They say misery loves company. That must be the reason why grown-ups suffering from full-blown cases of Adultitis are working so hard to ruin Halloween for kids.
My three-year-old niece is going Trick or Treating as Darth Vader this year. (Yes, I did say niece.) She already has the next three years worth of costumes planned out. Next year, it’s Luke Skywalker, then Darth Maul, then…a bunny.
The other day on the radio, I heard the superintendent from the Madison School District mention that they don’t encourage schools to have costume parties. They don’t ban them; they just strongly discourage them. “Some cultures don’t look at dressing up in costumes the same way as others,” she said.
When Kim was teaching kindergarten, she ran into this issue every October. There was a very small contingency that wanted to do away with Halloween altogether, for fear that someone, somewhere would be offended. Now I don’t know about you, but any time I see a five-year-old dressed up like Spiderman with a bag full of Milk Duds and Milky Ways, my blood just boils.
Why have we lost our perspective? Why have we become so over-sensitive about everything? These days, political correctness might just be a fancy way for an Adultitis-stricken grown-up to say, “I’m angry, miserable, and afraid, and I hate seeing other people happy.”
Then I come across a USA Today article talking about companies that are coming out with more healthy alternatives to standard Halloween fare. Mini granola bars. Bat-shaped pretzels. Pre-sliced apples.
Pre-sliced apples?
“Halloween is a nutritional nightmare,” says Cynthia Lair, a nutritionist. “All the candy isn’t just non-nutritional, it can also create nutritional debts.”
Question: What in Sam Hill is a nutritional debt? Is George Bush aware of this? Call Congress into action immediately!
Says spokeswoman Wendy Davis, speaking on behalf of the apple growers group and Radio Disney about sliced apples in pre-sealed bags at 50 cents a pop: “About the same price as a Hershey Bar. But better for you.”
Of course, these companies are not marketing to the kids. No kid in his or her right mind would ever, EVER choose a pre-sealed bag of sliced apples — sliced apples? — over a Hershey bar. These companies are marketing to grown-ups, particularly the ones who have become so overcome with Adultitis that they are inadvertently (I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt) choking all of the fun out of childhood; specifically Halloween.
When I was a little shaver, my dad made us a snack every night. Usually it consisted of some combination of oranges, raisins, bananas, and yes, even sliced apples. But when Halloween rolled around, it was all about the sugar. We would binge on candy for days at a time (I’m sure creating a very sizable nutritional debt) and it was wonderful.
It was wonderful because it only happened once a year. Childhood obesity is a big problem these days, but it’s not because of Halloween. It’s because too many parents can’t say no to their kids, are too busy to prepare much else but fast food, and appease their children with chocolate and sugar.
In the eyes of children, Halloween is a national holiday. Dressing up like a ballerina (or Darth Vader) and eating some Hershey bars is not going to hurt anyone. Grown-ups, please, get some perspective, get some help for your Adultitis, and quit ruining everything.
I totally agree with you! As I was reading, I was thinking, “Absolutely! What’s wrong with some candy?!” Then I thought back to when I was single, probably 21, idealistic, and in my own apt. When Trick or Treat time rolled around, I had lots of beautiful apples for the kids! One little girl, in particular, stands out. She came up on the porch, and her mom was waiting on the sidewalk. I gave her the apple and she said, “I want some CANDY!!” Her mom was embarassed and was trying to quiet her down, but she persisted. Finally her mom said, “Just take it; your dad’ll eat it” and they headed out. That little one let me know what this holiday is all about for kids!! (Of course, once I had my own kids, I REALLY knew it was about the candy!!)
Forget about the kids! I always secretly hope we won’t get many trick or treaters so we can end up with all the candy!!
I always find it so funny when people who had lenient parents when they were little end up being like the KGB with their kids … no candy, no TV, strict curfews, etc. … cracks me up. I know several people like that.
Anyway … yay to all you said … you’re so right that we’ve become too sensitive to everything, and that the people with the worst cases of adultitis can ruin it for everybody by getting offended and worked up over the slightest things, like schools celebrating Halloween. Even though it’s been many years, I still think back to the Halloween parades at my son’s school as some of the most fun (and funny) times.
I think we can consider ourselves lucky that the PC brigade haven’t yet completely banned Hallowe’en, citing its celtic and pagan origins.
The bottom line, really, is that if you care about the quality of your kid’s childhood, let them eat sweets at Hallowe’en. If you don’t, you may be creating problems that are more serious than the occasional dentist trip and extra couple of centimetres gained around their waist.
I feel the same way you do. Once a year does not do the harm that a year of fast foods do. I still enjoy the Halloween party at school and so do the kids. It’s some of the parents that won’t let their kids be kids.
This is a great and oh-so-true posting! In my last job at a cubicle farm just one person (who was not happy) complained about having a “Christmas” party. There was no vote or anything, but of course it was changed to “Winter Festival”.
Adultitis in the the extreme! Lighten up everyone. Halloween is for fun. Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukah are all supposed to be about family and friends – not bickering over names. Let’s teach our kids and each other to be tolerant and find our similarities, not drag each other apart.
Thanks for a funny article – if nothing else it made me laugh!
It’s amazing how quick we are to bow to the whims of ONE PERSON because we’re so fearful about offending anyone. And sometimes it doesn’t even take one person to object, but just the fear that they MIGHT.
Ridiculous.
Thank you for your column! Speaking as an adult who still dresses up in costumes every chance I get, AND who knows that one sack of Halloween candy a year isn’t gonna kill anybody, I really dislike the “anti” attitude in many of the schools nowadays. Luckily my workplace hasn’t become PC yet and we do Halloween stuff, yay!
Once again you are right on Jason. As a teacher who is part of a school district with a severe case of Adultitis AND Assessmentitis, this year we can’t even have “Harvest” parties anywhere near October 31. That’s too bad in my opinion because this is the perfect year to have a party since the day is on a Friday and the kids can have their sugar hangovers at home for 2 days before coming back to school. Why not have a party the kids minds are definitely not on learning that day anyway! Happy Halloween to you and Kim!