiers than we do...must be nice. They have a ton of money to buy food, supplies, and mercenaries for hire...must be nice. They have sweet red road uniforms...must be nice. It’s easy to lament the advantages other people enjoy and languish in envy and disappointment. This only serves to assure defeat. The truth is, everyone has a must be nice (probably several), and we are better served spending our time figuring out what they are and using them to our full advantage. …

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The Magic Question That Will Make You The Most Innovative Person You Know

The world is changing at an ever-increasing pace. Meanwhile, most of us are being asked to do more with less. The answer to a prosperous and glorious future, it seems, is innovation. That’s all well and good, except for the fact that innovation is often regarded as one step away from sorcery. It is reserved for the super smart, super creative, or super inhabitants of Silicon Valley. Hogwash. You can be more innovative, right now, today. (I don't care if you are reading this in your pajamas or your hair looks like it just took on a tornado.) The dictionary tells us that innovation is merely the introduction of a new and better method, idea or thing. That's it. So yeah, the iPhone was a pretty ginormous innovation. But you know what else was? The person who came up with the idea to put tennis balls on walkers. Apparently they add value somehow, because every walker I've ever seen has one on each leg. Contrary to popular belief, innovation can be easy, but only if you …

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Purple People

If you are reading this, you are in an amazing company of people. Seriously. I hope that you get value out of these weekly messages from me, but there is so much inspiration to be found within this merry band of Adultitis Fighters! Of course we highlight some of them with our Adultitis Fighter of the Month award, but that’s just scratching the surface. A few weeks ago, I wrote about purple goats. Maybe you had to be there, but you can read that post here. The idea was about how we can make a big difference in our families and workplaces by making a conscious decision to stand out. I challenged everyone to be a little more “purple,” and share the results. Here are some of my favorite examples: Melissa Webster has only been working for her company for a few months, but in her role of sending internal communications, she is already gaining a reputation for having emails worth reading for their light-hearted entertainment value alone. She gives out virtual high fives, apology poems …

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The Post-It Noted Desk

Once upon a time, a woman named Janie went to a professional development conference for her job. After being out of the office for several days, she returned to work to find her desk had been vandalized. More specifically, it was aggressively "post-it noted" by two "fun, funny, and amazing co-workers." (Her words.) She reported, "It was so great to see and read what they wrote, I felt this lift like you can't imagine." In a related story, Adultitis was heard nearby weeping silently in a restroom stall. It's no secret that the workplace is one of Adultitis' favorite breeding grounds. But it doesn't have to be. Everyone goes on vacation. Or gets sick once in a while. Why couldn't you have everyone in the office write one thing they admire about that person on a post-it note while they are away? How much time would that require? How much money would you have to allocate in the budget for this? What sort of impact do you think that would make? In case you're …

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Purple Goats

One my favorite books is "Purple Cow" by Seth Godin. Sounds a little like a children's book, but the premise of this marketing classic is that brown cows are not very interesting. Purple cows, on the other hand, are remarkable. They get people talking. Godin suggests that in order to stand out in business, you need to become a "purple cow." I saw this in action during a recent vacation in Door County, Wisconsin. We were at the famous Al Johnson's restaurant, where they have goats hanging out on the grass-covered roof. We happened to be seated near a window where we could watch passersby looking at the goats. Almost everyone was taking pictures, their smiling faces lit with joy. I guarantee you that if the same group of goats were in a fenced-in paddock a half mile down the road, there would be no crowd, no cameras, no joy. But on the bright green roof of a restaurant on a busy street in the middle of town? Different story. Interesting, huh? By the way, the food is also …

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One Way To Keep Your Team Energized During Football Season

"Jump Around" by Jason Kotecki. Acrylic on canvas. Original available here. This painting was inspired by a tradition that Badger fans have at University of Wisconsin football games. Between the third and fourth quarters, the song “Jump Around” is boomed through the loudspeakers and all of the red-clad fans do exactly that. It reminded me of those old electronic football games in which tiny plastic athletes buzzed around on an green metal field. Readers of a certain age will know exactly what I’m talking about, and this painting will bring back all sorts of memories. For the of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, well, I guess you had to be there. With football season now upon us, I am reminded of a cool idea the leader of an insurance agency shared with me at one of my speaking programs. During pigskin season, he allows his employees to wear jeans and the jersey of their favorite college or pro team. (He even buys the jersey as a welcome aboard present!) Then, if …

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A Practical Guide to Mixing Business and Pleasure

"Monkey Business" by Jason Kotecki. Oil on canvas. Original is sold. Prints available here. "He’s all business.” “Let’s get down to business.” “It’s not personal, it’s just business.” Business is usually regarded as serious stuff. Too bad, because it doesn’t have to be. Some people seem to think that when it comes to business, you can’t have fun and be successful at the same time. Which is the dumbest thing ever. Leaders who see the power in bringing fun to the workplace are smart enough to understand that having a little fun in no way diminishes the seriousness in which one takes his or her responsibility. The cool thing is that fun can be a competitive advantage. The old saw is true: People like doing business with people they like. If two real estate agents or financial advisors or home child care providors are equally proficient in what they do, but one is way more fun to work with, which one will make more money? The truth is, there is no reason you can't …

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What To Do When All The Leaders Stink

For the past seven years, I have had the privilege of doing a program on life balance with young leaders in the field of civil engineering. We talk a lot about the different demands that come from balancing an upwardly mobile career path with a family and other relationships. A lot of venting takes place about the "old guard” and how out of touch some of the senior parters are at some firms. It’s always a fascinating discussion that I enjoy facilitating. Leadership is an interesting thing. The leaders of your country, your boss, and those people on the school board might all very well be nincompoops. Not much you can do about that, I suppose. But instead of whining about your superiors and the people in charge, it might be more useful to think about the people looking up to you. I’m talking about your kids, your grandkids, as well as anyone you might be responsible for at work. What do they see in YOU? What kind of decisions do they see you making? What priorities do …

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