The white dog bounded down the skinny green runway, chasing a stuffed animal attached to a steel cable. In just ten seconds, the race was over, and Yeti had her prize. Meanwhile, her best friend was looking on. After the steel cable was reset, this time with a small stuffed zebra, a trainer readied herself in front of the big box where Shiley stood poised. The trainer raised her hand while unlatching the door on the cage, and then dropped her arm to indicate it was time for the wench operator at the other end of the track to get that zebra moving. The door flung open, and a flash of fur and …
Parenthood
Is Struggle a Sign That You’re Doing Life Wrong?
Sometimes I look at my kids and see beauty. I marvel at the sparkle in their eyes and the sweetness of their smiles. I am overwhelmed by gratitude and joy, awestruck by how amazing they are, and humbled to be entrusted with their wellbeing. Other times I seriously consider the ramifications of dropping them off at the mall and driving to Miami, never to return. I have lamented the fact that were I to launch myself through a window of my home, none of them are far enough from the ground to cause fatal damage. More times than not, I am flabbergasted by how frustrating parenting can be. I …
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Father’s Day Tips for Dads from Darth Vader
In honor of Father's Day, I thought it would be fun to re-post an old but useful article about things every dad can learn from Darth Vader: With the 1977 release of Star Wars, audiences were introduced to the baddest bad guy in the entire galaxy. As the story unfolded and the prequels arrived on the scene, many people were surprised to learn that Darth Vader was not always such a bad dude. It may be equally surprising to learn that Mr. Skywalker actually did a few things right in his role as dad. (But mostly wrong.) If you are a father, here are a few things you can take away from Luke …
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The Biggest Regret of Parenthood (and How to Avoid It)
The biggest piece of advice I got when people heard I was gonna be a dad for the first time: "Enjoy every minute; it goes by so fast." As a parent of three young children, I still hear the same chorus over and over again, from grandparents, empty nesters, and parents of teenagers. It's no doubt a cliché, but that doesn't make it untrue. Indeed, the days are long but the years are short. What strikes me is not only how universal the advice is, but how hearing it a million times still can't prepare you for how fast it really does go. (How is Lucy almost four feet tall?!?) You can …
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How To Be Really Famous (In a Way That Matters)
These days it seems like everyone wants to be famous. Which makes it kind of a bummer when you put up a killer photo on Facebook and only two people like it and one of them is your mom. Online, there are all kinds of resources to help you become "internet famous." You can learn how to increase your likes, followers, retweets, subscribers, page views...pretty much any metric you can think of. But just because something can be measured doesn't make it valuable. Now behind the desire to be “famous” is the desire to be liked, admired, or regarded as someone of importance. And that doesn’t …
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Traveling with Kids: How to Not Get Conquered by Disney World
"Disney World is going to conquer you." Those were the words a "friendly" TSA employee working the airport security line delivered to Kim. First of all, who feels it's a good idea to predict a disaster to someone on their first day of vacation, the one their five-year-old has been counting down for over 80 days? Granted, Kim was holding a two-month old, jamming a half-folded stroller into the x-ray machine, and prepping four bottles of breast milk for a some guy with blue gloves to make sure they weren't laced with explosive material. And second, what if Little Miss Sunshine had …
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Just You Wait
Children are a wonderful blessing. And, depending on how you look at it, they can either be a CAUSE OF or a CURE FOR Adultitis. Before we were parents, we had people warn us of the former and encourage us with the latter. When our first child was born, we committed to keeping a weekly journal documenting our first year of parenting. We were curious: How would Adultitis attack us? How would we deal with it? Could we survive? When the dust settled, we'd made it through that first year and made good on our resolution to record the journey. We ended up publishing the honest, unvarnished story …
Ben’s Purple Mustache
Adultitis was kicking our butt. It had been exactly a month since Virginia Rose was born. A good month, to be sure, but also a long one. Weary of the bitter cold weather, our entire family was tired of being cooped up, and the older two kids were passing time by pushing our buttons. Two-year-old Ben had a streak of purple under his nose, a colorful souvenir from "smelling" the markers we used to keep him quiet. Although we pined for an afternoon at a Florida beach, it was decided that going out to lunch was the best we could hope for today. As I went to wipe the marker from Ben’s face, …
On Making Progress
My daughter Lucy is five. Getting her to go to bed has been a struggle since the Johnson administration. Andrew Johnson. I know that seems impossible, but when you calculate it in sleep deprived years, it adds up. We’ve made progress on all fronts over the years, but there’s always...something. The latest challenge is training her that when she has to go potty in the middle of the night, she doesn’t have to wake me up to ask me a series of unimportant questions like “How long is it 'till morning?” and concluding with the ever-present, “Is that all the questions?” She has traces of …
A Nine-Year-Old Declares the One Good Thing About Being an Adult
[This is a guest post by Champion of Childhood award winner Matt Haas (and his daughter Amelia.)] I just finished reading the latest installment of the Escape Adulthood newsletter and it reminded me of a conversation I had recently with my nine-year-old daughter, Amelia. We were driving home from school and she was lamenting that she “never wanted to grow up.” As a newly appointed Champion of Childhood, it was my duty to take a deeper dive on that comment and try and find a possible antidote to this dreaded disease. What did she know that we didn’t, and could it shine some light on this …
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