Escape Adulthood

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Archives for August 2016

The Ultimate Comeback for Haters, Compliments of My Grandma

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My grandmother made German cookies called lebkuchen, referred to her couch as a davenport, and hated when her grandkids wore their hats backwards. “Makes you look like hooligans,” she’d say. She was also famous for saying, "Raspberries to ya!” I’m pretty sure this witty comeback was a polite (yet colorful) alternative to saying “screw you." So that’s where this art came from, painted on the top of a grocery store flyer. At first glance, it appears to be a negative departure from my more optimistic work. But it’s only really negative in a certain context. There comes a point in our lives where rolling with the punches doesn’t cut it. Sometimes you need to punch back. Not always in a literal sense, of course, but in a way that shows the world the strength that lies within you and that you're not backing down. To all of the setbacks you’ve experienced on this long road: Raspberries to ya. To that mountain of debt that's enslaved you long enough: Raspberries to ya. To …

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Ron England, August 2016 Adultitis Fighter of the Month

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An Adultitis Fighter is someone who rallies against rules that don't exist and engages in ruthless, senseless acts of silliness that undermine Adultitis and its unadventurous version of adulthood. Once a month, we shine a light upon the most remarkable among us, holding them up as a dazzling example of what we should strive for in this epic battle against a formidable enemy. When we approached Ron England about receiving this award, he was humble. He said, "I must say that I don't measure up to your past Adultitis Fighters of the month! Wow, I have much to learn from those folks!" But here's the thing: There is a lot we can learn from Ron - especially fathers. One of the most common traps Adultitis sets for dads is to keep them focused on the busy, urgent, noisy things in life, while the most important things pass right under their noses. Although Ron is a fun, all-around Adultitis-fighting dude, we are especially impressed with the way he "invests" in his daughters, as he puts …

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For Those Who’ve Ever Complained That This Is Taking Too Long

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One time Kim and I spent a couple hundred dollars on a two-day craft show. That was a big chunk of change for us at the time -- about two months worth of groceries. We were next to a booth where a guy was selling knockoff Garfield tchotchkes. Meanwhile, we moved a grand total of $7.92 worth of greeting cards. It was rough. Then we drowned our sorrows in sirlon steaks at Outback, which made our negative profit margin even worse. I have a lot of stories like that from the early days. Happy times. Sometimes I feel like this hippo. Barely off the ground, just trying to get some lift, with very little progress to show for a heck of a lot of effort. But then I think of things like that craft show and I’m actually impressed and a little surprised by how far we’ve come. There is a great sense of satisfaction in what we’ve built and the things we’ve accomplished, regardless of how much distance there is left to cover. Anything worth building takes time. More time than you think …

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Anyone Else Feel Like An Eight-Year-Old in An Adult Costume?

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"I believe that everyone else my age is an adult whereas I am merely in disguise.” —Margaret Atwood I am forty years old but I still feel like I’m eight, trying to figure out why adults act so weird. They appear to have it all together, but don’t seem very happy at all. I think I know the secret, but wonder if I’m the fool. If you can relate to any of that, hear this: you are not alone. If you think life is too short to be so serious all the time, you are not alone. If you believe that experiences are more valuable than stuff, you are not alone. If you suspect there is more to life than school, work, retirement, and death, you are not alone. If you think that The Lego Movie should have at least been nominated for Best Picture, you are not alone. It can feel like you’re on an island, all alone, the weird one. The one people don’t take seriously and whom everyone else in the office rolls their eyes at. We are bombarded by endless messages about how we are supposed to …

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A Little Bit Crazy

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Our family just completed a 17-day road trip that spanned 11 states and 3,800 miles. We traveled with three kids, aged 7, 5, and 2. And we did it in a Ford Edge that was packed with just two suitcases, one cooler, a diaper bag, two computer backpacks, two strollers, one tote filled with food and another filled with swimming paraphernalia and sunscreen. We did this because we are insane. Actually, that’s just a lie I repeated multiple times so people wouldn’t feel bad. It makes it easier for folks to justify why they could never do such a thing, especially if a deep-down part of them yearns to do something similar. If I emphasize how hard it is, it keeps them from feeling jealous of how much fun we had. There were so many highlights: We swooned over a baby gorilla, sampled the best of Kansas City barbecue, ascended 10,300 feet via the Sandia Peak Tramway, cooled off at Slide Rock State Park in Sedona, stood breathless at the Grand Canyon, marveled at the majesty of Arches …

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