Family Dinners: In Praise of Good Parenting

Lately, Kim and I have felt that we’ve spent a lot of time ranting on bad parenting. A lot of that is attributed to our mission. Although it largely involves helping grown-ups tap into their childlike spirit to create lives that are less stressful and more fun, we also want to help children have good childhoods to look back on. However, anything we will ever be able to accomplish in this arena absolutely pales in comparison to the impact individual parents have in the lives of their own children.

It’s easy to point out the negative (it’s been the bread and butter of the news media for a long time), but I am more than happy to point out a case for hope.

A recent ABC news story highlights a growing trend in this country, namely that parents are more active in the lives of their children, reading more to them and restricting TV more than 10 years earlier.

Every evening, Dan and Cheryl Weese and their three kids sit around the dinner table together and talk about their day. Television is no distraction: The family’s TV has been in the basement for six years.

“We don’t miss it,” says Weese, a Chicago architect. He and his wife, who also works, made a decision when their first son was born to “challenge ourselves to be more involved” with their kids. Ditching TV, eating breakfast and dinner together, and regularly reading to their 7-year-old son and 4-year-old twins are all part of that decision.

…With meals, he says, it didn’t come naturally to make everyone sit down together. “It was essentially a leap of faith. But now it’s become really enjoyable for everyone.”

Can I get an Amen and an Alleluia!

The article also reports that according to the 2004 U.S. Census, “Some 78 percent of children under 6 ate dinner every night with their parents, and 53 percent ate breakfast with their parents every day.” If all parents knew how important eating dinner together as a family was to their children — something that used to be an unquestioned element of family life in this country — I think we’d see a lot more people doing it. More than a decade’s worth of research by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University has consistently found that the more often kids eat dinner with their families, the less likely they are to smoke, drink or use drugs. Kids who frequently eat dinner with their families are also likelier to have better grades and confide in their parents.

The trends are encouraging. There are a lot of parents stepping up, trying to make sure that their kids will have good childhoods to look back on tomorrow, which in turn will only make the world a better place.

I am also very excited to share with you the concept of Family Day:

Family Day — A Day to Eat Dinner with Your Children™ is a national movement to remind parents that what their kids really want at the dinner table is THEM! Family Day encourages parents to frequently eat dinner with their kids and be involved in their children’s lives. The conversations that go hand-in-hand with dinner help parents learn more about their kids’ lives and helps them to better understand the challenges their kids face.

The next official Family Day (the first one was in 2001) is set for September 22, 2008. Obviously, for many families, it will be a simple acknowledgment of something that is already a treasured routine.

I wish you could hear my applause. Keep up the good work.

For those of you who struggle finding time to corral the troops for mealtime on a regular basis, I encourage you to try harder. Not only is it a pretty good way to escape the hustle and bustle of the outside world for a few moments each day, the benefits it provides your children are priceless.

How about you? Do you have regular family dinners?  Feel free to share your thoughts and favorite stories in the comments section.

[tags]good parenting, Family Day, family dinner, family life, National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse[/tags]